Answers for March 2005

Another Prize this month! The prize is a week in sunny tropical Cairns, in far north Queensland (as distinct from Queenslands of other types). My family were splashing around in a motel pool in Cairns once, people marvelled at the sight of anyone doing this when it was only 27°C until someone said “They are from Melbourne”. WINNER of this month’s special prize of a week in sunny Cairns is:

Craig Boyce

… of Cairns. Enjoy the mud flats, Craig.

Question 1

How were pickpockets traditionally punished in Framley, UK?

Answer This is the top entry if you Google on “Framley” “pickpocket” in the singular. I know this one’s easy but the site is so good that I want people to see it. I can confirm that this material is presented exactly like a rural British newspaper.

Other Answers

  • According to one website, they were “hung until the 19th Century”. Gosh, didn’t they trip over?
  • “In Victorian Framley, if caught, a pickpocket would have his hands removed and replaced with his feet. If he offended again, they would be swapped back.” This clearly shows, as quantum physicists well know, that parity conservation is quite important.
  • According to, a pickpocket would have his hands removed and replaced with his feet; if he reoffended, they were swapped back again. I suppose the trick would be to make sure that you always stole even numbers of items. (There’s a definite whiff of Pythonism about this site – this very silly alleged ‘museum’ was supposedly once offered a 50,000 pound grant to close and never re-open, so this information must be taken with a grain of salt. It’s more likely that pickpockets in fact just had their hands removed and impounded to be sold for medical experiments with the money going towards making restitution to victims of crime.)
  • Ancient Framley tradition required male pickpockets to stand naked in the town square for a week with nothing to eat except a certain blue potion concocted by the local Pfizer family, thus suffering the opprobrium (and mirth) of passers-by, it being a well-known fact that the length and strength of a pickpocket’s fingers are in inverse proportion to the length and strength of their todgers. The chronicles are silent on the punishment accorded to female Framley pickpockets.
  • Being in Framley was considered punishment enough.
  • By cutting off their hands and replacing them with their feet. Imagine trying to pick your nose after that. You’d have to commit another offense so that they’d put them back.
  • Cruelly
  • Deported to Australia via convict ships… quite barbaric compared to nowadays standards when they would probably just get a lecture on sexual harassment!
  • Forced to work for Inland Revenue. Or they’d have their hands removed and replaced with their feet…!? I’m not sure which is the more barbaric punishment.
  • In a steel coffin with spikes on the inside – or they’re elected.
  • Made to wear boxing gloves AND live in Framley where nothing happens
  • No true pickpocket was ever caught and punished by replacing hands with feet…those that were subjected to unusual torture were (apologies in advance) FRAMED!
  • The money was good, the rush was sweet, the judge was cruel, my hands are feet. Ok, probably they just cut off the right hand and gouged out the eyes, but thank you for pointing me to the Framley Museum site. Their humor made my morning. [Jeff, with American spelling I know you omit the ‘U’ from “humour”. But also … you missed the “U” from “mourning”]
  • The old foot/hand switcheroo. And if you can manage to pull off the dastardly deed again, considering your predicament, the authorities will have them switched back. Gross [but you’d have to offend 288 times?]
  • Their coat pockets were picked off.
  • Their hands and feet were removed and swapped. If they reoffended the “procedure” would be reversed!
  • Their hands were cut off and sewn into the Bishop of Canterbury’s trouser pockets.
  • They were made to stay in Framley
  • They had their hands and feet cut off and swapped around. This was found to be a very effective strategy – except for the band of orangutan pickpockets who really didn’t notice the difference.
  • They had their hands removed and replaced with their feet and vice versa. If they were found reoffending the punishment was reversed. I think we need to bring this back.. perhaps if politicians lie we could swap their heads with their arses… trouble is nobody would know the difference.
  • They had their hands removed and replaced with their feet. (Does that mean that handball becomes football and football becomes handball??) Not to mention it would ruin their dreams of ever joining Tapdogs and escaping to live a better life. If they survived the punishment, of course.
  • They had their hands removed and swapped with their feet. Apparently the only way to convince them to undo this was to repeat the offense, at which time they’d switch them back again!
  • They had to live in Framley and read the Enquirer.
  • They were forced to bungee jump into a vat of bees whilst covered in molasses. They were then hit with stout sticks. [No, that was the reward for the Citizen of the Year]
  • They were framed in Framley.
  • Traditionally they were moved from the back of the crowd onto the stage.
  • They were forced to watch the English cricket team in action. [What a terrible punishment – you’d die of old age first]

Question 2

King Priam of Troy tired of the ranting of the prophetess Cassandra, especially as she was invariably correct but nobody ever believed her, and had her detained in a building. What shape was the building?


