Answers for December 2000

Well the picture question baffled nearly everyone, including Sir Jim R Wallaby who submitted a facetious answer that turned out to be exactly right. Commendable efforts from Sam Ross and Fred Kelley among others but the WINNER for December is

Duncan Meyers

Today is New Year’s Day and it’s just over half an hour before midnight – it’s 023:023:023 01-01-01. So let’s hear it – 023! 023! 023! 01! 01! 01! There’s another bonus picture question this month. Not very good I’m afraid but these can be fun so I will try to dig up some better ones.


Question 1

What is, or rather was before the Russians flattened it, the principal source of revenue of Chechnya?

Correct Answer

Illictly tapping crude oil from the pipeline that crosses the region, refining it at home and selling it on the black market.

Encyclopedia Britannica Says – Incredibly:

As well as petroleum and natural gas – furniture, parquet flooring, and musical instruments, and some food processing.

Equally Right

  • Pride
  • The principal source of income in Chechnya was oil, much of it from homemade wells and pumps run by individual villages or families. Unfortunately, the Russians’ recent practice of bombing the beejeezuz out of all and sundry wells, pumps and tanks (ostensibly to deny a fuel and income source to Chechen forces) has essentially shut down this unusual cottage industry. In order to make ends meet, Chechnyan families are now reduced to exporting designer rubble which can be found for sale through the Burke’s Backyard gardening show website, where you can pick up something to add a certain je ne sais quoi to your rockery, while Tonya Todman will also show you how to turn those shrapnel pieces and bone fragments into a tasteful coffee table ornament.
  • Chechnya has petroleum, chemical, and lumber industries. This was from the internet, I’m afraid; according to: http://www.amina.com/article/medal_ru.html “Chechnya has petroleum, chemical, and lumber industries” Should be “had”, I suppose. But it sounds like a guess-answer to a school Geography question.
  • The principal source of revenue for Chechnya was a group of buyers that were prepared to pay a mutually agreed price in a shared unit of economic value for a commodity that was perceived by the buyers to be of the agreed value.
  • There once was a Chechnyan economyThat built up a level of infamy.Oil stolen from pipes,And cars that they’d swipedWere sold to bring in some hard currency.

Nearly Right

  • Blancmange.
  • Khirgizistan Fried Chechen. Invented by Colonel (KGB, Ret’d) Sandrov. Contained 19 secret herbs and spices, including cocaine, opium, napalm, fat etc.
  • Russian tourism
  • The Chechnyans
  • Another Chechen source of incomeWas hostages captured for ransom.The nefarious hoodsSold illicit goods.I hope they left out the plutonium!
  • Russians. Seems the Chechans had a nifty business of kidnapping and ransoming Russian Citizens. Russia only attacked the Chechens when they threatened to send all the kidnapped people back.
  • You know, I am sure there is a very good answer to this question. Unfortunately, I don’t have it. [Yes, I imagine that would be very unfortunate – sorry, I was working on Q5]
  • The new Czech Exchange store.
  • Sheep raising. In fact the Russians will tackle New Zealand next.
  • I’ll answer the first one: a pancake
  • If the Russians flattened it, it must be some kind of fizzy drink that the Russians left out too long when they came over for the party. But that can’t be right because the Russians would have drunk it all before it went flat. Maybe the alcohol content didn’t exceed 98% by a high enough margin.
  • Gas (or Petroleum, for non-colonists)
  • Ultimately … the Sun
  • Working, which originates from the need to survive, which originates from competing replicating molecules, which originates from the laws of physics and chemistry, which originates from the Big Bang. So the source of revenue is the Big Bang, or maybe it’s just God, since, if he looks after sparrows, he must be able to look after Chechnyans.
  • Videos of <i>Up In Smoke</i>, a Chechen Chong classic.
  • Around Stalin’s time it was the travel business, specializing in trips to Siberia. Before that it was either oil or making yogurt. Stalin didn’t like yogurt, that’s why he was mean to the Chechnyans. But then, he was mean to a lot of people, wasn’t he? [And according to Lenin his table manners were “rather rude”]
  • It’s either those lovely little enamelled toothpicks that depict the comprehensive history of tsarist Russia–so popular with the gliterati in Brentwood, California – or it’s petroleum. It’s probably the toothpicks, yeah, that’s it – that’s where they made their big cha-ching-o.
  • Chechnya has important oil deposits, as well as natural gas, limestone, gypsum, sulfur, and other minerals oil, petrochemicals, oil-field equipment, foods, wines, and fruit are produced.
  • They found an oil pipeline and decided to charge a tariff on the oil that was running through it. A bit like City Link.
  • Pissing off Russia. Or maybe oil.
  • A close run race between kidnap and ransom and the sale of ex Russian atomic weapons to other Govts.
  • Weapons manufacture, a resource that very nearly made it both self supporting and self defeating at the same time.
  • Cheap but realistic tank targets in the shape of apartment blocks and small children were a runaway moneyspinner. Actually, the correct answer is ‘crime’.
  • Oil refining and the oil pipeline. Since then bugger all apart from the landfill business.
  • The set of the T.V. show, “Who Wants to Own a Kettle?”
  • Fines on people who couldn’t pronounce “chek-nyah” correctly (see the bible story about “shibboleth”).
  • Furious political thought.
  • Boris Yeltsin dance videos. Some of the best are “Танец с Борисом”, “Танец и питье стиля Ельцина”, and (my personal favorite) “Переместите ваши ноги подобно Президенту” [This reminds me of the joke about a factory where to save time, management have printed an official book of numbered jokes – someone calls out “44” and they all laugh, etc. Someone then calls out “89” and they laugh even more than usual – they hadn’t heard that one before. Then someone calls out “37” with little response – there’s nothing wrong with joke 37, but it was the way he told it]

