Answers for January 2001

The advent of a new millennium is now agreed by all of us (well, except Jews, Arabs, Incas, Romans, Chinese, Indians etc). The winner of my first post-millennial quiz, in which some questions at last had no correct answers, is the appropriately named

Win Fowles

Congratulations, Mr Fowles. You Win – Me Bob.

Question 1

In Iceland in Viking times, a Lawgiver was appointed for 3 years. One of his duties was to stand on the Law Rock at the annual gathering and recite the whole body of law. What happened if he forgot to mention a law?

Correct Answer

  • Since the audience had heard it every year, they all shouted the law at him and he said “Sorry, sorry, missed that one.”
  • Well he wasn’t about to say, “Oh bugger, I forgot something so you better dip my in whale blubber”. Instead, he kept his mouth shut.
  • As he was the only one who knew the laws, no one noticed so the law fell into not being used as no one knew it existed.
  • He could change or omit laws and if not challenged or reminded, the new version became the law. In this way a few dubious laws got enacted such as “The penalty for buggering a sheep shall be 30 marks (or 50 marks, depending on how ugly the sheep is) except if Bjorn the Hjorn does it”

Wrong Answer:

  • Then he would have failed in his duty to recite the whole body of law.

Much Better Answer (and I want a fee for the advice)

  • A smart Lawgiver would, quickly and confidently, declaim about repeals and then mumble in Latin before charging the assembled Hagars an outrageous fee for his expert professional opinion. By the time the noisome Nordics woke up to what was going on, the Lawgiver would be off on a 12 month paid sabbatical to Denmark.

Legally Correct (and Probably Expensive) Answer:

  • The sources below say that the ‘matter of neglect’ could be ‘taken up’ by anyone. Which, I suppose could mean anything from a snide correction to a duel. One other source also mentioned that the Lawspeaker was allowed to make amendments to the law. This being the case, any failure of memory could be rationalized as legal innovation.ORDERED ANARCHY, STATE, AND RENT-SEEKING: THE ICELANDIC COMMONWEALTH, 930-1262 by Birgir T. Runolfsson Solvason Since Icelanders had not yet begun to make written records, the Lögrétta chose a Lawspeaker, the Lögsögumaður, to memorize and recite the law. The Lawspeaker recited the constitution every year and all the laws over a three year period.Thingvellir – Inside the Godic Althing Lawspeaker had a salary from the Althing and he thus seems to be the only man rewarded in that way by the Althing. Even though the Lawspeaker was a most honored man, he was not excepted from the Law. There was a special amendment to the Law about his penalty, if he should neglect his office. “Anybody who cares could take up the matter of neglect” – this amendment said. The Law in this respect rested upon the assumption that human reactions were alive, not dead, and that people cared to do the necessary things.

Situations Best Resolved by Bringing 30 or 40 Mates to the Gathering:

  • He (or she) was forced to listen to non-stop Bjork until his (or her) ears bled.
  • Rock was tied to left testicle; right testicle tied to bedpost; rock pushed down hill.
  • He was forced to write best-selling sagas which usually hinged on a fine but irrelevant point of law, and which usually ended up on Oprik Winfreysdottir’s list of Saga’s to Read On a Long Sea Voyage.
  • He was made to go deep into the forest and bring back…A SHRUBBERY!
  • He was made to spend the next three years as Gary Abletts boot boy.
  • He was given the punishment for breaking that particular unmentioned law. [Nice idea but as they had all forgotten it, he got away free]
  • He got a spanking from his boyfriend
  • They would be sent to Greenland. But if they had paid attention to those climatologists mucking around up the back they would have realised that the mini-ice age was coming, and Greenland was a bad idea.
  • It ruined the scansion.
  • He lost his rocks
  • His wife was raped and his house pillaged. Those damn Vikings!
  • Hundreds of thousands of people all over the planet continued with their normal lives. People walked, people talked, people defecated, people copulated, people murdered, people made pasta out of grass seed and ate it.
  • That law was no longer in effect. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth. They might have killed him, just for good measure.
  • It was no longer a law. This caused some problems when the lawgiver in Voss forgot the law of gravity and the entire town flew off into space.
  • It would no longer be the law. Thus, it was very common for evil people to bribe the lawgiver to miss out laws for convenience, financial gains, etc. What’s amazing was that people could also add laws at the same occasion. So laws were dropped and added on and off all the time, and confused the heck out of all the Icelanders. By the way, the Law Rock is called a “Logbert”. Has this got anything to do with Dogbert? Hmmm…..
  • The law no longer applied. A similar thing happened to Newton when reciting his Principia – he forgot the bit on gravity and was badly bruised by rising apples.
  • Everyone had a good laugh and downed their ales, and he had to drink all the schnapps in his horn, fill it full to the brim and start the whole recital again. Which is why he was appointed for three years – that’s how long it took to finish this game. It was said that only one Lawgiver ever completed this task first go (and thus stayed sober). This was Sven the Brayne, forever after known as Sven the Boering Partipooper.
  • My guess: his entrails were torn off and given to the dogs.
  • Laws should only be made if they are necessary, they should be sensible, fair, simply-worded to avoid loopholes and enforceable. I don’t know what the Vikings did in such a circumstance, but for me, if the lawgiver was unable to remember a law, then I would put the law to a ballot, and it would require a two-third majority of the assemblage on that day to ensure that the law was retained. This would be one method of streamlining the body of law down to that which is necessary, sensible, simple and fair. [They had a simpler method: What law?]
  • The law would be null and void for the next year. After the gathering there would be a celebration of mead, grog and an orgy of breaking whatever laws had been accidentally omitted. Fun was to be had by all.
  • If anybody had a tape-recorder…he/she would record what the lawgiver said, and would commit exactly the crime that went against the law missed by the law-giver…
  • He became embarrassed. And had to start again.
  • No big deal. These guys were the original rockers. Everyone stayed cool.

Question 2

When the Hindenburg caught fire, the cabin boy fell burning from the wreck. How was his life saved?

Lucky Answers:

  • The boy stood on the burning deckHis hands from work were callus’dHis life was saved that fateful dayBy falling water-ballast
  • Luckily the craft was very close to the ground when the cabin boy descended. Equally lucky, a water-ballast bag collapsed over his head extinguishing the flames.
  • Well, his name was/is Werner Franz, at age 14 he was serving as steward for the officer’s mess. According to a highly dubious online sample essay for a crib service, a water-filled ballast bag, spilled over him.

Captain, Captain, It’s The Blimp:

  • The boy stood on the burning wreck,His heart was all a-flutter.”Good feng-shui will save me!” he exclaimed,And landed in the gutter. [But it wont save the scansion of line 3]
  • By a creation-scientist who rushed INTO the inferno (wouldn’t you just know one would?) and baptised him as he lay smouldering and screaming on the ground. And a lot of bloody good it did him too.
  • The poor kid was making beds at the time, and was able to Stop drop and roll in a sheet, while hastily fixing another sheet as a parachute with which he leapt clear of the fire, and floated gently to earth.
  • He made the ultimate sacrifice of not dying, causing him forever to be labelled as a survivor. Had he lived to see the show “Survivor” I’m sure he would have preferred NOT to have been associated with that label.
  • He quickly grabbed two nearby hydrogen atoms – plenty about – and stuffed them into a passing medical oxygen cylinder before giving himself a rapid dousing with the resultant dihydrogen monoxide. Et voila! No flame! Saved! (But his life wasn’t saved for long. The steel oxygen cylinder, which preceded him to the ground, interposed itself between the unfortunate lad’s skull and the thick mattress laid there only milliseconds before by a team of brave firefighters. The cabin boy expired, haemorrhaging prolifically, to distant cries of “Oh, the humanity”.)
  • Wasn’t he supposed to be standing on the burning deck, not wreck? Probably landed on Frau Hundewitz, Lady Mayor.
  • He fell into the watertank of a fire engine.
  • He fell on the umbrella-light thingy of channel Sevens Today Tonight crew, which had come to film the action LIVE. (This is the only useful thing the crew of the show has yet achieved).
  • Spare lifeboats from the Titanic whizzed past and picked him up.
  • All of a sudden yellow bright halos could be seen and a giant shadow was cast from the sky… was it a plane? An asteroid? Superman? No!! It’s Pikachu come to the rescue!! Yes! The little boy was the great great grandfather of Ash, and Pikachu saved his life.
  • Heimlich Kransky was saved after falling on top of a large female passenger, Mittelshmertz Grossenfarter. This dampened his ardour, but ignited hers and they were married a year later. They later toured the continent as Professor Kransky and his Incredible Bottom Blowtorch. Oh the humanity!
  • I seem to recall seeing this recently in a doco. The water tank had fortunately broken open at the same time, extinguishing the fire (though, I often wonder what happened to the water from the burning hydrogen as well)
  • By a band of travelling acrobats.
  • He landed on Mae West who was just passing by.
  • Seeing as the Hindenburg had no arms with which to catch, it couldn’t have caught fire. And even if it did have arms with which to catch, the ability to catch fire is unknown to me. If the Hindenburg managed to perform the feat I’d like to see it on instant-replay. As for the cabin boy? Who cares. [Well his mother did]
  • Gary Ablett caught him in a spectacular screamer, unfortunately Gary then punted the boy through the goals for six points, but Geelong still lost that one.
  • Fortunately, he aimed for a haystack. Unfortunately, there was a pitchfork in the haystack. Fortunately, he missed the pitchfork. Unfortunately, he also missed the haystack.
  • Someone [or something] did a wee-wee on him
  • He didn’t “fall burning” from it, he jumped out as the airship approached the ground. He probably proceeded to stop, drop, and roll. See,6051,127089,00.html
  • Falling out of bed that morning. You see, when he fell, he broke his leg and never arrived for work.
  • You seem to be a bit confused here! The boy stood on the burning deck. I think that you have the named the ship incorrectly too.
  • Divine intervention, later attributed to coincidence.
  • He fell into a Baptist revival meeting and he was saved! Alleluia!
  • He fell into a trampoline factory.
  • He fell into a vat of cheese. This extinguished the flames, but left him afraid of fondue, a condition that no amount of counselling could remedy.
  • Shortly after falling, a water ballast bag above him burst, dousing the flames. For this question’s novetly answers, please select from the following: 1) Divine intervention. 2) Effectively (he survived). 3) Temporarily (he’s not immortal).
  • Psychic Teleportation

Question 3

What is special about 16 June 1904?

Literally Correct Answer

A lot, if you’re a James Joyce fan.

Answers Showing (or Limiting) the Psychic Power of Dr Bob

  • Good timing Dr Bob, I just bought Ulysses with a gift voucher I was given for Christmas. Bloomsday is your answer.
  • 16 June 1904 was Bloomsday, on which James Joyce’s “Ulysses” took place. I would have answered in Joycian gibberish, but it would have taken you several readings, in the context of my entire body of work, to figure out that I had the answer.
  • 16 June 1904 is 40 years to the day before D-Day. Amazing! It can’t be a coincidence! Other forces are at work here! (Well, almost to the day. D-Day was really on 6 June 1944 but in 40 years the 10 day discrepancy is an ‘error’ of only 0.00068, a number so vanishingly small that it may safely be ignored. Dr Bob, for identifying this inexplicable but self-evidently true link, is doubtless the New Age Nostradamus.)
  • Babies were born, people died, people met and fell in love. The baseball season had started up and hopes were high all around. High school graduating classes around the world were striking out into the world, full of hope and promise at their futures. God, what wasn’t special about 16 June 1904? In fact, every day is special for similar reasons, Dr Bob. Stop being so cynical.
  • 16 June 1904. “This site was moved. Demon Webmasters. Please note that this site has been upgraded and moved to… “. I always suspect those conspicuous webmasters were onto something. Now I got proof that they are demons! Evil!! Moon Make-Up Power… Oshiokiyo! (Sailor Moon Magic Evil-Crushing Spell)

Oh, As If This Could Ever Be the Answer

  • Absolutely nothing happened on this day.