Pyramid shaped. But we are not told whether the pyramid was hollow or, like the more traditional structures, solid stone which would have shut her up a whole lot better.

Other Answers

  • A castle…but that’s what Cassandra said, and nobody believed her.
  • Priapic Priam imPrisons Prophetess in Pyramid Panic!
  • A pyramid, which obviously meant that Cassandra could rant even more under the concentrated cosmic energies that were channelled through the universal mathematics contained in the divine shape. Of course, she could rant all she wanted, poor lass, as she was on the top of the citadel where nobody could hear her. Ahh, that we modern day sceptics could be so lucky and have these banishments enacted again on other poor, never believed but always correct (after the fact) modern day seers and prophets/prophetess’……..
  • A tower, for all that I know. I imagine that February Quiz Pic Question shocked you a bit, Br.Bob: now, if a beautiful girl is mentioned (and Cassandra was Priam’s most beautiful daughter – ask to Ajax Oileo if you do not believe it), you suddenly start to think about towers, knights, bishops and pawns.
  • Ah, um shape hey? Probably rectangular with a court yard in the middle. They were all like that in those days.
  • All I could find was that, “Priam had her locked in a chamber”. So much for being able to find anything you want on the Internet… [Ha!! Look at which is where I found it]
  • Box like.
  • Circular dome type tower thingie
  • Does a trojan horse sound familiar?
  • Equine
  • Few know that “priam” in the ancient Trojan language means “five” in modern English. Many buildings were, therefore, five-sided in honour of the king. Poor Cassandra was thrown into a large one of these. Amazingly, there is a modern five-sided building within which reside people who are also invariably correct but nobody believes (particularly the Fairfax press and ‘The New York Times’). Yup, today’s Cassandra cage is the Pentagon…
  • Flanged
  • From the air, it looked like a giant Icelandic nude. Unfortunately, the development of commercial air travel was still some thousands of years away, so this humourous effect was completely lost on all Trojans except for a couple of architects.
  • Given the shape that Priam choseAnd where it is with lots of thoseHe should have just gone and shipped, Cassandra off to ancient Egypt. (OK, it wasn’t ancient then, but I needed two more syllables.)
  • It was a pyramidal building on top of the citadel.
  • It would have been in pretty good shape when she was put in there – later after the Greeks had finished with it it was in very bad shape…
  • jeeeeze mate if its not a standard brick veneerial av jennings ticky tacky house its gunna cost you a bomb
  • Moebius strip shape.
  • phallus
  • Pyramid
  • Pyramidal.
  • Pyramidical.
  • round
  • Round(ish)
  • star
  • The building was in the shape of a Trojan brand condom, ribbed with a point at the tip, so her prophecies would be as contained as semen and sperm (but, like a condom, her prophecy leaked out, causing as in real life a disaster, the spawning of a horse . . .).
  • The building? What shape was the building? You have here an explicit example of patriachial punishment, the unjustness of the modern society, the society of men and for men, detaining – nay punishing in a cruel and unusual and not even slightly scintillating manner – a fine, upstanding feminist, and all you care about is the shape of the pyramid she was kept in!
  • The same shape as a Klein bottle.
  • The shape of things to come.
  • Tower
  • Well, if you asked my lit teacher, he’d probably tell you it was phallic.
  • Very narrow with inward-moving walls …
  • Triangular
  • Pentagon shaped
  • Hexagonal
  • Seven sided, one for every day of the week
  • Octagonal – in anticipation of another another mare that was to be right many times in the 21st Century.
  • Polyhedral.
  • Cylindrical
  • Can I lock up other people who are invariably correct in a pyramid?

Question 3

Why do giraffes, chous (as in dogs) blue-tongued lizards and a few other creatures have blue tongues?


