Answers for January 2002

For January 2002 we have another winner from Northern Europe … and it’s his first entry! He don’t bow to bad water, he don’t pussyfoot around:

Joost Verduin


Question 1

What was Vincent van Gogh doing at 8pm on 16 Jun 1890?

Answer

Painting “White House at Night” – see for example http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/entertainment/newsid_1209000/1209614.stm – he painted the wall of the house at 7pm (in the painting that is, the world would have to wait another few years for a famous house painter…) – and he filled in Venus at 8pm.

Other Answers

  • He was probably into some artistic crap.
  • He was sitting in his studio many miles away from Auvers-sur-Oise painting a star -that looked a lot like the planet Venus – in a place that created a pleasingly composed image on the canvas. He thought to himself, perhaps some day someone will try to figure out where I am at this very moment…nahhhh…..
  • At PRECISELY 8:00 pm on 16/6/1890 he was scratching his arse and wondering how the hell he was going to get all the stars on the canvas before the skyscape moved too much.
  • Breathing, as he was still alive. Some latter day astronomers have concluded that he was painting a picture based on the position of ” the planet Venus” over a house in the painting, but they were assuming that Vincent was in full control of his facilities and was able to position the planet with mathematical accuracy. Crap!
  • Cleaning his ear after a good snort of absinthe
  • Cleaning his toenails with a rather large pair of scissors when, oops, he went to scratch the side of his head – dandruff you see – but it all went horribly wrong
  • Contemplating cutting off some other body part to send to a prostitute as token of his love. No, Vinnie, not that, it might go in a “french letter” but that doesn’t mean you can cut it off to post….
  • Didn’t you already have this question? Something about a washing machine. Actually, I think that was some other artist. Vincie must have been cutting off his own ear.
  • Dinner? Laundry? Mrs Le Plonq, the landlady?
  • Dying
  • Eyeing off the other ear when, suddenly, he slipped and fell.
  • First, he painted “White House at Night”. Scholars think so because of the lighting in the painting and the weather records from the time which apparently reveal that 8 pm on 16 June was when the conditions depicted in the painting were likely to have occurred. What is often overlooked is that van Gogh, in his near-demented state, reacted to the appearance of Venus that night like the Magi did to the Star of Bethlehem. Rushing back to his quarters, he took the best gift he could find — M. Gachet’s piano. He then lugged it all the way to England to present it to the newborn babe. The trip was largely uneventful, except for the treacherous crossing of the Thames on a rope-strung footbridge guarded by a gorilla. [Who asked him what his favourite colour was …]
  • Getting an earful, just one mind, from his wife for not washing his socks or starting his last painting.
  • Giggling about how he’d “really put one over on the stupid astronomers”.
  • Having dinner
  • Having eyes.
  • He received a very clever painting with Venus in the sky from a passing UFO and immediately scribbled his name on it.
  • He was being snapped out of his regular after-dinner water closet suicidal contemplation by the chime of the loony bin clock.
  • He was either painting “The White House”, a picture of a house located in Auvers-sur-Oise, north-west of Paris, or he was washing out his brushes after having just finished this painting. Judging by the perspective of the painting, the position of the star he painted in the sky (presumed to be the planet Venus) and knowing that the painting was done on the 16 June 1890, starting from the bottom up (how do they know that?), [because the top paint has dribbled down over the bottom paint – because van Gogh had a hunch back and was only able to stand erect later in the day – because there was very low cloud – because the woman in the painting was actually coming to visit him for a shag – because the canvas was big and he couldn’t find a chair to stand on until later in the day – because they were still building the house, a la last month’s question about Tarkovsky – look, I dunno. Anyway, I ask the questions] experts have concluded that the painting was finished at around 8.00 pm.
  • He was finishing off his final etching, “Portrait of Dr. Gachet, L’Homme à la pipe”, before drinking himself to death for the next month or so.
  • He was outside the White House in Washington D.C. carefully aiming his gun through the window when he suddenly thought, “What am I doing? I don’t want to be an anarchist, I want to be an artist!” He moved to France and all the rest is history.
  • He was standing out in the night air of Auvers-sur-Oise, wielding a brush and painting a house. And at roughly the same time another well-known house painter was born, only in Austria [Damn! There he is again]
  • Helping to deliver Stan Laurel?
  • I ‘ear he was painting.
  • In 1990 at 08.00 p.m., Vincent Van Gogh’s painting “Portrait of Dr.Gachet” was sold for a record amount in US dollars ,the highest ever paid at an auction. This record was set exactly 100 years after Van Gogh had started on this very painting.
  • Just etching to get back to oils.
  • Laying in his grave? [No, only a hen could do that]
  • Let me see, June, midsummer, evening, Auvers-sur-Oise, about 4 months before that unfortunate affair with the firearm. Hmmm “Starry Night? no wrong year. Aha! Daubing away at “The White House at Night”.
  • Letter 653: Auvers-sur-Oise, 16 June 1890 My dear Theo, Many thanks for your letter of yesterday and for the 50 fr. note it contained. I fear this place may be costing me my reason. The Ravoux family are pleasant enough of course, but their constant stream of food smothered with tomatoes and onions and garlic is beginning to wear heavily upon me. Every day it is the same, and every day there is not a potato to be seen. Even the presence of a fellow Dutchman — Hirschig, who has just arrived today and seems much too nice for this place — at the dinner table could not take my mind from the pungent red mass on the plate. Is a baked potato once in while too much to ask? Apparently so. The truth is, my dear brother, I think I should not be able to bear much more of this.The above unfinished and unsent letter from Vincent Van Gogh to his brother, Theo, was recently discovered in the estate of Germaine Ravoux upon her death. It seems that the Ravoux family suffered from guilt over the suicide of Van Gogh, believing that this unsent letter was evidence that their potato-less food made him first insane, and eventually suicidal. From this, it seems clear that at 8pm, on 16th June 1890, Vincent Van Gogh was not eating a potato.
