Answers for May 2005

H’mph. Questions too easy this month. But only one right answer to Q1, and to Q6; a good near miss from Rosie Love on Q1. I liked the joke about “a good grinding” but when I checked out the e-mail it was from Dave Hawley. Anyway this month’s WINNER is another case of an overdue backlog of witty entries to catch up on – At last let’s hear it for –

Victoria Laing-Short

The prize this month is not a week, no not even a month, but a WHOLE YEAR in Innisfail, Qld.

Question 1

J.Julius Joseph was a veteran Communist in the USA in the 1940s. One day, his landlord checked over his apartment and was mystified to find the lavatory seat severely damaged by burning. What had happened?


His spymaster would have said “Julius, I said EITHER burn the papers, OR flush them down the lavatory … Not both!”

Better answers:

  • Anus dragons. They’re God’s punishment for being left wing.
  • He heard a rumour that his apartment was going to be raided, and a comrade advised him to “Burn all your shit, man!”
  • He was trying to notify the landlord that he’d sighted the Armada, and that… what? Oh, sorry, that’s the next question. Sorry.
  • Mr. Joseph was the intended victim of an FBI assassination attempt. Explosives were attached to the bottom of his toilet seat that would explode when he sat down on it. Mr. Joseph, being a man, always left the seat up. The actual victim was an FBI agent who, like J Edgar, always squatted to pee.

Other Un American answers:

  • Accidents sometime happen when lighting farts, which was a popular communist agenda in the 40’s.
  • Although his communist cousins in South Africa some 40 years later can claim credit for perfecting the technique, Joseph’s fiery loo seat was the first known attempt, albeit amateurish, at necklacing.
  • An asteroid hurtling from space was set alight on entry to the earth’s atmosphere by some inconsiderate smoker who threw his butt out on it, and this hit the toilet. Amazingly it was undamaged, but the singe mark lives on to this day.
  • Being too proud to google, I have to guess. Julius, shunned by his comrades for having hots for Paulette Goddard, a stooge for the capitalists, committed suicide by placing a bomb in the loo. That goo in the ceiling was Julius. Naw. Doesn’t sound right…
  • Borsch vindaloo
  • Curry.
  • Gasses built up in toilet and friction or static energy set it alight.
  • He dumped gasoline and later flick a lit cig butt into it and then sat on it with metal pants on.
  • He got a message from the Soviets that said it would “self destruct in 6 seconds.” He thought the water in the toilet would contain the destruction. Darn wooden toilet seats.
  • He had consumed some of Karpal Tunil’s vesuvuis vindaloo.
  • He had eaten a “red” hot vindaloo the night before
  • He smoked lavatory seats. Didn’t you know that? Cocaine gave you more of a buzz, but he couldn’t afford cocaine. It did occur that he might have singed his pubic hair through some act of impropriety performed on the lavatory seat, but I did not want to be coarse.
  • I’ve had enough of googling your questions and only finding references to your quiz, so i’ll do what nearly everyone else does and bullshit. Let’s see, the seat was bugged by a very primative electronic listening device which overheated.
  • JJJ had had beans for dinner the night before. He followed it with a hot toddy. The result was a night on the can by a drunk fellow, who missed the drop and hit the seat instead…
  • JJJ was attempting to renact an episode of “Mythbusters” about the exploding toilet seat, and used way too much petrol for the experiment. Is that burning pubic hair I can smell?
  • Jungle curry …
  • Just a guess, but I bet the day Senator McCarthy’s police came to visit, he popped off to the loo for a smoke and burned a whole pile of incriminating documents (possibly using a little accelerant to keep them going) then flushed the ash. Either that or he smoked on the bog one time too many and “spontaneously combusted” (which isn’t particularly spontaneous, if the current theories are correct).
  • Match in toilet and aftershave lotion. [Depends on where you put it. Man in chemist shop: “I want some aftershave lotion”. Chemist, moving across to the next counter “Certainly sir, walk this way please.” Man: “If I could walk that way, I would not need aftershave lotion”]
  • Mr. Joseph had been receiving covert instructions from Moscow, and transmitted them to fellow Party members by scratching them on his toilet seat. When federal agents closed the net on his spy ring, he set fire to the toilet to destroy the evidence.
  • Ole JJJ (“Bugle Bum” to his mates) was keen on showing his solidarity with Mexican and Irish peasants and as such had given the chilies and Guinness a hiding the night before. The next morning he was suffering just a little and had to let a couple of boomers go in the privacy of his privy. This led to the scorch marks on the dunny seat. “And it burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire”!!
  • One huge bong. Is that even possible?
  • Probably tried to burn some papers and to flush the ashes (or still burning paper) – mistakes happen.
  • Someone had put one too many habaneros in last nights chilli.
  • Spontaneous communist combustion!
  • Surely we are not going to trot(sky) out the lame old story about blowing up the toilet with discarded petrol and a lit cigarette?
  • That isn’t so hard to guess. Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to smoke on the toilet?
  • The first documented case of SCC [Spontaneous Communist Combustion], although authorities now conclude that the explanation almost certainly involved a menage a trois comprising a cigarette, a match and inflammable gases.
  • The night before, he had consumed the hottest curry possible and forgot to lift the lid.
  • The previous night’s Laksa
  • This was due to the subversive practice of lighting farts. Whilst the rest of America enjoyed the possession of arms, Joe Mc and his mates made certain that those Goddam Commies were disarmed. What better than some Cuban spices, Chinese takeaway with tons of garlic and box of redheads.
  • Triple J lost his bond.

