Answers for September 2002

Quite good questions this time, even if I say so myself – very few got the “right” answers. And today, I have to catch as many flies as possible …. WINNER (third time) is a half-blind non-Icelandic straight guy

Philip Mitchell


Question 1

What is the Pope’s favourite movie?

Infallibly Correct Answer

See for example http://www.bestonly.com/movies_vatican.htm or http://www.cinepad.com/vatican.htm – there are 45 of them. Pope must go to the cinema quite a lot …. it so happens that top of his list is *MY* all-time favourite, Andrei Rublev. So there is at least 1 thing where the big P and myself are in agreement.

Answers

  • Intolerance
  • Where The Boys Are, starring Connie Francis and a bunch of dip-shitty 60’s actors.
  • According to Arthur C Clarke, who’s rather better at self promotion than Mike Batt – it’s 2001 – A Space Odyssey. But the last time I spoke to the holy father he said he was very touched by AI
  • Andrei Roublev
  • Any movie which strategically places a can of Pepsi Cola that the movie goer cannot miss!
  • Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo!
  • Charlie Chaplin’s The Great Dictator.
  • Cheaper by the Dozen
  • Debbie Does Dallas
  • Dumb and Dumber
  • End of Days- the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie in which the devil does exist and so proves the existence of God.(after all these years he is very happy and relieved to come to this conclusion)
  • Even he doesn’t know the real title of it – the video is in a blank case, the tape is unlabelled, and the credits are in Danish which he can’t read. Any nosey cardinals who ask are told that it’s part of an anti-contraception campaign.
  • Gandhi – always study your competitors
  • Gandhi (He has seen it at least twice), although he also enjoyed ‘Life is beautiful’
  • Gandhi. Loves counting the 500000 mourners at the funeral and figuring out ways to outdo it.
  • Delilah Does Damascus
  • He has thousands according to the internet, but I’m going go with “The Exorcist”.
  • He has three. Nuns on the run, The nuns story and also Sound of music. (just can’t get enough of those nuns).
  • Herbie Goes Bananas
  • I asked my local priest this question after Sunday School last Sunday and he told me His Holiness rather liked an old movie called Roman Holiday and anything starring a man I’ve never heard of called Victor Mature but I don’t believe him because he also told me ages and ages ago that he and His Holiness agreed on everything and so His Holiness must really truly ruly like the same movie the priest often shows me when we play doctors and nurses you know its about a big city in Texas and someone who lives there called Debbie.
  • I don’t know, but I suspect it might be some sort of Drama or Thriller.
  • If it’s Pope’s fave movie then it must be boring…..hhhmmm let me think…….the little mermaid
  • In the Name of the Father.
  • John Waters’ classic “Pink Flamingos.” Or was it “Surf Nazis Must Die.” No, no, I’m thinking it was “Gandhi” because he saw it twice. Big deal, I’ve seen “Rocky Horror” over 50 times.
  • Judgement Day
  • Lech Walesa Reforms Bulgaria
  • Lethal Weapons 1 and 2 but not 3 and 4. The Pope has always been a big Mel fan but finds Joe Pesci hard to take.
  • Lolita.
  • Mohammad, the Messenger of Allah
  • Monty Python’s Life Of Brian.
  • Natural Born Killers
  • Nuns ‘n’ buns – Covet thy neighbour’s ass
  • Obviously the answer here is American Pie. No self respecting pontiff would degrade himself with the technical wizardry of such films as Lord of the Rings, (such blasphemy!!); so therefore it needs to be something easy on the eyes and also on the soul.
  • On Any Sunday…the Pope has always been a bad bottomed biker at heart.
  • one that has the song “papa don’t preach” by madonna no i take that back…no one could like madonna movies. Happy Gilmore?
  • Paedophiles ‘R Us
  • Pope John Paul II – The Movie
  • Porky’s II
  • Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
  • Priest
  • Rudy
  • Salo – 120 days of Sodom and Milo and Otis [This sequel sounds much worse than the original Salo – 120 days of Sodom]
  • Sister Act II ( so much better than the original)
  • Striptease. American Pie. Saving Ryan’s Privates. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes.
  • Ten Commandments
  • The Godfather
  • The Godfather part’s one, two and three. The Exorcist (he’s seen it 32 times and it keeps getting funnier).
  • The Matrix, Ronin, Payback, Lord of The Rings and Look Who’s Talking II.
  • Jan Svankmajer’s “Alice” (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0095715) [IMDB says if you like this, then you’ll like Watership Down too…….]
  • The pope shouldn’t be watching TV
  • The Royal Nunsuch
  • The Shoes of the Fisherman, a sexy romp with a half blind Icelandic guitarist.
  • To Be Or Not To Be (a Mel Brooks movie about a Polish comedian resistance fighter)?
  • Well, I found somewhere that it could be “’One Million Years B.C.”, Raquel Welch starring in it. I’m not so sure about it, but I’m almost sure that, whichever it could be, very hardly the old Karol can frankly say the truth about it, isn’t it?
  • What an egomaniac! His favorite movie is one that he wrote! La Bottega dell’orefice is it’s name.
  • Which Pope? I’m sure at least one of them must have plugged for ‘Going My Way/Bells of St. Mary’s’ etc. If you mean the current one, his fave is said to be Babette’s Feast – I guess because it can be taken as a snipe at those goofy lutefisk-eating Lutherans.
  • You wouldn’t think “Nosferatu” would be on a list of Vatican-recommended movies, but there it is. (At least having vampires around would increase crucifix sales.)