  • Lighting up.
  • Listening to his Don McLean CD
  • Listening to his record player. Specifically, to the song:- I Love a Starry Night.
  • Loafing in a chair, painting “White House at Night” while listening to his mother nag him about moving out of the house and getting a real job.
  • Looking at Venus in the White House. Ok, my english is poor, so you may understand he was looking at a sort of magic encounter between Monica Lewinsky and the former US president, but no, gosh, I do not mean that. I just say that astronomers said that Vincent was looking at Venus (planet!) above a normal white-painted house. Astronomers… tsk. Maybe they also believe that Vincent painted exactly the planet on the canvas, with exact azimuth and altitude. Tsk, astronomers… Who believe at astronomers?
  • Masturbating with a cheese grater, perhaps. [Ouch!! No wonder he cut his ear off – he probably wondered what the buzzing sound was] Talking with my ex-wife is like that, it’s unusual and interesting for the first few minutes, after that extremely painful.
  • He met Dutch artist Anton Hirschig (1867-1939), who upon his arrival in Auvers took an adjacent room at Ravoux’s inn … whereupon they took out their Pokemon cards and dueled. Vince lost Charizard, which prompted his mind-blowing feat.
  • More ‘whom’ rather than ‘what’. I believe her name was Iris.
  • Orbiting the sun in an irregular elliptical pattern.
  • Painting “The White House at Night”. As there is no sign of Benjamin Harrison in the picture, I presume he wasn’t home.
  • Painting a picture of the sky over a white house at night in Auvers-sur-Oise and singing: I’m your Venus, I’m your fire. Either that or rejoicing over the birth of Stan Laurel.
  • Painting The White House At Night, and Uranus. [Well if I use a mirror, yes it does look a bit like that – anyway moving right along ….]
  • Painting Venus with the diffraction limited resolution of his spectacles
  • Painting Venus. He tracked it down next to some old house in France.
  • Painting, in fact according to MY sources 8pm was during the painting of his picture, but neither the end nor the beginning. It simply marks the approximate point he put what his ignorant mind found to be a star on it. DAMN I’M GOOD!
  • Poor old van Gogh. After cutting off his ear (thus giving Chopper Read ideas) and staying in the loony bin for a spell, he was released in May 1890 and stayed with his friend Dr Gachet. He spent two solid months painting (about a picture a day, so on the 16th of June, he was either painting or writing a letter to his brother Theo. Or at 8pm, he could have been asleep. Stuffed if I can find it anywhere on the net – obviously I’m not looking in the right places. He shot himself in July that year. Tragic waste of talent.
  • Probably wondering why he bothered with painting paintings that no one except his stupid brother liked.
  • Putting the finishing touches to an etching, and picking the scab off a nasty wound.
  • Really… he was breathing in and out, painting “crows over a field” – What is really fascinating is at that same moment, the US congress passed a law that forbade the importing of goods manufactured by slave labour! I mean that’s a milestone!
  • Reducing his ear count by one probably
  • Rotting.
  • Serenading Ursula Loyer
  • Singing “starry, starry night?”
  • Sliding into his umpteenth glass of absinthe (which makes the heart grow fondue)
  • Taking his daily dosage of homeopathic medicine, as prescribed by the quack in whose house he was staying. If only he’d been staying with a proper doctor he could have been cured of his depression and spent many more years painting beautiful pictures of corn and people (with and without ears). Instead, he was munching placebos and polishing his gun. One more example of the tragic effects of using alternative therapies.
  • The two Texans were “astonished by the accuracy of the star’s position in the picture”. First they calculate the time according to the position of Venus in the painting, and then they are amazed that the position of Venus is consistent with the time. Do all astronomers reason in circles?
  • Trying to call his brother Theo on that marvellous new toy, the telephone (twice as difficult to use with only one ear), not yet having caught up with the fact that mobile phone Free Time now starts at 9 pm instead of 8.
  • Ummm…. [No – he was more renowned for his paintings than his music. Like Captain Beefheart.]
  • van Gogh was probably the only Christian missionary in recent years to follow Jesus’ command to “give your worldly goods to the poor and follow me”. Naturally, the church sacked him.
  • Very considerately providing a physics professor and a couple of astronomy post-docs with a wonderful excuse to get out of their cramped, stuffy, underfunded laboratory spaces and go travelling in France to look at scenery and study some truly wonderful paintings in another century or so’s time. I have to admit that the ‘White House’ doesn’t do much for me. I prefer ‘Starry Night’ myself – I have this theory that the stars are depicted in the perfect positions to represent a model of a molecule of nitrogen mustard, an early anti-cancer drug. I have submitted an application for an NH&MRC grant to research Van Gogh’s hitherto uninvestigated pre-emptive interest in pharmacology. There could be undiscovered wonderdrugs represented in his art; I will undertake an arduous course of several months’ travel through Europe and the US, which will involve intensive study of many scenic locations, cultural traditions and art galleries. Oh, the sacrifices we’re prepared to make for science…..
  • Watching the first 30 minutes of the movie Blue Velvet and got a little carried away with the plot.
  • Well according to some astronomer dudes he was painting ‘The White House at Night’, based upon the position of Venus in the painting and where it would have been really (blah, blah, blah). But I am a sceptic, so I reckon Vinnie conned us all and just whacked it in anywhere and was no doubt down the pub chasing skirt by eight.

