Answers for March 2000

And in the Best Answers Category. The nominees are Adam Stables, Fred Kelley, Joanne Kelley, Olav Rokne, Sam Ross and Peter Rowney. Pass me the envelope, please, Adolf. The winner this month is –

Ermintrude Kennanniwhacker

Cut to picture of Ermintrude, clutching the award – a golden calculator in the shape of the Titanic, with a little toothbrush moustache on the front. The other contestants all smile, or perhaps they are snarling with clenched teeth. Commentator: Ermintrude, alias Sam Ross, works in the intellectual wastelands of beautiful downtown Maribyrnong. She says there are no sheep now, though – she believes they may have been made redundant, or been sent off to insulate a Collins class submarine. Or possibly to crew a Collins class submarine.

Question 1

How many pips are there in a set of 28 Dominoes?


00-06, 11-16, 22-26, 33-36, 44-46, 55-56, 66 = 168

Less accurate answers:

  • 56
  • 84 = 28 x 3
  • 86
  • 145
  • 165
  • 166
  • 196 = 28*7
  • 250
  • 1,275,814. not including the extra ones in case some of them break.
  • Ahaaaa! The capital D indicates that these are no common dominoes but members of the Dominican order who were well known to trample the monastery vintage in sets of 28. The number of pips in them will be the product of the average number of grapes ingested per Domino and the average number of pips per grape minus the total number spat out. (Whew! Nearly fell into the trap of counting domino pips instead of Domino pips)
  • Domino was a James (not Alan) Bond bird. There’s only one of her, not 28 [or 1.2 billion]. Ergo, the question is impossible unless, of course, you seek speculation on the stomach contents of forgettable female movie actors with a citrus fetish.
  • Apparently the only ones we can get where I live are the seedless variety. I ate pack after pack of them until I started seeing spots before my eyes (168 per box), but not a single pip did I find.
  • Depends on the personal habits of the last grape eater to use it.
  • Dominoes don’t grow from seed. Dominoes don’t have radio time signals either.
  • Don’t know! I usually play with seedless dominoes.
  • Everyone knows it was Gladys Knight and the Pips and not Fats Domino(e) (not even twenty eight of him).
  • There’s supposed to be 168 spots per set of dominoes, but that’s really boring – you can play a much more interesting version of the game using amorous leopards. Actually, as Dr Bob questions go, this one was a bit tame, really – a more challenging question would have been: “how many sets of dominoes can you make out of an average-sized Dalmatian litter (assume all puppies are male)?”. [Well someone with even more time to waste than I have has counted all the spots in the film 101 Dalmatians – something like 3,109 – so it would be about 18]
  • Everyone knows there are no pipes in a set of Dominoes, unless you are referring to the commemorative set produced on the 10th anniversary of the Eisenhower Domino-Effect Bonanza in 1968 at which time Dick Nixon smoked a pipe and declared: “You have a row of commie dominoes set up, and you knock over the first one. The next thing you know, American citizens will be smoking pot and wearing peace signs.”
  • I always swallow the pips, so I don’t really care.
  • I can’t tell you that! A person’s pizza ordering proclivities are privileged information!
  • I didn’t know they were edible. Can you get seedless varieties?
  • I don’t have any Dominoes, but if the game is fair there should be 168 pips.