Other Answers I Can’t Think of a Caption For:

  • It’s the only world-wide event that took place on 19’th June 1904, exactly for a duration of 24 hours, not a second less, not a second more… [Ah I see – it was replayed 3 days later?]
  • First flight of Wilbur & Orville Wright. [Sorry – last month’s quiz]
  • Blooming hell – what kind of question is that? Any answer I could possibly give would only be a work of fiction. Was it a Leap (old) year?
  • What a blooming useless question. You deserve a few choice words.
  • The American inventor Thomas Baldwin built a dirigible flown by Roy Knabenshue in 1904. The Scott expedition of 1901-1904 used Ross Island in McMurdo Sound as a base and explored the Ross Ice Shelf and Victoria Land [what, in one day? No wonder they were so tired]
  • Ulysses and all that, also the last pink edition of the Dublin Evening Telegraph. Oh, and it was a Thursday.
  • It was a sunny day in Melbourne and Gary Ablett had just booted 30 goals for Geelong and they still lost the final.
  • A fuzzy haired sockless patent clerk caught a tram
  • It was the predicted end of mankind (obviously)
  • A lot of people died. A lot of people were born. Some others got married. These are all things which were special to the people involved. However I think that the fact that that was the day of the last pink edition of the Dublin Evening Telegraph (as referenced in James Joyce’s Ulysses) is of more interest to most people.
  • Backwards, in Babylonian numbers, it spells “Skeptics are Satanic”.
  • While some think it’s the mention of the Dublin Evening Telegraph’s issue of that being mentioned in a James Joyce novel, and some think it’s because on that date he had his first date with 20yo Nora Barnacle, a chambermaid he’d met on 10 June on Nassau street. Both of those reasons are WRONG! The true answer is, that is the date my father, the Dark Lord Satan, first came up with the idea of creating a being he called Dr Bob to ask us inane questions. He took Satan (dad) a while to actually create Dr Bob. But that is the date he first came up with the idea.
  • Something must have happened or you wouldn’t be asking, but I have no earthly idea what it could have been.
  • Lord Mountbatten was four years old.
  • Nothing. Every day in the calendar is equally unique and so none are special. Then again, the calendar itself is a purely subjective artifice we use for our convenience to measure time. Days don’t really exist at all. Arrghh!
  • This was the day in the life of Stephen Dedalus as described in Ulysses by James Joyce, and begins at the Martello Tower overlooking Dublin Bay. This is the most incomprehensible book I have ever read.
  • It is the date that the novel “Ulysses” by James Joyce is set. On Bloomsday, Irish folk just love to read the book aload [a new word meaning “drunk”] in pubs, etc. Strange folk the Irish. Search the web for “Bloomsday” for more info 🙂
  • My grandfather was born.
  • It was the birthday of the boy who fell from the Hindenburg.
  • It was the birth date of several thousand people, a fact pretty special to them.
  • It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
  • It will never be again.
  • It was NOT a Wednesday. It was, indeed, a Thursday. Even in Dublin, where they printed the last “pink” version of the Evening Telegraph with the first extracts from James Joyce’s “Ulysses” in it. Another reason it probably got used as bog-paper.
  • On this day a Bobolink (Dolichonyx oryzivorus) nest on the dykelands below Wolfville (Canada) was observed to contain five fresh eggs. Coincidentally this is also the day selected by James Joyce as the temporal setting for his novel Ulysses.
  • It’s my birthday! You remembered! Why, I remember it like it was only yesterday… There I was, quietly sleeping, when all of a sudden the walls started closing in on me, and before I know it, I was expelled from my cosy womb and being assaulted by some crazy doctor! I remember quite clearly being carried through the maternity ward, and catching sight of several newspapers, all bearing headlines like: “Bloomsday! Here at last!” It was the happiest day of my life. It’s all been downhill since then. I blame Edison for this. If that fool hadn’t invented the electric light bulb, things would’ve been so much better. Hey wait! Where are you going? I have more stories! No, come back! Please. Nurse!