Question 2

At the Battle of Hastings the combatants on both sides had similar helmets with nose guard, weapons and clothing. How could they tell which side a person was on?

Answer

People tended to know one another, and they recognised the faces of those on their own side, which was difficult because of the helmets.

Easier Ways:

  • The Normans were the ones who had skin that was tinged green, on account of 1) they were still feeling seasick after crossing the English Channel, and 2) the French diet of the 11th century, which included the ingestion of lots of frog puree smoothies. (If someone swore at you in a language you didn’t understand and then tried to kill you, that was probably a pretty good indication that they were the opposition, too.)
  • “…the Saxons were characterised by their ‘kite’-shaped shields, and the Norman invaders were mounted on horseback. ” Gleaned from http://www.ninthart.com. I find nothing humorous in this.
  • Duh – different colour jumpers!
  • If the other person was trying to kill you, he automatically became a member of the opposition
  • According to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” if you were covered in shit, you were not a nobleman and therefore deserved to die, so it didn’t matter which side you were on.
  • According to the Bayeaux tapestry, the Brits were on foot and carried kite shaped shields while the Normans were all on horseback. That should have made it obvious. If, however, the tapestry was wrong, then the shields could have been the clue. On the other hand, the simplest way would be to attract the attention of the opposition by yelling “Oi!” or “hey”” or somesuch. If you were a Saxon and the response to the yell were “Yes?” you give him a smile. If the response were “Oui?” you clobber him with your mace.
  • All the French guys had an out-RAAAA-geous ac-CEENT.
  • Apparently, the Anglo-Saxons were in the custom of wearing facial hair more than the Normans, but I’m not satisfied with that. The Norman chronicler Robert Wace wrote that the Normans had their “cognizances” so that they would not mistake a fellow combatant for an Anglo type. These were badges of some sort, so that’s what I’m going with here. Badges.
  • Are you kidding, Dr.Bob? You and me both wear shirts and pants, we both have noses and hair, how can your rector distinguish you from me, during the grad ceremony? Just to begin, weapons were not similar; Saxons used their famous double-axe, Normans didn’t. Saxons were upon a hill, Normans down. Most of all, look at the horses. Those who eating grass in a quiet place are saxons, those who are carrying a howling slaughterer are normans.
  • Battle of hastings…*tries to remember that episode of “History of Britain”* Accents? Asking somone politely “is it ok if i chop your head off?”?
  • Bows and horses. Perhaps bows *on* horses? (The frilly type, not the arrow-shooting ones)
  • By asking them.
  • By killing an unidentified person, their allegiance could then be determined by where the body was buried.
  • By smelling their opponents breath. Thus the English were conkered.
  • By the way they were facing–Normans, invading from the south, faced north, and Saxons, defending against invaders from the south, faced south.
  • By Their Cheerleaders
  • By their haircuts
  • By their accent…either that or that the Saxon’s generally used round shields and the Normans favoured the kite (help I’m flying away..)
  • Did the people have similar shaped heads, similar haircuts and no racial diffrences? I think not. Actually, they were, but it didn’t matter – one side was all female and the other all male, no wonder there was an invasion!
  • Different shaped shields were used by each and both sides were facing the opposite direction to the other.
  • Dr Bob, it’s not like they all got muddled up together. Either they were in your group or they weren’t.
  • Easily. The normans were irr B HC/MC JLS Sh, irr C MI JLS Sh and irr C LI B; while the saxons were irr C HI 2HCW and irr D MI IPW. In other words, the normans were a well-armed professional army that included mounted knights and archer support while the saxons were a knackered, pig-shit covered rabble armed only with axes, gardening implements and poles with knives tied to the end.
  • Garlic breath emanating from the Normans
  • If they spoke a funny language then they weren’t friendly.
  • If they were trying to kill you, they were on the other side.
  • If you were of the Saxon persuasion yelling “one Saxon is as good as 10 Normans” in French would suffice. The Normans would then have shown our plucky Saxon how wrong he was.
  • It didn’t really matter since they were all friends and were fighting off the aliens.
  • Kilts. [Woops, wrong battle. Never mind, kill ‘em all anyway]
  • Listen carefully – one side is speaking French.
  • Oh, uh, I think maybe they had different colored motorcycles. Yeah, that’s it.
  • One side was on top of the hill, the other at the bottom.
  • One side was swearing and grunting in Saxon, the other in French.
  • Persons tend to lie on the front side or back side after a particularly nasty blow from a battle-axe. The “military intelligence” division probably figured this out toward the end of the battle.
  • Probably by asking each other politely for their names and particulars. One side was Saxon, the other Norman, so the armies were probably speaking different languages. A bilingual footsoldier had to be on his mettle, but stood the best chance of survival also.
  • Quickly or not at all.
  • Seals, banners and markings on shields. This last has been proposed as the birth of heraldry. It cannot, however, have been that effective since William the Conqueror himself had to take off his helmet at one point to prove to his followers that he had not been killed.
  • Shirts and No-shirts.
  • Smell. The Norrmen had not washed for a while having crossed the sea. Hang on a minute… The Saxons are basically Brits, aren’t they…!
  • The losing side were all dead under their differently shaped shields.
  • The Normans had horses but no battleaxes, and the Saxons had battle axes but no horses. A disarmed horseless soldier was in big trouble!
  • The Normans had horses.
  • The Normans reeked of garlic; the English of B.O. Simple really.
  • The Normans were clean shaven.
  • The Normans were facing North and the Saxons were facing South. They knew they had to maintain this orientation to tell friend from foe, so after the initial charge through each others’ lines, the Saxons disappeared into the sea and the Normans took possession of England.
  • The Normans were wearing French Knickers and high cut g strings. You see the armour was only worn on the top half of the body. The English were wearing fish net stockings and high heels. A bugger to run in, but they looked good.
  • The Normans, being nasty, evil and wicked, stank (slightly less than the poms anyway).
  • The ones facing downhill and with arrows sticking out of them were Anglo, the ones in the ditch were Norman. Easy.
  • The ones yelling ‘Aux armes, mes freres’ and ‘Oh merde, j’ai perdu un oeil’ were probably the invaders.
  • The Saxons had sacks on. (Ugh, that was terrible)
  • The smell of garlic? The Jean-Paul Gautier designer chain mail compared to the bog-standard M&S chain mail? Seems to be that the Normans habitually shaved and clipped their hair whereas the Anglo-Saxons had beards and rather long, lice-laden locks.
  • The Anglo-Saxons stopped for a cup of tea at 5pm.
  • The Wargames Research Group army lists include such interesting troop types as 4-horse scythed chariots, covered waggons, mobile towers, incendiary pigs, caltrops, fake elephants, heavy camels, fire-pots, elderly, women, children, unfit or unwilling, sheep, and druids sacrificing screaming women on an altar.
  • Their passports
  • They asked a potential combatant which team they batted for, followed by questions about which star sign they were, they asked what they’d like to drink. Then they were all pissed and it really didn’t matter.
  • They couldn’t, William had to take off his helmet and ride around yelling to convince his men he was still alive.
  • They couldn’t. After a general slaughter, the battle, and the future kingship of England, was settled by a coin toss.
  • They didn’t, and so people killed each other randomly until Guillame le Batard lucked out and ended up with followers surviving but not enemies. Sincerely, Mr. Ford Made of Corpses.
  • They had different coloured feathers in their helmets
  • They had different crests on their shields, didn’t they?
  • They had little flags with different colours on their lances. It wasn’t very practical. Every time you ran a churl through your flag got stuck in the bowels. Everybody ended up fighting for the red-blooded side.
  • They held up both hands and whichever one makes an ‘L’ shape when you stretch fingers and thumb out – well that’s left – anyone on the other side is on the right side – simple really – but then they had to drop their weapons so it was probably easier just to fight everybody – much more fun too.
  • They ummed…they arghhed…until old Willie decided that his black horses stood a full hand taller than the English ones…
  • They were armed differently. The Anglo-Saxons carried big shields, axes, and farm implements, while the Normans had swords, bows, ballistas, trebuchets, testudos, and other *good* weapons.
  • Well, it took some time for some of them to wake up to it, but then they spotted that one side was wearing ORANGE and the other was wearing GREEN, and that was enough to distinguish each other.
  • Well, the ones facing uphill were Norman, and the ones with the arrows sticking out of them were the English.
  • Whether they could play paper, rocks and scissors?
  • Whoever was winning, that is what side they were on
  • You couldn’t that was the fun of the battle, it allowed you to beat on the kid who sat behind you in class and kept kicking the back of your chair. It also made it real easy to frag the unpopular officers. Beside the battles were dangerous enough, imagine if you accidentally hurt one of the other side’s players, some bad feeling might erupt and with all those sharp objects and arrows someone might have an eye out. As me old mum used to say “Its all fun and games till someone has an eye out”.

