Answers for March 2001

I haven’t got time for more repartee because today (April 1) is my special day. The WINNER this month is

Roger McEvilly


Question 1

(Apart from the needle) the pop singer Boy George was injured by what object?

Answer

“It would have been both ironic and glamorous to be finished off by a four-foot glitter-ball”. Boy George was knocked over when a 62lb mirror ball fell from the ceiling above the stage at the Bournemouth International Centre in Dorset, UK. He suffered severe bruising when the ball clipped his face and landed on his left shoulder after the wire holding it in place snapped. George told The Sun newspaper: “I have survived and I’m still here, although my back is aching like anything. It caught my ear, which is really sore as well.” [I would think so too – his back caught his ear?]

Other Answers:

  • Ewe
  • Fist
  • Hamster
  • Large phallic object
  • A bus [A good friend of mine is thinking of getting a job as a bus driver. I will put this possibility to him.]
  • Cucumber
  • Forceps
  • From the looks of him, he’s been injured by a few too many things. Hmm, is the apart from the needle a hint? Perhaps a cactus? [Now there’s an idea]
  • Gee! What object DID NOT injure Boy George?
  • His collapsing career as a singer.
  • His glittery balls dropped
  • His pharynx.
  • Indifference to his singing.
  • It can’t be the Loch Ness Monster because that is an animal, not an object, so I’ll go for a falling safe (or a falling grand piano) [Join the queue]
  • Make up that had not been properly tested on animals.
  • Poetic justice.
  • A Norwegian camel swinging on a chandelier from the ceiling of the Cow Palace in Los Angeles?
  • Starched shorts. Nasty.
  • The knife of the local castrator
  • The meteorite that contained signs of Martian life landed on him
  • The sidewalk, when the record company lobbed him out on his ass.
  • Well, one day in the shower, he slipped and… later at the Emergency Ward…
  • If one is to injure Boy George then money or any other resource is no object.

Question 2

Does Norway export camels?

Answer . . . . Woops!

Economically Correct Answer (also applicable to Parachutes on Crashing Aeroplanes)

Only when domestic camel production exceeds domestic demand and an overseas market can be found for the excess camels.

Less Recycled Answers:

  • No, or possibly yes
  • Occasionally
  • Yes
  • No
  • Possibly
  • Norway catapaults over 23,000 camels a year into neighbouring countries. They refuse to explain why.
  • Well, because you ask the question, the answer must be yes. But then you know we’d assume that, so the answer really is no. Except that you figure we’d know you would be onto our assumptions about your trickery, so the answer is yes.
  • Not very often, but I think their zoos have sent the odd one-humper abroad. [Yes, I was at a conference of zoo keepers on Ibiza once, and after we’d had a few drinks … moving right along]
  • Yes, there are camels in Norway – it’s a very dry environment, quite suitable for camels – and the Norwegians breed them, export them, and race them, too. Though I don’t know why they bother; they’re nasty, ill-tempered, smelly bad-mannered creatures that make disturbing noises. And I don’t like camels much, either….. <tish-BOOM>
  • “Only a Camel can satisfy me” – Boy George
  • Only those that can’t stand the cold
  • It is easier for a camel to pass through the eyes of Norway customs than a rich Boy George to be killed by a giant falling disco ball …
  • Geez, here you go again! What is it with you and oddly located animals? [See the JPGs on our “R” rated page] Now one might say the answer has to be yes to justify asking the question, but you are such a crafty bugger….
  • Yes, They make great strontium-90/yttrium-90 sources
  • Yes they do, hence the annual celebration of the Trondheim Camel Dance and Parade. Every year the young men of the village line the streets waiting for the parade to pass then after the parade they run down and get a lovely young camel for their evening companion. Of course they run quickly – you wouldn’t want to get an ugly one.
  • Yes, after importing hippotamoi from Hungary, they are genetically converted to filterless American fags (cigarettes, I mean!), shipped to Hungary, where the cancerous tumors grow into hippotamoi . . .
  • Brisk trade with Hungary, camels for hippos.
  • Norway would be the last place anyone would need a camel – it just doesn’t seem right, after all who would go to see a movie called “Sven of Norwaybia?”
  • Yes, they capture lemmings and sell them off as desktop camels.
  • What do you mean? Bactrian or Dromedary?
  • Of course. Norwegians will export anything that spits [barbecues, for example; and isthmuses]. They find it rude.
  • Not, according to Stats Norway, unless you count the “Camelia” plant or “‘Camel-back’ strips for retreading rubber tyres”
  • Not intentionally, but they’ll stow away on anything to get out of there.
  • Sure, to keep up their image as oil sheiks. That’s also why they have to kill off half their wolf population.
  • Yes, or you wouldn’t be asking. (unless this is a trick trick question.)
  • NO (r) WAY!