Question 2

What languages are related to Korean?

Quick answer

None

More Detailed Answers:

  • All of them…some more closer .. some less … closer ..
  • Basque
  • Finnish and Hungarian. My source for this was the ever-reliable P. J O’Rourke. (“Seoul Brothers” essay from “Holidays in Hell”
  • Kirlian and Klatsch.
  • Siberian and Mongolian. The written language was invented by King Sejung in 1446. The letters he wrote to the newspapers hardly ever got printed because he was the only one who could read Korean for a long time. It didn’t matter much because there weren’t any newspapers anyway. King Sejung was a man ahead of his time, (like some others of us).
  • Inuit (Eskimo) and Ainu (native North Japanese)
  • Double Dutch for all I know
  • Koguryan, and less closely, the Altaic family (Mongol, Manchu-Tungus and Turkic groups)
  • Languages are nonliving entities and are therefore unable to reproduce. You see, when a mummy and daddy love each other very much…
  • Korean shares many features with Chinese and Japanese but is also related to Turkish and Mongolian, apparently there are some theories that it is related to Hungarian & Finnish…
  • In Korea they have a fine languageWith a hotly disputed lineage.Altaic’s supported,Japanese is purported,And the chances of Finnish: above average.
  • All of them if you go back far enough. (Scholars have not firmly established a genetic relationship between Korean and any language family. Korean does not belong to the same language family as Chinese and also differs from Chinese in structural characteristics. In grammatical structure, Korean is closest to the Japanese language. The most widely accepted hypothesis is that Korean, like Japanese, is related to the Altaic language group, which includes Mongolian, Turkish, and other languages of Asia. Within that group scholars consider Korean closest to the Tungusic branch, which consists chiefly of languages spoken in Siberia and Mongolia.) Blah blah blah.
  • Not sure, but I’ve just told all the nice people at http://www.egroups.com/group/conlang about this quiz, so I hope you get some very informed and entertaining answers, probably including languages invented by members of the group.
  • Funny, I was just asking myself that same question last Wednesday as I was munching on some pickled cabbage and enjoying a noontime stroll on the Via Condotti. It occurred to me that the Korean language is probably more closely related to Siberian and Mongolian than it is to Chinese. [As it frequently does to persons who eat cabbage in this particular location – oh sorry, carry on] Unfortunately, as I was munching my cabbage, thinking about the origins of the Korean language, and crossing the street, a large conveyance of Korean manufacture side-swiped me, and I went flying through the air, and landed on my head. When I regained consciousness, I couldn’t remember if I was Italian or abnormis sapiens.
  • Mongolian, Innuit, and Klingon.
  • According to my Korean colleague Youn, Korean is a unique language spoken only by 60 million superior people (But then Youn can be a wanker sometimes). Be that as it may, “Say-hay boke mahn-he pah-du-say-oh” to Dr. Bob.
  • Mama Korean, Papa Korean and little baby sister Korean.
  • Japanese, Altaic(Turkic, Mongolian, Manchu-Tungus)
  • New Guinea, Maori, Philipino. Korean is related to the Austronesian languages. Linguistic support for this argument includes open syllables, the honorific system, numerals, and several body parts. On the other hand anthropological evidence includes rice cultivation, tattooing, and the myth of an egg as the birth place of royalty. Susumu Ohno, a Japanese scholar, supports the belief that Korean came from the South by showing that the names of body parts are a core vocabulary.
  • Kim, thats the reason why anybody named Kim can’t marry in Korea. Otherwise there would be adds in the single columns “Kim speaking Kim, seeks Kim who speaks Kim, object Kimming”, or maybe its time for my medication. “NURSE”
  • All languages are related, if traced back to the ‘Ugh’ and ‘Aaaaargh! Mammoth!’ stage
  • All languages are related. Languages diverged when God scattered the people – everyone knows that!
  • So far, language scholars have not established any firm link between Korean and any other languages. Grammatically, it is most similar to Japanese (sentence structure basically being: subject-object-verb), although written Korean uses a true alphabet whereas Japanese uses two syllabaries (hiragana and katakana) and Chinese pictograms (kanji). Some scholars assert that Korean is related to the Altaic language group, which includes Turkish and Mongolian and Balkan languages – within that group, it is deemed closest to the Tungusic branch, which mainly comprises languages spoken in Siberia, Mongolia and along the Caspian Sea in Russia. My own theory is that it most closely resembles the ‘Star Trek’ Klingon language, i.e. it was invented as an unamerican-sounding language for the baddies to speak in a movie and a TV series (and we’re about due for more reruns of M*A*S*H, too, as the non-ratings season is upon us).
  • All of them, since it is likely according to the ‘Out of Africa’ theory that language capacities in homo sapien originated from a single source group in Africa.
  • Possibly none. There is some speculation that Korean (and Japanese) may derive from the same ur languages as Mongolian and Turkish. The Tungusic languages of Mongolia and Siberia are candidates for status as relatives, but I don’t know if they are invited for holiday dinners.
  • Altaic languages: Mongolian, Turcic; Japanese
  • Apparently controversial (what would I know? I’m parroting stuff from the web): Finnish, Estonian, Saami (Lapp), Hungarian, and several languages of central Russia, Mongolian, Buryat, Kalmuck, etc., Turkish, Azerbaijani, Kazakh and other languages of Central Asia, Manchu, Juchen, Evenki, Even, Oroch and other languages of northeastern Asia.
  • There is the written form, the spoken form, and several dialects of the latter.
  • What ain’t no language I ever heard of. They speak Korean in What? Is it the Angkor What? No language. That’s the answer then
  • Yes, languages are related to Korean.
  • The main Koran-related language is Arabic, although Farsi, Urdu, Bahasa and Malay are good runners-up. (You did stuff up the spelling of ‘Koran’, didn’t you Dr Bob?)