Question 2

On 9 Feb 1567 the unpopular Lord Darnley awoke at 2am with a curious feeling that his house was about to be blown up. What happened next?

Answer

This feeling would have become stronger and stronger, possibly reinforced by overhearing distant voices saying “Careful with that barrel” and “Hey you – no smoking till afterwards”. Finally Darnley made a bold decision, leapt from his bed and ran out of and away from the house, just as the whole pile went sky high. The conspirators were gathered in the bushes of the garden to watch the show – Darnley fled right into their arms, whereupon they strangled him.

  • Bang!
  • Believe it or not, his house was blown up!
  • Boom. Aaargh. (dies)
  • Early morning micturation.
  • First: he attempted to decamp. Second: the house blew up. He was found dead in the garden. Of course, no one survived who had any chance to ask him what he felt at 2AM.
  • Fortunately, he was able to flee the house before being killed by the blast. Unfortunately, he was strangled to death by conspirators. (“You are…the husband of Mary, Queen of Scots?” “I am.” [INSERT BATTLE NOISES HERE])
  • Harry the Inflatable House Inflater arrived and did the usual.
  • He blinked. Then he flipped open his zippo and went to light the candle next to his bed. Unfortunately, he lit the wick of the bomb he’d made earlier and blew his house up.
  • He broke wind near a lighted candle. The rest is history.
  • He decided it would be much more enjoyable to be strangled in the garden
  • He decided to devote his time to the service of mankind by discovering a cure for cancer which had not been discovered yet appeared to him in a vision, nay, a revelation, of the kind that occurs when one stays out too late morris dancing and drinking warm fermented pumpkin juice brewed to Mrs. Sedgewick’s secret recipe of county-wide fame. And then his house was blown up.
  • He got a phone call from Foxtel asking if he was interested in connecting to cable TV.
  • He got strangled – oh and his house blew up.
  • He had a little trouble breathing, must be all that sulphur. Then again it could have been the pair of hands at his throat.
  • He had the not so curious feeling that his house was being blown up
  • He left the house in case it was to be blown up.
  • He passed gas, jumped suddenly, and the static electricity ignited the methane and launched him out the window
  • He ran – but not fast enough.
  • He ran through the house’s secret passageways, vaulting the fire-pit, shooting the tarantulas with his trusty longbow, leaping past the spike-encrusted hammer and dodging the giant boulders. Pausing only to collect his fedora from next door’s garden (while his house blew up) he got strangled.
  • He realised that his spastic colon had flared up once again and lent over to grab his medication, it was in that point in time it occurred to him that he had indeed wet the bed.
  • He realized that inflatable structures hadn’t been invented yet and returned to his sleep.
  • He threw himself and his manservant out a window, plummeting to their deaths, a dagger clutched between them. The building blew up as he did so.
  • He was right. His house did blow up. Lord Darnley was also strangled and found in the garden. (The autopsy revealed that he had also been poisoned, had his heart cut out, been lobotomized early in life, been shot 20 times, stabbed 60 times, and had a seriously high cholesterol level. )
  • he went back to sleep and then blew up