Question 3

What sport is the most dangerous – that is, the largest number of people die while playing it?

Answer

Lawn bowls

Other Answers

  • According to my Harry Potter books, it’s Quidditch 😉
  • An old report in National Geographic states that lightning strikes make golf the deadliest sport. Automobile racing has a strong claim, but as there are more golfers than racecar drivers, the actual numbers might be higher.
  • Armchair TV sport.
  • Based on what a Web search for “most dangerous sport” turns up, horse cave base dive racing.
  • Bowling, judging by the number of older ladies playing this sport, but on the second thought it could be bingo…
  • Boxing
  • BRIDGE, since it’s been played all over the world by mostly elderly people.
  • Chess! Ahh, you thought you had us with “Lawn Bowles”, but Lawn Bowles typically last only hours. Chess games can last minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years or even combinations. See it’s just not as well documented Bob.
  • Climbing Chomolungma (Mt Everest) probably kills the greatest percentage of participants (approx. 20%)
  • Cricket! Remember what Douglas Adams wrote about the cricket wars?!
  • Cricket. From boredom.
  • Cricket. Of old age.
  • Duelling – apparently one person always dies.
  • Duration breathing.
  • Dwarf tossing.
  • Everything from cave diving to cheerleading CLAIMS “most dangerous” status. How are you defining “sport” or “play”? Skydiving from the Golden Gate Bridge (sans equipment) could be described as a “sport” as could erotic asphyxiation.
  • Getting caught by the girl’s father and he has a BIG shotgun.
  • Gladiatorial combat – near 100% fatality rate. Chariot racing wasn’t too healthy either.
  • Golf (if you consider Golf a sport)– the sport of old people who have heart attacks on the golfgreen.
  • Golf, and why not. According to Gareth Evans, two other four letter words were already taken
  • Golf…they die of boredom
  • Golf? I don’t know what made me say that…(lightning? It’s one of those awful questions that always gets asked at quiznights)
  • Hang gliding
  • Have you ever seen a rock-climbing, motor cycling, jockey?
  • Historically, probably poker, at least in America.
  • I have encountered claims that each of the following are the world’s most dangerous sport: 3 Day Eventing, Backyard wrestling, Base jumping, Big-game hunting, Boxing, Bull riding, Cheerleading, Diving (cave, sky, free), Football (all kinds), Freestyle motocross, Golf, Horse racing, Ice hockey, Motor racing (all kinds, including speedway ice racing), Pod racing, Pole vaulting, Spectating, Spring turkey hunting, Woodcock shooting, Wrestling. The sport with the highest death toll (including both direct and indirect deaths) would be Formula One motor racing, due to the combination of both massive audiences and massive tobacco sponsorship. But this doesn’t answer your question… The sport with the highest rate of death for active participants would be Russian Roulette. But this also doesn’t answer your question… You may have come to the conclusion that I don’t know the answer and am stalling for time. This is true. This is my guess: lawn bowls and similar sports. Also see http://toolshed.artschool.utas.edu.au/moci/surfing/intro.html
  • If media reports are to be believed, then fishing (which, for reasons unclear to me, apparently qualifies as a sport) would have to be pretty dangerous. We’re forever hearing about fisherpeople getting washed off rocks, slipping off cliffs, falling out of boats, getting lost in bad weather, getting swamped by freak waves, etc etc etc. I suspect that the traditional requirement to consume lots of alcohol during play doesn’t help much. Otherwise, it’d have to be lawn bowls – they seemed to drop like flies all the time at my grandfather’s club, and there was the added hazard of my grandmother threatening that if he brought home any more bloody silverware for her to polish, she’d brain him with it.
  • If you call Base jumping a sport, it has the highest rate of fatalities per participant day. For every 100,000 base jumping participant days, there are 7000 fatalities. Second place is high altitude Himalayan mountaineering with 4000 fatalities per 100,000.
  • In 532AD, following accusations of foul-play at the Hippodrome, rioting of sports fans in Constantinople led to over 35,000 fatalities.
  • In terms of the absolute number of deaths, statistics from the US suggest it’s probably horse racing. In terms of the number of deaths relative to the number of participants, it’s likely to be something less popular like base jumping, but then the statistics on such less popular sports are not readily available.
  • In the US of A, it’s our own brand of football. Although among women, the highest casualty rate is among cheerleaders. Perhaps they, like, totally die of embarrassment when they screw up the routine.
  • Insulting a Mafia hit man.
  • Javelin-catching.
  • Just because the most people die while playing it doesn’t make it the most dangerous sport. Deaths as a percentage of the players gives a better figure. However, you have said most deaths in any sport so it would have to be a sport with a huge number of players. Swimming, fishing, golf and netball are possibilities.
  • Lawn bowls then fishing then sex (really nasty all at once)
  • Lawn Bowls, obviously.
  • Lawn bowls, surely.
  • Lawn bowls.
  • Lawn bowls. Contestants tend to be in the age group that favours myocardial infarction….
  • Lawn bowls. Think what age most of them are. (Horribly, this is probably the correct answer.)
  • Life (100%)
  • Luca Brasi is sleeping on the bottom of the ocean. Fishing is the sport with the highest human body count. In Holland however it’s a card game called klaverjas … lots of heart attacks among the elderly, and I once dislocated my elbow while playing it.
  • Marathon.
  • Net surfing?
  • Now look – do you mean the largest number or the highest proportion of participants??? Jeez, tut, sigh, rolling of eyes! [Clue: I used the words ‘largest number’ in the question] If the former, it’s probably yawn bowls. If the latter, I’d guess Russian Roulette.
  • Offhand, Russian Roulette. Otherwise, car-racing. I won’t mention what some people do on a bed… (but I just did!) (Is war a sport?)
  • Peanut butter.
  • Playing soccer against the Taliban United SC. Long known as a bunch of pisspots and pranksters, this jovial bunch have never lost a home match, at least until the latest fixture where they are at home to the Bush All Stars.
  • Rock Fishing – if it counts as a sport
  • rumpty tumpty
  • Sex. What do you mean it’s not a team sport? It is around here, thats why you have all those yobbos sitting in the stands shouting “Doggy, Doggy Doggy, OI, OI, OI”
  • Skiing
  • Soccer springs to mind, certainly the most deaths of spectators. Surfing the pipeline is a pretty lethal hobby too.
  • Soccer, a sport so bloody dangerous to player and spectator alike that it should be banned forthwith.
  • Surf. Ah, surf, they say. Surf? Yeah, surf… but not while riding waves, just when putting down the surfboard from the car. Uh, surf… Or maybe NetSurf? How many people were killed by histeric symphtoms after occurring in australian quiz web-sites?
  • Surfing is the most dangerous sport, according to the Institute of Insurers and Actuaries.
  • Swimming, look at all the pommy and Asian tourists we manage to drown each year
  • Team sport or individual sport? Olympic events or do sports like tiddlywinks and gum-boot tossing count? I found data suggesting that cycling is the most dangerous sport in terms of deaths per participants, but those figures include kids knocked off their bikes outside their house. Otherwise I would have thought jogging would be the correct answer.
  • Tennis, those cross checks into the boards can be murder. I know it is supposed to be a non-contact sport, but not the way they play it in Glasgow.
  • The largest number of people die playing golf. I know, I put my playing partners in mortal danger every time I wield a club.
  • The most insurance claims for injuries in sport come from surfers and most of the injuries are caused getting the surfboard off the car.
  • The sport of kings, – riding ’em, not betting on ’em – anyway, the world could do with fewer kings.
  • The thrill seeking action sport called “I’m The Marlboro Man” – It’s mostly a mind game.
  • There is a sport called suicide, where contestants attempt to kill themselves. Statistically speaking this is the most dangerous sport known to mankind since there was a recent case of many assuming the identity of “Lawn Boweling” elites, only to kill themselves in an even more elaborate death.
  • This tired old Internet question again, hey Bob! The trouble here is always whether it’s a sport and whether you are after gross numbers or percentages. Anyway, generally fishing wins coz so many people do it worldwide and well, you know all about the Darwin awards.
  • Tiger snake juggling.
  • Train surfing – I heard it will be an Olympic sport next time round.
  • Winning the toss in the Afghan open, and electing to receive.
  • Yeah, well, surprisingly it’s chess. All those long distance, slow games give people ample opportunity to pop of in the middle of the session. If they die, they lose, of course.