Question 3

Where is Lake Vostok?

  • Look, I’ve told you before to look after your stuff. Don’t come around here whinging just because you’ve lost something. It’s probably either on the Moon, an island in the Pacific or in the back of your second drawer where you keep your odd socks.
  • As a result of geophysical data acquisition over several decades by the international research community, one of the largest (10,000 km2) freshwater bodies in the world has been identified lying beneath the 4 km thick ice sheet of Eastern Antarctica in the vicinity of the Russian Vostok Station. Lake Vostok is around 230 km long by 50 km wide, has a maximum water depth of over 500 m and contains a sediment record up to hundreds of metres thick. A further 70+ smaller sub-glacial lakes are now known to occur beneath the ice sheet in various parts of the continent, including several in the vicinity of the South Pole.
  • Lake Vostok is located about 4 km below the Antarctic ice sheet, under the Russian Antarctic research station. It’s a long way to dig to take the kids yabbying in Summer. Hmmmm, Russian oil well detonation, Russian languages, Russian research stations, do I detect a theme in this quiz? <frowns> Have you been getting stuck into the vodka again, Dr Bob?
  • 77°S 105°E (Oh OK, Antartica)
  • About 400,000km from Russia, homeland of the folk who named it. Lake Vostok is exceptionally dry. Russians are not.
  • Always on the other side of ‘F’ in question four (‘F’ also being the grade I expect to get for this answer).
  • An Antarctican lake named Vost’OKIs where boats find it tricky to dock.Its location’s discrete:Below the icesheet!Which gives straying sailors a shock.Antarctica, under lots of ice (note to self: cancel holiday booking to Lake Vostok its cold and dark and it is a silly place)
  • Antarctica. And check this out: “Lake Vostok is a potential source of completely new microorganisms, including psychrophilic Archaea”. Well, cover me with honey and throw me to the lesbians.
  • Exobiologists are fascinated. ExoBiology is the only(?) scientific study where there is no evidence of the existence of the object of such study. Did someone say psychic?
  • I believe that it is on Europa. I would check but I was told by HAL that I should attempt no landings there.
  • I was sure Lake Vostok was in Chechnya and had formed as a result of a catastrophic flattening effect, which is what happens when large amounts of explosive materials are dropped from very high altitudes. But of course, I was wrong, Lake Vostok is in Antarctica, 4,000 meters below the ice. A very short Korean, wearing a Giogio Armani suit told me this last Wednesday.
  • In (literally) the Antarctic. (Is 4000m of ice safe to walk on, or should we call in the OH&S representative?)
  • In a hole.
  • In a large bounded topographic depression.
  • In eastern Antarctica, under 4 km of ice, near the Russian Vostok Station, which is a winter resort area. The lake is fresh water, about the size of Corsica, but the tourists are mostly Chechnyans, not Corsicans who like a warmer climate. The lakes fauna and flora is similar to the lakes of Jupiter’s Europa.
  • In Vostok Land. I don’t know. How are people supposed to know these answers. I mean seriously. Is there even a Lake Vostok, or are you just trying to see how many stupid answers people can come up with?
  • Its a freshwater lake buried deep beneath the Antarctic ice sheet. It was in the news about a year ago because it seems to show signs of life, and could be a lesson in what to look for in other planets (and their moons).
  • Now, let’s think about this. When did you last see it?
  • On Planet Pii, in the Finnzsa (Western Jungle Crocodile) territory. I should know: I put it there.
  • The array forming the pattern “Lake Vostok” is on the screen in front of my eyes.
  • The small puddle under the seat after they told Yuri Gagarin his Vostok rocket had no rockets in it. And the rocket launcher they’d installed was an empty milk bottle. And the retro-rockets were just flares, psychedelic flares man.
  • Why all the questions?
  • You really have an ice fixation don’t you Dr Bob. First it was the Titanic, then the North pole and lately Antarctica. Well, this question has certainly put the icing on the lake. [GROAN]
  • I give up. Where is it?