Question 2

At the time of the Spanish Armada, a chain of beacons was used to signal messages across England. What data rate could be achieved by this method of transmission?


Very slow – 40 minutes to send 1 bit, from Plymouth to Carlisle

Other Answers

  • Flame wars! 2400 bits per second?
  • “United Beacons: Next-day delivery of your message or your money back.”
  • 1 bit/day in information. (It’s lit, or not). 1 Britain/day (er rather night?) in linear speed.
  • 1 SINK (Spanish Information per Night per Kingdom).
  • 11 Mbps – or maybe I’m exaggerating…
  • 299,792,458 metres per second
  • 5 kph or so, depending on whether anyone was watching.
  • A burning question?
  • A touch under half a megamillibaudbyte.
  • Around 2 bps, but if Bill Gates had got to it he would have improved it by having lighthouses close their windows and re-open them again.
  • Better than my damn Celeron.
  • Bloody slow! After each beacon was lit it would take a while for the next beacon tenders to see it. Then they had to find a match to fire it up, and if it was raining…..bugger! In ideal situations they could get a crude message from the east coast to London in about two days.
  • Depending on the length of the message, flaming could be done extremely fast. “Help!!!!” Could be sent (with or without the exclamation marks) at several hundred miles a day. The football results would be a bit slower.
  • Depending on the sites you trawl through, either “faster than any horseman” or more precisely “600 mph”.
  • Depends heavily on the english weather.
  • Depends how 1337 the operators were
  • Depends on what was being burnt. Difficult to estimate the board rate, as it is modified by the plank constant.
  • Do we assume each signal is a bit, or does it have other information encoded (eg colour, intensity, image). Did the beacon maintenance officers work 24 hrs. Was there any system redundancy. How long did it take to light a beacon (or a match). How long to put it out (or did Boris just raise and lower the red hot cover), were the transmission duplex? I’d guess about 47bpd in premium conditions.
  • During the Armada of Spain Beacons were used in chains How fast did they go? I don’t rightly know. But I suspect it was slower in rain.
  • Fifteen miles to the galleon….
  • Forty minutes or so from Portsmouth to Carlisle, a distance of around 260 miles/410 km (I’ve only got a small map to work from), which gives us 6.5 miles or 10.25 km per minute; in 1588 the Navy was in fact petitioning Her Maj for funding to upgrade to broadband beacons – unfortunately for them, Liz I decided that since they managed to beat the Spanish (or the Spanish managed to defeat themselves, depending on whom you ask) despite the beacons only running on dial-up, that was a perfectly adequate technology, and they should stop whining for more electronic gizmos just because they were there and if Francis didn’t stop grizzling she’d confiscate his iPod and take away everybody’s Tomb Raider disks.
  • Given that the concept of data rate did not exist at the time – by definition – zero. However the beacons did allow for the passing of pre arranged messages. A lit beacon signaled “the Spanish are coming…pls stop playing bowls ( a variation of bocce ) and return to you ships for duty”…. “Capten, art tha sleepin’ there below?” But, to a trained observer the beacon transmission also contained information about the prevailing local atmospheric conditions, the fuel being used, the fire setter ” eee eye ooh arr ald Jim alwuz sets a big fire but young Jim now ‘e alwuz sets a neat little fire, but that there fire tonight that be a right big un that be the work of ol’ Sam he sets a propper big fire oh eye eee arr arrr”