Neither Rose Love nor myself have any idea, but we were hoping that someone could enlighten us

Actual Answers

  • A steady diet of blueberries.
  • According to a sound file I downloaded, it’s because the blue scares predators. Though I have no idea how that’d benefit a giraffe….
  • And why do Boobies have blue feet?
  • Apparently because blue skin doesn’t get sunburned. This might explain the ancient British use of woad when charging half-naked into battle, though given the usual UK temperatures, maybe not.
  • Because the blue wavelength light is reflected. This would also be good sunburn protection as blue is up at the high energy bit.
  • Because their parents did.
  • Because, as Bill Cosby would tell you, they drink blue ink to make their mothers faint.
  • Being sentient and self-aware but lacking an opposing thumb, these creatures are forced to attempt written communication per medium of a tongue dipped in Quink. Not only does their tongue turn blue but it’s bloody impossible to understand their writing, so God’s plan for them seems a tad senseless.
  • Blue lollipops (blue popsicles to soothe sunburn being unnecessary)
  • Coz they’ve been eating lots of ice and their tongues are now frozen.
  • Do not question the wisdom of the Creator.
  • Everything tastes better on a blue tongue. Okay, maybe that’s not it. Apparently, if I took a nice trip to the Orana Wildlife Park in New Zealand, they’ll answer the question, but barring a grant from Dr Bob to pay those travel expenses, I’ll go with the next best guess I could locate, which is that they have greater blood circulation in their tongues.
  • Another transcontinental spelling dispute: I thought the dog was chow, not chou … ? [Only in Korea, tish boom]
  • Fashion?
  • Giraffes – because the blood struggles to get that high; chous – because they need to find a point of differentiation with samoyeds, according to Porter’s Five Forces of Competition; blue-tongued lizards – it would be pretty stupid to have a creature of that name possessing a pink tongue, wouldn’t it?
  • If I had to stick my tongue out all day in the hot African sun I’d want a blue one as well. It’s to help prevent sunburn.
  • If they didn’t, they wouldn’t be known as blue-tongued lizards, chou, giraffes, etc. Furthermore, you wouldn’t be able to ask this question, which would be non sequitur.
  • Increased circulation to the tongue, for most of these animals. In giraffes, their heads are so far up [like the boss in my last job] that they need high blood pressure so that they don’t faint and keel over, and that shows up through the thin skin tongue. Similar with blue tongued lizards, but it’s also thought to be a protective mechanism (the tongue can be more intimidating, and looks less like food). With chous, they need the high blood pressure to prevent them dying when they are strangled. (Have you ever been locked in a room with a chou? You’d know why then.) Which may be why this creature has a blue tongue:
  • It is thought to protect the tongue against sunburn (!) but I think it’s because these animals and lizards have a genetic predisposition to addiction to blue smarties and, over time and many generations have developed a genetic blue colouring to hide this addiction and the whereabouts of the blue smarties stockpiles. And thus, there is one more piece of evidence to refute creationism arguments.
  • My tongue is blue, I admit it’s true, But please don’t have a fit.My tongue is out the whole day through, And sunscreen tastes like really bad.
  • No taste buds
  • One source says giraffes have a blue tongue to protect them from sunburn. This seems like an odd explanation. Giraffe’s do have some fascinating anatomical details [such as the extra apostrophe] to prevent too much blood rushing to their heads when they bend their necks down, though. One source says blue-tongues have blue tongues to attract insects. This seems only slightly more plausible. Interestingly, albino blue-tongue lizards have pink tongues. Chous have blue tongues to make them appear even more ridiculous than they already do. The okapi also has a long blue tongue. Given the animal’s colouring, it looks like it could even be for camouflage reasons. Personally, my guess is that it’s to do with blood supply, random genetic drift, possible camouflage adaptations, and some very unnatural selection.
  • Presumably it is because a black pigment is present in the tongues, although the old chestnut about this being to avoid sunburn sounds a bit far-fetched; if it’s not a pigment, then since giraffes and blue-tongue lizards are from hot climates, it’s possible that their tongues are blue from consumption of those alarmingly artificially coloured blue icy poles or sports drinks. Certainly my eastern water dragons are very partial to blue ‘jelly belly’ jelly beans (don’t ask).
  • Protection from the sun’s rays.
  • So their tongue doesn’t get sunburnt easily. I guess their tongues spend more time out of their mouths than in.
  • So they don’t get sunburnt tongues
  • Some people claim it’s to stop them getting sunburned. Interestingly enough, Blue whales don’t have blue tongues…
  • The blood vessels are arterial.
  • Their genes predispose them toward blue tonguedness.
  • They aren’t really, it’s a reflection off of the sky, this is proved by looking at them at night without a light source, as their tongues are then shown to be black.
  • They eat blueberries
  • They have blue genes, babe.
  • They have blue tongues because of the pigment in the tissues! Theoretically it is to avoid sunburn?? Of course Chow people will have you believe their dogs got a blue tongue from helping the gods paint the sky …
  • They spend so long with them sticking out in the sun that they have to be blue or they’d get sunburnt.
  • To allow hot water to taste cooler
  • To prevent sunburn – cheaper and easier for them than white (or blue) zinc cream
  • Well, OBVIOUSLY it’s a pigment of some sort (grab a bluetongue and look at its tongue sometime), I just have no idea what the evolutionary advantage in developing a blue coloured tongue would be. If it was blue feet, or a blue crest, or some sort of signalling strategy that could be used to impress the wimmenfolk to increase reproductive advantage (in the same way that a peacock’s tail impresses a peahen) I could understand it, but blue tongues? Unless giraffes have a hitherto undescribed mating behaviour where they wander about the plains pulling faces at each other in the mating season, I can’t figure it out.
  • Why do you like tanned girls? It is the same. Giraffes are not only tall, most of all they are slow-eaters: and the colour is to stop the tongue from being sunburnt when eating out. Slowly, please.
  • Why not?

