Answers for June 2007

Gosh, more answers on time because I’m going on holiday again! Finding a WINNER this time was as usual very hard, but the most tortuous and gratuitous mention of Schicklgruber’s errant lad clinches it for –

Michael Fitzpatrick

Question 1

The Pope is often addressed as “Holy Father”, even though he’s supposed to be celibate. Nevertheless, have there been father & son popes?


Yes. [But I note that this answer, although technically correct, does not really have that extra something that we earnestly yearn for]

Additional Answers

  • Hormisdas (514 CE) was the definitely the father of Silverius (536 CE). Hormisdas was married with children, before joining the priesthood. Sergius III (897 CE) was allegedly the father of John XI (931 CE), but given the politics of the age it’s hard to be sure.
  • Pope Hormisdas had himself a son before joining the priesthood who grew up to be Pope Silverius. It makes one wonder how bad their wife/mother was that both of them swore off women for life.
  • Actually I went to a fancy dress party a few weeks ago with an ecclesiastical theme and there WAS a father son combo there. However they were dressed as nuns with massively fake breasts so I guess they weren’t exactly Popes.
  • But a Pope is a 1960s washing machine. Do washing machines have holy fathers? Apart from deus ex machina machines, that is.
  • Celibacy is a relatively new innovation in the papacy. Wives daughters mistresses sons all kept the pope company. John XI was supposed to be the son of Pope Sergius III. Pope Alexander VI was the nephew of Pope Callixtus III. All this makes Melbourne’s gang land goings on look very tame. [Indeed so. Melburnian gangsters are often caught and brought to book. And some of them are quite wealthy, but not on the scale of the Vatican]
  • Celibate? I bet the pope has a good toss every now and then. The touch of God comes in mysterious ways.
  • Don’t question Catholicism, Dr Bob. You are supposed to have FAITH. On second thought, Father & Son Popes would make a good band name.
  • I believe the Holy Father is just the reference to his status as god’s representative on earth. He is celibate and thus never sired any children that we know of, unless it was one of the older pope’s and of course anything went then didn’t it?
  • I cannot answer this question. There is an apostrophe missing from he’s and there is a risk of a psychotic episode. I have a phobia about missing punctuation. [Ha! I have a complete paranoia about it. That apostrophe was there when I sentthe textt to the Webmaster … space aliens have stolen it. Ive heard that some UFOs dont have enough apostrophes in the crafts propulsion unit – arrgh, there go three more!]
  • I guess so.
  • Let’s see, 50-50, I’ll go with, wait no..yes..perhaps
  • Not to my knowledge, but the nature of this question suggests that there could have been.
  • Of course – altar boys are his sons and his flock after all
  • Of course. Nothing as good as Daddy prewarming the See for you.
  • Spiritually speaking . . . yes, the pope is “father” to all Roman Catholics, including the future next pope, who is a “son” of the pope along with other Roman Catholics.
  • That we know about? Hormisdas and Silverius – Sergius III and John XI – Hmm.. Turns out our Borgia pope just slept with his successor’s sister.
  • Wasn’t there a Pope Cat Stevens I somewhere – the first Muslim Pope? – He wrote Father and Son.
  • Well, there were the famous Johnny & Johnny Jr Popes, locksmiths by trade. Pope & Son the sign said. About Mama Pope we know very little.
  • Well, yeah. Robbie and Julie Pope from number 24 when I was little had a Dad – Mr Pope. So not only are there father and son Popes, there’s daughters as well.
  • With all those flowing robes a chap is bound to get a bit confused… But probably in name only.
  • With the varying religious views on in-vitro fertilisation, methinks not…
  • Yeah. One set that is admitted and known and another bastard son who is not admitted. I forget who they were.
  • Yes, I am sure since they only have to be celibate after they are priests.
  • Yes, we are all children of the whole .. eh farther?
  • Yes. Even the Pope couldn’t help himself. What’s happening to moral standards today?!
  • Yes. I could fossick around trying to find out who they were, when they were running around and when popes became celibate, but I can’t be bothered, suffice to say there were.
  • Yes. Pope Hornyass fathered Pope Sliver-us. Pope Surge-on-us may have fathered Pope John XXX too. [And why was he called John XXX? After the files on his computer.]
  • Yes. Pope St Hormisdas was the father of Pope Silverius; and Pope Sergius III the father of Pope John XI.
  • Yes. St. Peter, Pope no. 1, allegedly had a daughter named Petronilla, who unlike her dad was a virgin!
  • Yup. John Paul II was my dad. We had a bit of a falling out in the 30’s when I joined the Hitler youth.

