Answers for August/Sept 2009

Well, here we are with the new web page settled in and hence a new format, consistent with the other pages on our site. Thanks for bearing with me as the changeover was made. As my new introductory text says, one answer per month will be singled out (for whatever reason I fancy) and the perpetrator rewarded with an actual PRIZE, either the Great Skeptic CD, or something else if they already have one. And to my delight this months’s WINNER is a first-time entrant – the author of the long answer to Q2, which was a guess but is absolutely correct – well done

Sharla Millett


Question 1

What did King Zog of Albania do in the evenings?

Answer

Tirana being rather a dull place by night, even for the King – he played with his sisters. Poker, specifically.

Additional Answers

  • He avoided entertaining overseas visitors.
  • Dr Bob’s old quiz – he does not like the new one.
  • He was King! Whatever he wanted to do.
  • Oh, just the normal stuff. Pre dinner drinks, dinner, smoke lots of cigarettes, watch the idiot box, smoke more cigarettes, perform a series of unnatural acts with some of his subjects and most of his overseas visitors……
  • Played “pin the tail” on the personal bodyguard
  • Queen Zog.
  • Played poker. The nightlife of Tirana was nothing to write home about, especially if home WAS Tirana.
  • Sleep and fool around with women.
  • Smoke! And twiddle with his ham radio.
  • Something personal that has been kept a very deep secret, between him and his right hand.
  • If the shade of William Topaz McGonnigle is to be believed (and why shouldn’t it be?): Good King Zog / In the evening Tirana fog / Would quite often snog / A rather attractive Albanian fighting dog.
  • Played Poker, while contemplating his conquest of the world when the blokes to the north and west had stuffed up.  As one does.
  • Put on women’s clothing and hung around in gay bars
  • Unless he was a vampire or some other villanous creature of the night like Deacon Brodie, he slept, I guess. And played poker with his sister/s.
  • Poked his smoking sister? Or smoked his poking twister? Na na, got it, smoked and played poker with his sister.
  • Talk

Question 2

Why were overseas visitors required to wear morning dress when attending audiences with King Zog?

Answer

Zog owned the only tailor’s shop in Tirana. Few visitors had morning dress with them and all foreigners were invited and expected to attend, so the shop would have been full of wealthy foreigners desperate to buy the full rig. It’s good to be King.

Additional Answers

  • Audiences were conducted in the morning; an ideal time to wear morning dress.
  • Because Brunch dresses were a little confusing.
  • Because he never held audiences in the afternoons.
  • Because he only saw visitors in the mornings.
  • Because he refused to grant audiences after noon, so afternoon dress was not required.
  • Because he wouldn’t see them in the evening.
  • So they would require emergency fancy dress provided by tailors who paid Zog a kickback.
  • They could hire/buy suitable suit down the road from Zog’s family member at ex-zog-ident prices.
  • To remind him it was morning – time to wake up (after a hard night playing pin the tail…)
  • As HM spent the PM sprucing up for his canine romantic adventures, all audiences were held in the AM. And what else would one wear in the morning?
  • Comic opera dress for a comic opera monarch.
  • He was a bloody KING, mate.  What do you expect – shorts and thongs?
  • So Zog could sell morning dress at a tidy profit.
  • [ANSWER OF THE MONTH] Wiki doesn’t have the answer to this one, so I’ll have to guess. Was it because he never got over the loss of his pet goldfish when he was 5? Or maybe he lost a fleet of ships and made everyone else … Oh, MORning dress!!! Nothing like having to read the questions properly, eh? Ummmm…the only thing I can find that mentions this is that only rich people were required to do this, mostly because poor people couldn’t afford the local outfitter the King recommended. Now they could have been ‘required’ (read forced) to wear morning dress because it was the official formal attire of rich Albanian men OR King Zog (lurve that name!!!!) was taking a 100 per cent cut of the local outfitters’ profits coz it was owned by him. My money is on the latter reason. Nothing like cornering a market.

Question 3

While in exile in France during WW2, King Zog of Albania was in an area that was subjected to a German air raid. How did he manage to survive unscathed?

Answer

He had the same car as Hitler – a prominent red Mercedes. Luftwaffe bombadiers, while not expecting the Fuhrer to be touring France at that moment, especially the part of it that they’d been told to bomb, were overcome with a strong feeling of skepticism.