  • Henry woke up with the frightening certainty that Woofles the elderly wolfhound, suffering yet another bout of gastrointestinal pyrotechnics, was about to fart again. He raced outside, escaping just before the house blew up. Later he was found in the garden, apparently strangled. Exactly how he died is uncertain: either the Earl of Bothwell arranged his assassination, or Woofles followed his master outside and hid under his dressing gown and let fly once more, resulting in the Lord Darnley being suffocated by a localised cloud of canine flatus.
  • His house was blown up. It was all part of a plan by his wife, Mary Queen of Scots, to get rid of him. An alternate opinion on that night holds that Darnley had received some intellegence that Mary, a well know incompetent, was planning an assasination attempt and made plans to avoid the bomb. Unfortunately for Darnley, he was a bigger screw-up than his wife and his “miracle” escape ended in his death.
  • His house was blown up. (Darnley himself was strangled).
  • His wife rolled over and because of a slight gas problem and a diet or cabbage farted and almighty fart which happened be in the direction of his wifes night light(candle next to bed)
  • I only found out that he was later found strangled outside. So I suppose the next thing that happened was someone with a rope (most say it was someone named Bothwell) jumping into the room.
  • It did and he was killed
  • It did. And despite his attempt to escape through the window, he was still killed.
  • It was 2.00.01 am
  • It was a universal premomition from the other side that a man called Guy Fawkes would be born
  • KABOOM!!!
  • Mary banged him.
  • Not much. However, twenty-four hours later (get it right, Dr. Bob), Lord Darnley died in the garden along with his house-boy, both dressed in their PJs (don’t ask), after the house was destroyed by gun powder placed in the tunnels under the house.
  • Nothing that he didn’t deserve.
  • Osama Bin Laden popped his head into his bedroom and said ‘Peek-a-Boo!’
  • Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. “Darn!” Darnley was heard to exclaim as Bothwell’s big bang lit up the Edinburgh night sky and scattered bits of Kirk O’Field and the unloved Darnley to the four Scottish winds, all of them chill. Mary was happy though.
  • The clock struck 2.01, the mouse ran down, and the dish ran away with the spoon.
  • The house blew up and he was found murdered outside the blast
  • The house blew up.
  • The house blew up. The consensus is that he was strangled trying to escape the explosion. Lord Darnley was married to Mary, Queen of Scots and the murder was ordered by the Earl of Bothwell so he could get some Queen of Scots action
  • The house blown really up and he was strangled in the garden. Without the “curious feeling”, he could be safely strangled in his own bed.
  • The house exploded. He was later found strangled in the garden.
  • The last third of the sixteenth century, followed by most of the seventeenth.
  • The worst heartburn/gas attack of his life.
  • Well I would be interested in finding out exactly how a 1567 arsonist would go about blowing up an entire house, so therefore I would assume he had a warm milk and went back to sleep.
  • Wind. Gale-force. That is why old Darnsey was so unpopular.
  • Ran outside. House blew up. Died anyway. Probably murdered. Strangled? Oz was discovered by Europeans. Several wars. Elvis was born. I won Dr. Bob’s quiz. First man on the moon. Titanic sank. Look, an awful lot of things happened since feb 9 1567. You can’t expect me to write them all down.

Question 3

What can you say about the musical style of half-blind Icelandic homosexual guitarists?