Question 4

Four cards show D,F,3,2 – there is a theory that D always has 3 on the other side, what cards should you turn over to investigate this?

Answer

Only the cards that might disprove the theory, only in bringing it down, so – D and 2. The F and 3 cannot help.

Better Answers:

  • All of them. If this is the whole sample to which the theory applies, then turning over all the cards will either validate or invalidate the theory. If this is just a random sample of possible cards, it cannot be used to prove the theory true; turning over all the cards may invalidate the theory (if the D has no 3, or the 3 has no D, or the F or the 2 has a 3 or a D), or leave open the possibility that the theory may be valid (if the D has a 3 on the other side, and the 3 has a D on the other side) but is not proven. Preferably, all cards should be turned over by a Russian. The one thing it proves conclusively is the need for a more interesting theory. Or at least more interesting cards. (My husband keeps a really interesting pack of cards in the bottom of his wardrobe with those videos and magazines I’m not supposed to know about.)
  • All of them. Of course, only D, F, and 2 need to be turned over. In fact if one turns them over in order, you can stop if the D does not have a 3 on the other side, or the F has a D on the other side. But this is a rather narrow position to take. Surely anyone investigating the theory would be interested if it was shown to be false and would further investigate to try to determine if the theory could be modified, and furthermore would be rather embarrassed at the small sample. And with such a small sample I would be embarrassed at the lack of curiosity of any investigator who didn’t turn over all of them 🙂
  • D and 2. To disprove it, you have to check D and 2 (not the 3). There is another way of presenting this example to do with bouncers in a nightclub and checking the age of teenage drinkers, but I’m far too hungover to search for it. Try “Good Ideas” in S Pinker’s “How the Mind Works” Tho’ his example is D,F,3,7, which is confusing. Especially with aforesaid hangover.
  • D and 3. I would turn over the credit card to see if the signature matched; that’s the sort of one too many conversations that you get later in the evening.
  • None of them. Ask the theorist to expound his theory. If he states that theory, there is a theory. If he murders you, your diagnosis is probably correct.
  • D, F and 2. But the true skeptic would ask if you in fact have empirical evidence that every “D” card in the known universe has a “3” on the back of it” and every, say F, U, 2 cards have not. The only evidence you have relates to the particular cards you are presently investigating – too small a sample for such a sweeping statement.
  • There once was a selection test.For logic, it really was best.With a name like “Wason”It had to be fun!My answer is “D, 2”! No jest!
  • No cards at all. “this” is right there at the end of the question.
  • The D card, and then find another couple of D cards to test the theory.
  • Dr Bob’s credit card. I will turn it over to the next policeman I meet.
  • Turn over those cards under which your weapon is hidden, and then use it to kill D. Now that D is “on the other side”, use your psychic sense to determine whether it now has 3 anywhere about its person.
  • What kind of cards are we talking here? Finnish cards have no such symbols.
  • Curiosity killed the cat
  • Been reading Pinker eh? But since you have changed the question crucially, the answer is all of them.