Question 2

The papal tiara is very heavy, having three crowns and all that, and is pretty exhausting to wear during long ceremonies. On top of that – to cap it all – the crowning irony – is that it can also be the wrong hat size for the incumbent. How did a series of popes overcome these difficulties?


In 1800 they made a papier-mache tiara, which got used until at least 1845. Napoleon captured Rome and stole all the jewels including the tiara, later in a fit of remorse he made a new gold tiara and gifted it to the Pope, but he deliberately made it too small to wear. Not very remorseful really.

Additional Answers

  • After they’ve been in the job a while, their head swells to match the hat.
  • He had a fake hat from made from papier maché that weighed much less.
  • A helicopter with an invisible wire under it to take the weight off Popey’s head.
  • A series of inserts perhaps? One or a combination of them should fit.
  • As mighty robot impersonators, they can expand their head size to ensure a snug fit, furthermore they series of hydraulics can bear the weight with ease.
  • By bending the crowns into an ovoid (or spoon) shape
  • By having a new one made, in some cases of papier-mache. By having it suspended (manually or mechanically) over their thrones?
  • By removing the excess cortex if too large, or wrapping a pair of footy socks about their pin like heads if too large.
  • Catholic Law allows the pope to have a traditional coronation, or an inaugeration in which the tiara is inverted, filled with red wine. [Crikey, that could be painful .. depends where they put the auger] The pope then has to chug the entire tiara’s worth of wine in one breath while the throngs chant blood of Christ, blood of Christ . . .
  • Different padding
  • Duh! They either grew or shrank their heads.
  • Had it mounted on their seat
  • Have you seen the size of the collars on the papal gown? very large. I am confident they support the tiara from the back. Either that or there is an adjustable inner ring, much like a bicycle helmet that fits all.
  • He sucks it up and deals with it.
  • helium balloons defenatly [Wow – they throw them out of the window?]
  • make new lighter one out of “space age materials” that THE CHURCH HAVE BEEN KEEPING SECRET FROM THE POPULATION….
  • Many new tiaras were always made for the popes, lightweight ones came about in the last 100yrs or so, to my knowledge.
  • Many popes had new ones made up that were lighter, smaller or larger to suit their heads. The concept of the Triple Crown was later adopted by horse racing. Only Catholic horses eligible to win a Triple Crown.
  • Maybe they just had a new one made? When none of the collection would fit? Maybe even sometimes out of paper mache? Did I spell that wrong? I don’t care. I just asked my wife to pass me a beer and she actually did. [With the glass?] It’s a first. I can look foreward to life now for at least half an hour
  • Miraculously! Jehovah has always come through, making the hat light enough for the pope, and a perfect fit.
  • Pray for divine levitation of the offending item ….or a smaller head.
  • Short ceremonies.
  • Stuffed them with toilet paper.
  • Swelled heads.
  • The miracle of velcro
  • The old school popes found a way to have their own tiara made. Some of them guilted their home towns into donating one. Others took advantage of the vast wealth of the Roman Catholic Church and had one made themselves. Recent popes (Known in some circles as the “Whipper-Snappers”) have had to cope with shrinking funds (Due to the vast number of legal settlements to former alter-boys) by giving up the whole coronation gig and simply refuse to wear the tiara at all.
  • The papal series (non convergent or course) simply had some other tiara’s constructed. Right size; lighter; plastic etc.
  • The popes converted to Islam. Longer standing adherents then promptly cut off the (ex)papal head for apostasy or ingrown toenails or something else that affronted Allah. On the plus side, the severed skull could then be painlessly compressed or expanded to fit the crown rather than having to damage the precious piece of millinery every time a new pope trotted along.
  • They each had a new one made. 22 still exist.
  • They folded paper napkins to the right size. Duh
  • They got their own made. The new bloke is rather fond of hats. I reckon he’s got more than the Queen Mother. Maybe they ARE the Queen Mother’s?
  • They got their tiaras to be made out of papier-mâché.
  • They had someone hold the tiara above their heads.
  • They invented the line “Size is not important”. I’ve lost interest in this quiz…
  • They made new ones for themselves or used tiaras made of paper mache’. Lately they’ve stopped wearing them altogether.
  • They shared out the crown between themselves. No burden is too heavy when everybody lifts! And as for the wrong hat size – well, they just put up with it, I suppose.
  • They shrunk their heads using voodoo. Hell, I don’t know.
  • They utilised genetic engineering technology to change the sizes of their heads at will. Don’t question the technique – it’s from GOD.