Question 3

In Iceland people bathe in the famous Blue Lagoon thermal pool. What is the pool heated by?

Hot Answers:

  • A bar fridge
  • Camel faeces
  • Energy
  • Err, warmish thermals?
  • Kinetic energy
  • A nearby volcano
  • The Sun
  • Install a Rheem….Install a Rheem…..For the hottest of hot, hot water you’ve ever seeeen, etc etc. [Are you going to just LOOK at the water, or what?] It can’t be geothermal or you wouldn’t have asked! But then again …
  • Geologists in thermals apparently. I presume they burn them.
  • All the people bathing in it.
  • The locals burning Björk Guðmundsdóttir in effigy (for drawing attention to centuries of inbreeding).
  • Beneath the famous Blue Lagoon are the equally famous gigantic vats of geothermally heated chicken soup.
  • It was created by run-off from the Svartsengi power plant, which pumps up the geothermally heated water from a full mile below the surface.
  • The blue colour comes from the bodies of the poor fools who actually believe that the water is heated. It is heated by the bodies that are in the water. In order to get the temperature up you require a large number of bodies. Always a good idea to remove the dead ones as they add nothing to the water temperature, but do add a wonderful blue/purple colour,
  • Decaying algae/seaweed/Martians/insects/Garden of Eden/Cthulhu/remains of London bus
  • By heat rising from the depths where sceptics and other sinners bathe in lakes of burning sulphur.
  • Super heated water from below.
  • I dunno, but I’m gonna take a wild guess and say decomposing manure.
  • The Blue Lagoon is a pool of run-off water from a nearby geo-thermal plant. So I guess it’s heated by the gravitational stress on the Earth’s inner bits.
  • The rapid random motion of molecules.
  • It’s supposedly a natural geothermal pool, but I reckon the tourists just pee in it.
  • The body heat of the people bathing. The first ones into the cold, empty pool, are doing a great favor for the later bathers.
  • The second law of thermodynamics
  • Also, Iceland is one of only three places on Earth with geothermal stinky volcanic geysers [The other two being New Zealand, and Dr Bob’s spa pool].
  • Molten lava and superheated sulphurous gasses spewing through a fissure in the Earth’s crust, at a wild guess.
  • Friction generated by the frantic copulations of Christopher Atkins and Brooke Shields.
  • Geothermal energy is the official heat source but I think those hot Icelandic bodies might have something to do with it.
  • Burning Icelanders. There is only so much room on the little island and they have long cold nights so the population growth is exponential. To alleviate the chronic land shortage it was decided to burn all those over the age of 70.
  • Apparently it’s something to do with the run-off from an energy plant which is situated nearby…hmmm does this sound like a safe place to visit?
  • Electricity, for the tourists.
  • The big bang, ultimately.
  • Lava and other unmentionable things.
  • Probably a geothermal vent … or as I like to call them, Earth farts! (Hey, what are those bubbles in the pool?)
  • Iceland’s Blue Lagoon was created by the run-off of waste hot water from the nearby Svartsengi geothermal power plant. It’s that, or all the little blue green algae that give the lagoon its name are constantly having fast and furious sex, which heats up the water. Yeah, that’s it, non-stop X-rated microscopic full-frontal hard-core red-hot algal action, oooh yeah ….. um, no, sorry, sorry, ahem, I’ll go with the power plant run-off. <hurriedly wipes finger marks off the microscope>
  • It’s heated by waste water from a geothermal power plant. Of course, they only bathe in it if they’ve got several hundred krona to spare.

Question 4

What culture pervades the town of Intercourse, Pennsylvania?