Answers

  • Wow!
  • It has been likened to “God weeping solid golden tears in Heaven” – he must be pretty bad!
  • Anything i like – its a free country I heard that he often sings directly into the guitar pickup producing a challengingly textured and ghostly wailing screech.
  • Bad
  • Being one myself i would have to say it is in the eyes of other people i may add, some what uniqe and invigorating
  • Bob, i don’t know what you do in your spare time but…
  • Breathtaking.
  • Bugger all, really. Musical it ain’t. Stylish it ain’t either. Then again Bjork is Icelandic and all I know about her is that she can’t sing either but oh boy does she have magnificent njorks.
  • Could he be AC/DC??
  • Don’t give up your day job
  • Have-a-heart popsicle, one-eyed gnomes which are found in the garden play air-guitar as good as Dire Straits
  • He has reinvented scat singing, by singing random Icelandic phonemes hopelandic (vonlenska) rather than learning lyrics properly. In an even less innovative gesture, he occasionally plays the guitar with a violin bow, after all Nigel Tuffnel at least used the whole fiddle.
  • I can surely say that it seems the style of an half-blinded Icelandic homosexual guitarist. “Pretty cool”, “different” and “dazzling”, if you like circumlocutions.
  • I cant SAY anything because everyone knows this musical style must be FELT to be believed, so if I could portray their style through vibrations in my keyboard, I would.
  • I can’t see the point of it all.
  • I could say this: “tólf bátsmaður a agúrka the nef af avole.”
  • I don’t know, i’ve never been to california
  • I don’t like it.
  • I love guitar. Is it acoustic? I imagine it would be lovely.
  • If you’re talking about Jonsi from Sigur Ros, I couldn’t understand one darned word. (It was “Hopelandic” FYI). Oh and he sang too high anyway. And played his guitar with a violin bow. Not bad, all the same. [Not bad!!! Splutter splutter.]
  • It beats the heck out of the three-legged syphilitic bush pigmy jazz trio. Talk about lame.
  • It goes well in the Eurovision Song Contest. [Not much danger of that]
  • It is better than that of half-deaf Icelandic homosexual guitarists
  • It is considerably less popular than the musical style of left-handed, 12-toed, slack-jawed, banjo-picking, Alabama yokels. Some would consider this unfortunate.
  • It leaves you half-deaf
  • it makes it hard to take your pick when you want to “pluck” with you fellow players
  • It’s a tactic that’s lost them the Grand Prix of at least the last five Eurovision Song Contests.
  • It’s ambient rock, described sometimes as “ethereal”. That’s basically what I’d expect from the Icelanders.
  • It’s better than anything currently in the top ten singles and albums.
  • It’s dificult to describe. Not only can he not see to play, but is unable to hold guitar properly due to excessivly weak wrists. And he talks funny.
  • it’s gay!
  • It’s not as good as a piece by Mike Batt.
  • I will say nothing about the musical styles of half-blind Icelandic homosexual guitarists, since to do so would be a rash generalisation, as I am acquainted with the works of only some of them… Oh alright… here’s the generalisation: “it sounds like the architecture of sound”
  • Not as good as Eric Clapton
  • Not Blind Gay Villy Vork? the great iclenadic blues harp man…..his harp says it all…there is nothing more that can be said.
  • Not much.
  • Nothing bad. Political correctness would force me to say that it is nice music even if it sucked big time.
  • Nothing but coldly haunting
  • Nothing in general, but Jonsi is good.
  • Outside of completey bizarre, there is absolutely nothing I can say.
  • Pretty much anything, since they won’t understand it anyway(supposing they only speak Icelandic)
  • Sigur Ros’s music is a cold fusion of Icelandic oral tradition with Kid A-esque avant-gardism, managing to sound ancient and futuristic at the same time.
  • Some ambient rock post rock Elfin Hopelandic-sung bow-played-guitar sound. Curious how in Iceland vegetarianism is more frowned upon than homosexuality. […… and transvestism, which used to be a capital offence in Viking days. Men and women both wore a sort of heavy, open necked long-tailed shirt, with the women’s shirts having longer and deeper collars – and some woman got rid of her husband by making him a shirt with the collar bit *too* long, then got him executed as a transvestite.]
  • That they’re probably an acquired taste. And they have a rather bizarre stage routine
  • They are very hands on. Excuse me is this your hand, that is not the light switch.
  • They need to practice more…they only lost one eye.
  • They only see half the sheet music, they fantasize about blond Nordic men while playing, and only plucked, strumming sounds come out of their instruments.
  • They produce a lot of ‘White Noise’.
  • they really know how to get down and funky.
  • They really know how to play the blues!
  • They remind me of a Mike Batt composition.
  • They still sound better than Bjork!
  • Two things: 1) at least one of them has the same tastes in music that he entertained in a previous incarnation as an asiatic throat singer; and 2) their tastes in music (and just about everything else) canot possibly be worse than those of that Bjork creature. For example, I’ve never seen a half-blind Icelandic homosexual guitarist wearing a plastic swan.
  • Um…. I’m thinking, I’m thinking!!! How about “interesting” ?
  • Ummm, well, theres a lot of limping, a lot of sore bums, and alot of touching each other…no wait thats N*Sync…
  • Very similar to the Village people…
  • Well first lets look at homosexuals all there music is punk now lets look at icelandic ppl. who live in a very green country partial to hippies. half blind infers not good guitarist coz they cant read the music. id say they were pretty good i like ’em
  • What can’t I say?
  • What can’t you say ?
  • Whatever you like!