  • I’d really love to answer this, but…uh…what’s a pip?
  • It depends on how carelessly I am eating apples when playing dominoes and letting the pips fall on to them. However my set has 179 white spots on them, plus a few red ones from spilled wine.
  • Just enough so that it gives you the answer to the meaning of the life, the universe and everything 4 times
  • None – I use the seedless variety
  • None, they’ve never made any sound to me.
  • None. For a variety of pedantic and non-humerous reasons
  • None. Oranges, lemons and other citrus fruit have pips, or what we university-trained scientists refer to as seeds. Dominoes, on the other hand, have spots, are not usually bright yellow or orange, do not contain vitamin C, do not grow on trees, and do not get juiced into bottles (usually). However, I do agree they can be easily confused from a distance.
  • Pips are found in oranges and those bloody awful red grapes. However there are lots and lots of dots in a domino set.
  • Quite a few, I used to work at Dominoe’s, and we had to chuck out quite a deal of rotten fruit and veges.
  • Since Dominoes (well, the Western Double Six set anyway) are essentially the physical representation of every result of throwing two dice (21 results) plus each dice with a blank (6 results) plus blank-blank (1 result – not important to this question), the number of pips totals 168. But I think I am missing the point, something like you only find pips in certain non genetically modified citrus fruits or on the ABC just before the news….
  • Technically there are none actually in the dominoes, there are however quite a few ON the dominoes.
  • There were four pips if you don’t include Gladys Knight, but whether they formed part of the dominoes (Derek inclusive) was merely speculation. Besides the group never even approached the number of 28 even with the efforts (read: affair) of Eric Clapton and George Harrison’s wife.
  • This is a complete guess since I’ve never owned a set – 168.
  • Usually, 28 Dominicans would have 56 pips, 2 each. However, the group may include someone like my friend Colin, who has 3 sets of pips (2 sets are vestigial*) down his front. His wife, when conversation flags, is fond of pulling up his shirt and showing him off in public, much to his embarrassment**. Colin is Irish, not Dominican, which may explain it, and probably gets me no points for this answer. * [I thought they were all vestigial on the male – unless Colin has found a use for them]** [Especially if you had tried this in medieval times]
  • Well Bob I’ve never ordered 28 pizzas all at once but I would have to say that over a period of several years Ive never come across a pip on any of them. (but on second thoughts I have had several with unpipped black olives). but seriously…….dominoes originated in China, Each domino originally represented one of the twenty-one results of throwing two dice. One half of the tile is set with the pips from one die and the other half contains the pips from the second die. When the game arrived in Europe seven extra tiles were added, European sets contain seven additional dominos with six of these representing the values that result from throwing a single die with the other half of the tile left blank. Curiously, there is also a seventh tile with both halves left blank. This gives a total of 168 pips.
  • Who the hell’s been eating bloody oranges over the domino set again?! How many times must I tell you kids … 168 ?!