Unlikely But True Answer:

Amish

Other Answers:

  • Americanism.
  • Christian morality
  • Cream Wheat monoculture
  • Decadent consumerism
  • Finger pointing
  • Pennsyvlania? USA? culture? hahahahahahahahahahaha… none Dr Bob, Dr Bob you are so cruel.
  • Them damn Amish
  • Intercourse, Pennsylvania is a centre of Dutch and Amish culture (and therefore probably a thriving illicit drug culture, if current affairs magazine features are to be believed). The Amish thing must be a bit of a disappointment to drunken school-leavers picking their end of year destinations with a suitably puerile teenage approach. (If Intercourse was invaded by drunken school-leavers, presumably the culture would change to chlamydia, gonorrhoea, herpes, or any number of STDs that can be cultured from irresponsible unsafe serial bonkers.)
  • Fnarr! Maybe the Amish were a little confused by their Berlitz Dutch-English dictionary when they wanted to translate the seemingly harmless name ‘Kruispunt’ (ie ‘crossroads’ or ‘intersection’…) into English. An easy mistake to make! Just like the time when, in my best schoolboy Dutch, I told my girlfriend’s grandparents how much I like birds (ie ‘volgelen’). They looked at me in a funny way and asked me something about great grandchildren. Imagine my surprise when I later learned that, in Dutch, the plural of the noun for ‘bird’ can also be used as a verb meaning to have ‘(…insert name of aforementioned Pennsylvania town here…)’.
  • Intercourse is the center of the oldest Amish colony in North America. [Actually it’s at the centre of many things, but moving right along …]
  • The culture of defensiveness about living in a town with a name that invites very bad puns.
  • Intercourse is the hub where the Amish and local folks fornicate and host thousands of perverts each year. The beautiful Amish farms surround the Village, which is located on the Old Philadelphia Pike (Root 340), earlier known as King’s Humpway, in Eastern Lancaster County. The Village stands erect as a clear reminder of traditional American hornitage as people live by a simpler way of life: be free, be nude and have lots of sex. Within walking distance of the Village, there are fart galleries, intercourse museums, floggings, camping [presumably with some sites AC/DC], educational opportunities in school uniform and the Pennsylvania Dutch taste sensations in local restaurants and specialty sex shops. Of the myriad of shops in the Village, a local B&B [? B&D] innkeeper has said, “I’ve noticed the numbers of our guests who arrive on the backs at the B&B simply excited with a purchase: a mask, leather goods, hand carved redwood dildo, a handcrafted item or a naked picture from a local artist!
  • All these tourists invade the place looking at the Amish people … so I guess it must be the tourists who are the pervaders (is there such a word as ‘pervader’ – if not, there should be!)
  • The Amish, which is why they are oblivious to the humor everyone else sees in the name of their town.
  • I am hoping it’s not “Culture Club”. Intercourse + Boy George = …eww!
  • A particular sect of the Amish that forbid the correct spelling of Pennsylvania.
  • Amish – part of the movie “Witness” was filmed here
  • This is one of the three main towns of Pennsylvania where one can see exhibitions of Pennsylvania Dutch culture and the Amish and Mennonite communities. All completely bogus of course, the real Amish and Mennonite don’t have petting zoos, villages or even churches- their life is centred around the home – the towns like Intercourse are where they go to trade with the “English” – their term for outsiders.
  • Religion, a love of intercourse, pick up trucks, duelling banjos, mining and weird looking progeny.
  • Tourism & trinkets of course. (No, not sex.) I had a friend went there a couple of years ago and came away with all manner of “I love Intercourse” stickers, posters, magnets, and other paraphernalia. Think what tourist bucks Australia could earn if we took a leaf out of their book and changed our name to Copulation: “The greatest Copulating country on earth”, “Come and enjoy the sights of Copulation”, etc.)
  • This town is only about 8 miles from my house. An interesting bit of geography … when driving west on Route 222 one can visit, in order, the towns of: Bird-in-Hand, Paradise, Intercourse and Smoketown. [Or one can stay at home]. It’s quite the joke around here, and there’s t-shirts for the tourists.
  • Talking with each other – they love to talk! (you didn’t think I was going to say the obvious did you?)
  • Speech-making. Intercourse, PA, was founded in the Nineteenth Century, and at that time the word “intercourse” simply meant communication.
  • The perversive, uh, pervasive culture of Intercourse, Pennsylvania, consists mainly of Amish farmers with bushy beards and their families walking around in 17th century togs, eschewing all modes of modern life including, but not limited to, dental implants, the Internet and Big Macs. They are not permitted to marry outside their religion, and those who break the rules are “shunned” and sent to live with ex-US presidents in Chappaqua, New York, where they are welcomed enthusiastically and encouraged to make large contributions to left-leaning political parties.
  • Intercourse is a quiet little Pennsylvania Dutch town, full of friendly folks who are quite happy to sell you postcards from Intercourse to send to your naughty friends back home.
  • Intercourse (hehe… I said “intercourse”) is full of the Amish and tourists.
  • Silly Mennonites! Sex is for humans!
  • The Amish people there use many different cultures for their sourdough bread, vinegar and yoghurt and probably ginger beer as well.
  • The Amish. Though whether they can be said to HAVE a culture, or would consider ‘pervading’ acceptable conduct I don’t know.
  • The culture of toe jam and athletes foot. Seemingly this is the Candida Albicans capital of the world.
  • I’ll give this question a mish. [Groan]
  • Several, including Escherichia coli, Staphylococcus aureans, Streptococcus and Amish.