Question 3

During the lengthy coronation ceremony, in a cathedral stuffed with people, no air conditioning, and wearing the full set of heavy garments, the new Pope is liable to overheat. How do they cool him down?


The Magic Word, Which Nobody Got: Flabella They fan him with ostrich feathers. But Pope Paul VI discontinued the practice. The Catholic Encycolpedia states “The fans formerly used at the Vatican were, in 1902, presented to Mrs. Joseph Drexel of Philadelphia, U. S. A., by Leo XIII” – obviously there is an unwritten story here.

Additional Answers

  • Air conditioned body suit made again from “space age materials” that THE CHURCH HAVE BEEN KEEPING SECRET FROM THE POPULATION…
  • Blow on him.
  • Boggles the imagination… ostrich feather fannies under the kilt.
  • Did you ever see the Marylin Monroe flick ‘The Seven Year Itch’? That’s how they do it.
  • Fans blow up his dress
  • Fans? Ice? Ice and fans? Maybe ice and fans and bellows? Hey The Pope has plenty of fans and on a bad day has been know to bellow.
  • He wears no undies, and has a under robe air conditioner. Actually i have no idea.
  • He’s at the front further away from all the people, isn’t as hot there, or the same technology they use for F1 drivers. My best guess. Gatorade is another possibility.
  • hose him down with holy water
  • ice
  • ice vests
  • Little air-con hiding underneath those baggy gowns, of course. Why do you think the gowns are baggy otherwise?
  • Micro fans in the gowns or some other cooling mechanism sewn into the gowns…or maybe the chair is airconditioned?
  • no underwear
  • No undies, and his throne has a hole in it so he gets a nice breeze around the goolies, and they wave those big things with the ostrich feathers about to move the air. Punkawallahs in frocks. What a delightful thought. Though the last three have opted to give the throne bit a miss and get about via the Popemobile which is no doubt airconditioned, thus overcoming the overheating problem. Sooks. They oughta try doing an ANZAC Day parade in full highland dress and playing the bagpipes.
  • Obviously with insulated liquid nitrogen longjohns.
  • Once again, the answer is divided by tradition. The old-timers used a method that involved four cardinals who voted for “The other guy” and a bellows. The “Whipper-Snappers” have done away with the whole coronation process, including refusing to take the traditional Papal Oath.
  • Papal cooling was administered via continuous colonic irrigation with Lourdes holy water. (available post coronation for baptisms, exorcisms, etc)
  • Plenty of cold beer and a battery powered hand operated fan.
  • Putting his feet in water
  • Sink a coldie
  • Sit him on a block of ice.
  • The new pope converts to Islam. Longer standing adherents then promptly cut off the (ex)papal head for apostasy or ingrown toenails or something else that affronts Allah. This act lowers the papal body temperature quite quickly, albeit with a degree of finality.
  • The popes typically “go commando”.
  • The reason the cap is REALLY so heavy is because he has a built in air conditioning.
  • The same way Marilyn Monroe did it,with underwear from the freezer.
  • The smallest altar boy hides under the pope’s robes with battery powered fan with which he directs a cooling breeze at those parts of the pope most in need of cooling.
  • There’s a dwarf under the robes with a little electric fan (and a block of ice made from frozen holy water under the hat)
  • They don’t have him fanned by muscular Nubians? That must have been in the pre-Vatican II days. Ice under the throne? Battery powered fans ‘neath his skirts? Actually, popes have been crowned in many different locales, many of them outdoors.
  • They don’t, he is a robot impersonator & can survive incredible heats (except molten metal, refer “T2”)
  • They fan him with ostrich feathers.
  • They fanned him.
  • They remind him constantly of his vow of celibacy.
  • They shove superheated (+2*C) ice into his crown and down his heavy garments. It is superheated so it’s not TOO cold and he doesn’t scream as much.
  • They used to have a misting reticulation system, but it made the cardboard soggy and part of the frock curl up. So now he has a poly/cotton frock and gown and wears nothing underneath. Doesn’t THAT conjure up some stuff eh?
  • Transcendental Meditation
  • With a fan. Or internal aircon. Maybe some ice in his pants?
  • They fanned him with ostrich feathers (a Catholic ostrich, one assumes). What is uncertain, however, is whether the feathers have been removed from the ostrich.