Question 2

When were can openers invented?


About 50 years after cans (1810) – a bit of a worry really. First patent: 1858 by Ezra J. Warner – used in the Civil War. Household can opener patented by William W. Lyman in 1870

Wrong answers:

  • Shortly after cans I should imagine
  • Shortly after cans were invented.
  • Shortly after cans were marketed.
  • Shortly after cans were invented (yeah, I know everyone is going to say that)
  • Shortly after the can was invented
  • Shortly after they gave up trying to open cans neatly using two rocks and a cold chisel.
  • Shortly after they invented cans, and got hungry
  • Shortly before the invention of cans. This was necessary, otherwise the first cans could have gone unopened for years.

Historically dubious answers:

  • Just after they learned that the returning party of Scott of the Antarctic actually found the tinned stores at the base camp, but they were too weak to tear along the dotted lines.
  • The can opener was originally invented in 1427 in Krakow, Poland as a new, more efficient circumcision instrument, but problems in miniaturisation and unfortunate mishaps in the field trials caused it to be forgotten until the canning of food was invented.
  • A much longer time after the invention of the can than one might expect… (just how long did they think people would go for the ‘break open with a hammer and chisel’ routine?)
  • AD 64, but of course, back then there was no obvious use for them.
  • After Scott reached the South Pole and realised he couldn’t open his roast beef.
  • Some time after the tin can lost the title of “stupidest invention of this century”
  • Directly after the can was invented in 1810 although the first one probably started life as a chisel. Actually it may not have been invented until someone put something into a can and then wanted to extract it again, however this still would have been after the invention of the can.
  • British merchant Peter Durand made a impact on food preservation with his 1810 invention of the tin can. But how to open the bloody thing?! In 1858, Ezra J. Warner of Waterbury, Connecticut, patented the first can opener that was first used by the U.S. military during the Civil War. Guess they got tired of eating buckshot which was the usual way of opening them there darn thangs and the real reason behind American’s second amendment “the right to keep and bear Arms”. The inventor of the “easy-to-use” household can opener was William W. Lyman and this had to wait till 1870.
  • I suspect that it was fairly soon after the invention of the tin can for obvious reasons. (one can almost imagine the ensuing conversation)
  • I think it must have been about the time of the “Bodyline” series when Australian cricket selectors began experimenting with cans, 44 gallon drums and even large ornate urns in a bid to counter Larwood and Co.
  • In 1912 by one of the survivors of the Titanic
  • In Cancun, Canberra, Canada (eh)?
  • In the Middle Ages – the first patented model was called Ye Knight Extractor™.
  • Since they realised doors were needed in toilets
  • The can opener was invented in 34 B.C.E., when Josephus Campbellus discovered a tin of pollo noodleum lying around the Coliseum. He threw it against a pillar whereupon the tin burst open, spewing brothus all over his newly laundered toga. He immediately went home and invented a better way of opening cans. The rest is history.
  • The can opener was, of course, invented many years before the can, by Leonardo DaVinci. It would make no sense to invent cans without having a can opener. However, without a can to open, no one knew how to use it. It stayed in the back of the kitchen drawer for a long time. One day, Leonardo’s great, great… granddaughter, Giovanna DaVinci-Smythe, said “Has anyone seen the can opener?” ….
  • The day after Mr. Elliott decided to put VB into cans.
  • The first Can Opener dates to the year 500 BC, the Greek philosopher Suppositories invented it. His invention went unnoticed until the year 1853, which saw the invention of the can.
  • The first purpose-built can opener was invented in 1858 (by Ezra Warner), then an improved design for continuous operation was produced in 1870 (by William Lyman), and in 1925 an opener with a serrated wheel that travelled around the edge of the can was patented. However, even the first one was invented about 50 years after the invention of the can. The reason for this was that canned vegetables back then tasted just as utterly disgusting as they do today, so nobody was in any particular hurry to eat them (canned asparagus and Three Bean Mix were used as potent and despicable chemical warfare agents during the First World War, causing hideous injury to ….. no, hang on, that was chlorine and mustard gas, wasn’t it?)
  • Well, after cans, but probably when someone went ‘Ahah! Another way to piss of left-handers!’
  • When cans were invented – early 1900s [This is probably correct, in Queensland]
  • When someone got tired of waiting for the cans to rust open.

Question 3

In what book or film does someone say “Round up the usual suspects”?


Originally, by Claude Rains at the end of Casablanca, but there have been subsequent imitations, as the other answers will make clear.

Films That Never made It To The Big Screen:

  • I know this one! It was in my intermediate level maths textbook and if I was really clever I could go on to standard four …mm.
  • Several, the most famous of all is Ernest Goes to Casablanca, in which Ernest P. Worrel, utters his other classic line: “This could be the start of a beautiful friendship– Know what I mean Sam?”
  • “Casablanca”. Or “The Famous Five Go Pillaging”. Or last month’s “New Idea”. Can’t remember exactly – hated them all. “Starship Troopers” was much more fun. No big sexy plasma rifles in “Casablanca”, just that odd man with the speech impediment, what was his name, Humphrey….. Humphrey….. started with B….. oh, yes, Humphrey B Flaubert!
  • Actually it was made by the director on the set of “A Night at the Opera” in an attempt to get all the Marx Brothers together in one place at one time.
  • Are you referring to the Clinton/Lewinsky soap opera or did you have other bogeys in another White House in mind?
  • As well as in the film “Usual Suspects”?
  • Bruce Willis said it in the film Striking Distance. (This entry is an attempt to amend my [correct] answer on an earlier entry I submitted. I just happened to turn the TV on when he said it – and the rest, as they say, is history.)
  • Casablanca. I’ve never seen it. One of the wonders of modern technology is that I can win trivia quizzes simply by the power of my left mouse button and my keyboard. It’s also possible to win any known round of the Kevin Bacon game, provided one is permitted the use of an internet capable PC, a modem, a monitor, a keyboard, a dial-up internet access account and the address of the Internet Movie Database… Actually, now that I think of it, it’s probably not as convenient as I thought.
  • Casablanca. After Bogy’s cigarette lighter gets stolen, they bring in 7 unusual suspects and 6 2/3 usual suspects for the line-up. To make it even, the chief says,”Round up the usual suspects” [Groan]
  • Deep Throat, the directors cut ….. just before the big orgy, one of the actresses is heard to say ‘Round up the usual suspects.’
  • I said it to the girl behind the counter at the video store when I couldn’t find that film, but I added ‘please’.
  • I think you have left out an important part of the quote Dr Bob! It was “Round up the usual suspects and let’s give them a real spanking” from The Sound of Music -(The Von Trapp’s cut)
  • In Casablanca, but the character’s name was ‘Captain Louis Renault’, not ‘someone’. [But he was still someone. When everybody is someone – then no-one’s anybody]
  • In the movie “Basaclanca,” directed by the dyslexic Hungarian, Kihaly Mertesz.
  • In the same movie where nobody said “Play it again Sam”, but somebody did say “Louis, this could be the start of a beautiful friendship” Um… Casa…Casa… sorry, my mind has gone blanca
  • In a very short novel that I wrote. Here it is: The Short Book . Chapter 1. “Round up the usual suspects,” Bob said. The End.
  • It was Virgil in Thunderbirds, The Movie. Yaaaay! [I do not recall this despite having seen this film 14 times. Yes it’s true – one of my summer holiday jobs was selling ice cream in a cinema]
  • Miss Marple Goes to Prison.
  • Most have heard the stories about how Casablanca, to an extent, was made up as they went along. This scene was re-shot about two days after it was originally shot to insert the line “Round up the usual suspects” because the original “Major Strasser has been shot” just didn’t work on its own.
  • Neither book nor film – it was The Australian Senate – 11 November 1975 – the words were spoken by The Senator Mick YOUNG.
  • Not in Singers’ 1993 film “Usual Suspects” nor, for that matter, in Wises’ 1965 “The Sound of Music” but in Zwicks’ 1998 film, “The Siege”. Sorry, can’t think of anything witty or funny for this question.
  • Surprisingly not in “The Usual Suspects”
  • The Bible. It was the Inspector of Dead Sea Fisheries, on being presented with evidence that the catch limit had been exceeded.
  • The Blue Heelers guide to Integers and Line ups. It’s in reply to Maggie saying, “Sarge, we managed to get a line up of 9.79 usual suspects. What should I do with such an unusual number when writing my report?”
  • The documentary “The 1998 New Zealand Sheep Dog Trials”. I still don’t know if they were found guilty.
  • The story of my life…?
  • The Usual Suspects
  • The Usual Suspects
  • The Usual Suspects?
  • The White House (El Casa Blanca). Either that, or a movie about a lawman who enjoys inserting ammunition into the nether regions of repeat offenders.
  • Without a Clue (no really!) – starring Michael Caine and Lysette Anthony

Question 4

The large edible bird that the English call “turkey” is called in French “Coq d’Inde” and in India they call it “Peru”, and for that matter in Peru “gueguecho” but where did it really originate?


Mexico (strictly, northern Mexico and what is now part of the southern United States)

Even Better Answers:

  • The turkey originated, probably like most other birds, from a prehistoric light-boned form of reptile with highly evolved scales (aka feathers) and webbed skin on its arms and hands. Prior to that, in the longer view, it originated from a primordial amoeba in what is now a sewer in Kampala.
  • Well, David Attenborough, Kenneth Branagh and Sam Neill would have us believe that all birds are the descendants of dinosaurs, so turkeys must really have originated in Pangaea. There, or Jurassic Park.
  • I find that the featherless frozen turkeys that come from Safeway-land are the easiest ones to catch and cook.
  • America. Where else do Turkeys come from? I mean really, what kind of a question is that?
  • An egg.
  • Coles New World supermarket.
  • Who said that turkey was edible? The only turkey I’ve ever been served up has been tough and stringy! [Yes, but after you have killed & cooked it the texture should improve].
  • Genesis 1:20. Or Genesis 2:19. Or both. Or from a single celled creature which after billions of years evolved into a perfect dinner to ensure that American Indians and English boat people could share Thanksgiving.
  • Hamburg. No, wait, Belgium. No, hang on, Chile… Actually, I think they originated in the United States of America, as Benjamin Franklin wanted to make it their National Bird.
  • I got as far as finding that there are two varieties of these birds – the South Canadian/USA/North Mexico version, and the one that is native to a number of Central American countries. Then I got stumped. I’ve decided to go out on a limb, and say that they originated from the Arctic – and that this is widely known among North Americans. This explains why many North Americans are heard to shout “Freeze, turkey” when they are attempting to shoot at you as you run away.
  • I’m not sure, but in Turkey they call it “the American bird”.
  • In a southern state of the U.S.A. where they were known as K.F.T.
  • In Mexico, where they celebrate Turkey Day, or Las Dias di Gallos di Cock-a-Doodalas, Doodalas every October and then hang Hernan Cortes in effigy, but only after they’ve eaten up all the pumpkin pie.
  • In the Guatemalan plains of Naboo.
  • It was introduced to this planet in about 1200 BC, by the alien colonization fleet that established a base on Atlantis. After Atlantis sank in 1491, the bird migrated to the primitive USA [an apt description], where it first met mankind [or at least, Americans]
  • It’s amazing what you can find out about turkeys! Apparently they walk around gobbling and bobbing their heads and the female has a smaller head and is less likely to have a beard. Remind you of any other groups? Came from North America.
  • It’s one of the few translated words from the Voynich Manuscript. ‘Tur’ meaning big mean looking bird, & ‘key’ meaning run away quickly. Prove me wrong. *said poking tongue out & ‘keying’*
  • ‘Meleagris gallopavo’ (chicken like cock – steady…) more commonly known and dined upon as ‘the turkey’ originated on the continent of North America and was brought to Europe in the enlightened 16th century by the Spanish Conquistadors. So popular was this bird in Europe and Asia Minor that they even named a country after it!
  • North America, apparently. You really have to try out the Turkey Trivia Quiz at I won’t try to make any sarky puns about turkey’s and trivia and the unbelievability of it all…I’m too tired.
  • Northern Mexico and Eastern USA The use of turkey as a term of insult probably originated after Gallipoli WW1.
  • Peru, and considering the long journey back to Europe it’s a wonder they survived without being eaten
  • The big bang
  • The domestic turkey, Meleagris gallopavo, is descended from the wild turkeys originally native to Southern Ontario, parts of the U.S. and Mexico. Useless turkey gobble: Turkeys are so unintelligent that when it rains, they look to see what is hitting them, and they can actually drown from rain inhalation. [Source: Local farms, and the Turkey Stock Exchange ( Turkeys have heart attacks; when the U.S. Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, fields of turkeys would drop dead. Also, 100% of all U.S. commercially bred Turkeys are artificially inseminated. The Toms (males) have been bred to have abnormally large breasts (chests) and can no longer come close enough to mate their battered hens.
  • The Far Side.
  • The Turkey is native to North America where it was at one time nominated as the National Bird of the United States(and emblem) by Ben Franklin. Ben’s argument was that the Turkey was a wiley and cagey bird, difficult to hunt while the Bald Eagle was just another opportunistic scavenger (hmmm?).
  • Turkeys come from America. Dunno where the ones with feathers come from.
  • USA, In fact…Benjamin Franklin, who proposed the turkey as the official United States’ bird, was dismayed when the bald eagle was chosen over the turkey. Franklin wrote to his daughter, referring to the eagle’s “bad moral character,” saying, “I wish the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country! The turkey is a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America.” (Shamelessly stolen from
  • Well, the Dutch word for it is “kalkoen”, does that help?
  • Wouldn’t be Turkey would it??

Question 5

What percentage of microwave ovens have the door hinged at the left?