  • I would assume that any messages would be second rate at best.
  • I’m not sure how exactly you transmit data by beacon, Dr Bob, but rumour has it that Good Queen Bess and Sir Francis (“Quackers”) Drake learned of the Armada’s appearance within minutes. It also is reckoned that the signal could go from Portsmouth to Carlisle in approx 40 mins (over 500kms). Depending of course on whether it was day or night, foggy or clear, raining or dry, the doziness of the beacon keepers, the presence of naked Icelandic female chess players etc etc etc
  • In the Lord of the Rings, it was just enough to kick Orc butt. So pretty fast.
  • Infinite. The speed of light was not scientifically determined in the 16th century, but it is theoretically possible to relay a message from Land’s End to John O’ Groats in milliseconds.
  • Instantaneous, because for something travelling at the speed of light there is no time at all. Do you not know of relativity, Bob?
  • It has been recorded that a message could go from the south of england to the north in 40 minutes. Let’s assume that it is a binary thing therefore we have 1 bit. Fires off, no Spaniards, fires on, Spaniards. So we get 1 bit per 2400 seconds or .0004166 bps. QED
  • It is believed that the chain of beacons could get a pre-arranged message from the south coast of England to Scotland in about 40 minutes. That’s a whole lot quicker than British Post. “Send reinforcements, we are going to advance – send three and four pence, we are going to a dance.”
  • July 19th, 1588, a day that will live in infamy. Commander Drake was in the middle of a game of bowls when he found out. He waited until the end. So my guess is the data rate is less than the time it takes to play a game of bowls.
  • Rates of a thousand quid a word (extra for words with “e” at the end).
  • Speed of light
  • The data rate would be inversely proportional to how many beacons were working at the time. Since very few of the beacons were fully functional it would be too difficult to tell how many actually transmitted any information at all it was impossible to calculate if any data was transmitted at all.
  • The Elizabethan beacon system could transmit exactly two messages: the first “The Spanish are coming!!!” and, second, “Help, my beacon is on fire.”
  • The message of the Spanish Armada got through in just a few hours (IIRC). The DATA rate, well it’s a simple signal, like binary it’s either 1 or 0, on or off, lit or unlit, etc. So I guess the data rate is 1 x however long it took.
  • Too slow as by the time they’ve sent “They are coming!” by lighting and extinguishing those beacons in Morse code the war was already over.
  • Well a chain of McDonalds made its way across England in about three years so we should presume a chain of beacons can transmit faster than a Big Mac.

Question 3

As the song goes, “Herr Mannelig, will you marry me … I will give the twelve flour mills that stand between Tillö and Ternö”. Is this a good deal?


Not really, Tillö and Ternö are islands. And according to the next lines, the grinding wheels are made of the reddest copper, with silver weights, so the bread would have tasted awful.