Question 4

What size is German bog paper?



Other Answers

  • A6 – same as postcards and guess what: the side to width ratio is approximately 1.4142 a special number.
  • A6 is used – why this is, is a mystery to me. Germans are not known for having little backsides! (although from a country that has cars named after paper sizes – A4, A6 etc. anything is possible)
  • A6, a nice ISO standard size.
  • About 15 acres. But today only, you can get 15% more for free at the same price!
  • About 6cm by 6cm, which approximates to the cross-section of the average Teutonic turd. Very efficient, those Germans.
  • About the size of a log, bog!
  • As in bum scrape? before or after faecal removal? after…it rapidly breaks down in the associated water to become a maccerated suspension of fibres it eventually fills the available space by diffusion
  • Don’t know, don’t care.
  • Format A6, according to my research, which means a standard sheet is 105 mm by 148 mm, the same size as a standard postcard.
  • Germans just love poo. I don’t know why, but Deutsche jokes are always scatalogical. So maybe they don’t need it. (Hubby tells me that German bog paper is about the same as Australian bog paper.)
  • Gross (?) genug and depends how much you tear off the roll
  • Holy krap, what kind of question is that?
  • I would think that bog paper of any description should be unsized – sizing refers to the addition of a substance to affect the quality and properties of the surface vis a vis retention/repulsion of water and thereby the behaviour of different pigment media; any sort of sizing of bog roll would be expensive and certainly compromise the softness factor (I remember that from an art teacher’s lectures on Why Trying To Use Toilet Paper In Art Class Is Such A Bad Idea – Mr Piggott on the subject of toilet paper was almost as entertaining as the physics/chemistry teachers’ civil war). Maybe it’s a German thing, maybe they like a bit of rough toilet paper, hang on, I’ll ask our resident kraut….. okay here’s the official German answer as to the size of German bog paper: “Whatever size is the cheapest when we go shopping, with the proviso that if the four year old comes along there must be puppies or elephants”. I’m pretty sure he means pictures of animals printed on the paper! – not actual puree de heffalump added to the pulp during production. Although we’re talking about Germans here, and they can be so literal, so maybe I should keep an open mind.
  • In memora of the kicking in the butt the German people have endured so often over the years, their bog roll has been sized and sanctioned by international foot-wear firm “Asics”.
  • In the public conveniences anyway, they are little tiny squares of barely absorbant paper, which disintegrates on contact with liquid. Which is pretty much the same as in Australian loos. However I take it that it is smaller than American toilet paper, and you can draw any conclusions from that you like.
  • ISO standard A6 paper size. We Europeans do like precision and standards, in important life facts like these.
  • It depends upon the German and, of course, the bog.
  • It doesn’t exist. They just pull up their pants and keep walking. Ever wondered what the smell was?
  • It’s A6 size.. 105mm x 148mm. About the size of a postcard.
  • Narrow (often A6), three-ply, rough, and occasionally published in book form for the casual reader.
  • Never big enough
  • Normal size.
  • Not quite big enough to administer to your average German arse. Inadequate karzi paper is universal but relevant to each nation. Mind you, who gives a s**t?
  • Remnants of Viking-era ‘leg wraps’ made from thin cloth, recovered from bogs in Hedeby, Germany, are between 7.5 – 100cm wide, and around 120cm in length. Sheesh, is that even vaguely close??
  • Ridiculously small so that it doesn’t block the view (after all, they have that little shelf there so the view must be terribly important).
  • Roughly A6 size, or the size of a postcard. They can’t afford to pulp anymore of the Black Forest and German hotels only have to provide one source of paper then for notes, postcards and… errrr… ummmm…. ablutions.
  • Slightly wider than German “bogs” (hopefully).
  • Small
  • The size of the closest local bog of course.
  • They don’t use it, but Scots use an old postage stamp
  • To pack my own I always strive,(So my answers is centimeters 11.5),To use the German would be a farce,For it would surely scratch your body rather uncomfortably.
  • Trick question–there is no such thing as German bog paper.
  • Well, according to the websites I looked at it’s thinner than the American type and a lot rougher.