Question 4

How fast is Australia moving northwards?

Answers

  • 0,00000000433493041295916 Km/hr, I guess. Or, if you prefer, 38mm per year. If you’re interested in the next Football World Championship that will be celebrated in Japan on next summer, the only hope is to kick away Tasmania as hard as you can, hoping in a good action-reaction effect.
  • 10 mm per year (according to the South Australian Museum). So Bruce Ruxton has nothing to worry about (in his lifetime anyway) about invasions from Indonesia occuring by a storming of Australia via the sandbars (rather like those Vikings in last month’s quiz…).
  • 10 mm per year. Does this mean the water in your toilet is starting to swirl the other direction?
  • 5.7e-9 km/h (about 5cm/year). Amazingly, atomic clocks are precise enough to measure the doppler shift of light at such speeds.
  • 6cm /year, or as fast away from John Howard as it can go.
  • 7cm per year. Not too fast then, but faster than “Dubya”
  • 8 cm/year according to www.geol.uwa.edu.au/geology/postgrad/mk/mkphd.html
  • 990 million miles an hour
  • Aaagh – no – please don’t leave us behind – can we come too, we’re only a little country, honestly, no-one would notice.
  • About 2 inches/year – roughly the same speed as fingernails grow, slower than the change in the distance between the Earth and the moon but faster than the tower of Pisa is falling.
  • About 4cm per annum. God hasn’t quite made up his mind just where in the world we look best. It’ll be nice to settle down eventually.
  • About 5.3 billionths of a mph (that’s 2.4 x 10^-9 m/s for the SI enthusiasts in the audience). Hmm… I guess I’d better start brushing up on my Pidgin…
  • About 50mm a year or about as fast as one’s hair grows.
  • About 7 centimeters every year. When you folks finally get to where you’re heading, be a good sport and don’t get disappointed that Peary has beat you to it.
  • About as fast as fingernails grow.
  • According to Dr Scotese, a geologist at the University of Texas, Australia is moving Northish at about 7.5 cm per year. He estimates that in about 250 million years, Oz will collide with Borneo and China. It’s obviously going to be a long wait until we can just walk down the street to get an authentic steamed pork roll, so until then I’ll just keep patronising the local Chinese takeaway.
  • According to the Bureau of Statistics about 1000 Victorians move northwards every year. On the other hand about 1500 Queenslanders move southwards.
  • As fast as it can, I suspect.
  • At exactly the same rate as MacDonalds opens another franchise in Queensland.
  • At the rate of a fingernail! At least that’s what I was always told, though that seems sorta fast. Maybe my fingernails are just really fast.
  • Australian tectonic plate: North Velocity (mm/year): 51.89 East Velocity (mm/year): 20.79 Or, to the nearest kilometre per second, ZERO.
  • By carefully noting my position several times over a ten minute period using a borrowed GPS, I can categorically state that Australia is moving at around 6 centimetres per year.
  • Continental drift can be determined with the factor of continental incontinence. As our dollar becomes worth less, the island becomes lighter, and prepares to invade Indonesia.
  • Do you mean the continent or the people? If it’s the people then it’s a negative rate – they seem to be coming SOUTH to Austraya in droves these days…
  • Faster than you think, but not fast enough to get away.
  • From the perspective of those in the Andromeda Galaxy Australia (and the rest of the planet) is moving northwards at 0.29 times the speed of light. From the perspective of the rest of our Galaxy, the northwards velocity is a paltry 0.00004 times the speed of light (the velocity along the planar axis of the Galaxy is greater.)
  • Good God, Dr Bob! Are you trying to tell me that those appalling boat people will soon be able to WALK to the Woomera Hilton?
  • Good old plate tectonics get a run – actually its moving northwest, but snails go faster!
  • Hard to say. Pauline seems to have lost the plot, but Little Johnny seems to have pinched some of her agenda.
  • I have head varying figures [wow! they must be really strong ones] but it is between 5cm and 8cm a year.
  • I think it was at about 80 km/h when I went crazy in geography class and threw my book out of the window.
  • I was informed that we were moving at 6 centimetres per year. However, I have driven a star post deep into the ground, so I can safely say that I have stopped that little continental drift!
  • If you mean magnetic north, then Australia is moving about minus 10 km per year north on average (ie south). If you mean geographic north, then Australia is moving north between -11 and +11 meters in a 14 month period as a result of the Chandler wobble. You may not have considered plate tectonics, but the plate that Australia sits on is moving towards the plate to our north at about 6 cm per year.
  • It depends on it’s polarity; if we get a large number of American Tourists then quite fast, otherwise we could even go south!
  • It is? Good news. I am rather tired of that 45 000 km holiday trip.
  • It’s not, it’s moving west. If you lie down facing the sky in Australia along the north-south axis with your feet facing due south, you can distinctly feel the movement, like a series of small earthquakes lurching to your right. And if you peer into the clouds, you might make out the figure of Ghengis Khan to your left.
  • It’s not, just feels as if it is, because of the melting polar ice cap. It’s the same sensation as pulling up beside a truck that starts to inch forward, giving you the barf-making sensation that you’re rolling backwards.
  • Judging by the seppo content of commercial television, quite far up the US of A’s arse.
  • Just about the same rate as my lovely passion purple painted fingernails are growing – approx 5cm/year
  • Not as fast are we’re going up shit creek.
  • Not as fast as it was when Bob and Paul were in office. (A little political joke)
  • Not as quickly as Tasmania [Aargh does this mean that Tasmania will collide with the mainland? panic, panic …]
  • Not fast enough for the average New Zealander’s liking.
  • Not fast enough! Do you know how long it takes for me to fly from Amsterdam to Sydney?!
  • Not fast enough, like I live in Melbourne and it’s heaps cold this summer.
  • Not half as fast as its people tread southwards, to prevent a collision with New Guinea!
  • Not very, if it’s flying with Ansett.
  • See the book “Telling Lies For God” by Prof. Ian Plimer, in which, among other things, he indicates that the northward continental drift of Austraya is about 2-5 cm per year.
  • Slow enough so that Tasmania won’t notice that the rest of Australia is trying to escape them. It’s not that Tasmania’s bad, you know, it’s just… not Australia’s type.
  • Slowly, by human standards
  • That depends on how much Foster’s you’ve had in the last hour.
  • The tectonic plate which has the “Australia-shaped” bit poking out above sea level is moving northwards at a rate of 7 – 8 cms per year. Victorians, on the other hand, are flocking northwards in large numbers, to live in Queensland, although the flow has steadied since Jeff was knocked off his throne.
  • Well, if I stayed where I am in Sydney, it would take me about 20 million years for Melbourne to come to me, which is if anything, too soon :-).
  • We aren’t. Our country is standing still while the earth rotates south.