Question 4

What is the correct procedure, based on centuries of wisdom, to be followed when somebody finds a possibly dead pope?


Go and fetch a designated official, who hits the possibly dead pope sharply on the head with a little silver hammer, to determine whether he is actually dead or not. The official also calls out his birth name while doing this, so the change of name upon becoming Pope can’t stick all that well.

Additional Answers

  • Ah yes I know this one. Call 911 Bring!! Bring!!. Them “Emergency”. Me “I think I’ve found a possibly dead Pope” Them “Oh yes” Me “Yes, what should I do based on centuries of wisdom”? Them “Sir where are you”? Me “In the woods? Them “OK so you found a possibly dead Pope in the woods”? Me “Yes it might have been a bear” Them “A bear”? Me “Yes but what should I do”? Them “Well sir the first thing you should do is make sure he is dead” Me “OK”. BANG!!(that’s a gunshot). Me “OK what next”?
  • “Oh crap. The pope is dead and I touched things in his room. Oh well, he wont miss this painting…” Then they kill him to be sure…
  • “um dude are you like dead”
  • 1) Nail his feet to the perch 2) Place back on display 3) Deny
  • 1) Shake and shout 2) Clear airways 3) Start CPR 4) Call an ambulance 5) Observe and alert
  • A keg party, to remember the pope as he was.
  • Again, due to their robotic nature, one just needs to install some fresh 9volt batteries.
  • Ask the Beatles. “Bang Bang Maxwell’s silver hammer made sure that he was dead”
  • bury him !
  • Call for the Cardinal Chamberlain who will knock three times on the pope’s head with a silver hammer and call his birth name three times. Clearly this inspired the Beatles and Tony Orlando with their hits: Knock Three Times, Maxwell’s Silver Hammer and I Call Your Name.
  • Call Vatican City 9.1.1., to get an ambulance over there.
  • Check pulse. If dead,check gender. There has been a female pope before! Or is that an urban legend?
  • CPR cranial percussive research repeated three times to ensure result
  • Create a conspiracy theory.
  • DRABC, and if he’s really carked it, see if there’s anything worth nicking in there. That ring must be worth a quid. Oh, and if he shows signs of coming round, tap him in the head with a hammer (three times just to be sure).
  • First is the wailing and gnashing of teeth. Next, the Cardinal Chamberlain is alerted and checks the allegedly ex-pope by tapping on his head with a silver hammer and calling his birth name three times. If he is dead, the Cardinal Chamberlain then retrieves the Pope’s Fisherman’s Ring and seals, which are destroyed. The former pope then lies in state in St. Peter’s Basilica, and is interred. [Like the people involved in the Second Defenestration of Prague – woops that’s in this month’s quiz]
  • Hit him on the head with a hammer – it’s kill or cure!
  • Hit the pope on the head three times with a hammer while saying his name. If the pope blasphemes he is still alive. [… for a little while, until they have prepared the faggots and stake at which blasphemers are burned. But I want that job. I wanna hit the pope’s head with a hammer!]
  • If you think he is dead give him a prod or test his pulse to find out first. If he is dead then call the royal guard if you are in the vatican at the time. Have a good excuse for being there if you are not supposed to be. If he is alive (although they all look pretty dead) then give him a shake to wake him up or a cup of tea.