Question 5

What is someone talking about if they say “The notes were sour because the stitches leaked”



Other Answers

  • Dear Joseph, I’m sure you understand the rancour of my previous notes. I must say though my anger has not been diluted by the fact that your doctor confirms you did indeed have a vasectomy. And I must insist you discuss the matter of supporting the child with me regardless of the fact the stitches leaked. And no I don’t think anyone will believe this “virgin birth” idea of yours. Yours, Mary
  • 1993 California Chardonnay in a goat-skin backpack.
  • A bagpipe (fairly sour without a leak)
  • A bagpipe player
  • A completely untranslatable, meaningless, 12th century Azerbaijanian epigram, roughly equivalent to ” Ah, yer fadder’s mustache!”
  • A piano accordion, a harmonium, or Barry Manilow
  • A recipe for some unholy hybrid between music and medicine that even between itself is probably more rational than chocolate/chilli flavoured biscuits, which actually do exist, unlike the aformentioned recipe.
  • Auld lang syne
  • Bagpipes
  • Bagpipes are funny enough in the US without a poem to accompany them.
  • Bagpipes!
  • Bagpipes. Although the thought of the bag component of bagpipes being full enough to leak out of the seams is somewhat disturbing, and probably the essential part of some pagan Gaelic festival…
  • Bagpipes. But really, the notes are sour whether or not the stitches leak …
  • Bloody bagpipes, an “instrument” that should be banned by Geneva Convention (or any other convention for that matter, maybe by a Rotary Convention or even a Skeptics Convention).
  • Clearly not bagpipe music, because the notes are always sour.
  • Could be cheesemaking? [Nope. Bagpipes]
  • Cricket. Well, I an not really sure about that, but I imagine that cricket players could safely say something similar and believe they’re saying something meaningful ….. Note, sour, stitch, leak … damn, Bob… how can I hope to win this quiz if I have to look in the dictionary just understand the main meaning of this words? Not to mention the secondary, perhaps trivial other meanings. I am tempted to put up an Italian Dottor Roberto Quiz full of funny ancient word ticks, and to force you to partecipate.
  • I suspect it relates to bagpipes that have a leaky bag and sound like crap.. but how do you tell the difference.
  • It sounds like the howling of a new mother seconds after her episiomity wound came loose. (Sorry)
  • Milk.
  • music
  • Och Aye the noo. Yer bagpipes, may need a little seenin’ to. Or maybe it’s the kilt?
  • opera
  • Phone a friend
  • post prostate removal reconstructive surgery
  • Q. Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A. To escape the music!
  • That terrible, harrowing quiz question that Dr Bob once asked… For that is all it relates to.-
  • The person has had a tracheotomy.
  • The reasons why they drink
  • The soup was off
  • The way the lemons they had in a bag in their wallet soured the taste of the banknotes when the person sat on their wallet.
  • Their beloved bagpipes.
  • They’re just having a whine.
  • Those bagpipe players are always making excuses for those horrid sounding instruments.
  • Well, all the sour fluid leaked out of the bag, onto your note paper making it stink, so it’s a perfect excuse not to hand in that work.
  • Wine. Or bloated bodies in bags. Either or.
  • While at first glance it might appear to be about bagpipes (although there is a school of thought which claims that ALL bagpipe notes are sour, I don’t agree with that), it is actually a translation from the review in the Icelandic newspaper Morgunblaðið of the very little-known Zen musical collaboration between Captain Beefheart and Philip Glass entitled “The sound of one hand stitching”. During the course of the first performance in Rejkavik an inferior brand of thread was used, resulting in a noticeably sour note being obtained. The stitches leaking was actually a mistake in translation and should have read “the stitches failed”.