Correct Answers:

  • 100.00%
  • A very small percentage of any microwave oven is actually hinged – more like 2%
  • (100 – (percentage of doors hinged at the right))
  • 100% of the microwaves I have owned (sample number n = 6).
  • 100% of the normal ones. All the others are weird so they don’t count.
  • 100% of the ones that I have personally encountered. Can’t tell for sure about the rest of the worlds supplies though.
  • 100% of the ones which are left hinged and 0% of those right or bottom hinged.
  • 100%. I think. Of course, this is done deliberately to annoy the left-handers. And right-hand hinges are expensive.
  • 99.9999999%, because the early ones had no door (an early design fault)
  • 50%. For every microwave in our universe, there is a corresponding mirror universe microwave, each microwave which is right-hinged in our universe is left-hinged in the mirror universe and vice versa. Therefore exactly HALF of all Microwaves in the Binary-Multiverse have their hinges on the Left.
  • Don’t like your microwave oven always being hinged on the left? Think that it’s politically motivated by those subversive, do-gooder, femi-nazi, evolutionist pinkos that design everything for us today? Then fight back! Just turn your microwave upside-down, and you’ll soon see how being right can solve all your problems! For answers to other life-threatening problems, email for a free, no-obligation brochure.
  • Having checked out the representative samples in two electrical appliances stores and various homes and laboratories, I can say that 100% of microwave ovens that I have seen have the door hinged on the left and the control panel on the right – and I have a CONSPIRACY THEORY as to why! The dictatorial fascist pig-dog dexter-centric establishment assumes that the user will be right-handed, and therefore will be holding a dish of food in the right hand (while using the left hand to open the door), then be right-handed when pushing the buttons on the control panel. It’s anti-sinister oppression, that’s what it is! Blatant discrimination against left-handers, I tell you! – come and see the violence inherent in the kitchen! Help help I’m being repressed! Death to all right-handers, dexie scum! Where’s my big sexy plasma rifle? Oh, bugger, look, even this has got the bolt on the wrong side…..
  • 99% if looking at the microwave from the front, 1% if looking out from inside the microwave. Actually I have never observed a microwave hinged on the right (looking at it from the front), however I’m sure there are some microwaves for left handers out there somewhere so I say 99%. To be honest, I have never observed one from the inside either. Why is that? Okay, so I really don’t have any idea on the microwave question.
  • 99.94(Oops I’ve been watching too much cricket)
  • According to the Kansas Handbook for high school science teachers: “Since God is left-handed, micro waves spin counterclockwise in the northern hemisphere. Therefore, all microwave oven doors open from the right. Otherwise, the microwaves would blast open the door and re-arrange the molecules of everyone in the kitchen. It is unknown what happens in the southern hemisphere. Australia, for instance, does not have any microwaves, as God has little interest in the southern hemisphere, and never got around to finishing it, since it is upside down and he gets dizzy easily.”
  • After much research, and to the annoyance of the man in the whitegoods store, all of them.
  • All of the ones I have ever tried – I know because I am left handed and it is a bugger trying to juggle plates of food and use the right hand biased keypad.
  • All of them, because in Maxwell’s equations there’s a right-hand rule which posits the direction of the electric field of the microwave. If left-handed microwave doors existed, they would be in violation of Maxwell’s equations and there would be no more TV, radio, internet, or double-chocolate ice cream pie, and the world, as we know it, would come to an ignominious end.
  • Here’s an urban myth that seems to be quite prevalent on the internet: “The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.” There is some truth in this, but it is alas, inaccurate. The device was actually invented after researchers working on radar at Bell Laboratories noticed that a chocolate bar that had been left near a magnetron melted after a few hours of exposure. If a researcher had a chocolate bar melt in his pocket when he walked by radar equipment, he would most probably die due to the intensity of the RF’s. [Source: ‘History of Physics’ – Isaac Asimov]
  • Having found no evidence to the contrary, I’ll have to pass it over to our left-handed brethren who say that due to some ‘sinister’ conspiracy, ALL the microwave ovens ever made have been designed to be damnably difficult for a Southpaw to operate.
  • I could not find an answer to this on the web. I did however order a nice Microwave Radiation Detector for $29.95. Now I need to get a microwave oven and start detecting.
  • I dont know, but await the answer eagerly as the acquisition of this knowledge could change my life. [Clearly your life is not 100% yet]
  • I haven’t got a clue. [But if you had one, you could warm it up]
  • Insufficient information with which to give an answer – do you mean of those manufactured – or do you mean of models designed – also do you mean to include hybrid ovens that include microwave transducers.
  • Less than 1%, but who cares about left doors, left handers, or left anything for that matter?
  • Some scientists claim that frequent users of microwave ovens become unhinged, or at least their genitals do, so this is yet another of your irrelevant questions (tch!) Even if the answer is almost 100%. I use my microwave oven daily. Does it show? Or should I check my genitals? [Yes and if they haven’t warmed up all the way through, stick them back in for another 60 seconds]
  • This particular issue is a sensitive one for the Left-handed Peoples Coalition of Australia, but majority rules in this case. 100 per cent.
  • Useless questions like these make you wonder if Dr. Bob hasn’t become a little unhinged himself.
  • Why would one care about the political leanings of a microwave oven door? Do they have a large and influential political base? Does George Bush know about this?

