Answers for November 2000

This month produced a lot of very amusing answers and a question that nobody got right (probably me too), which was the whole idea – once upon a time. The situation has now changed and we forecast a high coming along here – whoopee – followed by a low spot over the Tasman (oh sorry, that’s New Zealand). Turning now to the synoptic chart, we become a square sheet of paper hanging on the wall … For inscrutable reasons our WINNER for November is

David Wicks

In atonement for the late answers for October I have added a bonus “picture question” for December. I beg my readers’ forgiveness, upon receipt of which I will go out and sin again.


Question 1

King Midas – the touch-turns-to-gold guy – really existed (Phrygia, 700BC) and his funeral feast leftovers have been studied. What did they eat?

Le Table d’Hote:

  • For an aperitif, diners got “King Midas’s Golden Elixir,” an odd mixture of beer, wine and honey mead that was the grog of choice not only for Midas but for other monarchs of the ancient Mediterranean world, including the mythical King Agamemnon of Mycenae, who led the Greeks against Troy. “The stew is way too spicy,” University of Pennsylvania archaeologist Keith DeVries said of the piece de resistance — lamb stewed in lentils, olive oil, honey, wine and anise. The museum’s guests also munched on olives, figs, goat cheese, a garlic and olive spread and rustic breads. Diners were also served a watercress and goat cheese salad with cherry vinaigrette. Dessert was a fennel tart. Chemical analysis of the dregs showed grapes, barley, honey, herbs and spices. The recreated recipe includes white Muscat grapes, barley malt, thyme honey and saffron with a final alcohol of 7.5% (unknown as to by volume or by weight) using an ale yeast. This kind of beer fits perfectly with the very special type of Phrygian drinking vessel, the long-sieved jug. “It’s the first time an ancient feast has been reconstructed using this chemical data,” said Patrick McGovern, senior research scientist at the Museum Applied Science Center for Archaeology, part of the University of Pennsylvania. [This was condensed from many correct answers received – see e.g. http://www.phrygians.com/dinner.html]
  • Short Version: Curry and beer

Domestically Useful Answers:

  • This question was great because now I don’t worry about not washing up anymore. If anyone objects, I just categorically state it is a habit from a past life in Turkey almost 3000 years ago.
  • All the mourners were male – we know this, because after the feast, they just left all the dirty dishes and the empties piled in the tomb and buggered off. Mrs Midas was furious – although she used up nearly two cans of Glen20 air deodoriser and half a bottle of NilOdour before the tomb was closed, it still ponged really badly when the archaeologists opened it up 2,700 years later.

I Should Have Thought of This

  • Well you can’t tell from the leftovers, Dr Bob. They are the bits they didn’t eat.
  • King Midas’ funeral feast leftovers did not eat anything.

Le Menu A La Carte:

  • All Midas’s juicy bits – thighs, buttocks, etc. In garlic, accompanied by retsina, and with a Greek salad on the side, of course!
  • Aubergines, aubrietias and auks. All eaten au gratin, of course.
  • Bulldust
  • CAESAR salad? Burger KING? GOLDEN Arches?
  • Cajun spice-covered onions with a bottle of amusing but not overly pretentious Chenin Blanc, that left hints of apples, raisins and turpentine on his golden palate.
  • Deep Fried Pigs Tail with a light mustard sauce that blended gently with the rats crap and rockett salad.
  • Duh!! Gold of course.
  • Food … No wait – yeah food. I’ll lock that in thanks Bob.
  • Food preservatives.
  • Goat and lamb stew with lentils, washed down with a mixture of wine, beer and mead. This was a bad idea … “Hey, lets mix all this stuff together! Tastes great!” This gave them a very bad headache after a while which made them throw all the remains, including the tables and chairs down on the old king. We did the same thing at grandma’s funeral last year, a lot of left-over potato salad.
  • Gold fruit, gold meat, and gold goblets filled with gold.
  • Gold of course. Didn’t you read the story?
  • Golden crispy fried chicken, with Golden Delicious apples, 24 carrots, then Gold’n Crumpets smothered in Golden Syrup.
  • Goldfinger food.
  • guests at Midas wake /each had a gallon of beer /and barbecued goat.
  • Gyros. Midas had outlawed “finger food”, and the people celebrated its return.
  • Having tried the beer, wine and mead cocktail I can’t recommend it. I can only recommend that journalists should write with greater clarity, because I’m sure what I drank wasn’t *really* what they meant.
  • If it was a funeral feast then I assume they ate funerals.
  • Iron Pyrites (Fool’s Gold!)
  • King Midas. I’m told that he is best served with fava beans and a nice chianti, though according to all reports, these were not present at his funeral feast.
  • Pan galactic gargleblasters.
  • Pheewwgia! A more flatus inducing meal would be hard to imagine. King Midas probably started the trend, now followed by vegetarians, of keeping a geriatric canine under the table so that diners can point accusingly at the dog when lentils act on the human alimentary canal.
  • Sushi
  • The usual stuff, partridges, filled wine leaves, mead.
  • They had a bit of a barbecue – goat, lamb, that sort of thing. With lentils. And beer. And presumably they kept the windows open the next day.
  • Whatever his mum put in front of him, after all there are children starving in Lydia!

Question 2

Q2 In Liechtenstein’s last war, they sent 80 troops to go and wallop the Dutch, how many men returned?

Answer

81 – they recruited an eager new Liechtensteiner along the way

Historically Better Answer

Why, you lying hound. Walloping the Dutch indeed! How does one wallop Hollanders from Tyrol? Liechtenstein’s last war was the end of the German Confederation, the Austro-Prussian war of 1866. According to ‘Liechtenstein: History and Institutions of the Principality,” Liechtenstein-verlag AG Vaduz, 1970: Prince Johann II committed his army (all 80 of it) on July 2. Declining to participate in war between German states, the Liechtensteiners were sent to guard the Stilfser Joch (Passo Stelvio) against any opportunistic moves from Italy by Garibaldi. On July 4th the Prussians beat the Austrians at Sadowa and an armistice was signed on the 22nd. The Liechtenstein army marched home, 81 of them this time; they had been joined by a stray Austrian. With the German Confederation quashed, Liechtenstein became a fully independent state and disbanded its army in 1868.

I Should Have Thought of This

  • None, they were all women.
  • All the Dutch were already there, so none of them actually “returned”.
  • How do you know it will be Liechtenstein’s last war?
  • No-one returned for a second go – they all stopped fighting the first time, and then went home presumably. So much more civilised, don’t you think?
  • If it was their last war, then probably not very many, as the Dutch are still around.

Relevant Answers Referring to Somebody Else’s War (guess who?)

  • Oooooh, I think I remember something about this one! <goes ferretting through husband’s obscure military history books – the man was obviously a nazi in a previous incarnation> Here we go: a legion of non-German volunteers fighting for Germany in WWII, the Waffen SS “Aufsturm” Legion, included 46 Liechtensteiners. After taking a whole lot of Russians prisoner in Hungary, they were then bombed by the Luftwaffe, who just couldn’t control themselves at the sight of all those nice, juicy Russians. 7 men made it back to friendly lines (although whether those lines could really be called ‘friendly’ when their air force had just bombed the bejeezuz out of you is arguable). These 7 gluttons for punishment then joined up with 28 more Liechtenstein volunteers and a whole bunch of German deserters, and formed the “Sturmkopt Liechtensteiner Waffen SS verband”, whereupon they were dispatched to Italy in January 1945. They were never officially heard of again, all being listed as dead, MIA or deserted. So (and this is where my answer really starts) officially, none of them returned alive – although it’s possible that some might’ve buggered off home, and had the sense to keep quiet about it, maybe telling the neighbours that they’d been at an Oktoberfest bash, and got a bit drunk and got lost on the way home, and then it took a few years to get a taxi. If you’ve ever tried to get a taxi home from Oktoberfest, you’ll realise that this is a very plausible cover story.
  • Actually it was 85 Liechtensteiners who served under the German flag, in the Waffen SS during WWII. 40 of them died or went MIA. The rest returned after the war and were not prosecuted. Source: Hans Werner Neulen: “An Deutscher Seite”