Question 6

These are OMON troops (Russian Black Berets – crack counter-terrorist troops of the MVD). Why should you not look at them in a mirror?


If you looked at them in a mirror and they had their back to you, you’d see the word HOMO (OMON backwards in Cyrillic letters) written on the back of their uniform. Of course seeing this would make you laugh and point, which would lead to you getting smacked around by an angry Russian soldier.

Other Answers

  • Because it means….HE’S BEHIND YOU!!!!
  • Because it would be a bad omon. (boom, boom.)
  • Because of their long, snaky Medusan haircuts
  • Because the reflection you see will be yours and you’re liable to shoot yourself.
  • Because their Russian Acronym is STNUC.
  • Because then you would have your back to them
  • Because they are all vampires and won’t show up in mirrors; by the time you find this out, it’ll be too late and they’ll jump on you and suck all the blood out of you. (Actually, I’m hoping that you’ll tell me that the cyrillic acronym spells out a really childishly rude word if you look at it in the mirror.) [Eulalia!! Your wish is granted]
  • Because they are vampires with non-symmetrical faces.
  • Because they don’t appear in mirrors? Because they do appear, but looking at the reversed image reveals that they are aliens?
  • Because they would then be “NOMO spoort fo eht DVM”, and that would be just too too embarrassing.
  • Because they’re computer game characters and the reflection would just be odd.
  • Because you’ll turn into a feeding tube.
  • Coz they’re so ugly they’ll break the mirror.
  • Given their reputation for brutality in the achievement of their missions, clearly it is not wise to look at them at all, and the psychological distancing achieved by using a mirror will not remove the physical experiences you may have if you get that close to these troops.
  • I suspect most macho elite commando types would prefer not to be seen as HOMO-sexuals (you have to feel sorry for the Russian alphabet!).
  • I would have to get a longer monitor cable and carry this my monitor into the bathroom and if water got on the monitor I’d have to go get a new one.
  • If you looked at them in a mirror,You would die rather quickly I fear.For unless your learning was quite quick,It would be hard to move them with a joystick.
  • A black cat will eat you
  • In Russian, “OMOH” on their badges. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Just don’t let them catch you smiling at it. Especially in a mirror.
  • No need to induce paranoia
  • Not a chance of knowing since the picture isn’t displaying in my browser 😦
  • The US Military has a policy of ‘Don’t ask; don’t tell’. The Russians, it seems, ensure their crack troops are the exact opposite of HOMO…
  • These troops are recruited from remote villages in the depths of the Carpathian mountains. Used exclusively for night operations, they leave no reflection in a mirror. Although initially very effective, their opponents developed a form of chemical warfare based on garlic spray which has effectively limited their field of operations.
  • They’ll shoot you
  • This is quite a politically uncorrect question, Dr.Bob. And also a bit malicious. Yes, I do know that OMON, in cyrillic alphabet, looks like OMOH. And yes, I also know that at the mirror this would be reversed in a glamourous HOMO string. But now tell me: Is it better to see those guys at the mirror, or to have them quite frontly, with the round holes of their guns directly ortogonal to your nose? I choose the mirror, no doubt.
  • Well the obvious reason would be that they have been trained to think anyone who looks at them via a reflection is trying not to be observed and therefore an enemy, however the real reason is that they are all vampires and don’t have reflections, and they can burn out your retinas with their laser eyes. In fact, so deft are they with their eye muscles that they can literally trace their names, permanently extinguishing those rods, so that every time you open your eyes, you see their tag.
  • With a motto of any mission, any place, anytime and the strategy of strike first I’d darnwell make sure I’d keep my eyes averted! Although, to put another spin on it… OMON in Russian is OMOH… and the mirror image of OMOH is HOMO and by god I for one don’t want to be shot (or worse!) because I got a fit of the giggles at the wrong moment because I saw the insignia in the mirror and I knew it wasn’t mardi-gras time nor auditions for the Village People!
  • You can’t anyway, they’re evil and have no reflection.
  • You can’t see them in a mirror (They hate garlic too)
  • Objects in mirror are closer than they appear.