Question 4

Did Adolf Hitler appear in any films in an acting (rather than documentary) role?



Plausible Alternatives:

  • Of course he did, it would be silly to ask this question if the answer is “no”. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be able to astound us with the amazingly obscure fact that you’ve found.
  • Yes… He must have – otherwise you wouldn’t have asked the question 🙂
  • Yes, but he wasn’t very good, so he took up politics. So did Ronald Reagan, and let’s not hope any of the current crop of Hollywood fizzers.
  • Yes, strangely enough to rave reviews in all German, Bohemian, Austrian and some Polish newspapers. All other critics universally panned his performance as too ham fisted, over the top melodrama.
  • No. You’re probably thinking of the bastard, half-brother that he idolised, Charlie Chaplin. It’s a little know fact that in the middle of 1888, the Charles Chaplin Sr and his wife, Hannah Hill, were taking their music-hall act on tour through Austria. When they stopped in a small town called Brunau-am-Inn, Hannah was seduced by a border guard named Alois Hitler. That same day, Hitler also impregnated his own third wife, and cousin by marriage, Klara. The following year, both women gave birth to his sons, Hannah bearing Charles Spencer Chaplin in London, and Klara bearing Adolf Hitler in Brunau. Adi, as he was known by his few friends, so envied his half-brother’s fame and popularity, that he even changed his looks to mimic the actor. I think that this is the source of your confusion. [And of his, unfortunately]
  • Hard to distinguish the two. He was a thoroughly modern politician, campaigning and touring by air, constantly on camera, obviously enjoying it. But act? He acted most of the time to the very end. And the cameras were rolling, in living colour.
  • Hitler’s contributions to the field of comedic film-making were unfortunately few. He stars in the hilarious “Der Sieg Des Glaubiens” (1933) in which he parodies himself by playing the role of an un-named fascist dictator. He went on to reprise his role in “The Three Stooges versus the Nazis” and much later in the Jim Varney classic “Ernest goes to Auschwitz.”
  • yes (at the very least, in several documentary films, he is seen acting as a decent chap)
  • Adolf starred in propaganda movies made by the director Leni Riefenstahl, who is never mentioned except in crossword puzzles because she was a Nazi, and nobody could spell her name. She was fond of filming him descending godlike from the clouds, usually in a plane, backlit with rays of sunlight, to be greeted by thousands of cheering frauleins.
  • An uncredited Hitler played the part of Charlie Chaplin’s father in the 1940 Leni Riefenstahl classic “The Great Dick Tater”, a Gaelic-language movie telling how an ingenious Irishman overcame pestilence and self-doubt to singlehandedly conquer the potato famine of the mid-1800s.
  • According to some persistent but not altogether reliable reports, Hitler and Eva liked to use their little wind-up Super-8 to make “adult” movies of their own private antics, for later inspiration. Rumour has it many scenes were a combination of earthy farmhouse humour and raunch – God knows who got to hold the turnip! And I can’t imagine the looks they got when they picked up the developed footage from the corner chemist.
  • Yes, the movie North Sea Hijack with Roger Moore, although he was wearing a dress and called himself Margaret Thatcher.
  • Yes – mainly in Steven Segal movies to demonstrate that some facial expression is possible.
  • Adolf did a hilarious and witty send-up of Charlie Chaplin in the satirical silent movie Little Dick ‘Tater – the story of a small tramp, born to Irish potato farming parents. (Or do I have this the wrong way around?)
  • Adolph often doubled for Charlie Chaplin in silent films. Unfortunately, with sound his heavy German accent and audible and regular flatulence ended his career and led him to his second career in world domination.
  • Adolf Hitler is famous for his role in Leni Reifenstahl’s Olympic spoof ‘Olympia’ in which Hitler plays a Norwegian shot-putter.
  • The answer rather depends on your definition of ‘acting’ and ‘documentary’. Hitler appeared in various Nazi propaganda films such as Leni Riefenstahl’s ‘Olympische Spiele’ and ‘Der Triumph Des Willens’. If we define a documentary as a factual documentation of events, then these little gems were more akin to Hollywood.
  • Not sure. But “Mrs Miniver” would not have been made but for Adolf’s influence.
  • Only some low budget porn in which he got buggered by an elephant. Serves him right. He did play a corpse (quite well, I might add) in some film footage shot by British troops in 1945, though.
  • Big Adolf first appeared in an adult educational fillum: “Party at Kitty and Adolph’s”. Many historians believe this is the origin of his famous salute. However, acting was not for him, he was often quoted as saying: “But what I really want to do is dictate.” And the rest is history…
  • He played Woody Allen’s father
  • Didn’t he have a cameo in “Life is Beautiful” as the zany but lovable genocidal maniac?
  • Not unless cutting a few steps in a home movie while wearing a white jacket that makes him look like a waiter counts.
  • He appears as “Der Fuehrer” in “Triumph of the Will.” Since the character of “Der Fuehrer” was a benevolent dictator who embraced all of Germany, it can safely be said that he was acting.
  • In his case – there’s a difference?
  • Russ Meyer’s UP! circa 1976 – And I’m serious – Check it out for yourself
  • Yes he did. He played himself and fought Mew-two in a big battle, and poor Mew-two got into concentration camp in the end. And the sequel got Pikachu rescuing Mew-Two!! That was a good movie!
  • Yes, he did. Among others he was in The Matrix, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, My Own Private Idaho, Point Break and, inexplicably, Hamlet. No, hold on, that was Keanu Reeves – sorry, I always mix those two up.
  • We are all actors on life’s great stage… [Then someone should have said “Cut”]