Alternative Answers:

  • “wallop” is a good word, with several meanings. By the way, have you noticed that wallop backwards is almost pillow? No men came back because they sent all women to “scrub” the Dutch who were very dirty from rolling around in the mud. My mother used to use this word a lot “Wait til your father gets home – he’ll give you a good walloping”. She meant he would boil us, my brother and me, in the big pot she kept on the stove. That’s why my face is red. [What about the other parts …]
  • 2 2/3
  • They got lost on the way and ended up in Finland. By the time they’d returned, the Dutch had conquered Liechtenstein. It’s funny, but in another way, sad.
  • All of them and they subsequently disbanded and declared neutrality.
  • Is wallop a technical term used by military historians? [I’m sure George Bush had the word in mind in relation to a Mr Hussein]
  • Hmmm … dont know. But certainly no witches came back!
  • liechtenstein’s eighty /confronted the naughty dutch. /brought a new friend home.
  • No men returned because the licked Liechtensteinians were women. The women didn’t return either, because they rather enjoyed being licked. As one would.
  • None
  • What war?
  • Who’s Liechtenstein?
  • You seem to be misinformed. Lichtenstein’s last war didn’t involve the Dutch, and they didn’t send troops anywhere. In their most recent war, “The War Against Claustrophobia”, all they did was make a few phone calls, welcome the resulting crack team of a dozen Austrian psychiatrists, and arrange appointments for the needy members of their population. Early results were promising. However after following some misguided advice, they covered every wall in the country with mirrors, and have subsequently developed anthrophobia, catoptrophobia, demophobia, iatrophobia, nelophobia and in one case even lachanophobia, although this probably wasn’t related to “The War Against Claustrophobia”.
  • Zero, they got lost in Switzerland.
  • 1
  • 27 Dutchmen defected.
  • 42, obviously.
  • 60 men, 10 crossdressers and 10 dope-smoking gay policemen
  • 80 they are fierce soldiers but with a lousy sense of direction. They couldn’t get over the mountains.
  • All 80 returned, they had problems finding the Netherlands, got tired of looking and went home.
  • If the 80 troops were all women, then probably no men returned. If they were the wallopers then probably most, if they were the wallopees then probably none. Why wallop the Dutch anyway? The Belgians would be much more fun to wallop! [Oh yes indeed, and as my Walloon friend Hercule says, …. anyway moving right along]
  • As you might expect, 81. Only, it was the Prussians, not the Dutch. Unless they got a bit lost on the way. Which would explain the lack of casualties. Doesn’t explain the extra one, though.
  • 3000, Liechtenstein was a nice place to live in those days.

Question 3

What dictionary starts with (in English) sky, baffle, hat, head, beret?

Correct Answer:

AUSLAN, the world-class Australian sign language for deaf/mutes: “Sky” you raise a hand as high as possible above the head“Baffle” you sweep the hand backwards high over the head“Hat” you place a hand down on the head“Head” you indicate the head“Beret” you place the hand on the side of the headFurther entries might be quite interesting, but I think we’ll stop there.

Not Far Off:

  • I can see the connections between sky, hat, head and beret but I must admit I’m baffled by baffle!
  • A sign language dictionary?
  • dictionary starts with /”sky baffle hat head beret” /for the deaf (maybe).
  • Hey – that’s the list of my passwords – how did you find them?
  • Hmm, looks like one of those arcane Mensa questions where they ask for the next word in an obscure progression of seemingly unrelated words. (The next word in this progression would, obviously, be ‘sternum’. But that’s not what you asked.) So because this question is totally off the planet and because it’s well after midnight the right answer must be the ‘Dictionary Of Bloody Silly Stuff That I Can’t Find The Answer To And It’s All Your Fault Dr. Bob That I’ve Got A Splitting Headache So There’.
  • The English Dictionary of Common And Daffy Things That Are Found Above The Shoulders.
  • The Random Dictionary.