  • In John Paul 2’s case I think they just preserved him and kept him going for a few years. I saw Weekend at Bernie’s and he looked suspiciously familiar.
  • In typical catholic fashion it’s long winded and hilarious. Cardinal Camerlengo taps the Pope on the forehead with a silver hammer three times, and asks him if he is dead, (eh, Karol, are a you a dead?) if no answer, the Pope is solemly declared dead (but what if he’s deaf and a heavy sleeper?) his ring is removed and it and the papal seal are trashed then the Pope’s modest abode is sealed. Then follows nine days of lots of sitting down and standing up and novenas and stuff in latin and lots of coffee and plonk and waving smoking handbags around prolly. Then the Camerlengo calls a conclave and they hang out in the Sistine Chapel and have a natter about who the new chap will be, this takes anything from two to three weeks and is sooo bloody boring do I need go on? [Actually it is quite interesting if you are one of the nominees for the job]
  • Knock him on the head three times with a wooden hammer. Check his pulse, elect a new pope.
  • Make sure he’s dead.
  • Originally, the camerlengo would be called on to rap the unconscious pope three times on the head with a silver hammer while calling out his name. Failure to respond would lead to the declaration of death. Since the unfortunate incident involving Pope Paul VI and the communion wine, the process has been updated to include playing “Maxwell’s Silver Hammer” by the Beatles on the holy stereo with the volume set at 11. (Pope Paul VI’s camerlengo was a huge fan of “This is Spinal Tap”)
  • Poke him (or her) to make sure he (or she) is really dead, then elect another one
  • Poke him with a stick.
  • put a mirror under his nose
  • Run
  • Run away quickly before anyone notices
  • See my previous CPR jokette ( little joke ) perhaps not one of my golden moments of humour…but definitely a silver one.
  • Slap him about & say “Oi, Father, [Not “oy vey, father”] Are you okay?”
  • Tap his head with a silver mallet. (If the pope in question is particularly unpopular, ‘making sure he is dead’ may involve using a silver sledge hammer)
  • The possibly-dead pope automatically is converted to Islam. Longer standing adherents then promptly cut off the (ex) papal head for apostasy or ingrown toenails or something else that affronts Allah. One is then assured that the pope is, in truth, dead.
  • To bury him right there and then, and praise the LORD almighty for such a lucky archaeological find.
  • To convey an evil plot and take power of the papacy, before anyone else notices and takes over said power.
  • To pray to Jesus to resurrect him.
  • Use a mirror to see if there’s moisture on it
  • You say “Akurei taisan!” (Go Away You Evil Spirit)… Oh, excuse me, that’s the Sailor Mars’ way.

Question 5

Dr Bob once subscribed to a postal chess magazine, whose rabidly atheistic editor refused to allow the Pope to play in any of the games (if he had applied to do so, which frankly was rather unlikely). Due to complaints, the editor was forced to change this policy. What did he do?


He offered a new chess game, for popes only.