Additional Answers

  • By speaking English with a bad French/Albanian accent a la the fine documentary Hello Hello.
  • He didn’t get hit.
  • He gathered his bodyguards for a group hug – with him in the middle?
  • He set up his own smoke screen through his incessant smoking so the German bombers couldn’t see where to drop the bombs. He also made use of some of his subjects in an intriguing way involving all sorts of strange and unnatural positions (best leave it there) that provided protection from falling bombs.
  • He took off like a scalded cat in his new V8 Tirana.
  • He was in the bathroom, and hid in the bath!
  • His car was the same model as (the Titanic or . . . sigh!) Hitler’s. Plus the 3-pack/day smoke screen must have helped.
  • Used the best brand of bomb repellent on the market.
  • Ah, those rich and their luxury lifestyles. I was going to say he created some kind of intergalatic airbubble to protect him, but apparently it was more to do with his Mercedes Benz. Hitler, in a two-for-one deal with Mercedes-Benz, gave the second car, which was identical to his, to the Zogs for their wedding pressie and the Germans were too scared to bomb a car that was exactly the same as Hitler’s.
  • Bullet Proof Fez.
  • By driving a car identical to Hitler’s. The bombers did not dare fire on it.
  • He was moonlighting as a part-time Luftwaffe bomb-aimer.
  • The obvious answer is that the German bombs missed him. All other answers are the result of conspiracy theories.
  • Underneath the poker table.  No the bombs didn’t land near him.

Question 4

When Zog checked into the Ritz Hotel in London, what was commented about his baggage?

Answer

Very heavy. When asked “what’s in the bags” Zog said “Gold.” Strange story, because a hotel employee would not normally ask that question of a guest, but Zog must have been madew very welcome indeed when they got the answer.

Additional Answers

  • “How dare you call my wife that!”
  • “You cannot bring that old bag in here!…. oh, sorry madam.”
  • Cor blimey! Wot a lot of fags!
  • How much the colour clashed with his skin tone.
  • It was unusually heavy: when asked if it contained anything valuable, he replied, Zogging yes: ‘Gold’.
  • Man, have you got some baggage.
  • Ritz check-in staff, upon spotting fluid seeping from Zog’s suitcase, commented “I say, it’s a Leka.”
  • So much satin and lace apparel for just one ‘man’ and a few guards?
  • What a lot of cultural baggage he had!
  • A rather snooty porter described her as “no better than she should be”.
  • It was heavy.  Yes he said “It’s gold”.
  • That it was heavy. Then his wife slapped the bell boy for being so indiscreet. Nah, it was heavy but the baggage wasn’t his wife; it was all of Albania’s gold.
  • Very heavy.
  • Very sparkly….only on the driveway….on Sundays….
  • You call that a tip? You tight bastard!

Question 5

One day, while living in London, King Zog decided to buy a newspaper. Which newspaper?

Answer

He sent someone to buy The Times “But I will not pay more than 10 million pounds for it”

Additional Answers

  • The Daily Beast?
  • “Playboy” – just for the articles you know!
  • Due to his wobbly command of English, Zog picked up a copy of the /Torana Lovers’ Monthly/ by mistake. He was mightily pissed off after reading nothing but page after page about hot Aussie cars instead of the news from his fair capital.
  • He didn’t really care – he just wanted to own a newspaper. Any one would do.
  • The Bunyip (from Gawler, SA – http://www.bunyippress.com.au/ )
  • The Courier Mail
  • The Herald-Sun. He wanted to see the 20 pages of Victorian football overkill. There’d be no other reason for buying it.
  • The one with the text and the writing and stuff.
  • The Sydney Morning Herald to read to his morning visitors.
  • The Times. Not *a* paper to make a rollup, THE newspaper.
  • The Captain. This was a magazine (not a newspaper) published by a former England and Sussex cricket captain, joint world long jump record holder, representative soccer and Rugby player, C B Fry, who also was reported to be able to leap backwards from a standing start onto a mantlepiece. The reason why Zog bought the magazine was that at the 1920 Versailles Peace Conference, Fry had been offered (it was reported) the throne of Albania, which offer he declined. Had he accepted it is unlikely that President Zogu could have become King Zog in 1928, so he reckoned he owed Fry a favour. It cost 1 shilling, which was real money in those days. Fry was described by no less an authority than the late John Arlott as “probably the most variously gifted Englishman of any age”. To anyone responding “that wouldn’t be hard”, I can only agree.
  • Not the Sun mate, Probably the Daily Telegraph. They have a regal column you know and the best sort of chaps read it.
  • The Times. Fortunately The Times escaped unscathed until Rupert bought and trashed it a few decades later. Probably would have been better off under Zog, because he was reputedly next to illiterate and so probably would have left it alone.
  • When you say ‘buy’ do you mean Zog walked down to the corner shop and bought a copy of the local Sun to admire the attributes of the page 3 model? Or do you mean going into the bank and getting a cheque and giving it to a newspaper baron and taking over control of a newspaper type ‘buy’? [Yup – that is exactly what I meant]
  • The Sun. Phwoarrr! What a magnificent pair of zogs!