Way Off:

  • Well, if it’s in English, then none. No dictionary would put those words, in English, in that order, at the beginning.
  • Finnish

Answers that Head towards Skyting, and some that are … Beret Baffling

  • The National Dyslexic’s Association (DNA) Official Dictionary, 1st edition. Difficult to obtain these days, I’m told by a friend who’s a teacher, because all copies were snapped up by Victorian schools…..
  • Dyslexic The Dictionary Language of English the
  • A very badly organised one. The lexicographer had obviously dropped the final manuscript as he was getting on the bus to the publishers.
  • Aeronautical dictionary
  • C:\Program Files\EctOffice\share\user.dic
  • Finally, after four weeks of intense research and much pondering, I am able to declare without doubt that these five words form the start of a sign-language to English dictionary. The particular version of sign is- *CLICK* -to take your clothes off under a tree and put them on again backwards- *CLICK* IEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *CLICK* – it is a daunting and unforgiving task, in a hostile environ- *CLICK* -fourth quarter warning after the bell- *CLICK* -ways of getting villagers in remote areas wired to- *CLICK* -EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE- *CLICK* … *CLICK* You may have won this round Dr Bob, but we shall meet again.
  • Fordox’s Dictionary fro Dyslexics
  • French. Why is the alphabet in the sequence it is, A…Z? Probably because of the song that guy wrote about it.
  • Hey man, thats some good shit you got there… So you are writing a dictionary… I know some good words to start with…
  • I’m American. Americans don’t need to know any other language than English. [Don’t get me started]
  • Jane’s how-to-look-good-in-wartime
  • Mine, although my four year old daughter has torn the pages out.
  • My thesaurus after the binding came adrift and some idiot stuck the pages back in the wrong order – but how did you know?
  • Neither Spanish, Italian, French or German dictionaries.
  • None. They all start with a title page, publishers name, editors names….
  • Obviously, none of them. This would have to be a dictionary of some furrin tongue.
  • One for moron public servants, as in: A sky, A baffle, A hat, A head, A beret, etc.
  • One so where important is not syntax the a of sentence the as content.
  • Ooh, a dictionary question. Those are always easy to come up with joke answers for. I mean, the comic possibilities in dictionaries are both obvious and endless. Hmmm, where to begin? Oops, i’ve run out of space….
  • Pass this one. [Hey, you’ve smoked more than your share of it]
  • The creationist confusion dictionary! Creationist looks into the sky, baffled as to how it could have been instantaneously created, while uncomprehendingly wearing a hat on his/her head – a beret that evolved from a beaver hat!
  • The dictionary of the Melbourne Meteorological Society
  • The Finnish to English dictionary’s Monty Python edition (see the phrase book sketch)
  • The Klingonese dictionary. Sad, really, that Klingonese has almost as many speakers as Esperanto.
  • The Mills and Boon Plot dictionary that dictates the content of all its published stories except the names of the major characters. The author has complete literary control over these, provided that the men have MANLY names (Rock, Leonardo, Mel, Kevin – No Bruces allowed) and the women have feminine names (Angela, well… actually, Angela)
  • The Scientology dictionary – must keep it simple.
  • The Vogon dictionary of poetry.
  • There is no dictionary that starts with “(in English)…” .
  • To be sure, to be sure, that would have to be the Irish dictionary (or for the Pole-bashing Americans, the Polish dictionary.) All I know for sure is that in the same dictionary, it is true that cleanliness is next to godliness – but for me, it’s next to impossible.
  • Well, it isn’t the Skeptics Dictionary because that appropriately starts with abracadabra. OK… it is the Biographical Dictionary cos that can be searched by keywords. You just search for sky first, then baffle, then… simple! (And correct too.)
  • Your mommas dictionary

Question 4

What type of footwear does Margaret Thatcher usually wear?