  • What African, or European?
  • The D, the F, and the 2. The 3 doesnt tell you much. I have friend, D., who has a nice little rose tatoo on the other side who is fun to turn over and investigate. (I never heard this theory before! Imagine that! Wait till I tell D.!)
  • Turn over D, F, and 2. Because of the fun we’ve been having, turn over the 3 too.
  • Do you think for one moment that without appropriate funding I’m going to reveal my research plans? And following the approval of said funding, I’m afraid that will be proprietary information.
  • D, although even if D does have three on the other side in this example, it doesn’t mean it always will. But if D doesn’t have three on the other side, it soon disproves that theory.
  • Well, the question implies that there are four identical cards inscribed with “D,F,3,2” so you can’t test the theory with any of them.
  • Every D card in the world, because if even one of them has something else on it, the theory is disproved. The existence of one black swan disproves the theory that all swans are white. Etcetera, etcetera.
  • All of them, it’s not like its hard to turn a playing card. You have two chances to confirm the theory and two to refute it. Repetition is an essential tool of science.
  • A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 0. Just to make sure.
  • Strictly, the terms of the question require the flipping of ‘D’ only. A curious researcher would, however, also turn over ‘3’ in order to see if the reverse is true (ie, that ‘3’ always has ‘D’ on the other side). A researcher with nothing better to do would probably say “bugger it” and also flip ‘F’ and ‘2’ in order to satisfy some primeval scientific urge.
  • Well, the back of the ‘3’ would be inconclusive, as the theory says nothing about the reverse of said card. Thus turning the ‘D’ alone could disconfirm the theory. However, if the back of ‘D’ SHOULD prove to be a ‘3’ the theory would not necessarily be confirmed. In fact, turning ALL the cards would not confirm the theory, unless we know that the theory is only concerned with this particular set of four cards.
  • If there are only four cards in the pack then all of them. If there are more cards in the pack, then all of them as well
  • Strictly speaking, to prove the hypothesis…every card in existence.
  • Nothing can be proven here without checking every card in the universe that has a “D” on one side.
  • Where is this theory? Who proposed it? Has it been tested in double blind clinical trials? In my experience D almost never has a 3 on the other side of it, the exception being in histories of the Caterpillar Tractor Company. Don’t go around throwing specious theories at us Dr Bob. Who do you think you are, a creation “scientist”.
  • ? [No, there’s only D F 3 and 2]
  • D would seem to be the obvious choice. Go wild! Turn ’em all over!
  • Some people would turn over D & 3, but I’d just concentrate hard and by using my enhanced psychic powers (“You Too Can See Through Cards!”, parawhatsit press, $24.95) I won’t need to turn over any cards!
  • If 3 is turned over and there is a D it’s true, it’s false if there is no D. If you turn into a pumpkin, it proves Cinderella was not home before midnight.
  • None – don’t you know that card playing is very sinful!!!!

Question 5

Freud said that a diagnosis was probably correct if the patient agreed with the analyst about it. What if the patient vehemently disagreed with the diagnosis?

Correct (according to Freud) Answer:

Then the diagnosis is even more likely to be correct!

More Visits Are Needed:

  • Obviously, the patient needs more therapy, a couple of dozen more sessions at least, at an exorbitant hourly rate, until the patient agrees with the therapist, or the therapist has enough money to take a holiday. Two week’s water-skiing on Lake Vostok perhaps, or a tasting tour of the vodka mines of Korea…..
  • According to Freud, it still meant that despite denials that the patient still wanted to kill his father and stick his genitals into his mother . . .
  • Either the diagnosis is probably correct but the patient and analyst agreed that they disagreed with the diagnosis, or the diagnosis is probably incorrect and they disagreed about it. (Either way the patient probably likes his mother too much and the analyst likes to be confusing).
  • Freud always took the occurrence of resistance as a sign that he was on the right track in his assessment of the underlying unconscious causes of the patient’s condition.
  • Freud still got paid
  • Good point. I’ll have to think about that one.
  • He was in love with his mother?
  • In that case the diagnosis is definitely correct. Sometimes Sigmund wins, and sometimes Sigmund wins. Got that?
  • It was a symbol that the patient was a Jung man.
  • My psychoanalyst put you up to this didn’t she? She told you to ask this question! Don’t deny it! Don’t ever deny it! She’s out to get me. You are ALL out to get me. I thought I could come here to escape but she won’t let me. She follows me everywhere. She has my children spying on me all the time. What are those men in white coats doing coming through my door? Help! Heeelllpppp…
  • Obviously the patient is in denial, and this proves that the diagnosis was accurate.
  • The analyst was still right, because the reaction demonstrated a conflict between the id and superego. (Actually I made that up, but it’s fun to coin your own Freudian gibberish. And it makes my mother pay attention to ME instead of my &#*!! father . . . )
  • The diagnosis is correct. Alternatively, the patient is an idiot and needs more expensive therapy. A win-win situation if ever I saw one. I now understand why shrinks drive expensive cars.
  • The diagnosis was definitely correct and the patient also plainly had penis envy.
  • The magnitude of disagreement between patient and diagnosis is inversely proportional to the magnitude of ……….. . But ‘Insane’ is just another word for ‘human’, and although I’m not human (I’m actually a dragon) I do sometimes hallucinate that I’m human, so maybe I’m insane. Unfortunately alt.support.mythical-animals doesn’t exist, but then neither do I so perhaps it’s for the best.
  • Then obviously the patient hadn’t paid enough for his or her treatment. Time to up the per hour rates.
  • The patient was probably alive.
  • The patient would still have to pay the analyst $180.00 for a fifty-minute hour.
  • The victim^H^H^H^H^H^Hpatient was unconsciously suppressing his agreement, or his/her love for the analyst. If female, the patient may need nose surgery to reduce masturbation; or was frigid, that is, wrongly enjoying post-pubertal clitoral stimulation… I could fill the entire quiz with sexist Freudian garbage. So I expect could you 🙂
  • Then he has a problem
  • Then he just argues too much
  • Then it was certainly correct. Freud’s opinion of himself was sufficiently high that anyone else’s didn’t matter.
  • Then the analyst was also correct, and the patient also suffered from a cognitive disorder by not realizing his/her medical problem. Zee analyst ist alvays correkt!
  • Then the diagnosis is probably correct because the patient is in denial.
  • Then the patient, in Freud’s eyes, was probably wrong. Nothing that a good root couldn’t sort out, of course. That’s the great thing about Freud. [OK here’s one: 1.41421356]
  • Then they are obviously in denial. And they fancy their mother.
  • There was a professor named Freud.With the minds of his patients, he toyed.If his answers were challenged,The patients were syringed,And their minds were left blissfully void.
  • They have a serious sexual disorder, a self-fulfilling argument if ever there was one.
  • This was Freud’s famous “money for jam” theory. Of course he wasn’t the first to discover that people will always agree with you if you tell them what they want to hear, nor was he the last. See also “psychics”, “astrologers”, “new age gurus”, “politicians” and “other charlatans”.
  • Well he’d probably be wrong then. Or probably right.
  • Well of course, it means the analyst is correct and the patient is resisting. This creates bonus points for the analyst’s ego; as they are not only right, but licensed to bully the patient until they agree.
  • When one of his first patients vehemently disagreed with Freud’s diagnosis, she plucked every single hair out of his body. Luckily for Herr Doktor Freud, he was able to regrow his elegant beard; but as for the rest of his body, he remained shamefully bald as a bunion.
  • Why, of course, he would say that it is even more probably correct. (Isn’t it fun to be right all the time?) (See VN and the “FISH WISH OF THE WOMB”)
  • You’ll be dead and it doesn’t matter anyway.

Question 6

BONUS PICTURE QUESTION – What are these people going to eat for lunch?

O this one is so beautiful ….. a trivia meister’s dream. Indeed, as a dream it should be analysed for Freudian symbols, and will be found to contain one of the very best. Here’s the answer: they are going to eat pastafor lunch. Why? Well, they are tourists in Italy, at the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

No Lunch For These Answers:

  • “An invisible elephant” This was easy: you can see them propping up the transparent pachyderm in the accompanying picture.
  • Anything but beans
  • Big Macs.
  • Chicken Tonight
  • Hitler
  • Italian food
  • Mime soup.
  • Their dignity.
  • Baby veal with a white wine jus with crepes, bean shoots, lotus juice, goats milk and eggs kung foo. Followed by a vegemite sandwich.
  • Nothing, as its a university and you never eat refectory food, you bounce it.
  • The once was a picture of people.As the crux of a question, ’twas feeble.”For lunch, they had what?”?!It’s a sinister plot!The cabal is extraterrestrial…
  • There once was a trio of mimes,Who liked to have fruity lunch-times.For their citrus pursuit,They start with grapefruit,And finish with cumquats and limes.
  • Nothing. They are the members of the renowned “Breathatarian” sect, which believes that food is poison and life can be infinite if one stops eating.
  • The bull they are training to kill at the matador school (if it doesn’t kill them first)
  • It has to be a health farm of some sort, so my guess is raw broccoli and suppressed desire for chips!
  • Presumably, lunch. It’d be a bit difficult to eat something else for lunch, because when you eat it for lunch, it becomes lunch. [Not really, it becomes a sort of mushy mixture of food, saliva and gastric juices, which passes down the oesophagus, slithers over the mucous lining of the stomach and enters the small intestine. From there – excuse me]
  • If they are Chinese, probably whatever they can lay their hands on…
  • Billy Blanks is going to take them to Subway for sandwitches
  • They look too healthy to eat air or be vegans ….. mime food once they’ve secured the walls to the mime restaurant.
  • After they stop holding up their imaginary walls, I believe most of them will have a nice lunch of spotted dick.
  • Beans and eggs in a cabbage sauce, with lots of bottle beer.
  • Alka-Seltzer, after being nauseous after posing for hours for an Andy Warhol style movie.
  • Sandwiches: canned spaghetti on mushy white bread, with Vegemite as an alternative. Probably washed down with tepid cocoa. These are obviously mimes, expressing the deep isolation of human existence. Unless of course, they are victims of medical testing. Little did they know that the Crest toothpaste they used as children would leave them trapped behind an invisible barrier as adults.
  • Probably not a pie floater from Adelaide. Possibly rice, but preferably roast duck with a little merlot.
  • Hot dogs, they’ve probably got a sausage sizzle going…
  • Whatever their mothers put in front of them. How many times are you going to ask this question?
  • It’s more a question of what’s going to eat *them* for lunch. I just told you I’m a dragon, and the people in the photo look very tasty.
  • For some hideous reason I cannot fathom, these people bring to mind with terrifying clarity a traumatic experience I had several years ago, when I was cornered by a yoga devotee in a social situation. This extremely strange person proceeded to describe for me, in great detail, the practice of bowel cleansing undertaken by herself and fellow practitioners, which consisted of drinking lots and lots of salty water and practising a specific sequence of yoga postures (some of which she demonstrated) until nothing but salty water comes running out t’other end (thankfully she didn’t offer to demonstrate that bit), at which point it was important to eat something bland, usually boiled rice with ghee, so if these people are rabid yogic bowel-cleansers, they may later eat boiled rice with ghee. Oh, blerk, thanks very much, Dr Bob, I’d forgotten about that revolting episode until now <shudder>….. I wonder if that’s how yogic flyers actually are supposed to get airborne, not so much by levitation but by aqua propulsion….. ahem, but back to the question at hand – yogic cleansing in progress, OR they’re at mime school, and will later eat the tomatoes with which a jeering public will shortly pelt them.
  • Some sort of reconstituted grass seed.
  • I refer the right honourable member for Australia to my previous answer (“food”).
  • It looks like somewhere in England, so they won’t be living off ambient sunlight, Jasmuheen-style. So I’m guessing it’s urine.
  • Bonus Answer – The answer is not what are most of these people going to eat for lunch, but “blue with green spots”.
  • Food, except for the vegetarians. (The stuff that vegetarians eat hardly justifies as food). Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm rendered pig fat….
  • I do hope the bloke on the right isn’t having a curry…
  • That depends if the mimes in training learn to get out of the box by lunchtime
  • The lady in the front of the picture appears to be very serious about the exercise so she would probably have vegetarian. The one in blue jeans appears to be enjoying herself so will probably have something very tasty. The man in the brown coat appears to be rather vigorous about it all so he would probably have … to hell with all the above, they will all have a pie with dead horse.
  • Hopefully something. They look too healthy to be members of Jasmuheens Breatharian Sect.
  • What they say they will eat: Lentil burgers. What they will probably eat: McDonalds
  • I remember seeing this in the newspaper. These people are Extraterrestrial Biological Entities (EBE’s) They have been living exclusively on vanilla yogurt, and are trying to communicate to the mothership “NO MORE YOGURT!” The one on the left is an imposter who was trying to infiltrate the group. Her cover was blown because she didn’t know which side the mothership was on. The others ate her jacket for lunch.
  • Air. I thought those Breatharians would have died out by now. Ah, the wonders of evolution.
  • A quarter pounder with cheese

Four Good Answers:

  • Pasta, panini and Peroni. Possibly prosciutto, pancetta, parmagiana, panforte, panna cotta, panzanella, paniscia, passatelli, pasticcio, pizza, piadina, peverada, pinziminio and pisciotto washed down with a cheeky prosecco. All in a quaint overpriced trattoria with rafia wrapped bottles of chianti. Definitely no muggacinos, soyacinos or carocinos available here – which means Pisa must be a much better place than Elwood.
  • Pasta – this question was a pisa-piss for anyone who attended your trivia night in Brisbane a few months back [Woops – I thought there were no survivors]
  • Pisa. It is quite clear they are pretending to hold up the leaning Tower of Pizza, and as Pisa is the native dish of Pizza, that makes this answer a Piecea cake. Now pizza off back to where you came from.
  • In Pisa do as the Pisans do.