Question 6

Below is a photo of Jalan Bagan Luar, a main street in Butterworth, Malaysia, in 2001. What are the diggers looking for?

Answer

///quiz2009089Q6a.jpg///Tantalum. Looks like the road was constructed with industrial slag that was later found to be rich in tantalum, and therefore valuable. No, I don’t know how anyone can be expected to know this – what do you want, easy questions?

Additional Answers

  • Credibility.
  • King Zog
  • King Zog in morning dress reading the Courier Mail near a UXB
  • King Zog’s long lost personal effects including his oversized cigarette case and “little black book” containing lurid descriptions of each evening’s entertainment for the year 1940.
  • Osama Bin Laden.
  • The key . . . they think they have found it, don’t they? They roll back the lid of the sardine tin of life. They reveal the sardines, the riches of life, therein, and they get them out, and they enjoy them. But, you know, there’s always a little bit in the corner you can’t get out. I wonder is there a little bit in the corner of your life? I know there is in mine! (Alan Bennett)
  • The remnants of King Zog’s purported hidden stash of Viagra – to keep pace with the guards you know! He had the stuff all over the planet – just in case..
  • Zog’s dog, lost in the bog.
  • Zogworthy stashes of counterfeit cigarettes.
  • The 5 ringgit note I dropped there while serving with 77 Squadron, RAAF, at Butterworth in 1962. However, there is an error in the question. As those excavating the street are not wearing slouch hats with the sides turned up, it is unlikely that they are Diggers; more likely they are employees of the Butterworth, Province Wellesley, Penang State, Parks, Gardens and Monsoon Drains Department.
  • Cable… or maybe the pot at the end of the rainbow? Rains a lot in Malaysia I hear.
  • Looking for enlightenment, Dr Bob, as we all are. Or at least the electricity cable. Or maybe just maybe the fabled lost tomb of King Zog of Albania whose remains disappeared and whose whereabouts are mystery to this day.
  • To dig up a whole street, it’d have to be something major. Ummm…the bloke on the surface lost his contact lens and the others are searching for it? Are they digging a hole to China? Actually that wouldn’t work because I don’t think China’s on the opposite side of the world to Malaysia. Come to think of it, is Australia? My parents lied for all those years? Devastated!!!
  • Where the bloody hell did you leave the remote control for the video this time?

Comments

  • Don’t like the new website Dr Bob. Not your fault, I know. Bloody Paranormals. I like the Zog questions. Did you know his son married some sheila from NSW? Also that C B Fry, the Pommie cricketer, was offered the kingship.
  • Ah, the balmy tropical nights on Jalan Bagan Luar in those happy times. What ever happened to our carefree days of yesteryear?
  • Dr Bob, I’ve been away for a while. Anyhoo, it started off easy-peasy then when it got further along it got much harder to the point where my search engine just doesn’t know what to think! Apparently Butterworth has a train station. Is that the answer? Were they looking for the train tracks after a flash flood dumped a heap of silt on the road? If that’s the right answer, can you cut and paste that into the Q6 spot? Thanks, Dr Bob; you’re a real sport.
  • Dr Bob – was there some coincidental recurring theme in this month’s questions. Or did I imagine it? (and who the hell was King Zog anyway?) [The recurring theme was the new website, with various new types of chaos … ]
  • Hey Bob – this is a retrograde step and where are last month’s proper answers? And I miss my numbers.
  • Hi, Dr. Bob, hope all is well in Skepticstown. Do miss the teeming multitudes’ quiz answers on the website, so hope regularly scheduled broadcasts will soon be restored.
  • Jeez, Dr Bob, this new (ahem) way of submitting quiz answers is a real advance on the old method, isn’t it. 🙂
  • not happy jan
  • So you’ve retired Dr Bob! Congratulations on being able to do that. I hope you have a great time and keep yourself entertained and drink lots of Guinness – and remember, the last drink is always to excess. “Here’s to excess – I’ll drink to that!”.