Let Me Just Get This One Thing Straight –

  • Being a high heel, she of course generally wears high-heeled shoes.
  • According to Linda Colley, reviewing “Margaret Thatcher. Vol. I: The Grocer’s Daughter” by John Campbell, in the London Review of Books: “…at the apex of her power, she exploited her sex ruthlessly, drawing on while subverting the dynamics of the harem. She would straighten a supplicant minister’s tie, pat his shoulder, button (not unbutton) his jacket. Her lips would be carmine, her eyes clear, and all the while she would move so as to exhibit elegant legs in invariably high-heeled shoes.”
  • High-heeled shoes were, and no doubt still are, Lady Maggie’s preferred footwear, because of the pain they inflict when you trample an opponent. I remember sitting through a physics lesson in which the physics master proved that being stepped on by an elephant was less painful than being stepped on by the chemistry master in high heels. Those two never did like each other much. [Even with the shoes – what kind of a school did you go to?] For preference, Lady Mags sought out steel capped high heels, so that when she went head-kicking, she was not likely to hurt her toes.

Down to Earth Answers:

  • Everything on the Right foot, nothing on the Left.
  • According to the Vogon dictionary of poetry – smelly ones.
  • Ankle strap, 4-inch, spike-heeled, Joan Crawford, come-f**k-me brogans.
  • Boots to hide the cloven hooves (Her wig hides the 666 engraved into her skull).
  • Both pairs of footwear that Imelda Marcos did not want
  • Cleats
  • Clogs. She practices clog-dancing 7-8 hours a day. It’s not that she is fond of clog-dancing, she just likes to annoy the people downstairs who voted Labor.
  • ‘Fetish’……..U Frisky thing Margaret U!
  • Galoshes
  • I don’t know that you could class it as footwear, but Dame Thatcher nearly always has her right foot firmly planted in the fundament of whichever liberal is currently annoying her at the time – and some uncharitable souls would say that she has one foot (presumably the left) in the grave.
  • I’ve heard she sometimes wore hobnail boots to bed for a right royal, tally ho, jolly beastly kicking.
  • In my deepest darkest fantasies, she wears seven inch stiletto high heeled boots made of red snakeskin. [Wow! In yours too eh? More specifically, in my fantasies I AM Margaret Thatcher, complete with seven-inch heels. As we were born with the same surname and have similar degrees in Chemistry, I often wonder where I went wrong … Maggie obviously went Right]
  • Long black thigh length leather jackboots. With steel capped toes… and studs… and spurs that match the whips she carries and…. STOP THAT! You’re thinking like a Tory politician!
  • margaret thatcher likes /to wear high-heeled stilletos. /wow! imagine that!
  • Mocassins in winter, thongs in summer, (army boots in bed all year).
  • None. The single largest period of time she spends bare footed, either in bed or bath etc etc. The totality of time she does wear shoes may be greater but each single type of shoe accounts for less time than the time spent barefooted. So, usually, her shoes are “not shoes”. As a total contrast, the shoes she does wear are “sensible”.