Other Answers

  • …Insert expected gag about pre-nuptial agreements and “a good grinding” here…
  • Don’t marry the girl, Herr Mannelig. Not unless she throws in a brewery or two.
  • A good deal for the mountain troll, maybe not so good for Herr Mannelig.
  • Apparently not: “Gifts such as these I would gladly receive If you were a Christian woman But I know you are the worst mountain troll From the spawn of Necken and the devil”
  • Clearly, because ‘Mannelig’ is an anagram of ‘mangle in’ and ‘ginn meal’, not to mention ‘align men’ and ‘gleam inn’, the answer is, inevitably, yes.
  • Depends if Herr Mannelig is into mountain trolls.
  • Depends on what you can get for melting down the silver wheels
  • Depends who’s asking. Gender, age, looks, intelligence, experience, wealth etc could influence evaluation.
  • For Herr Mannelig? I dunno, I’d give between, say, eight and fifteen flour mills. So I guess twelve is about right.
  • For me, yes. The nature of building construction and the remoteness of Tillo and Terno mean that I have to employ full time security, so rendering the production of flour uneconomic. Herr Mannelig can do what he likes with them.
  • Generally, any dowry is a good dowry, but it needs to be converted into standard units of monetary measure, i.e. pigs. Not knowing the flour-mil-to-pig exchange rate, it’s a bit hard to say, but let’s say it was 20 pigs to the mill. In which case we have 240 pigs-worth of dowry, which is substantial in any man’s language! Plus a willing woman thrown in – so I think it’s not a bad deal. Of course, there should also be a 3-year 30,000 loaf warranty on a good miller’s wife.
  • Given that the wheels are loaded with silver and that you get them before the wedding ceremony, yes. You could hire some bad ass mercenaries as bodyguards, get through with the wedding, expose her as a troll immediately after the ceremony, have her killed and spend the rest of your life on an island in the Caribbean, leasing for yourself instead of being bought.
  • Good deal, good schmeal, already, how could twelve flour mills be a bad deal, no matter where they stand. Phooie Dr Bob! I can see you’re not Jewish. No head for business.
  • Hell, no! Twelve flour mills vs a life full of grief married to someone you don’t love? And therein lies the myth of monetarism.
  • I have a 50/50 chance of getting this right. I will say no, because looking after flour mills isn’t going to be much fun. But then again, being married to a Russian singer isn’t gonna be much fun either… Specially if they’re mates with Bjork. Because we all know the Russians and Icelanders are tight.
  • Is it what!?! Twelve flour mills with brass stones and silver wheels!! I’d kill for those twelve flour mills! PLEASE ASK ME TO KILL FOR THOSE TWELVE FLOUR MILLS!!!!!
  • It depends on whether or not you turn the lights off before you kiss your sweety. Is marrying a troll worth 12 fine flour mills…. perhaps. We have the old fables where a princess kisses a frog and he becomes a prince. Maybe the same thing would happen if you marry a troll.
  • marriage is never a good deal
  • My parents used to work for White Wings Flour Mills (true) and they were shit jobs and the mills went broke, so I’ll say no.
  • no
  • no
  • no!!
  • No, it’s a lousy deal! Who wants mills that grind out flowers (Dr. Bob, you misspelled “flower” as “flour;” is this Australian)?
  • No, she had bad teeth, suffered from flatulence and expected her mother to move in with them after the wedding. However, sixteen mills would probably be OK
  • No. They were fine and brass with silver laden wheels but you still have to marry a troll, not a good deal.
  • NO. Love is more than 12 mills.
  • Only if you like “raising” flour
  • Proposed to wed with a slight cough,The offer was met with a scoff. “Ten flour mills are fine. Eleven, divine But twelve mills is just showing off.”
  • Prostituting oneself for flour mills is never big or clever, I clearly remember my mother telling me that.
  • Question here. Is Herr Mannelig the groom or the minister? Who are Tillo and Terno, and where did the blushing bride get 12 flour mills? Notice that the speaker does not say that she (he?) will give the mills to Herr Mannelig. Sounds like some sort of immigration scam to me.
  • Sounds pretty fair to me, having no flour mills myself.
  • Sure, why not
  • That would be a crazy idea. Everyone knows that Tillo is a portal to a world that is full of hideous monsters and that no living thing on this earth could survive in 10 seconds. Also anyone going into the area between Tillo and Terno – another portal also very dangerous where survival is possible but an alternate reality where a man must marry his mother in law and be good to her for the next 100 years. [Yes, actually my wife comes from near Terno] The danger of being in the location is huge and the chances of being sucked into either portal is high. Death or eternal marriage to mother in law are the choice for anyone crazy enough to enter that area. No amount of flour mills would be enough to go into that area.
  • Using google’s “I feel lucky” search I have deduced that Tillo was a saint kidnapped and brought to the low countries while Terno is a company which produces meat products approved by the EU. The distance between the two is difficult to calculate but taking everything into account twelve mills still seems like a reasonable dowry.
  • Well, the mill stones are made of brass (the reddest of), and the wheels are silver laden, which was probably a damn good deal back then (whenever then was?). But Herr Mannelig apparently didn’t think so, ‘coz he turns down the offer in a fit of religious bigotry.
  • What’s a bloke proposing to another bloke for?
  • Yes! I personally have inspected all these mills and found them to be in fine exponents of the art of grinding.
  • Yes. They are made of the reddest brass and the wheels are silver-laden. But a conventional diamond ring would have been just as nice if not somewhat lighter to carry around. I guess any bastard who wants to marry a troll spawn of Necken and the devil isn’t gonna go conventional.