Question 4

For Philip Glass’s opera Akhnaten, who wrote the libretto for the Hymn to the Sun?

Answer

The big A himself

  • Probably Akhnaten himself, according to http://www.soton.ac.uk
  • Akhnaten himself although I think it was the visiting aliens. Even extra-terrestrial civil engineers have to party sometimes
  • Akhanaten himself. Or at least that is what Akhnaten ordered his scribes to chisel out. It could have been ghost written by some court poet.
  • Akhnaten allegedly though i think it lost something in the translation.
  • Akhnaten did. Many moons ago. But it depends where you’re listening to it – it should be sung in the (predominant) language of the audience, so you’d only hear it correctly in a performance in Egypt. Preferably in the 15th century BC.
  • Akhnaten himself. Or, at least, that is what Mr.Glass believes. Or, maybe, what Dr. Bob believes Philip Glass believes.
  • Akhnaten. He da man!
  • Andrew Lloyd Webber. He gets everywhere
  • Either Laurie Anderson or Stephen King.
  • Hmmm, the same guy who provided some of the best music in “A Clockwork Orange”?
  • I cant say, he is in hiding under the libratist protection scheme, new name new ID, new harp…
  • I did. It was brilliant, if I do say so myself.
  • It is an unknown artist. he got it off of a toilet paper commercial
  • It was a case of Do-it-yourself for Philip.
  • It’s adapted from a poem by the title character. It was the most boring part of the opera until the Rosetta Stone was discovered.
  • It’s all taken from texts written in Akhnaten’s time although not from the Great One himself. Akhnaten was more intent on his score with Nefertiti than with a musical score or even a libretto.
  • It’s debatable but I would say technically it was Bono from U2 – it is widely suspected that Akhnaten was just an Achtung Baby rip off.
  • Khwarshed Yasht.
  • Lennon & McCartney
  • Maria Carey
  • Michael Jackson, anything to the son is from Wacko Jacko.
  • Mike Batt and John Cage. They originally called it “Hymn to the Silence.”
  • Moby.
  • Mr Ray Ban.
  • My high school principal-he’s a very accomplished man. [And very old]
  • Philip Glass in associaton with Shalom Goldman, Robert Israel and Richard Riddell
  • Philip Glass was produced by Mr and Mrs Glass and therefore wrote the work himself.
  • Philip Glass, Shalom Goldman, Robert Israel and Richard Riddell
  • Philip Glass. Either in the same incarnation or another. Perhaps we could postulate that every living being is an incarnation of the same soul. That way when you’re faced with questions like this, you can just say, I did it.
  • Philip Glass? Shalom Goldman? D. Winston Thomas? I’m lost here, and can’t even think of a funny comment.
  • Phil’s daughter B-Rocken Glass.
  • Reaching into my CD collection (got to be worth an extra point), Ankhaten’s Hymn to the Aten is taken from Winton Thomas’s English translation in ‘Documents from Old Testament Times’.
  • Sol Amio
  • SOL Hurok!
  • The music man, his prices will amaze you, he’s guarranteed to please, cos he’s the music man.
  • The Pharaoh Akhnaten, silly! It is the only portion of the libretto sung in English, the rest is Ancient Egyptian, Akkadian (NO, not like ‘Evangeline’) and Hebrew.
  • The Reverend Moon.
  • The text is taken from “Documents from Old Testament Times” translated into English by D. Winston Thomas (although for live performances it is translated into the native language of the local audience). Presumably, then, the original lyrics were written by a priest or musician of ancient Egypt, perhaps an Egyptian relative of the family represented amongst Anglo/European music by the prolific composers Trad. and Anon.
  • Toshiba ( http://www.silverace.com/libretto/ )
  • Wasn’t that the photo on the last quiz? ooo i bet it was one of the gay looking guys in the fancy skirt
  • What amazes me about this question is that there is probably someone out there who really cares.
  • Who cares! When Akhnaten got stabbed in the back he sang instead of bleeding.
  • Who wrote Him 2 Da Sum ? Was it Ali G ?
  • Yes…..
  • You have wrongly assumed that we would actually visit the web site you posted for last month’s answers.

Question 5

Mike Batt and John Cage have each composed a musical piece consisting entirely of silence. Which one is better?

Answer

The late John Cage wrote 4″33″ in 1952, Batt wrote “One minute of silence” in 2001 and ascribed it to “Batt/Cage”; Cage’s estate sued, and in this very month Batt has coughed up an undisclosed but six-figure sum. So in legal terms Cage’s is clearly better.

