Answers for April 2011

Answers for April 2011. Not much of a repsonse this month, however, I have AT LAST begun to process the old answers, moving back in time, and have added 2008 to the “Past Quizzes” page. WINNER this month contributed the better-than-the-real answers leading the lists for Q5 and Q6 –

Tom Black


Question 1

What instrument did Jimi Hendrix play before he got an electric guitar?

Answer

Air guitar (using his mother’s yard broom)

Additional Answers

  • Bass guitar
  • You – kelele. His Dad was Canadian, and Jimi went to school in BC.
  • As any adolescent boy learns to play: his organ.
  • Electric glockenspiel
  • Oh, Dr Bob, you know I was trying to do this without resorting to Google. Okay, I bet he had an acoustic guitar and he played that immediately before starting on an electric guitar. Just for that, here’s a question for you. Which utterly cool 1970s rocker played sax on a daggy 1974 folk/rock album featuring songs about elves and fairies?
  • The Acoustic Guitar, then the double speed guitar, then Grand Piano and at last Tubular bells. Or was that someone else?
  • The afro comb, I mean the hair was way special and he must have spent a lot of time working it.
  • The air-broom
  • The unplugged broomstick and the ukulele in a speed garage clean out style

Question 2

Pliny the Elder recounts the story of two painters who brought covered paintings to see who was the better artist; one unveiled his painting, which was of grapes so realistic that birds immediately swooped down to peck at it. He then leaned over to pull the veil from his rival’s painting – and what happened?

Answer

The veiled cover WAS the painting, thus fooling him as much as the birds

Additional Answers

  • … which was of him leaning over to pull the veil from his painting, and a paradox was created
  • “Ze painting iz full of birdz”
  • He couldn’t because the veil was painted. (Oh Bob… Who needs Google when you ask such obvious questions?)
  • He was framed
  • His grant ran out, and he got a job as a waiter.
  • It was a picture of birds in various states of classical repose, i.e. nude and the birds gave off eating the grapes and began to do other things, alas there was a third painting which depicted a statue of the local monarch/famous person which became a place where the birds proceeded to dispose of said grapes with great gusto.
  • No curtain twitching for Zeuxis; Parrhasius forgot to cover up his painting.
  • Nothing. Nothing at all. Actually the veil didn’t let itself be pulled.
  • Parrhasius won the bet when the elated Zeuxis asked him to pull a linen curtain to reveal his counterpart’s painting . . . but the curtain itself was painted. And I know the one about a cobbler who corrected another Greek master, Apelles’ painting of a sandal strap, but then began to criticise other parts of the artwork. Appelles stopped him with, ‘Ne sutor supra crepidam’: ‘Shoemaker, not above the sandal,’, or as we say in Canada, ‘Don’t get engaged whilst kneeling on dog-do.’

Question 3

In the 1970s the King of Sweden applied for a parking permit to park his car in the Stockholm CBD. What happened?

Answer

His application was refused by the city burghers. Being a King is obviously not what it used to be.

Additional Answers

  • They told Carl they didn’t want to set a precedent. He’s been to Canada, you know.
  • He didn’t get it and was incarcerated for parking in a disabled parking spot, then suffered stockholm syndrome and now lives happily with his queen, Frederich the jailer
  • He disappeared, it is rumoured he is still stalking the halls of the local council offices and will haunt said halls until such time as the permit is provided. His Ford Cortina is still parked illegally out front of the council offices and there is a daily ceremony of the “Issuing of the ticket” whereby a traffic officer reverently places a ticket onto the windscreen of the Cortina with much pomp and ceremony. It has been compared to the changing of the guard at some British palace, but without the hats.
  • He was told to Berger off.
  • His request caused a revolution and his disempowerment. Only after he retracted his application he was allowed back with the hint, that the next request would be discussed by his neck and a sharp instrument.
  • In accordance with the 1973 protocol in response to the oil crisis – cars that were currently in motion were prohibited from stopping and cars that were currently not in motion were banned from lateral motion. The King of Sweden’s Volvo was at the time parked out the front of Jane Fonda’s house.
  • It was refused because the Enforcement Administration would have gone broke without the revenue his illegal parking was providing.
  • Jag vet inte svaret..
  • Nothing here either. He didn’t get it. First he went very sad and thought about abdicating but then he realized he didn’t need any permit as he couldn’t get any parking tickets (or didn’t need to pay them)