Additional Answers

  • A back flip – reminding his constituants that this was not a core promise – blamed the previous government – sorry -editor – and sent all the pawns off to Nauru.
  • A lot of moaning i imagine, then maybe shut down the mag to TEACH YOU WHINGERS ALL A LESSON!..Sorry, my caps lock key keeps slipping..
  • Allow the pope to play, but without bishops.
  • Allowed him to play during Friday mass!
  • Because some blokes in clown pants put a knights head in his bed. Geddit?
  • Changed it to say the Pope could play when he was in town
  • Changed the policy to “NO ROBOTS” therefore excluding the robot impersonating the Pope.
  • Changed the postal chess magazine to “Girls, Garters & Chess”
  • Claim the pope has unfair advantage as he has God on his side…
  • Define “he”. Does “he” refer to Dr Bob, Mr Editor or the Pope???
  • Exclude all residents of Vatican City, which of course then excluded the pope anyway. Ha!
  • Forfeit all games which included a papal participant? Send invitations to the whole college of cardinals inviting them to play? Produce an ‘all pope’ issue?
  • Gave the Pope a handicap by taking away his Bishops?
  • He allowed the use of additional bishops instead.
  • He challenged the Pope to a game, with the winner taking editorial control of the magazine. Unfortunately for him Pope Paul VI was an expert chess player and defeated him in 37 moves, notably using a Boden’s Mate to win. The Pope quietly ran the magazine until his death in 1978. The Pope’s control of the magazine was not notable for any change in tone or content, and it is widely believed that he played little part in the day to day operations.
  • He changed the bishop piece to mullah just to annoy him.
  • He invited the Pope to a death chess game against the Devil. Since the Pope pulled out, the editor rephrased the rule from “No Pope allowed” to “No Cowards allowed”.
  • He just made it to the discretion of the editor. Any of those Vatican City entries just disappeared.
  • He let the Pope play one game every 10 years. That’s about as much as an atheist can cop.
  • He let the pope’s representative play. As is usual with politicians.
  • He sent a magazine to the vatican
  • He set up a tournament in which the Pope (God’s representative on earth) had Santa in the first round. The winner was to take on the Easter Bunny.
  • He simply said the pope could play if he wanted to.
  • I dunno. But there is a Gay chess magazine. That would probably have scared the Pope off.
  • Made it strip chess, a raunchy but little known version of the more “commercial” chess that we all know (and fall asleep) over. Sorry Dr Bob- you are showing your “nerdity”.
  • Not quite sure if the he referred to is Dr Bob, the atheistic editor or the pope. In any case he was made referee and judiciary and had a wonderful time with the penalties and the cool shorts.
  • Permitted the pope to play provided he did not do so ‘ex cathedra’.
  • Postal chess? Don’t you have any mates to play with? I suspect the Editor did nothing and told the complainants to get a life.
  • Raised the subscription for inhabitants of the Vatican to AU$1M.
  • Refused to let anybody participate.
  • Said he could play, but only on Sundays
  • Sent a subscription to the pope
  • The complaints led to some serious soul searching and, in a moment of spiritual clarity, he gave up his atheistic ways and joined the Roman Catholic Church.
  • The cover of the next postal chess magazine had a picture of the editors middle finger with a headline “Don’t try and push that stuff on me!”
  • The editor converted to Islam. Longer standing adherents then promptly cut off the editorial head for apostasy or ingrown toenails or something else that affronted Allah. Dr Bob was quite pleased but could not, for obvious reasons, admit to it publicly.
  • Who cares
  • Who would complain? Dear Editor, please let the Pope play. Hardly. I suppose he relented and the Pope thought yaaay and got busy posting off his moves. But the mail took too long and he was disqualified anyway. [Yes I suppose the game could have gone: White: A.Pope Black: Dr Bob 1. P-Q4 P-Q4 2. Thunderbolt destroys White]

Question 6

Who’s this?