Question 5

What do you get if you calculate (180+52√3) / (45√93 + 39√31 -201√3 – 217) . . . where, in case it doesn’t come out, “√” is a square root sign

Answer

An approximation to pi, accurate to about 9 places. It cannot be exactly pi because pi is transcendental and cannot be the root of an equation.

Equally Inaccurate Answers

  • 1
  • 1.03039542920099816582765055320181…, assuming that you only want positive square roots.
  • 2.0121364376595999585995561613812
  • 3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510582097494459230781640628620899862803482534211706798214808651328
  • 42? How would I know if I could do maths I wouldn’t have needed to get and Arts Degree.
  • -8.967741936 a really long number
  • A burst bloodvein in the brain.
  • A fictional result since the question is fictional and could never actually be carried out with marbles (I know, I tried).
  • A headache (At least in my case) Define x=sqrt(3), y=sqrt(31) we get: 4(45+13x)/(-67x^3+13x^2y+45xy-7y^2) Beyond that, I left factorising behind me when I learnt the quadratic formula. Bah.
  • A headache! Oh, unless its 42 and then we’ll all be happy (although its probably a wanky, slightly more accurate version of pi than 22 over 7).
  • A headache, maths was never my strong suit.
  • A headache. And a lot of scribbly lines on my notepaper.
  • A headache. It’s enough to make one cut one’s own ear off.
  • A Migraine…as well as a strange craving for a pi with mushy peas
  • A number quite close to but not equal to Pi. The first 10 decimals are correct but no more.
  • A piece of pi?
  • A feeling of surprise, to find that the scientific calculator at “Start – Programs – Accessories – Calculator” does not have a square root function? [Yes I’d be surprised if the “sqrt” button was missing from mine too, but it’s not]
  • Flashbacks to feelings of mathematical impotency during year 11 Pure Maths class?
  • A piping pile of pint-sized pious pietism.
  • A reasonable approximation of the value of pi.
  • A surd, absurd you should ask any one of us to use a calculator
  • A waste of time… alternately 0.519394004 (really Bob, a math question?)
  • aaaaah Bob, after six days with my abacus I can say – Collingwood (pi, get it huh? huh?).
  • about pi….give or take….
  • Actually, you get Pi = 3.1415926… I could have tried to show how this formula is derived, but since I have forgotten how to factorise quadratic equations (if indeed there is one there), I can’t.
  • All right, everybody, do we all remember our BOMDAS rule from Grade 2? First we do the brackets, and work out what’s inside, Then we look for ‘Of’ (it’s a word that means divide), Next is ‘M’ for multiply, we know that means ‘times’ ‘D’ is for division, the dots around a line, Last we add, and then subtract, then it’s time to shout, “Teacher go and get stuffed, I’ve worked the bastard out!” (Hey, don’t laugh; the only way I could get my moronic baby brother to remember stuff was to write little poems with a rude line at the end. Mum held me personally accountable for his academic progress, so I was motivated to find an effective teaching aid – if he failed an exam/project/essay/subject, I was the one who got yelled at.) Having BOMDASed, I get 3.1416, which looks remarkably familiar….. aha! pi! (Oh, don’t remind me, he was hopeless at geometry, even the poem about ‘square roots’ couldn’t help him.)
  • Amazingly it looks like Pi. But what’s even more remarkable is the fact that it’s so inaccurate that if you wrote Pi down using the same number of decimal places as numbers in the question (21), it’s a LOT more accurate!
  • Approximately, 3.141592653637522035162874, which is approximately equal to pi + 4.77289319178453e-11. The number is irrational but, unlike pi, it is not transcendental. Hence it is not suitable as a subject for transcendental meditation.
  • Arabic numerals
  • Australia’s Southward rate. [Then it must be a Pi Rate. Everyone: Groan]
  • Close enough to the Biblical Pie.
  • Confused…I need a cup of coffee and a piece of pi (3.14159)
  • Er… um… 42? – no, too obvious, that joke’s been done to death.
  • Extreme frustration?
  • Flat batteries in my calculator and a tired brain. The answer is probably 42 anyway.
  • Four ‘n’ Twenty.
  • Fractious.
  • Hmmm, let me whip out my trusty abacus. How many people are going to answer 42? 42 people, that’s how many. [About right]
  • *I* get 42. I have no idea what you get.
  • I get 3.14 (pi?), but there must be a trick to it!
  • I have no idea. Bored?
  • I haven’t the faintest idea and I don’t know why I should care.
  • I prefer not to participate. I may be irrational, but this question appears to be vulgar.
  • If I was to calculate that, I’d get an approximation for PI that was accurate for the first 10 significant digits. This would shortly be followed by a feeling of sadness at the frivolous waste of using 21 decimal digits and assorted symbols to accurately represent 10 decimal digits and one symbol. You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
  • If you’re an engineer, about 6. (If you overdesign by 100% there’s more chance that the bridge/apartment building/shopping centre will stand up despite your shoddy design). [And if you’re a cosmologist, about 100 million]
  • Must be 42.
  • No, no, and for the surd time, no! (Sorry, that outburst was absurd, I’ll have to think of sumthing else. Sorry to divide your attention.)
  • Pass.
  • Pi, but why would you bother to get it this way, 22/7 does a pretty good job too (OK, who needs accurate pi in astronomy and painting anyway)