Question 4

What distinguishes certain banknotes issued in Tatarstan?


No denominations are printed on them.

Other Answers

  • Just like every where else in the world, the poor people don’t have any, and the rich people do.
  • Anyone rich enough to have a hundred dollar bill gets his picture on it.
  • As it’s a Russian federation I would guess the picnic baskets that you have to carry them in to buy your loaf of bread would distinguish them.
  • Because the rubles were becoming increasingly worthless due to the hyperinflation in the former Russian states in the early 1990s, they were issued without denomination. (I am without denomination too, does that make me increasingly worthless?) [No – priceless]
  • Colour, picture and size, but not denomination because some don’t show one. Some are also uniface – only printed on one side
  • If they are like the ones in Mongolia, they have been made transparent by handling with fingers greasy with mutton fat.
  • Issued without denomination – I like that as it would make bartering so much more challenging
  • Issued without denomination – i.e. no numbers on notes
  • Lack of feathers distinguishes them from Ducks, Don’t swim (fish), no teeth (mammals, fish, reptiles..), Issed in Tartarstan (other notes), flat (balls), Not Icelandic.. should I go on
  • Let’s see, 100 ruble notes seem to come in various colours, are only printed on one side (uniface), and have no numerical or textual indication that they’re value is 100 rubles. Oh, and most have the same pictures, too. Damned if I know how they distinguish them.
  • Many may say it is because they go ta-ta so quickly, but that’s true of any nation’s banknotes when you think about it. No, the real reason is because certain Tatarstan banknotes are, for reasons of national pride, made from the country’s flagship export, cream of tartar. And it rains a lot in Tatarstan, so inflation is not a problem.
  • Many of Tatarstan’s banknotes are redeemable in goats (or scrawny dogs if the bearer so chooses).
  • Pretty colours and no face value
  • Size
  • Some have an image of a snake drinking from a drinking fountain. They all have an image of castle Suumbeky.
  • Some have no denomination marked, some are uniface.
  • Some of them are actually issued by a bank.
  • The banknotes in Tatarstan have specific pictures of Ghengis Khan with tartar sauce on his left cheek. The picture the designer was working from had a picture of Ghengis with said tartar sauce on his face and the artist was told to replicate the picture exactly as he did. The area of Tatarstan is the only area in the region that did not pick up on the strange picture on the currency and every since these banknotes were issued the state has been noted as the state of messy money.
  • The colour schemes and pictures; they have very little text, and don’t seem to have the denomination actually printed on them. They’re probably just playing with Monopoly money to humour some obsessed bureaucrat, whilst in reality everyone actually uses goats as legal tender the way they have for hundreds of years.
  • The flavour. Some use Tatar sauce; others have cream of Tatar as an ingredient.
  • The picture shows the heavy amount of tarter in Stan’s teeth.
  • Their serial number (there all different you know)
  • Their Tartare Source.
  • Their value.
  • They appear to have my lovable Ludwig Van imprinted upon them. That, and that they can be blended, and used as sauce for spring rolls. Buddum Cha!
  • they are a bit saucy?
  • They are circular? The spontaneously combust? They are made from dried cow-pats? They are CERTAIN as opposed to UNCERTAIN? Lesser notes are more equivocal? And what’s Tatarstan any way? Goodbye, Stanley?
  • They don’t have the amount printed on them
  • They don’t have the value written on them. You’re meant to be able to tell how much a banknote is worth by instinct. I’m assuming the reason for this is so that way when inflation gets bad, they can say “Okay, the red note isn’t 100 anymore, it’s 250.” and revalue their economy very quickly.
  • They have Legal Tender of Tatarstan written on them, but because they are distinguished, they wear a monocle and spats. (Where is Tatarstan? Anywhere near Dagestan or Kyrghyzstan?)
  • They have no denomination printed on them (given the inflation, probably a good idea).
  • They have none. That is, their distinguishing feature is their lack of digits to indicate value. Perhaps Mr Costello could adapt this idea to the Australian fiscal bottom line context at the end of the day.
  • They look like the stamps my grandpa’s senior bowling league used to give out. You could redeem them for discounts on dishes and such.
  • They were worth 1,000 times the value of the old ones. Best not to confuse them.
  • They’re made of clear plastic, the unit of currency being proffered is left up to the discretion of the user.
  • Who needs money when you’re swinging between trees anyway?
  • With no sense of irony whatsoever, the local treasury have seen fit to imprint the image of a goose on one of the larger denomination notes.