  • “You can take my freedom, but you can’t take away my apathy” – Jeremy, Zits Comic
  • (Q1) In civilised England, lads are normally de-handed! (Q2) Isn’t spherical. (Q3) Transfers heat efficiently. (Q4) Wilhelm ordered really large Dante-esque squares. (Q5) Bagpipes – easily satan’s tools. (Q6) Maybe underneath…”showers in clothes”? Sure, makes no sense now. But take the first letter from each word to make a new sentence! [Ah yes … smnsn bttfl few tmans … the Icelandic for “What ho, time for tea”]
  • 3 words end ‘shion – cushion, fashion, and ???
  • Are you the REAL Dr.Bob, Dr.Bob? [No. I am an alien being that has been substituted for the real Dr Bob. But surely that makes me the real Dr Bob now?]
  • BuhBuhBuhBob! BuhBuhBuhBog Paper! I’ve never heard that term before today, here in BuhBuhBuhBoise, Idaho. Thanks for the enlightenment.
  • Dr Bob, I got this email this morning – “What’s worse, the similar medicalament worths a lot more if it is marked. Thats how come ought you donate much especially while you may receiving the likewise drugs at a much more very cheaper worth? Contact Doktor Bobb for values added.” At first I thought it might be spam but then I realised it must be a very subtle quiz question. Can you please post the answer for me as I have no idea. [Ah well Tony – you need the Idea Pills, $49.95 a box. Incr3ase the size of y0ur Braln!!]
  • Dr Bob’s quiz… proof that cold alcohol and quiz questions can make the mind function at levels hitherto unknown to contemporary science but correctly identified by the medicos on Star Trek and exemplified by Sgt Detritus of the Ankh-Mopork Guard.
  • Gee Dr. Bob not that hard to Google answers this month. I think I might have got a few correct for once. Disappointed there were no Iceland references though. Happy Easter.
  • Good luck and thanks for all the riddles. And I didn’t think you were serious about refraining from the Icelandic questions.
  • Greetings, Dr. Bob, from the USL, the United States of Lunatics.
  • Half hearted this month
  • Here’s your punishment – I will give an entry for every day after 1 April that you do not post the answers (or at least the new questions). Who, me? Impatient? Never.
  • Hmmm – tricky
  • Hurry up, you lazy doctor of boberology! It’s the 3rd of april and we don’t have the new quiz or even the quick answers up!
  • I didn’t feel like being funny with my answers. I thought getting some right was a big enough accomplishment this time. None of the images on the site are displaying though (I use Safari as my browser if that’s relevant).
  • I fervently hope I win!
  • I think that I suggested Q3 to you (do I get a bonus?) [Yes – another week in Broome] No internet access at the moment so answers are via books and/or pure invention.
  • I thought the quiz was really easy this month. But, as I found one website with fake information perhaps there were others and I fell into Dr. Bob’s trap. Try not to laugh too sinisterly at my naivety Dr. Bob. Can’t set you up for a comment much better than that, eh?.
  • If a man speaks in a forest, and no woman is present to hear him, is he still wrong?
  • Just another quick one to get it out of the way before Easter. I mean who cares what shape the building was anyway? [Well Cassandra probably cared. Maybe she wondered why her razor blades were getting sharper. Supposing it was a circular building and she wanted to pee in the corner? And think of the feng shui.]
  • Pretty obscure Dr. Bob! [How can you know that I’m pretty, if I’m obscure?]
  • Right, now for that Bex and a lie down.
  • SOooo, where’s Beaker these days?
  • Sorry, I just didn’t have the creativity this time.
  • Thanks for no pictures of naked ladies this month, and I’ll thank you in advance to have no more naked ladies pictures, period.
  • The unusualness of the return of the lack of alternatives allows for much in the way of freedom with ones answers. All is well.
  • These are hard. Get some easy ones for me. [OK: Q1 Who wrote Shakespeare’s plays? Come to think of it, that is not so easy]
  • WARNING: Intentionally concentrating and inhaling this quiz may be hazardous to your health.
  • Well, my birthday’s on the 14th (turning 17) so I thought I’d better ask you to come to my birthday party. That’d make two people! 😀 Seriously, though, you should’ve made the quiz a mite easier as a birthday present 😦
  • Where do I find the answers?
  • Why won’t the new Skeptics site let me print out my answers as used to be the case? Because there’s now even more delay between sending in my tripe and seeing the results, I forget what I’ve written and have no record (not that the warp of history would be much affected, I fear). And it’s no good printing this page before hitting “send” because not all of each answer is visible in the little windows. In fact, the whole site is less user-friendly than it used to be. Sigh.
  • Yes, thank you. I hope I understood the spirit of the exercise. . . A little.