Question 5

Which country first invaded or occupied a neutral nation or state during World War 2?

Only One Right Answer, And Even That Looks Pretty Desperate

At a rough guess…America? [Yes – invaded Iceland in 1940]

Arguable Answers (no wonder people fight wars):

  • I want to say Germany or Japan, but I know it’s someplace obscure like Namibia or Siam, or, again, you wouldn’t be asking.
  • It depends on your definition of the start of WWII. If you’re Czech, then Germany invaded Czechoslovakia in 1938. [I’m not – so they didn’t. Whew, that’s a relief]
  • Not Finland. While not very precise, I believe that this answer is completely accurate. Should you find this answer unacceptable, well, I pity your pedantic ass, and you’ll have to settle for my half-baked guess of Italy (for all that nonsense with Albania).
  • That’ll be the United States versus the Indians. This occurred in spite of the protestations of then US foreign secretary Prof. M. Smartt that “… India is a neutralist nation!”
  • Probably Britain. They like the word “occupied”, as in “occupying Aboriginal lands” instead of invading…
  • Everybody knows that The Duchy of Grand Fenwick, led by Prime Minister Peter Sellars successfully invaded and occupied the USA. (Now, name that movie!)
  • Again it depends on definitions of ‘neutrality’ (the true neutrality of some nations is controversial to this day) and on ‘invasion’. My answer is Germany which invaded Denmark and Norway on 9 April 1940. Russia had earlier bombed Pajala in neutral Sweden on 21 Feb 1940, but I guess this doesn’t really count as an ‘invasion’ as such.
  • Since Poland wasn’t neutral (it was allied to The West), it was actually Great Britain who did, when the Royal Navy invaded then-neutral Norway to seize a German ship that had British prisoners of war on it. This occurred before the German invasion of Norway.
  • I looked at my map of the world and could see no neutral nations – lots of pink, green and red, but no neutral. Probably couldn’t find a pair of shoes and bag to match.
  • USSR, into Poland, following a neutrality pact only weeks previously. Germany had already invaded Poland and technically they were across the line before the referee whistled start of play. Also, Adolf liked Eva to dress up as Poland and then invade her.
  • Most countries in Europe, especially once the war bogged down into trench warfare no side could move forward so its motion was said to be neutral. (Nurse I think its time to up the medication).
  • Pass (that’s a country – right?) [No – it is the answer to the question “What is the name commonly given to a narrow passage across a range of mountains”]
  • Being of a Canadocentric upbringing, I believe that World War Two started with Canada’s violent annexation of Newfoundland in 1949.
  • Germany cut through Belgium on the way to France, marking Keanu Reeves’ first tactical mistake, as the (very racist) world had had remarkably few problems with Nazi Germany prior to this expansion. No, wait, I meant Hitler. I always do that….
  • Poland invaded Czechoslovakia. Question: Inhabitants of Poland are Poles … shouldn’t people from Holland be called Holes?
  • New Zealand
  • Lichtenstein
  • It’s a tie. At the very start of WWII, the neutral countries were all occupying their own territories.
  • Invaded or Occupied? Which is it? And what do you actually mean by the word “Invaded”? Not that it matter what you meant, because countries cannot invade or occupy anything. In fact, countries can’t do anything much except sit there. Now the people who live in those countries… well, that’s a different matter. But you didn’t ask about them.
  • Britain invaded Ireland [That was in 1642 actually]
  • When did the war start? They were so many invasions of neutral countries, from Albania to Ethiopia and Rheinland. I give my vote for the sad and often forgotten ones: Soviet invasions of Estonia, Latvia and Lithuania. [Yup – that was second after Iceland]