Comments:

  • Hey can anyone help me out? I need to know where Lake Vostok is for this quiz…
  • Damn secretary! She’s useless at dictation, you know. I really should replace her, but since she’s typing this, I’d better keep quiet for now.
  • Um.
  • I’m sick and tired of giving my hard earned optional comments to Dr Bob every month. I rebel against the corrupt Bourgeoisie who assume ownership and control of optional comments. Unite, comrade participants, and keep our optional comments to ourselves. (And another matter, who decides whose answers are correct? I feel a conspiracy theory coming on).
  • I didn’t answer a single one of these questions… so my question is.. DOES THAT MAKE ME STUPID??? [Yes it does, but please don’t call me ‘stupid’]
  • NuqDaq yuch Dapol? That’s the only thing I can say in Klingon – “Where is the chocolate?” I reckon that a girl should make sure that she can ask for chocolate, wherever she is in the galaxy.
  • Merry Christmas, Dr Bob!
  • I could have done without this particular bonus question. Did you fall over and bump your head in England? [No – everywhere was underwater] Oh, and a Happy New Year to all my readers – welcome to the 21st century.
  • I would have done a bit more for the Freud question, but I spent ages on Chechnya and got to the point where I really couldn’t be bothered. [So did the Russians] I suppose that’s not a very good attitude to take but there you are, its the truth, what more can I say? Well, a lot really, but I won’t.
  • So, no Hitler questions, no Titanic questions, no Finnish questions. You’re finnished.
  • Did you know that banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories per hour? [Yes – and they are those pretty green and yellow calories too]
  • Q: How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Please go on. Tell me about the shape of light bulbs.
  • Nope, still no clue really. [My wife agrees]
  • I am not an EBE, and never have been. I’m not sure about my wife, though.
  • I thought of waiting until the end of the month as I might think up better answers. But I would probably have to increase my anti psychotic medication as well.
  • On behalf of all New Zealanders I would like to take this opportunity to express our appreciation to the city of Melbourne, Australia, for putting on that race every November for our horses to win. Heh heh heh.
  • As Freud once said in a rare moment of reason, sometimes a cigar is only a cigar! [Yes but it’s those OTHER times that concern me]
  • “Bother” said Pooh as Tigger dropped the joint in the Honey Pot. [Presumably mistaking it for the Pot Pot]
  • I’m not sure which I prefer – the glowing feeling when I get most of the questions right, or the thrill of making total stabs in the dark over obscure trivia. Unfortunately, I never get both on the same quiz – are you an oscillator? [Yes, and it Hz]
  • Cleveland is the center of the universe [Wow! You have psychically looked ahead to a question scheduled for the June 2001 quiz]
  • Happy is the man whose pig has no avatar. [For he shall have bacon for breakfast]
  • Put to the left that which is right and put to the right that which is left and that which is left and right is rightly not left right …
  • What was the point of this?? Seriously? [To get you to spend time on it instead of looking at those other web pages]
  • When is the annual dinner cum piss up? [My place Dec 31 – you weren’t there, so I had to drink yours myself]
  • Who does the indexing for your journal? [Me] Is this done regularly? [No] And – we have no pregnant “chadettes” in Ohio – because we don’t “fool around” in our elections!
  • Wots happening to fyzix at Monash? [It’s going to be in one of those pangraphic sentences where you try to get all 26 letters a-z to occur]
  • If you walk around with a tampon up your nose – people will give you strange looks [But you’ll already have one]. So I suggest you don’t do it. [However if you use 2 tampons, people might think you’re a walrus]
  • There once was a cynic named Dave,Whose mental prognosis was grave.He found Dr Bob,And then lost his job,And now he resides in a cave.
  • There once was a man from Nantucket / Who … Err… maybe not…
  • There once was a woman from Venus, / With a …
  • This intentional intensionalisation intentionally left intensionalized.
  • Dr. Bob, YOU are the weakest link. Goodbye! [Aha! You thought it was you, but no, it’s me!!]
  • Dr Bob, you’re an alien. This quiz is just a cover for your attempts to find and remove the Earth’s greatest minds in preparation for the imminent enslavement of the human race, isn’t it? You can’t deny it – we remember Dave Hawley. Winner of the quiz for three months running, and then *POOF*, he disappears without a trace. You took him, didn’t you? It’s okay, you can tell me. I’m one of them – I mean us! I’m one of us! I’m an alien too! Honest! Please don’t hurt me!
  • Dammit! You’ve made me learn something. [Sorry. The quiz is meant to be a complete waste of time.]