Question 4

After the Pilgrim Fathers had landed in America, the first Native American to walk into their camp said, to their amazement “Hello, Englishmen!” and what did he ask for next?

Answer

Beer!

Additional Answers

  • How non-PC, but after all, he’d been to Canada, too: Beer!
  • $100 chips
  • “My hovercraft is full of eels. Do you waaant – Do you waaant to go back to my place, bouncy bouncy?”, inspiring a very young John Cleese, who I believe was present at the event.
  • A luverly cup o’ tea and a ginger nut to dunk
  • A nurse. So he could then go on to say “Hellooo Nurse”.
  • Beer and pretzels.
  • Do you have any firewater? (‘No we only have tea’ they answered. The Indian went so angry that he threw all of it in the water)
  • He asked for beer and was lucky enough not to get some. Seriously, who in their right mind would ask for English beer?
  • If they could kindly not infect everyone with small pox, if that was ok with them

Question 5

There are several regular, powerful or otherwise remarkable winds that have names – Mistral, Fremantle Doctor, Simoom, etc – but only one is native to Great Britain. What is it?

Answer

The Helm Wind, coming off the Pennines

Additional Answers

  • Hawkwind.
  • Helm, who, incidentally is an excellent Canadian writer.
  • Billy Connolly.
  • Bullocks
  • I can’t helm you on this.
  • If the question were “which is it?” I’d have said Helm Wind, but since you ask “what is it?”, well… it’s a wind.
  • Mary? (Refer Q1)
  • The Coffin Rocker.
  • Tony Blair

Question 6

quiz201104q6


What show is this, and who is allowed to see it?

Answer

This is part of a picture that was encoded on metal and sent off into deep space on the Voyager space probe. However due to earthly copyright restrictions, only extraterrestrials may see/hear all the material.

Additional Answers

  • That is an episode of the wildly unpopular ubercomedy “Lick, Bite, Drink”. It was so high brow that only the 12 smartest entities in the universe could understand the humor thus only the Mother Ruler, sub-lord Utilax, the secretary Massphart, super-commander Deck Laser, and the other dignitaries of the hyperquadrant may watch.
  • Food porn? Subscribers?
  • It’s a modern version of the royal theatre of China whereby only those of the emperor’s family can watch. Of course a touch of communism led to a few changes in how it worked and looked. This scene is the decadence of westerners and especially the promiscuity that is found in the licking of the ice cream. It is a very moving tale of capitalism and how you should always carry your little red book. It might also be the first non-animated Simpson’s episode.
  • It’s the Westboro Baptist Church’s Seven Deadly Sins show, and it’s available to any poor sap who searches for it on YouTube. You think their rendition of gluttony’s bad – click away before they get to lust.
  • Looking at it, I’m not sure whether “allowed” is the right word to use.
  • Looks like a Dinner Theartre show (pun intended)
  • Master Glutton, it’s more about who’s not allowed to watch it – bulimics, anorexics, chefs, little children and waiting staff, than who is
  • This is ‘The Icecream Toast and Water’, the not very much known sequel to ‘A clockwork Orange’. You are only allowed to see it if you have seen the original movie at least 10 times before
  • what ever show is broadcast, and It’s not so much who is allowed but what else is there to watch?

Comments

  • Apologies for my poor Swedish.
  • Thanks for the Canadian quiz, Dr.Bob, but Canada Day isn’t ’til July 1st.
  • It’s too late for comments!

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