Other Answers

  • 0+0=0.(Disregarding the significance of ‘pregnant pauses’)
  • Aah, the hours I have spent contemplating this myself. My personal preference is Batt’s version however I believe Cage’s was technically correct.
  • According to Mike Batt, his is better because it takes only a minute to say what Cage does in four. However, I think Cage’s is better because he WASN’T PLAGIARISING.
  • According to Mr Cage’s devotees, his is better: it’s the ORIGINAL silence, it is a CONCEPT PIECE, not a JOKE, it is one of the MOST IMPORTANT and PROVOCATIVE pieces of CONTEMPORARY CLASSICAL MUSIC composed IN THE 20th CENTURY. According to me, these people are COMPLETE and UTTER PRETENTIOUS WANKERS and Mr Batt’s piece is better – because it’s shorter.
  • Ahh the age old question, it is impossible to compare two great musical talents such as these great kings among men, to do so would be terrinary on earths very existance so with for the good of my fellow man i must not answer this question. But if i did i would have to say Mikey boy
  • Although Mike Batts silence is a shorter silence than John Cages, John Cages did come first. And as we all know nothing beats the original
  • Another subjective question in the “What is your favourite colour?” vein. Well; Cage has priority, having “composed” 4’33”; in 1952. Stravinsky is supposed to have said “I hope this young composer will provide us with larger works in the same vein.” Cage’s piece is roughly 4.5 times as long as Batt’s “One minute silence” making it a better bargain in terms of ticket price. Also, Cage intended the silence to be provided by a pianist, while Batt’s silence was produced in an editing room. This makes Cage more labor intensive and rooted in traditional craftsmanship, while Batt’s work makes use of modern electronic technology.
  • Batts, because he managed to say in 1 minute what took Cage 4 and half odd minutes.
  • Cage’s piece, obviously. You just have to hear it to know it’s light years ahead of Batt’s baloney. Anyway, Cage is in my Cambridge Biographical Encyclopedia and Batt isn’t, so Cage gets the nod. Ok Bob?
  • I don’t know, I haven’t heard either one
  • I am speechless with rage.
  • I prefer the version on Marcel Marceau’s album the “Sounds of Silence”.
  • If silence is golden, one assumes the longer piece is better and that was “composed” by Cage. During a recording session he passed out from too many reefers for 4 minutes and 33 seconds and later claimed the silence was intentional!
  • It depends on how loudly my wife is snoring at the time.
  • It depends what my tinnitus is doing while i’m listening.
  • It really depends on the recording. For instance, the Tblisi Symphony version of 4’33” is far superior to the version by David Crosby, though not nearly as good as the Curtis Mayfield version. [Or the Sigur Ros version on flugel horn and whoopee cushion]
  • John (or Johnny) Cage. If only because he shares his name with a character from Mortal Kombat. Maybe the silence is reproduced from the instant between when he’s delivered a devestating roundhouse headkick and when the now unconcious body crashes with appropriate panache through some piece of shoddy scenery.
  • John Cage, as Mike Batt is reputed to have copied Cage’s original silence, although some argue that 1 minute of nothing is better than 4 minutes and 33 seconds of nothing.
  • John Cage, since his silence was infinitely more pregnant and ominous.
  • John Cage’s it’s longer and therefore better value for money.
  • Maria Carey’s
  • Mike Batt said his version was better, because he said in one minute what took Cage over 4½ minutes to say. When asked for his opinion, Cage remained silent. Do your own joke here. Me, I wouldn’t know as I’m unfamiliar with either version.
  • Mike Batt tried to get some cheap publicity by first credited Cage with half the composition, and then complaining when the performing rights society thought he should pay half the royalties. So I’d have to go with Cage his was more original, Batt’s is shorter but he’d was better off as Uncle Bulgaria