Question 6

Who’s this?


The sheila is Alice – after whom A.Springs was named. The bloke is her husband, Charles Todd, surveyor-general of South Australia.

Look What Happens When You Can’t Use the Search Engines

  • I don’t know who the man on the right is, but I’m fairly certain that the man on the left is Marilyn Manson.
  • No. The Who had more than 2 people [I can well imagine the queues outside the dressing room door]. Or did you mean “Who are these?”
  • My grandparents! Where did you pricks get the negative?
  • The woman looks vaguely like other photographs I’ve seen of Marie Curie. The man looks like a horse.
  • “Newspaper Photo of Two Eminent Nineteenth-Century Persons”.
  • ‘American Gothic – the Early Years’? (Only the barn and the pitchfork are missing.)
  • The man on the left is an old closet queen. The man on the right is his boyfriend in drag
  • hey…when did u take this picture of my cousins together?
  • Robert & Clara Schumann
  • Is this the question where we bend over and you bone us? [Cripes! I almost forgot…]
  • More to the point – who’s hand is that in the middle? It seems to be detached from him and it can’t be hers unless she’s double jointed and has a metre long upper arm. I’d say its one of the most convincing ghost photos I’ve ever seen. After all a photo can’t lie, can it?
  • That looks like Phillipus Whittle and his incredibly life-like sister Chlamydia. Their unfortunate deformity has meant their perpetual exclusion from the hairdressers hall of fame.
  • It is a pattern of light and dark areas on my screen which has been specified by the rendering of a JPG file. This specification *may* have originated from the scanning of a 2 dimensional representation of the depiction of the reflected light from two three-dimensional subjects.
  • Either the Curies or a really stoned woman and her British husband.
  • By the look on the bloke’s face I would say that he has just discovered that the stools centre pole has shot through the bottom of the seat he is sitting on.
  • Male and female of species: homo sapiens, variant: caucasian, dress: ?late 19th/early 20th century. Remarks: female appears unfairly paternalised, with modest plain hair style, likely discriminated, remnants of Victorian influence, meaning at this period of the tribe: British. As for names then; Mr and Mrs Smith?
  • Johnny Depp and Naomi Campbell – Kate Moss is actually in the picture as well, standing between the other two.
  • John and Elizabeth Macarthur
  • E.W. Versace and M.E. Chanel – pioneers of fashionable, expensive, yet uncomfortable, attire.
  • A young William Lloyd Garrison (USA abolitionist) and his wife.
  • Why, it is J.L. Runeberg, the Poet Laureate of Finland, with his wife Fredrika, the inventor of the famous Runeberg tart.
  • Mr and Mrs Hitler in an early scene from a home movie, before the turnip made its appearance. Note the limp wrist.
  • Madame Blavatsky & Col. Henry Steel Olcott attending the inaugural Theosophy Society fancy dress ball dressed as Pierre and Maire Curie (not sure which is which).
  • Abe Lincoln’s love child
  • I’m not sure, but I saw them going into that underground nightclub on Saturday night.
  • The same person, but I don’t know who.
  • Walter and Eliza Burley Griffin
  • This is Wild Bill Hickock and Calamity Jane, both with their hair done especially for the photo. But who owns the hand on her shoulder? Is it the grandfather of Thing from the Addams Family? Would have to be an old hand.
  • “This” is singular and there are 2 people in the picture. Hmm… so they must be one of those twins that got body parts linked together…
  • It’s Dr Bob. And I should know cause I took the photo [… using a string tied to the camera; that’s you next to me. I never did get further than the hand on the shoulder]
  • Photographic subjects. Again, while not very precise, I believe this answer to be absolutely correct. Again, should you find this answer unacceptable, your ass is pitied once more, and you get to deal with my latest half-baked guess of Mr and Mrs Osborne, proprietors of “Osborne And Wife’s Travelling Circus And Freakshow”, popular in the midwest US during the 1930s, and renowned for their world-class collection of bearded ladies. For greater hilarity, please consider this alternative answer:Mother! Father! You found them! Dr Bob, how can I ever repay you!
  • Edmund Barton
  • Hard one this [Please keep to the topic]. I think the one in the middle is called THING. It follows that the others must be Gomez and Morticia Addams.
  • Jesus
  • Caroline Chisholm
  • The Curies.
  • Which one?