Question 5

Phil Jordan’s flagging career as a psychic has recently been revitalised (if that is the word) through psychic detective work. In what other ways could Mr Jordan assist in the investigation of a murder?


As Joe Nickell of CSICOP has pointed out: Mr Jordan was made an honorary sheriff’s deputy, and is also a licensed funeral director and ordained minister of a non-denominational Christian church. Potentially, he could help police find a missing body, secure the crime scene, supply a coffin, preach at the funeral, and give periodic updates from the person in the spirit realm.

Other Answers

  • By preventing the murder by prediction
  • By dying brutally and obviously
  • By investigating important murders like Jack the ripper, JFK or Batman’s parents.
  • As the owner of a hotel, he could accommmodate the suspects in one large room while a career detective determined the identity of the real killer.
  • Bugger off to the other side
  • By becoming a victim. Give the police some real time practice on a real corpse, instead of just a psychic corpse.
  • By being the victim (the police could do their work unhindered by psychics and receive their just reward for a job well done).
  • By being the victim. And the world would be a better place.
  • By buggering off and staying out of the cops way. And he can take that crappy Medium TV series with him… and that shite that Rebecca Gibney serves up too. Dr Bob, I beg you, save us from psychic detectives.
  • By committing a murder and then confessing.
  • By getting a job as John Edwards’ colonic irrigator. (Just imagine, Dr Bob, how these two psychic paragons could then solve those goddamn murders one after another after yet another. How? Well, as you would know, there’s sure a lot of synergy when psychics choose to get their shit together!)
  • By keeping the hell away from it. Especially from the poor families who get hounded by these nutters.
  • By removing his brain and feeding it to the magpies
  • By sharpening pencils for people with real jobs.
  • Clearly, by being the victim. Then again, there would probably be thousands of competing psychics rounded up as suspects, all of them insisting: “I know nothing about this, I swear to god!”
  • Errrr, he could be a victim.
  • Gathering all information true and correct information. investigate those who give evidence. If he is a true psychic he will know the truth.
  • Given the question I was hoping the answer was, “Confess.” But googling “phil psychic scandal” wasn’t productive. I guess the answer was that he went to the police academy. A more interesting answer comes from “” where it looks like someone is trying to start a comic book company. Evidentally Phil has super speed because of antigravity experiments, or growing up on a planet with higher gravity, or getting bit by a radioactive spider, or something.
  • He could admit to it.
  • He could confess to a few for starters….
  • He could do the criminal justice system a great service by keeping his nose out of it, or by giving the cops some real evidence.
  • He may commit one and subsequently confess. Wow! How did he know?
  • In 2001, he purchased The Gould Hotel in Seneca Falls, New York, and began offering “Psychic Dinner Floorshows” twice a week. In one case earlier in his career, five senior investigators reviewed his pronouncements, finding them not only vague but even contradictory and fundamentally useless. So the answer is, if he committed the murder, he could confess; that would assist in the investigation.
  • Jordan was made an ‘honorary sheriff’s deputy’, he’s also an ordained minister and a licenced funeral director. So he can help find em, conduct the burial service AND supply the coffin! Although I suggest that all psychic mediums would be of most assistance to the world if they were the actual murder victims.
  • Knocking on the doors of houses at random and asking the occupants if they have committed any murders, whilst having them hooked to a polygraph.
  • Licensed funeral director – after the event but practical
  • Mr Jordan is not only a great psychic but also has a secret life of doing psychic readings for the mafia. On one of his recent visits to the head of the mafia he was witness to a murder of a young man who had cheated the gang out of a good deal of money. He is in a bind with regard to revealing his knowledge to the police or keeping quiet due to his fear of the mob.
  • Mr. Jordan could appear as a re-enactor on a TV show like “Unsolved Mysteries.” Alternatively, he could sit in the corner and not get in the way of the real investigators, except maybe bringing them coffee.
  • Not be around, stop committing them, geez, the list is almost endless…..perhaps Jordan, who was made an honorary sheriff’s deputy for his efforts in the Tommy Kennedy case, is also a licensed funeral director and ordained minister of a non-denominational Christian church could help police find a missing body, secure the crime scene, supply a coffin, preach at the funeral, and give periodic updates from the person in the spirit realm! Refer :
  • Possibly by becoming the victim of one. He could then provide an eyewitness account from the virtual witness box. Judge Doris Stokes presiding. Uri Geller defence attorney.
  • Probably by minding his own business
  • Shutting his big mouth and not hindering murder investigations with his worthless “psychic insights!”
  • The best way Jordan could assist in any murder enquiry would be to not bother the police.
  • The most obvious would be to foresee the murder and then lock up the criminal first. The trial would be tricky but I’m sure PJ would be a star witness.
  • The police could round up the usual suspects and announce that Phil knows who the guilty party is. Then arrest the one who pisses himself laughing.
  • Well, being an honorary deputy sheriff, I suppose he could do mundane, of-this-world things, like direct traffic, secure the crime scene, call the coroner, notify the appropriate forensic science establishment, search for the weapon, etc. etc. etc. If he’s so bloody psychic, he should just contact the victim and take a statement. Personally I think he would be at his most effective in helping a murder investigation by standing in front of a surveillance camera while he was beaten to death.
  • I’m getting an “f”….. is it …..”f” off ?