Comments this month:

  • *insert the smurfs theme song*
  • After Bible Code class last night I came home and found all the questions and answers to your next 10 quizzes in the synoptic gospels. However I can’t read Greek.
  • No maths, no Hitler, no Titanic. You ok, Dr Bob?
  • Did you hear that? [No. Hear what?]
  • Did you know that the more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
  • Do you expect us to count the domino pips or know that answer from memory? [We ask the questions]
  • How old are you? [34, because I know a kid who is half-crazy and he’s 17. And my dad is a famous wit and he’s 68]
  • I made up all my answers for this month. Can you tell? [Whom?]
  • I really like your questions and I’d really like the answers.
  • I wish that my room had a floor. I don’t care so much for a door. But this walking around without touching the ground is getting to be quite a bore.
  • If there’s beer being bought, make mine a Guinness, OK?
  • It was a bit easier than last month’s (which I didn’t even attempt because my brain started to overheat when I saw the questions.)
  • Nice link to last month’s Turkey question with this month’s turkey question. [Thanks – I had cranberry sauce on my brain at the time]
  • [say in Dutch:] Plees veal vree too korregt annie zpellink mizteeks im mie anzers.
  • That was Veterinarian’s Hospital. Tune in next week when you’ll hear Nurse Janice say: “Dr Bob, Dr Bob, according to this chart, this patient’s blood pressure is dangerously low! What will I do?” “Blood Pressure? That’s my results to this month’s Quiz!” Bahahahahaha!!!
  • This space is intentionally left blank. [later follow up:] woops, I have just been reading February 1999’s responses and I realised that someone had already _done_ the ‘This space is intentionally left blank.’ thing. So please change it to: ‘This space is intentionally left devoid of all attempts at humour’. It would be a little more accurate, I feel.
  • Well Bob its my first entry so be gentle 😉
  • I did particularly well with the Jan 2000 quiz if only I’d had the courage to actually submit my entry I would have won hands down! [Funny, my ascent of Mt Everest was exactly like that. I did really well and if I had bothered to go there and do it …]
  • What is the purpose of this quiz? [So that you can score well] Hope I scored well, keep up the good work.
  • Why am I sitting here doing this quiz on a bright Saturday afternoon when I should be surfing (at the beach, not on the Web)? Am I unhinged? Diagnosis please, Dr. Bob. [Sorry, we did Freud last month]
  • Why do the comments (that are optional) have to be about the quiz? [Well this one’s not, for a start]
  • Will someone, please, stop me from doing this? [Yes: Joanne, stop doing that and finish off the quiz answers]
  • You’re becoming so obscure that I won’t be surprised if you start asking questions in Danish. [My wife is Swedish – that’s sort of near enough. She says I am not obscure enough – she keeps seeing me around the place]