ANSWERS for May 2010. Yes I know these are 10-12 days late, my excuse is that I have moved house. Next month I will have an even better excuse – but I will try to get these done on time. Please excuse me for something else too – I’ve had to edit some answers down, for a reason that will become clear next month. Some good ones below, and the author of this month’s winning answer is –
Why were the Raelians denied an Australian tax-exempt status as a religion?
An official religion must have a meeting place (ding!), people must come there to worship (ding!), and must believe in a spiritual being (bzzt!). The Raelians believe that aliens from outer space will come to visit Earth. Such aliens would be physical, not spiritual beings, therefore Raelianism does not qualify as an official religion.
- Because it’s a dodge to say God is supernatural but not that God is a space alien.
- Because they believe in “real” aliens on a “real” planet in spaaace. Not a made up supernatural deity. It makes perfect sense really. Doesn’t it?
- Because they could not spell and therefore failed the nation’s latest version of the hated Dictation Test, so were forced to pay tax as a result.. Everyone knows that their outfit is correctly spelled “Austraelian” but the blokes that run the show are dyslexic or illiterate or maybe closet Catholics or even Poms – so they stuffed up the prefix.
- Because they didn’t pray hard enough for it.
- [Winning Answer] Too credible
- Because the tax office thought they meant “Raeleneans”, and having a cliche name is not a religion. (With apologies to all the Raelenes)
St (or at the time, Sister) Mary McKillop was once excommunicated by the Catholic Church. Was Mother Teresa excommunicated?
No, but an exorcism was ordered in 1997 by the Catholic Archbishop of Calcutta.
- She was exorcised, which is 40% of ‘excommunicated’. “The Archbishop of Calcutta, Henry Sebastian D’Souza, said he ordered a priest to perform an exorcism on Mother Teresa with her permission when she was first hospitalized with cardiac problems because he thought she may be under attack by the devil.”
- She was married??????? Sorry, I misread the question.
- Only in Aruba by the Pope Hitler, disguised as a Icelandic Aardvark.
- Actually, as an Albanian she was excommunisticated. I do wish you would get your spelling right, Dr Bob.
- I don’t think so. But she got a Nobel Prize which is arguably even better.
- Yes, she was thrown out of the church because she wasn’t interested in abusing young boys.
Muslims must normally pray towards the Ka’aba in Mecca, but where is it permissible for a Muslim to pray facing in any direction?
Inside the Ka’aba itself
- Balancing on both the North and South Poles. Plus in space: “Malaysia’s space agency, Angkasa, convened a conference of 150 Islamic scientists and scholars last year to wrestle with these and other questions. The resulting document, “A Guideline of Performing Ibadah (worship) at the International Space Station (ISS)”, was approved by Malaysia’s National Fatwa Council earlier this year. According to the report, determining the qibla should be “based on what is possible” for the astronaut, and can be prioritized this way: 1) the Ka’aba, 2) the projection of Ka’aba, 3) the Earth, 4) wherever.”
- I’m sure they allow it anywhere.
- Inside the Ka’aba in Mecca. It makes perfect sense really.
- On a carousel. At least for 1/360 th of the time they’ll be right.
- When perched atop the Ka’aba.
- Anywhere – but only if the good ol’ compass stuffs up.
- We did this on QI. Have you ever watched my show, QI? You should, it’s great and so should all your quizzees. [/spam]
How was the situation resolved when the scholar Erasmus refused to give ground over the authenticity of the Johannine Comma?
Erasmus was carefully supplied with a special version of the Greek text, frantically copied out in an edition of one.
- ‘For there are three [that bear record in heaven, the Father, the Word and the Holy Ghost, and these three are one. And there are three that witness on earth], the Spirit, the Water and the Blood and these three agree in one.’ ‘The words in  are the corruption. “Stunica, one of the chief editors of the Complutensian Polyglot, went public with his defamation of Erasmus and insisted that in the future editions he return the verse. Erasmus agreed that he would insert the verse in a future edition of his Greek New Testament on one condition: that his opponents produce a Greek manuscript in which the verse could be found. And so one was produced. The manuscript provided to Erasmus was a sixteenth-century Greek translation of a Latin manuscript, made to order. Despite his misgivings, Erasmus was true to his word.” Or, they got him drunk on communion wine.
- Erasmus and the editor battled it out in a game of nude twister
- He changed it in a later version. It makes perfect sense really.
- Sorry, you lost me at Complutensian. I haven’t done the quiz for a while, are most the answers Iceland still? I guess it’s something to do with Iceland.
- The chief editor, a large loud Latin lout, grabbed the wretched Erasmus around his polyglottis and squeezed and squeezed until his comma complutely capitulated, as of course did Erasmus.
- Using “Rock, paper, scissors” Best out of three.
(From Bad Lands by Tony Wheeler.) Khomeini himself was once asked for a ruling on what should happen to a chicken if a man had had sex with it. Could the violator barbecue the buggered bird? No! thundered Khomeini. Certainly not! And neither could his family – or their neighbours. How about somebody who lived two doors away?
…. well, that was OK.
- No problemo: enjoy! “Fried fornicated fowl is all right further down the road.”
- Of course the people up the street can eat it, why not? It makes perfect sense really.
- Only on the downwind side, lest the violator smell the offending bird.
- Wow, a question involving bestiality! Is this Dr Bobs quiz or 4chan?
- Yes they’re allowed, and better still, they don’t have to add any salt.
- You mean the Joneses at number 42, Dr Bob? Of course they could – and they do it often if the smell of barbecued buggered bustard that frequently and pungently wafts into our place at number 38 is any guide. Naturally I don’t mind or, if I do, I certainly don’t say anything in these enlightened times and nor should I. What goes on between Mr Jones and a plump young bustard in the privacy of their own cage is none of my business, I say.
Mohammed, peace be upon him, before he was visited by the Angel Gabriel and given the big gig as prophet, and is thus OK to depict.
- A woman wearing a green costume, reminiscent of a mode of dress I witnessed while travelling in eastern Lombok. For some reason she is standing in front of a pig-hunters searchlight.
- Actually it looks exactly like a guy called Roman that I went to school with. But it’s supposed to be Mohammed. Doesn’t look anything like him though. But it’s an OK painting because it depicts the prophet before he want mad. Oh sorry before he stated seeing visions and hearing voices. It makes perfect sense really.
- As Magritte said about a pipe, ‘Ce n’est ci pas Mohammed’ looking like a green labrador retriever in a black velvet painting. Hey, he’s an anagram for: ‘Damn emo, man’.
- I don’t know, but he’s standing in front of my telly. Get out the way, idiot.
- It’s Mother Teresa in her days as a young revolutionary in the Albanian Greens Party. But a birth defect meant she had a permanent compassionate head tilt which made her quite unsuitable as a revolutionary, so soon after this painting was made she became a nun instead.
- Hey Dr Bob. It’s James from Bolton. I forgot all about your quiz for the last few years, but I’m back, and I think you’ll agree back on tip top form. xx
- A very insightful quiz this month. Some very important questions asked. It makes perfect sense really.
- These questions are difficult to find humour in Dr Bob. Really not very funny (in the ha ha sense, rather than the loco sense) subjects are the religious……
- Would an apostate young Muslim play with a Mecca no set?