  • Pi, roughly. Or rough pie. With lamb filling.
  • Pi. And also the equivalent in euro’s of 6.92 guilders, 6.18 Deutschmark and 131.54 Belgian francs.
  • Pi? Dislocated fingers? Migraine? Constipation? Free entry to Mensa? Piles? Premature ejaculation? A furrowed brow? A Four’n Twenty ( get it huh? huh?)
  • Pie in the sky
  • Pi-eyed.
  • RSI. But my trusty calculater says pi (3.14), but I’ll be buggered how.
  • Sir, I bear a rhyme excellingIn mystic force and magic spellingCelestial sprites elucidateAll my own striving can’t relate.
  • Something that looks like pi but isn’t. Sort of like Mrs. Smith’s.
  • The ratio of the circumference of a circle to it’s diameter, or close enough. You also get a strange sense of grief at realising that you will never ever retrieve the time you spent figuring it out using your Microsoft Windows calculator, coupled with the frustration at only being able to calculate it to 25 decimal places!
  • Three, or thereabouts. Close enough it makes no difference. Also, a little closer to the day I will have to change my calculator batteries.
  • Well, I get a number. Oh, Dr.Bob, be serious… the simple fact that that number has mantissa and nine digits after the comma equal to pi, does mean nothing, doesn’t it? Otherwise, I can say I am the whole Universe, too… I perfectly have coincidence with a part of the Universe, even if an infinite other part is quite different. Just like that number and pi.
  • Windows calculator struggles with that one
  • You get bloody angry if you don’t have a calculator. However with the super whizbang things I had to buy for my children, you get pi or 3.1412 or that number you multiply the radius by.

Question 6a

Picture: What is the girl on the right saying -or- what is going on -or- where is this?

Answer

You can’t hear what she’s saying because this is a silent film. You can’t see what’s going on, either – probably just as well. This is the outflow pond from the Blue Lagoon geothermal power station in Iceland – the chemicals in the sludge are thought to have curative properties.

She is saying:

  • “Oh shut, I hate these sux-hour Wagner rehearsals – my fungers end toes hev gone all pruney.” Rhine Maidens: the NZ Opera plays Rotorua.
  • “Sit up straight or I’ll twist your piercing!”
  • “Get on with the bloody photo” (in Icelandic)
  • “Velkomin á heimasíðu Ferðamálaráðs Íslands. Hér má finna allar nauðsynlegustu upplýsingar fyrir þá sem hyggja á ferðalög um eigið land og einnig skemmtilegan fróðleik um land og þjóð. Hnapparnir hér til vinstri vísa til aðalefnisflokka sem leiða þig áfram í þessari fróðlegu ferð um upplýsingavef Ferðamálaráðs. Góða skemmtun!”
  • “Althings come to those that wait” [Groan]
  • “This communal living is all very well but isn’t it time someone changed the bathwater”
  • “I’m freezing my arse off here! I mean, here I am in Iceland or where-ever those hot water spring geyser things are, sitting in hot water while the air temperature is minus 50 degrees and I am in a cossie. What sort of git am I, when I could go to a proper sauna? See, my smile is frozen to my face – I look like a Sale of the Century gift shop girl!”
  • “Don’t touch me there”
  • “Get your hands off me!”
  • “Helge darling, I said hold my hand.”
  • “I wish I had the money to get my tits done”
  • “I’m sure glad i took those hormones … please move your hand up a little”
  • “Keeping holding him under, girls, he’s almost dead.”
  • “Oh my god, I am going to have to sue Dow Corning, my right breast implant just burst…” (Note the unnatural looking l.breast, with the more normal “droopy” one on the right!)
  • “Ooh, Cindy, don’t hold him under there! They don’t call him Dr Bob for nothing!”
  • “Tell me honestly – does this swimsuit make me look fat?”
  • “Welcome to Valhalla!”
  • (Sotto voce in Icelandic) “It’s that salivating Dr Bob and his camera again. What does ‘showusyatitz’ mean?”
  • “Do I look fat in this swimsuit?”
  • “Does my arse look big in this?”
  • “Heh! I just farted and they still have to smile for the camera!”
  • “Oh Dr Bob I love your new red cozy, and swimming in goats milk has done wonders for your complexion”.
  • “This may look like fun, but it’s hell on the haemorrhoids.”
  • “Look girls, there’s that cute guy we met in the bar last night!” Believe it or not dr. Bob, but that ‘cute guy’ was me. The name of the girl on the right is Linda Gudjohnsson; we are getting married this summer…
  • “Shit shit shit, two others in the same frock and one is even the same colour”.
  • She’s saying “see that 3rd arm coming out of my waist?”
  • “You can’t see the men because they’re all under… I can feel ’em!”
  • The girl is saying: “Oh, you handsome stud you”, and it’s in my dreams. What is going on? I don’t know, must be puberty setting in.
  • “I’m just going to lay back a bit, and you can put your hand…”
  • “Where’s your other hand?” “Between two pillows…” “Those aren’t pillows!”
  • “Wow, I think men who win Dr. Bob’s Quiz are so sexy. What’s your phone number, stud?” (Of course, this is probably in Iceland and the long-distance rates to the States from there are prohibitively high, so once again I’m out of luck.)
  • Since the picture only represents a split second of real time, there wasn’t enough time for her to say anything, except maybe “ii…”
  • Never mind the conversation, I just wish I had been part of the action.
  • Err, if the one on the right is saying anything, I’d say she’s a ventriloquist.