Question 5

Where can’t you fight?

Even Better Than The Real Answer

I thought all warfare was forbidden. Shouldn’t it be?

The Four Places that are agreed on by everyone in various treaties:

  • Antarctica, (Antarctic Treaty of 1961).
  • The Moon (and other celestial bodies of the solar system, Moon Agreement of 1979)
  • On the sea bed
  • In space

Wow! – A Fifth Place That Dr Bob Really Should Have Remembered

  • Thingvellir, during the Thing.

Let’s Not Fight About This

  • Treaty? Bahh Humbug! If there’s oil there, we will fight to protect our god given right to drive gas guzzelling cars.
  • Antarctica and Switzerland? [On the contrary; the Swiss have to carry a sword to be allowed to vote, which is why Swiss women were disenfranchised until 1971]
  • Hockey matches
  • The poles. (Apologies to Danzig)
  • Antarctica, but in actuality, all the treaties in the world will not prevent mankind from waging war wherever he wants.
  • In the future and the past.
  • In the main and back bar of the Bricklayer’s Arms. The barman, Big Angus MacCall, will immediately relocate all belligerents to the car park and instigate an immediate kicking to all and sundry.
  • In the toilet and on the bus
  • The Holy Land… And that country ruled by devoted religious students: Afghanistan!
  • The Arctic and Antarctic – we don’t need any more krilling fields. [Aaarghh!]
  • Antarctica -too bloody cold for any self-respecting army to fight there anyway. Except the Canadian Army, which bivouacs in the permafrost as a matter of course and would probably enjoy an Antarctic stoush if they could locate a like-minded opponent. The second place is the Moon, although the treaty would be torn up immediately if future lunar explorers uncovered either aggressive Moonians or a large black rectangular obelisk on the dark side…
  • Embassies and UN compounds. Get thee to an embassy!
  • Preferably, at my house.
  • The international border in the Andes Mountain between Argentina and Chile, where the “Christ of the Andes” statue is located. A and C have promised to never go to war with each other (though they came close in the dispute over the Beagle Channel islands–His Holiness had to lend his good offices to keep them apart).
  • Antarctica, and the lounge room – that last one was enforced by something much scarier than the UN; I’m talking about the Rule Of Mum. Barbie vs GI Joe trench warfare in the backyard was not specifically forbidden, however the Dad Committee Of One imposed pocket money sanctions after we caved in most of the drain pipe ditches he’d dug. General Barbie’s brief flirtation with the use of chemical munitions in the form of poster paint bombs resulted in my being coerced into offering war reparations to my brother, despite the fact that inspectors knew that he had an active biological weapons program, i.e. Nanna found out that he was stockpiling dog poo. War is hell.
  • Antarctica and the moon. And if the AFL tribunal gets its way, all AFL venues can be added to this list.
  • Antarctica and the Moon. Also Jerusalem and Northern Ireland, but no one pays attention to any such thing as a treaty in those two places.
  • Antarctica and at my mothers house. (You can fight there but she gets really mad if you do!)
  • The poles – North and South. If you want to fight over the Blue Poles, that’s OK as lots of people have already.
  • According the “Treaty on Principles Governing the activities of States in the Exploration and Use of Outer Space, Including the Moon and other Celestial Bodies” (or “the 1967 Outer Space Treaty), which was signed by 91 countries and later reaffirmed by the General Assembly of the United Nations, warfare is forbidden in outer space and on celestial bodies. As this treaty was based upon a treaty dealing with the exploitation of Antarctica, I would suggest that warfare is also forbidden there.
  • Space, cos no one can hear you scream making it damn hard for CNN to capture the gory details of young men screaming for their mothers. Antartica, cos its so cold you don’t know when you’ve been shot, because bits are always falling off. Although CNN does love the images of the red against the white, beautiful contrast. Of course all those penguins falling over due to the jets passing low overhead is too good television to pass up.
  • Under a limbo-dance pole. Trust me on this.
  • In a small room by yourself
  • Surely nowhere is sacred when it comes to a bit of biffo!
  • Antarctica and the school playground
  • In the back seat of the car with your siblings, or else there won’t be any ice-cream for *anybody*.
  • Antarctica and the Vatican – two wholly inhospitable places.
  • City Hall. You know, you can’t fight city hall. Also…you can’t fight in the War Room. You can fight The Law, but the Law’ll win. Also progress.