  • Mike Batt… as creator of the Wombles all his work easily surpasses that of just about every one
  • Mike Batt’s, his silence was more deafening.
  • Mike Batt’s, it’s longer.
  • Mike Batt’s. It’s shorter.
  • Mike’s musical masterpiece, digitally recorded and a saving of over 3 minutes
  • Neither can be, as there would be no difference between them.
  • Neither is better than the other. One is longer than the other though. And they both got their idea from Paul and Art’s “Sounds of Silence.” So their silly bickering over WHO get royalties on silence and who doesn’t, is all for nothing because it all goes to Paul and Art. (I can’t believe I even bothered listening to the news long enough to know there were two pieces of silence – must have been a slow news day.)
  • Neither. They cancel each other out..producing such a din, that neither can be heard.
  • Niether, they both suck.
  • No doubt that (even if “better” is always a very relative word) the original Cage’s piece is quite better. 4’33” is a scientific piece of art, while the silly “one minute of silence” by Blatt shows he’s just a bad imitator. Four minutes and 33 seconds mean 273 seconds, and 273 means the myth of absolute zero (if negative, and using Celsius). Minus 60 is just a cold place somewhere in Siberia.
  • None- mine is the best
  • Oh really Dr Bob! That is the stupidest question EVER. [Oh yeah? Just you wait]
  • On September 24 of this year, Mike Batt was ordered by in court to pay the estate of John Cage an undisclosed sum for stealing the silence idea. So I would have to say that Cage’s is better (or at least more valuable)
  • One or the other is shorter than the other. Depending on the music than came before and after in a concert, silence may be the prefered listening choice.
  • One would have to judge the merits of each piece on the audience’s one hand clapping response.
  • Pardon I missed that
  • Personally. I’d rather have silence from Mike than from John.
  • Shhhh . . . !
  • Silence wins out over silence everytime.
  • The Age Newspaper 25/9/2002: A British musician who included a minute’s silence on his latest album has agreed to pay compensation to the John Cage Trust. Publishers of the late composer claimed Mike Batt had plagiarised Cage’s 1952 composition, 4’33, which was totally silent.
  • The Brit’s, of course! And I’m quoting Mike himself here: “Mine is a much better silent piece. I have been able to say in one minute what Cage could only say in four minutes and 33 seconds. After the Wombles theme, I realised I could never do any better again, and I pledge never to write another note.” (Well, he might have said it!)
  • The longer one, though the music is better than it sounds
  • The one i head at the opera house….I let one off..hehe
  • The one with the 12 bar backing.
  • The shorter one. If the music was made into an MP3 I wonder how small the file would be? [I have it, it’s 4.3MB but it zip’s down to 28kb]
  • The third one. ‘Sounds Of Silence’ by Simon and Garfunkel. I actually prefer Maxwell Smart’s ‘Cone of Silence’.
  • Well i like nick cage but theyre not related…..i like the other dude betta
  • Well if we are to take seriously this Truly Pointless and Stupid composition then John Cage had the longest compositon at 4’33” and had the original if stupid idea, so it could be argued that his was the best.
  • Well there ws a fly tha flew in the recording studion of Mike Batt so there’s a bzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz sounds in it so the second dude
  • Well, Mike Batt’s is the original one, and also longer. Besides, he is an avantgarde artist, and John Cage only a petty Pop writer. So my bet is on Mike.
  • John Cage’s definitely. Our neighbour likes his music loud and it would be nice if he would play 4’33” a bit more often.