Pope Hilarius

Additional Answers

  • A dead ringer for my Great Aunt Berice sitting in a swim ring holding a copy of the CWA cookbook.
  • A lady pope whose name I have forgotten, as I just couldn’t be stuffed remembering nonsense.
  • A pope with a tiara thingy on his head, a cross thingy in one hand and a bible thingy in the other. Simple.
  • A pope. His happy visage results from contemplating his imminent conversion to Islam and his only slightly less imminent head shedding. At least the crown fits.
  • A pope. Kinda obvious isn’t it?
  • A pope. Hmm… a pope recent enough to be pictured in a hand-colored woodcut. A beatified pope (note halo) A pope in a tutu. A pope being eaten (martyred by?) a carnivorous flower. A pope with no legs. A French schismatic pope–note cross of Lorraine in place of crozier. A beardless pope, hence pope Joan?
  • A very awkward and uncomfortable pope [But they all are]
  • A very ugly old man. No doubt some old pope as he is wearing a tiara (which could actually mean it is a 14th century Miss World contestant).
  • A witch holding a blue book.
  • Ah yes Papal triple tiered crown, Papal staff. Old style painting with a halo. Lets see The Archbishop of Canturbury about 460 AD? HA HA HA HA. That’s not just funny it’s Hilarius, seriously it’s really Hilarius. Ho Ho Ho. so Hilarius. Even my mate Hilary thinks it’s more than funny.
  • An old dude with a hat and a staff. Who else?
  • At a quick guess, I’d say it was a Pope or Maggie Smith
  • Dunno. But his hat seems to fit properly. It’s Pope Hilarius. What a misnomer, miserable looking bugger he is.
  • From the tutu, it’s obviously the little known Balletomane Pope and cross dresser – Nureyev I. He was crowned Pope but then the kicked him out when they found he was only in it for the dresses (and the cross)…
  • Funny looking fellow isnt he. The more I look the funnier he gets in fact I’d say he was Hilarius.
  • Hmmm. Tricky one Dr. Is it the pope with a staff about to go for a bit of bed time reading if he can struggle out of his father’s tiara?
  • I think it is a pope.
  • Jessica Rowe
  • John Pope Jr., lock pick and address book in hand, ready for a new working day.
  • Looks a little like my nana, bloody sour faced misery guts of a thing she was. She had a big stick too. But without the nasty looking spiky bits, though she would have if she could have. Noice tutu, or is he going for a dip?
  • Looks like a protest against Catholicism. For one the picture has a woman in the popes gear (heaven f-ing forbid) and she’s got a pack of cards ready to play black jack.
  • Michael Jackson.
  • One of those rare popes being able to fly, on a rug or cushion or something.
  • Peter Costello delivering the budget
  • Pope Hilarious with his “Whoopie Crossier” and Holy Green Jokebook.
  • Pope Hilarius the First, 461-468 (Knock – knock!)
  • Pope Joan
  • Someone who wishes he could set down the staff, take off the crown, remove the robe, and begin to read the excellent book he has.
  • someone with a stick
  • The apochryphal Pope Joan possibly or maybe some other papal dude from around that time.
  • The chap who beat me at “Texas Hold-em” in my local pub, just look at the fake 5 of clubs he’s holding!
  • The hierophant in a Tarot pack.
  • The Pope of Planet XT324HTS in Diprotodon Galaxy some 45 million light years away from Earth.
  • The Queen of clubs
  • This is his greatness Pope John Mark Peter Tim Michael Norris Richard Head (note especially the last two names).
  • You and your Lutheran propaganda, Dr. Bob. You’re probably just upset that you cannot afford an indulgence. [Well, over my life I have indulged in quite a lot of things. Done most of the list …. so now I just want the pope to indulge me, in his own special way.]