Question 6

[Statue of angel up a pole, with crucifix) Where’s this?

Correct Answers:

  • In a rather polluted place with Christian disposition, obviously.
  • St. Petersburg – outside the Hermitage Museum, in the square where the 1905 uprising occurred.
  • Up a plinth thomewhere, obviouthly.
  • About 150 feet in the air.
  • It’s at http://www.skeptics.com.au/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/quiz200103q6.jpg
  • I dunno
  • You could have made that a colour photo [No … when I took this picture in 1970 with a Kodak Sportsmaster, I used Kodak FP3 film bought in bulk and I processed the film myself. I couldn’t even afford commercial film processing at the chemist – and I certainly couldn’t afford colour film. Colour film!! And I suppose pigs might fly, and the Berlin Wall might come down.]

There’s Always At Least One Answer Better Than The Real Answer:

  • Oh my god. Please woman don’t jump. Don’t Jump! Think of your husband. Ohh, he ran off with your neighbour. Think of your children. Ohh ones a hooker and your son likes boys. Think that suicide is a sin against the Catholic Church. Ohh you’re a Protestant. Then jump then, you heathen.

Alternative Locations

  • Amalfi
  • East Timor. Notice how the angel also carries a brolly for the wet season.
  • Eely cathedral. Who wouldn’t recognize the famous statue of Saint Confusious?!
  • Mons
  • Munich
  • Turkey
  • Venice
  • In Italy … somewhere?!
  • In the Andes Mountains–it’s the Christ of the Andes statue.
  • Obviously it’s atop a stone pillar! Actually it’s familiar, old chap, but I just can’t place it. [No need – the stonemasons have done that already].
  • In Dr. Bob’s backyard.
  • The other end of your pencil?
  • I have heard of angels on a pin-head, but this is a bit over the top.
  • It’s the local street sign in Intercourse which points the way to Paradise?
  • It is located in Europe, the Americas, Australia, or outlying islands thereof.
  • It’s above Mel Robson’s famous ESB homebrew shop. We put it there to throw the wives off when searching for us
  • “this” is a word that will appear, generally speaking, somewhere between “thirty” and “thistle” in most English dictionaries.
  • Tattooed on my arm. Your meticulous research knows no bounds. [Not true! I stop researching at the waist. Well, usually.]
  • I thought I had it this time Dr Bob, – all questions answered before breakfast except … The infamous Bonus Question!! Bonus for who? Not me or my wife… She has dragged me through most of the churches in Western Europe big enough to house this thing but neither of us could place it. So you get another smartarse answer cos we don’t have a clue.
  • This is Nelson’s Column in Trafalgar Square, London
  • It’s a new design/disguise for a mobile phone aerial (my even more serious guess)
  • My SO reckons it’s the Angel Islington in London. [Rent $120 undeveloped, $550 with a hotel and $2,000 with archangel up a pole. Oh bugger look at this – Make General Repairs on All Your Crucifixes]
  • The marketplace of Rouen? Well it looks like Joan of Arc to me.
  • Reykjavik. The picture is blurred by volcanic smoke and steam.
  • Batman, climbing the steeple in Gotham City.
  • One of the most regular stalacmites in the world, found in a small cave in Tasmania.
  • Probably on top of a church called St Michaels or St Gabriels. I doubt that the tower is a minaret.
  • Probably Pennsylvania USA – it has neither culture nor taste.
  • Auckland, New Zealand, and it’s a tasteful but not overly pretentious monument to their homeboy, mega-celeb, Russell Crowe.
  • Where’s what. I don’t know if you can’t keep track of your statues Dr. Bob, I’m not going to do it for you. For Pete’s sake, don’t tell me you’ve lost another one. Gees, you’re useless. Now we’ll have to make up a story to tell Mother.