Comments:

  • [manic laughter]
  • All I have to say is that these questions this month are so GAY that I only bothered to answer three, and I hope you hire that monkey back to do the thinking for you. What’s his name? Dr A Bobberus, a name you invented so that you can legally put “written/thought up by Dr Bob”? I pity you and your sad, sad quiz that really, really sucked big time this month.
  • Did you know that the only vowel in your name is “o”? [Oh!]
  • Did you really think I would get away with searching for blind Icelandic homosexual guitarists while at work?
  • Do you know that a rich person is more likely to die at the wheel of a Porsche than a poor person. Life can be so unfair.
  • Dr Bob is now on the FBI’s ten most wanted.
  • Dr Bob look at this www site can you name the faces? http://www.nernst.de/solvay1911.htm can you use it as quiz question? [Well I probably could but not now I’ve let everyone see it]
  • Dr Bob, Dr Bob, calling Dr Bob . . .
  • Dr. Bob, my steatopygous friend [no it’s not me, it’s the big A], would you care to tergiversate over the answers I’ve submitted?
  • First time at your site — interesting to say the least. [That’s what my psychiatrist said…. just before he said “enough for a whole conference”]
  • Good evening, and welcome to the Skeptical Ballet Company’s rendition of Tchaikovsky’s “Swan Lake”. Dr Bob will dance the part of the spoiled prince with a jock-strap, a semi-automatic crossbow and a yen to kill protected wildlife, Ermintrude Kennanniwhacker takes the part of the long range stealth swan with nuclear capability, and Sir Jim Wallaby makes a guest appearance as Odile, the cybernetically enhanced black swan – Sir Jim is famed for this role, which includes an exacting sequence of 32 fouette turns of his turret. Choreography by Ridley Scott, costume design by Bjork, orchestra conducted by a half-blind Icelandic homosexual guitarist. [I have loaded my cross bow. Wallaby, get fouetting]
  • Green Tea
  • Hope you give me a positive diagnosis Dr. Bob. Thank you. [Well it’s a funny old world – there have been positive diagnoses that I could have done without]
  • I finally found a job! No more hours of joyous leisure but no more worrying about moving into a cardboard box either.
  • I hate you. Thirtysix hours ago autumn has started. For me, but not for you. There spring has started. There. I hate you. [But there are no spaghetti trees in Melbourne]
  • I know i cant spel but you should ge the idea and if you cant then you shouldnt be a doctor now should you. other than that i like your style bobby boy.
  • i think you have too much time on your hands
  • I was born blind in my right eye. Truly. I can see now, but things are quite blurry if I only use my right eye. I can’t play the guitar though, nor am I Icelandic, or homosexual for that matter.
  • I went sailing recently and one of the guys i was with was trying to be smart and say that your more likely to die in a plane than get killed by a shark… i came back with the fact that you’re more likely to get killed by a coconut falling on your head than get killed by a shark. did you know that bob?
  • I’m clearly the winner- so don’t mess with me.
  • I’m completely normal. Yes. Yes.
  • Keep up the good work. Skepticism kicks ass!
  • No jodhpurs question AGAIN this month?
  • Opera, Iceland, the Pope? You need a hobby…
  • Paranoia: The conceited belief that you’re important enough to have a conspiracy built around you
  • Q: What do you call 99 white guys with clubs chasing one black guy? A: The US PGA.
  • Re last month’s quiz results: what do you mean Holland is a very small country? It’s about the same size as Mt Isa. [But Mt Isa has a big red chimney. It may have a similar social and cultural lifestyle however]
  • Saw the movie “Signs” that had that Australian Mel Gibson in it and it stunk! “Corn” circles in a maize field? That actually referred to British wheat! And the aliens are so totally stupid–didn’t they test to see whether a substance that covers most of the Earth is deadly to them or not?! And baseball bats the secret weapon against aliens?–wouldn’t Gibson have cricket bats around his place?! And a locked house siege scene straight out of too many other horror films–really unoriginal. I sure hope that your Australian skeptic group published bad reviews of this “I’m melting, I’m melting” rip off!
  • See you next Tuesday [Sept 17] Dr Bob! [You didn’t recognise me, David – you were probably looking for someone normal. Try looking at the BACK of the cage, BEHIND the giant panda.]
  • Sorry about all the ranting Dr Bob. I really need some sleep ;^)
  • The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the sea searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. For this task it has a rudimentary nervous system. When it finds it’s spot and takes root, it doesn’t need its brain any more so it eats it. It’s rather like getting tenure.
  • The question here Dr.Bob is: Why, after being alone with you, does the duck refuse to talk??? [OK, that is the last time that I go out for a duck]
  • This quiz is based on facts, although many answers have been fictionalised and modified for dramatic effect. Any coincidence with persons living or dead is deliberate. If you want to copy or sell it, go right ahead, we couldn’t give a stuff. All rights rescinded.
  • To all those Tom Clancy fans out there. Don’t bother buying his new book Red Rabbit. It’s really boring.
  • Unlike last month, I don’t know any of the answers. Oh well, my PhD still passed anyway. [So now you can try something more difficult]
  • very difficult questions
  • What do you mean “try harder”? Do you have any idea how hard it is to convince my brother to give me the correct answers on all those Philip Glass questions?
  • Whats love got to do with it? How many roads must a man walk down? and what is it when the moon’s in your eye like a big pizza pie?
  • your quiz is kool
  • You’re totally bloody wrong about which animals cause zookeepers the most injuries. It was elephants after all. “… the [US] Bureau of Labor Statistics has logged up to two fatalities annually in a population of about 600 elephant handlers, which means the profession has the highest risk of a fatal work injury of any other job in the country, according to a 1997 bureau report.”
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