  • On the right foot or the far-right foot?
  • Once again, I’m going to have to go with the obvious answer and say “cloven hooves”, Dr. Bob.
  • One is tempted to say ‘sensible brogues’ but that’s too obvious. And it’s not concrete boots because that’s what her enemies wind up wearing. So it must be thongs. Yep, Maggie in thongs, sensible thongs of course, has to be the go.
  • Oohhh Margaret Thatcher… footwear…. Sorry, I got distracted there… Well you know how the song goes… “You can leave your fluffy pink slippers on” (Thanks Joe)
  • Pumps
  • Rubber thongs with studs over ripped fishnets.
  • Sensible flat souled shoes (down with high heels)!
  • Sensible.
  • She has footwear? What’s a woman doing out of the kitchen? Those limeys are letting this womens lib thing go too far.
  • Shoes – heavy enough to crush Blairites underfoot
  • Shoes with rather too high heels. I know this for a fact, since a friend of mine was her bodyguard, and had to get a more suitable pair when she got stuck on the cobblestones of the market square in Helsinki.
  • Shoes, mostly. (Actually, someone told me it was stilettos, but then he started to dribble and go pink, so I don’t know whether to believe him…)
  • Shoes. (Or, if you’re a Tory, jackboots.)
  • Shoes… No wait – yeah shoes. I’ll lock that in thanks Bob.
  • Since when does she wear shoes?
  • Size eight.
  • Size fourteen.
  • Something stylish for the cloven foot.
  • Steel tipped, for kicking the unworthy into worthwhile occupations like arms dealing
  • Sturdy pumps.
  • Uh, shoes?
  • Underlings.
  • Usually wear where? To the Opera, walking her sausage dog, or whilst reading the newspaper? Very ambiguous question, Bob. To reveal her true podiatric preferences, means I have to access to the underground mini-cams that are filming constantly from in her ceiling and the sky… Does that mean you have encouraged me to break the law, and really find out what shoes she wears the most? Actually, I might as well OBE and check it all out that way, for free with no risk of being sued for invasive monitoring! Please note, my answer is technically correct.
  • Wasn’t aware that dragons wore any foot wear except the occasional gizzards of a knight errant.
  • What ever she finds comfy
  • Wow, great question! Thanks Dr Bob! Where else could I find necessary keywords to find this informative page (http://www.patentletter.com/2-4/pljun97.htm)? I hadn’t given much thought to Margaret Thatcher’s preferred footwear, but I suppose that if pressed, I’d have suggested some kind of work boot, possibly with steel capped toes. I certainly wouldn’t have guessed that Margaret Thatcher was a true stiletto woman! I’ll never see her the same way again. The rest of that page is pretty informative too. I’ve discovered what buckles on women’s shoes mean, a theory explaining why leg-men are more intelligent than tit-men, a whole bunch of links to other informative sites, patent leather shoe care tips, and even how to get paid for fondling women’s calves! Legally! Wow! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go and send my resume to some local shoe merchants…