SPECIAL COMMENT SECTION

  • Dr Bob, I’m sure I am not the only one to point out this rather small oversight but should the following – ‘The bonus 5th question with a picture is now a regular part of the quiz.’ – not begin with ‘The bonus 6th question…’
  • On the topic of the correctness of the quiz submission page, is the bonus question really “the bonus 5th question with a picture”? Wouldn’t “the bonus 6th question with a picture” be a more accurate reflection of the nature of the question? Surely the essential extraneity of the question relates to the whole quiz, and not just the 5th question. Ordinarily I wouldn’t comment on such trivialities, but it been “the bonus 5th question” for several months now, and I am no longer able to simply ignore it. If this continues much longer, I may not be able to contain my rage, and a swift and terrible retribution may take place. Or a letter to the editor. I haven’t decided yet.
  • Now, Dr. Bob, is it not time for you to give us one of your little apophthegms?
  • Hi [What an elevated comment]
  • If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
  • Not telling. [Oh that’s good – it can be our little secret. Or do you mean in the sense of “it’s not very telling”]
  • Trilobed squinch
  • I did a Google search to check on Norwegian camels and the second site listed was the quiz for September 1997. What’s with the recycling?
  • Thank you all so very much for the kind hospitality you all showed to Joe Nickell when he visited Australia. Joe is one of the best investigators (not debunkers) we in the USA have, and it’s great that your several groups hosted him around your continent. [Thanks. Actually we were very careful to send him back too]
  • Dear Dr Bob, I am a full fee paying student. I like your quiz very much – most enjoyable – I hope I win. My father is wealthy and may be happy to sponsor research into the questions you are asking.
  • What’s the deal with the easy questions? I already knew 2 of the answers! I hope this doesn’t mean my mind is getting trivialler…
  • Women. For God’s sake, they’re forever buying stuff. Now when you tell them to go and buy something instead of spending 3 hours looking for something that won’t work any, they refuse to go. Oh, it’s all too hard.
  • On average, how many people respond to these monthly quizzes? [About 60, but very few of them are average.]
  • Completely STUMPED me this month. A tribute to Bradman perhaps? [Yes – he died too]
  • I’m really missingThose excellent seventeenSyllable verses [- Then have a look at http://www.cs.cmu.edu/~dst/DeCSS/Gallery/decss-haiku.txt – It is beautiful]
  • I hereby nominate Dr. Bob for the recycled Camels award!
  • “Bother” said Pooh, as the elephant removed its trunk from his nether regions, so he could answer the door.
  • The camel question appeared in the quiz of Sept.-97. Don’t you remember all the previous questions?! [What, am I supposed to know everything?]
  • What has six balls and screws you once a week? Lotto, of course.
  • If the square root of two is ‘irrational’, does that mean the pythagoreans thought the hypotenuse was mad? [Well, the angles at its ends weren’t right. Boom Boom]
  • Sorry for the late submission, but I’ve spent the past day laughing uncontrollably at question 2.
  • I’ve got this rash I’d like you to have a look at …
  • I used to think Australia was really far away. Then I got on the Ross Peddlesden show. Funny how things work.
  • Can I win? Please? I like winning. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. [But medical science indicates that you should be all warm and fuzzy inside already]
  • Ka nui to ure! (Wave like a lunatic!)
  • I am trying to find if there is a page with other answers from previous questions as it would be interesting to read them… [Is there ever – just click on the links under the questions and the WHOLE BLOODY LOT will come before your eyes! What a time waster! The answers sent in are usually better than the real answers.]
  • As I was going up the stair / I met a man who wasn’t there / He wasn’t there again today / SO HOW THE BLOODY HELL DO I ASK HIM THE ANSWERS TO DR. BOBS QUIZ?
  • When I was young I never needed anyone and making love was just for fun. Those days are gone… I mean, sex is still fun – but I find it’s better when I’m not by myself.
  • How do you sleep nights? [They reduce the voltage so my brain stops overclocking. And they take the aardvark away. Then I can stop thinking of trivia and do some work instead. I can’t scratch on the walls any more, they put padding there]
  • IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the kelpie next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, by pouring a complete circle o
Advertisements