Question 6

This is an area of land, a few metres across, in its natural state in the USA. In which state?


California. The land in the middle of the picture suddenly became a couple of feet wider than it used to be.

Other Answers

  • This is the remains of Kent Hovind’s DinosaurLand Theme Park in Florida.
  • Alabama. Naah – I thought I might scare you that I was really gonna submit the states in alphabetical order 🙂
  • Alaska, during the great drought of ’49.
  • An absolute state. No, wait that’s too obvious… Texas?
  • Are you asking ME which state I’m in? Geographically I’m in Queensland, physically I’m two sheets to the wind on a rather fruity chard and mentally I’m feeling pretty chipper. Thanks for caring Dr Bob.
  • Area 51 Nevada. It looks like Mt Ararat and I am sure that is the out line of the Ark.
  • As it seems rather arid i guess it’s either the state Iraq (abbr IQ) or the state af Afghanistan (Abbr ABCDEFGH)
  • As you said, It’s in its natural state (notice use of apostrophe)
  • Australia? (Ooo, er, no, maybe we’re not the 51st state yet, so that means I dunno. Sorry. Damn, I hate being wrong.)
  • Colorado
  • Dakota. The site of the “real” moon landing.
  • Everyone knows that there are no arid areas in the USA. This picutre was taken by aliens when they last visited earth several years ago in a bid to relocate from their dying planet. This picture was actually taken in the north pole – global warming has changed the land significantly. The leader of the aliens is a tyrant and has seen the USA years ago and is not aware of recent changes in the topography. The investigators decide it is not relevant where the shot was taken as long as it was on earth and to make things easier they tell their leader this shot was taken in California and not the North Pole.
  • Florida
  • Given the current administration and environment protection it could be anywhere.
  • Hawaii – it’s a sand-blown lava pipe, I’m thinking.
  • I question the site being in its natural state, with obvious buildings in the top left. Looks like Nevada to me.
  • In its natural state – you said that. Oh, you mean which US state – Petrified Forest National Park, Arizona!
  • It’s George Bush’s sand pit out the back of his ranch in Texas. Them Texans do everything on a big scale. You can see that Laura has made him put away the toys this time.
  • It’s in a state of desert-ness? Seriously, though, I assume the buildings we can see on the horizon at the left help us identify it. Unfortunately, none of my American aquaintences can identify it. One said it’s possibly New York, another said it might be in the mid west.
  • Its natural one you just said that. But I think it might be the same state as President Bubba came from.
  • It’s natural state duh. But since that will be 17 other answers I’m going to say an inert state. And just for luck, IOWA – it’s got the funniest name.
  • Its natural state, as you said.
  • Nevada
  • No idea, but this appears to be bad land, very bad lands.
  • One in fifty chance to be right… Looks like New York to me.
  • Pennsylvania
  • Please don’t distribute photographs which contain important military facilities in the background. It’s dangerous.
  • Same as the rest of the US a state of decay
  • Seeing the farm and knowing there are dunes in NW Nebraska, I’ll saw NW Nebraska. (Talk about giving the road team the advantage Dr. Bob- won’t this upset the paying members?)
  • Solid state, aka dry state 😉 Ok, Since I am from this area, it could be California, Nevada, Utah, New Mexico, or even Texas. Most likely it is Arizona.
  • Sunset Boulevard, Los Angeles, California after the afternoon rush hour. As it is in a natural state, it must be good for you. Or Utah or Colorado.
  • Texas, pardner. Around the Pecos. phht – ding!!
  • Texas. It’s actually the plateau at the top of Mt Ararat, Texas, and the real resting place of Noah’s Ark – refer to the vessel’s obvious shape and the prow slightly left and above the centre of the photograph.
  • That’s my native state of Kentucky (officially know as The Commonwealth Of Kentucky), and it’s totally strip mined land in Appalachia.
  • This is a trick question. If this land were really in the US, there would be a Walmart’s on it.
  • Utah? Honestly, buggered if I know. Just looks like a fossil type area, so Utah sounds good. It’s certainly in a state of dryness.
  • Washington dc
  • Wherever it is, it certainly looks a whole lot better than my back yard. It actually has green plants.
  • Wyoming.
  • Petrified.
  • Hydrophobic.