Question 5

In Finnish and Estonian folk myths, what are the water-gods usually made of?

Best Answer:

Fantasy, imagination & superstition

Dr Bob’s Answer:

Honestly, not even my Finnish respondents had any idea of this. Look here, early on in, ahem, MY copy of the Kalevala (which, fortunately, is in English) we read in Runo 2, lines 115-122:

Then a man arose from ocean,
From the waves a hero started; ….
Decked his head a helm of copper,
On his feet were boots of copper,
On his hands were copper gauntlets
Gloves adorned with copper tracings;
Round his waist his belt was copper;
In his belt his axe was copper.

You get the idea. In case you don’t, in the Notes at the back it says “Runo 2: Finnish and Estonian water-heroes are sometimes described as entirely composed of copper.” (It also says “Runo 1: The ring-finger is usually called the “nameless finger” in Finnish). And this is only for Runo 1 and Runo 2 – they go up to Runo 50, but I won’t set a question from each Runo. Don’t worry, there is lots of sex and violence in Runo’s 3-50.

Mythical Answers:

  • The Finnish water god Atho or Ahti (or Naaki in his malevolent aspect) was a shapeshifter, who often resembled a walrus, and was sometimes made of foam. He was supposed to look after the interests of fishermen and seal hunters, but sometimes ate them instead. A fat man made of scum who preyed on his constituents. <puts on Anna Russell voice> A sort of aquatic Mal Colston, I suppose.
  • A watery mytht.
  • Air
  • Coca-Cola and Pepsi respectively, it was one of the first examples of corporate sponsorship – though many say that the early mythmakers were gipped.
  • Depends how powerful they are. As far as I am concerned, any god can be made of whatever he wants to be.
  • Dihydrogen Monoxide.
  • Dog Shit
  • Dried herring with a little oil and vinegar
  • Each water-god is made up of a large number of Sprites, accounting for the gods bubbly personality.
  • Fire, air and earth, quite obviously. Tch, Dr. Bob, this one was too elementary. And another thing – in either country water-gods are hits, not myths.
  • Flushing hallucinations
  • How about water-god tissue? It’s rarely taught in histology courses, except at Oxford where the students have to memorize that along with ocrawatts.
  • I don’t know. I wasted an awful lot of time trying to find an answer when I could have been watching football. Who won the election, by the way? This must be a metaphysical question. The only fruit of my hours of research is the Hungarian saying I found. “Metaphysics is a restaurant with a 30,000 page menu and no food.”
  • I thought we were Finnished with this subject [No, there are an inFinnite number of questions still to come]
  • Ice
  • Ice
  • Ice (and a twist of lemon)
  • Ice. (In Finland and Estonia, _everything_ is made of ice.)
  • If the Finns are involved probably Vodka. Those bloody Finns love a drink.
  • I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say “water.” But it’s probably ice.
  • Imagination
  • in estonian /folk myths (and the finnish, too) /gods sprout from belief.
  • Misguided belief.
  • Neurons firing and interacting in structured patterns in the brain, producing thoughts which may or not be associated with information the brain receives from the senses.
  • Newts.
  • Nothing – water gods do not exist.
  • Raspberry sponge cake.
  • Stone
  • Sugar and spice and everything nice, that’s what water gods are made of.
  • The Finnish water-god, Ahti (or maybe Ahto), was usually made of one (1) old man. He sometimes gave fish to fishermen, and was known on at least one occasion to give a bunch of knives to a boy. One can only hope hope that his Estonian counterpart was somewhat more responsible, and didn’t run round the countryside encouraging lazy fishermen and arming the youth of Estonia.
  • They are not ‘made’ of anything. I don’t know about the Estonians, but Kalevala’s Ahti and Iku-Turso are mythical figures, whose raw materials have been mercifully forgotten.
  • This question has finnaly Finnished me off! Obviously a trick question – Not water surely.
  • This was so easy I didn’t have to look it up even. In fact, I scorn to answer such a simple as a pimple on the end of ys chin question… OK OK they were made of celestite chrondomindium.
  • ummmmmmmm…ice?
  • Vodka and ice.
  • Water? No – hang on… this must be a trick question. Fire! I’m going with Fire. Hang on – I’ll phone a friend… Hmmm, that’s odd – he hung up. I’ll stick with fire.
  • Well, the Finnish water-god Ahti is supposed to be in the form of an old man. One could then argue that he is ‘made of’ the same stuff as any old man: nose hair, earwax, warts, intestinal gas etc. etc. On the other hand, why assume that Ahti is any different from other gods, and therefore made up of equal parts of ectoplasm, animal magnetism, chi, phlogiston, wishful thinking, self-deception, snails and puppy-dog tails?
  • Wet stuff
  • Who knows with these folk tales, but one would assume they are made of water mixed with a good bit of bullshit.

Optional Comments:

  • “Bummer” said Pooh, as Tigger dropped the joint in the honey pot.
  • One of your questions for next month might just be “Who is the American President” and see how many skeptics respond to that one. 🙂
  • They are coming!!!!
  • The answer is 42, the question is..hang on I’ve got another call-must be that Monica Lewinsky girl again, now where’s that red button for call waiting, must be this one….
  • Your Fenno-Ugrian references baffle me. Is someone taking the piss out of you? [No. I used to suspect that everyone was laughing at me but the voices tell me not to worry any more.]
  • I could not be bothered making up the answers this month so I made up making up the answers. (I am seriously confusing myself.)
  • Sorry for the crap answers, but they are buggers of questions this month!
  • I know, woeful effort this month.
  • Not content with getting the wrong end of the stick, I got the wrong stick.
  • Whee! Is airplane glue considered an intoxicant?
  • Last week I got a new motorcycle for my husband. It was a fair swap.
  • Just so you have the perspective of those of us in the U.S., we’d be laughing too if we weren’t so darn scared our next president will be determined by about 432 people who are too stupid to punch a hole in a piece of paper, and a handful of lawyers and election officials who seem to think Chads (a male name) can get pregnant! Forget a president, we need somebody who can teach these people about the birds and the bees!
  • I’m getting Mrs Hawley to help this month (to do the quiz…).
  • Impressive questions – I had fun. :-)) [Please keep to the topic]
  • Very interesting Quiz, I am sure U will be ecstatic to find out that I have studied these long and hard and send my mystical magical powers to help U with UR work! May the fairies be with U Bobby Boy!!! [O they are … but moving right along]
  • I have no idea really of the answers for all the questions. Just wanted to see if I make it in your answers when you publish them 🙂
  • Dammit! You’ve made me learn something…
  • You’re an unusual man Dr Bob [Wow, can you see me from your computer?]
  • I too, spent November in England. It rained a bit (well, it is November). The trains were a little less reliable than usual (which isn’t saying much), and apparently England played Australia at rugby. But I’m Scottish, so I wasn’t paying much attention.
  • too much time on hands: /dr bob gets bad haiku. /must stop writing now.
  • Boys have a penis – girls have a vagina [And Mary had a little lamb]
  • Thankfully, the USA Presidential election will be over soon–and then there’ll be a “here we go again” start-up for the 2004 agony. Australia’s, and Canada’s, sensible events show that parliamentary systems can work for big countries.
  • The web site says you are overseas. But you were on an extended swan only a few months back. How can you possibly afford all this tripping on an academic’s thin stipend? Or do you get generous kickbacks from the monthly winners of your quaquaversal quiz?
  • I reckon u should have peoples first names after their answers that u publish… Just a wee bit of acknowledgement Bob, to ya supporters. C’mon, do it… make our days!!!!!! (I LIVE for Dr Bob’s Quiz… please please … beg beg beg….) [Sorry, would need too much editing]
  • I’m into feng shui for pets, dogs, cats and goldfish, but no horses. The work is’nt too hard, you just have to keep waving your hands around, which can be pretty tiring after a while, though. [Me too. Feng Shui advice for goldfish: try to place the goldfish bowl well away from the cat].
  • Gee, thinking up something witty to say here every month is getting hard. But I did it again didn’t I?
  • I am not thinking very well this month because I am being exsanguinated by vicious Victorian mosquitoes. [They bite your brain? How do they get through the skull?]
  • I hope some insect never bores a hole in my head and lays eggs in my brain, because later I might think I’m having a good idea, but it’s just some eggs hatching. [This might explain the previous comment]
  • Yikes! No time for witty comments! It’s nearly December!
  • I’m a first timer. Questions seem obscure, but interesting. [Yes they do – but what about the other parts of speech]
  • If you need to make some spare money, painting trompe de l’oeils in childrens bedrooms on Park Avenue NY is hot.
  • I don’t believe you read all the answers. [Well I do – I can even show you the blood-stained straitjacket they keep me in when I do it]
  • Think yourself lucky, you ungrateful personage, after you insulted all of us fabulous quizzees with remarks about ‘pathetic answers’ – and what’s this with ‘the most correct answers’ business? If we’re all reduced to finding correct answers, I for one will be very disappointed – won’t you get bored reading the same answers over and over again? You just go and stand in the corner, and think about your conduct….
  • i havent seen your site before but i think dr bob has a sense of humour that i find affinity with. [A Finnity with?]
  • Optional, eh? Well, screw this, I’m out of here…
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