Answers for March 2012

Oh dear, what a dismal response. Probably because I tried setting all-picture questions, and you can’t Google for the answers – anyway congratulations, FWIW, to our new WINNER

Chad Jordan

Question 1

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This is Jodhpur; why are so many of the houses painted blue?

Answer

Only Brahmins (the top caste) had blue houses, but over time people began to realise that anyone can buy a tin of blue paint.

Additional Answers

  • Because they are Jodhpur’s blue movie houses. It pays to advertise.
  • I tried googling, but the answer I got was a load of bull.
  • This is a photo from a crashing satellite approaching Jodhpur at great speed, the houses aren’t really blue. In an odd twist the satellite also rid the area of any infestation much to the delight of locals.

Question 2

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What do you notice about this fakir’s Bed of Nails?

Answer

There are more nails in the middle (where you sit) than at the edges.

Additional Answers

  • Owned by a fake fakir, given the increased nsi (nails per square inch) in the centre left. More nsi = easier to lie down, meaning that said fake fakir cannot make a prick of himself.
  • Is it a picture of something, the fallen madonna with the big boobies perhaps. It certainly looks like a framed picture. Either way there are far too many nails there for an effective demonstration of my faith.
  • What, aside from the fact that he must have slept standing up, and that it’s water damaged?

Question 3

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What is the purpose of these devices?

Answer

To hinder the passage of elephants in battles

Additional Answers

  • Sit on one and you’ll be saw and sorry.
  • Ahh the old Fakir toilet seat design, it didn’t seem to catch on. Perhaps a demonstration of pure ignorance? No it’s the all new kitchen slicer from Demtel, ring now but don’t send any money we’ll bill you, ring 008 023 025. Ring now!
  • I am not sure, but have just discovered ‘Jodhpur torture’ is yet another combination of words for the ‘Google at own risk’ list.

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Question 4

At Udaipur, this is the flag of the old kingdom of Rewar – what is unconventional about the flag?

Answer

There are two flags, the conventional one and the little triangular one. The warriors of Rewar were so fierce that its King said that one-and-a-quarter flags were merited.

Additional Answers

  • The bright cheerful colours are not in rainbow order, a subtle reminder that the old kingdom of Rewar was happy but not gay.
  • Apart from being held up by a trident, the flag looks mounted incorrectly, is the wrong colour and missing three icons…. Hang on that’s not very witty is it! Am I even looking at the right flag? Perhaps it should be the Jain flag.
  • Apart from the fact that it’s stiff and triangular and mounted on a tripod? Well, it isn’t up to the usual standard.

Question 5

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This is the King’s bed at Jaipur. For the detection of intruders, it was built high off the ground and the room was filled with a few inches of water after the king had climbed up into the bed. After a copious banquet of the most amazing Indian food, or indeed on any other night, what happened if the king woke up in the night bursting for a slash?

Answer

According to the guide, the king shouted out, the guards got up and drained the water, the king went to the bog and returned then more water was let in. Clearly being a king had only limited privileges – one would think a king could just add to the surrounding water, thus deterring intruders even more.

Additional Answers

  • Easy – over the side with the old feller, slash, resume slumber. No-one would notice at the time unless they were listening out for tinkling noises, and no-one would notice either the colour or the pong the next morning because the best solution to pollution is dilution.
  • He would call for a servant to swim in with a bed pan, and insist the servant swim out without spilling it.
  • It took me a while to find this and I say a form of urolagnia called urophagia for the wit response. I now have more information than I needed on that topic and don’t switch your google search to images, Ever! If I were him I would just pee over the side and whistle.

Comments

  • Comments: Will Gillard’s carbon dioxide tax mean that future fakirs can afford fewer nails, meaning that future fake fakirs will indeed make pricks of themselves? Meanwhile, will her tax also push up the price of booze, meaning that the fakir’s assistant won’t be able to do his job through an inabilty to afford getting hammered? Ah, the important things of life…

Have a go!