  • At last a quiz I could answer
  • Comment allez vous, Docteur Bobb?
  • Doctor Bob, I’m certain I got question 6 right – in one of my 50 submissions.
  • God Bless You Doctor Bob
  • Good questions Dr. Bob.
  • Hi Dr Bob, I’m back, but only briefly. I will not ask if you have missed me, my delicate mental state could not stand the caustic and frankly hurtful comments you would direct my way. The questions seemed easier this month, or have I missed something?
  • I have a theory that half the entries here are being written covertly on office time and the other half are being written by people late at night, half sauced on a fine drop of chard. I work from home so I can proudly claim to currently fit both categories. Can anyone top that?
  • I have the proverbial beef and I’m holding it hostage. I demand we negotiate both the possibility of William Shatner questions and the possibility of me winning this month. Said beef will be released unharmed but I will retain the proverbial love for personal reasons.
  • I hope there are other people out there that I can chat with about my experiences.
  • I knew the answer to Q2. Had to make the rest up.
  • I need some invigorating questions to generate some interest. Iceland is invigorating.
  • I think I love you. So what are you so afraid of?
  • I’d rather see pictures of environmental devastation, horrible as they are, than pictures of naked ladies. [Better still: pictures of devastating naked ladies].
  • If I cannot see far it is because a giant is standing on my shoulders.
  • If you think things can’t get worse, it’s probably only because you lack sufficient imagination.
  • Interesting mixture – thank you.
  • Just guessing again.
  • Long time reader, first time player. As it seems to be a custom, I’ll mention Iceland.
  • My quiz answers this month were brought to you by the letter C and the number 12.
  • Nice questions page – but it also raises the question: What does this have to do with skepticism? [I dunno, but show me some evidence and I’ll believe it]
  • Oh the joy of a Dr Bob quiz after all this time, Dr Bob! How have you been since last November when we last met? (sounds of violins – “Hearts and Flowers”) Mixed any good chemicals?
  • Please now be upstanding to sing Beethoven’s Ode To Dr Bob: Bob’s Quiz, Bob’s Quiz, we love Bob’s Quiz, Trivia for young and old, Who set fire to J.J.’s dunny, Just what was the landlord told? Did it start a chain of loo fires right across the USA, Signalling to everybody “Joe McCarthy’s on his way”? Bob’s Quiz, Bob’s Quiz, let’s do Bob’s Quiz, would you wed a mountain troll? Pay Phil out in Tatar loot if he spoke to a murdered soul?Iceland, Hitler, Titanic, Iceland, nude women, Iceland, blue tongues, chess.We love doing Dr Bob’s Quiz, Dr Bob’s Quiz is the bes[t]!
  • What fun! I think I’m going to enjoy this site.
  • Why? Dr Bob, why? What does it all mean? Tell us Dr Bob, please!
  • yeah I know……….. don’t say
  • You copped a bit of stick in the comments last month, Dr Bob. Harshly treated, I thought. I’m sure there’ll be better ones this month
  • You finally give me something I should know (picture question) and I don’t know it.