  • Sorry for the waste of space! Damn – that’s even more space! Oh BUGGER!
  • No idea, I was killing time (DIE DAMN U DIE!)
  • Yes, yes – the visual questions ARE fun, but how do I (and other illiterate, not-widely-read nitwits like myself) submit these to a search engine, so we have some chance of knowing the correct answer?
  • *this space for rent*
  • I protest. Bonus picture question last month. What is pasta if not a form of reconstituted grass seed. It may have some avian ovum and some water but it is fundamentally grass seed. I claim a correct answer.
  • Blame the time of the year and/or start of the new millenium. Maybe it has something to do with my age.
  • Weet-bix is one of those foods that does NOT come back up looking like diced carrot. I’m not quite sure what I’d say it does look like… but it isn’t carrot. How true that is.
  • Can I go now?
  • If I do not win this quiz, please contact my office for an appointment.
  • Si iterum insanum me appelles, oculum tuum alterum edem.
  • Please can you make sure all the limericks rhyme/scan this time.
  • We’ve got, Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, La-La, Po … Go on Doc, take your pic! [Well me and the other 6 dwarves have got Snow White – let’s do a swap]
  • Contrary to reports, I am not only alive but well and living in the belly of a whale. Hang on a sec, make that “I have a whale of a belly”. So all you “creation scientists” can go back to lala-land now.
  • Good quiz – I found it because I’m trying to compose a quiz myself. I visit the site a bit but I hadn’t come across the quiz before. [Oh dear oh dear – this is the best part of the site!] I don’t *know* the answers to any of the questions, but I’ve tried to guess as best I can.
  • Dr. Bob it hurts when I do this. [Can you send a JPG? Otherwise I’ll have to guess and I might get the size of it all wrong]
  • # 40! Haw haw haw.
  • (I knew I had forgotten something) Now I can go back to bed.
  • Why wish me good luck? Luck doesn’t come into it matey.
  • Why do I do your confounded quizzes. I need to get a Life!
  • Too easy Dr. Bob. Or are you just encouraging people to surf the net during lunch breaks? Or do you have shares with Micro$oft?
  • Answering a Dr Bob quiz is like a Minties Moment. [You chew it over, it doesn’t as last long as you’d like, and you are left with a feeling of disappointment mixed with a craving for more]
  • “Bugger” said Pooh as Tigger molested him while he was stuck in the door.
  • Well, I’ve made a bad start to the new year. Apart from purchasing Ulysses, which was a timely piece of luck.
  • Happy New Year!
  • Hawkwind still rules.
  • Way easy.