  • I used to have a Pope washing machine – the clothes came out infallibly clean…
  • My father had a Pope motor mower when I was a kid. Absolute piece of crap, as I recall. The stupid thing is, he replaced it with another Pope. History repeats!
  • All this reminds me of a joke. [Well I’m very happy for you. I am in a slough of despond over all this.] :-A young monk, new to the monastery, noticed that the scribes were copying the scriptures from copies, not originals. He expressed his concern to the abbot that any mistakes in the copies would be passed on, and the scriptures would become corrupted. The abbot replied that this is the way it had always been done but the point was valid, and he would check it out. He descended into the vaults to look over the originals, and he was gone a long time.With some concern, the young monk went looking for him and found him sobbing with abandon, his tears pouring upon his frock. “What is the matter, my good abbot?” asked the monk, to which the abbot choked out, “In the original, the word was ‘celebrate’!”
  • Bloody Catholics. Get that chook off the lounge right now.
  • Evaluate away.
  • Found the site via richard dawkins via the god delusion [How ironic]
  • Gday
  • Hey Doctor Bob. Last month’s picture question. Sorry it was the band not the football team. But yes the band was plying so the question was OK This quiz is Hilarius.
  • Hey remember what Ron Wyatt said about the USA should invade Iraq and Iran? Well it seems Wyatt is a very influential person in american politics. [Despite being dead?]
  • How I love night-shift!
  • I can’t believe the full answers for April quiz are already out and it’s only the 7th today. I am in quiz heaven… ah… mmmmmm…. ooohhhhh…
  • I found some wonderful things googling this lot. Who’d have thought Catholics could be so much fun. I expected to find the numbers 666666 come up in the box. A a a men.
  • I know nothing about catholicism and dont practice religion on the whole, which would explain why I dont know much of this
  • Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that if you put a purple cloak on the current Pope he’d be a dead ringer for the evil Emperor from Star Wars? BTW Dr Bob, I’m back after two years. It took me that long to get out of bloody Innisfail.
  • Like the site and the quiz. Puzzling. [Well of course it’s puzzling, it’s a trivia quiz]
  • Looking forward to mid-June when the answers are posted and mid-July when the church excommunicates all the Catholic quizlings.
  • Not exactly sure what this quiz is about, but curious to find out.
  • Nothing happened to the “Old Jersey”, it’s still a British island in the English Channel. Unfortunately, that’s on the wrong side of the pond, so I spend my time in the New one. Hey, if you can recycle the joke from the last time I won, I can recycle my response!
  • One has a one word answer, two has a two word answer, . . ., six has a six word answer. I could not limit this comment to seven words, though. Well my lucky number is 56,925 so maybe I should use that. -Crack knuckles- begin typing- “My life began on a snowy winter’s day in . . .
  • Panis angelicus, Fit panis hominum Dat panis coelicus Figurister minum. O resmi rabili manducat hominum, Pauper, pauper Servus et humilis.
  • Postal chess magazine? No wonder it takes a month to get the final answers!
  • Sorry – didn’t feel like googling for popes.
  • Thanks
  • The Answers In Genesis museum of Ken Ham (Australia’s revenge for Viet Nam and Iraq against the USA) opens in Boone County, Kentucky, on USA Memorial Day, 28 May 2007. There will be a pro-science, pro-evolution “Rally For Reason” at 9 AM that day near the gates of that “fantasyland” where both non-believers and religious people who favor mainline science will peacefully protest this insult from Australia.
  • The quality of you skeptics journal has drastically declined since the late 1990s. I mean, it’s all nice and flashy and colourful and century schoolbook and that, but the content clearly shows that most of you Skeptics believe too much of what the mass media has to say (esp. in political affairs). Where’re your critico-analytical abilities gone?! Shiver me timbers!
  • This may have come through twice, if so, ignore the least funny entries.
  • Well, that was fun.
  • What? No Icelandic popes?
  • Why popes? Because they crossdress?
  • Will Dr Bob convert to Islam? Will longer standing adherents then promptly cut off the Bob head for apostasy or ingrown toenails or something else that affronts Allah? Get next month’s quiz to find the exciting answer!
  • You won’t have to put up with me putting in smart ass remarks next month. Europe here I come 😛 [Heh heh. It appears that both you and I are going to be visiting Budapest, Vienna & Prague in mid June. You might be in some coffee house and there at the next table will I be … ironically if you went to Iceland you would be safe from me]