Question 6b

What is going on?

Answers

  • Who cares? Yowzah!
  • A freakishly large, mutant cat ate several holiday-makers. The girl on the right said “I’ve been practising my bird calls. Listen to this: tweet!” See www.ectopia.net/safi/ln_monster.jpg where you can clearly see the mutant cat’s paw, ready to strike. Note the people in the background – it’s obvious that they can see the cat, and yet they didn’t warn anyone. The bastards.
  • The NZ womens underwater hockey team enjoy assisting the NZ mens underwater hockey team in their training for breath hold by sitting on their faces.
  • Liquid Nitrogen Lake Drained, Revealing Missing Air Reykjavik Stewardesses. Mysterious “Dr Bob” denies all knowledge.
  • Fritha Sigmundsdottir, a top Icelandic model, is telling the photographer through clenched teeth just what she is going to do to him with her father’s electric cattle prod if he doesn’t hurry up and take the picture advertising the Reykjavik hot springs.
  • Shock Accident: Smiles (and Legs) Shattered as Norse Nymphets Bathe in Liquid Nitrogen.
  • Film shoot for a flavoured milk commercial: doublebreasted swimsuits floating in steaming vanilla, propped up by ever-vigilant blonde women, filmed on location in my back yard.
  • A new episode of Baywatch in New Zealand.
  • This looks like a dream of mine. Apart from that bloke in the background. I don’t remember him being there. And the girls in my dream were also…ok I’ll not mention that here. Oh well back to my happy place I go.
  • They are entrants in the vacuous smile competition.
  • I’ll try and be original and say, in relation to ‘what is going on’: another question from Dr Bob.
  • What is going on? It looks like some girls are trying to make moves on each other…. Where is this? In my pool, tonight….
  • Looks like the three Hagarsdottirs from Reykjavik to my jaundiced eye. And I think they are busy making fish-flavoured milk for the Danish export market. And the lass on the right isn’t saying squat, Dr Bob. Her mouth isn’t moving, although it does appear she is contemplating making a clean breast of things shortly.
  • World’s biggest farting-in-the-bath record breaker
  • It’s going on in my mind for a long time….
  • Another question about Iceland? They keep popping up don’t they?

Question 6c

Where is this?

Answers

  • A hot pool where only beautiful people with substantial mammaries are allowed near the camera or to keep their chests entirely out of the water.
  • It’s a thermal spring in Iceland. God, I wish I was there. [Yes, me too – all those places in the sagas, the stone from which Gisli leapt to his death, the farmhouse where Gunnar heroically died, Burnt Njal’s homestead, the ruins of Holar cathedral, the buried hearth posts of the first founders … But perhaps you appreciate a different kind of architecture]
  • It’s the Blue Lagoon in Iceland and they are taking a skin-moisturizing bath. The girl is saying “So nice to see you again, Dr. Bob.”
  • Knowing your fondness of Scandinavia this wasn’t so hard. It’s a picture on a postcard from Iceland, showing the Blue Lagoon. The man in the background is actually Captain Beefheart, saying the girls are too much for his mirror.
  • Lets see, scantily clad blondes, hot water steaming from a pool, looks like snow on the hills in the background, apparently a lot of chemicals in the water and the barely recognisable outline of an inverted grey nurse shark that the girls have hold of. Must be Western Port Bay.
  • Loch Ness Thermal Springs, conveniently located near the Loch Ness Nuclear Facility coolant outflow.
  • Modesty forbids me from commenting.
  • Nevermind that, if you look left above the far woman you can see Bigfoot.
  • Pamukkale, Turkey? Perhaps it’s something DELIGHTful… Sorry. <WHACK thud>
  • Perhaps the young ladies are spectators at the world masturbation championships. They are sitting in the top row of the auditorium.
  • That’s the possibly Blue Lagoon in Iceland. It is rather sulphury so that’s why Icelanders have pale skin and yellow hair.
  • Valhalla.
  • Wait. Those are smokestacks in the background. Smokestacks + mountains + wading pool + steam everywhere + made-up young women in bathing suits = The Land of Bizarre Erotica.
  • When little Jemima Frankenstein went with her parents to visit eccentric old Great-Uncle Victor, little did anyone know that the seemingly harmless act of a giggling child dropping Malibu Barbie into the ‘spa’ behind the garden shed would have such alarming consequences.
  • Laxness is characteristic of Icelandic literature. [Groannnnn]

Compulsory or Optional Comments:

  • Is this compulsory or optional these days? I am confused.
  • “Some of you will die, but that’s a sacrifice I am willing to make”. Quote from King Farquad, Shrek.
  • A lot of sex in the quiz this month Dr Bob. [Yes I admit it – I really must remove that Web camera from the top of my monitor]
  • Aaaah Bob, your quiz is the only justification for the web!
  • Are we there yet?
  • Are you a builder, Bob?
  • As you can see, I don’t actually know the answers to any of these questions. What does that pointy thing like an elf’s boot in the maths problem mean?
  • Bob, which of those girls is your mother, which is your sister and which is your daughter? And more to the point: what sort of inbreeding went on to create such a result?
  • Burrrrrrp
  • Can I have the girl in the red swimsuit? It’d be especially nice if the girl on her right (my left) would tag along, too.
  • Can you put some Ballarat questions in? [I bet you’d still get them wrong]
  • Don’t come running to me with a broken leg.
  • Dr. Bob I am deeply offended that you have chosen to cheapen your quiz, by putting in tacky photos of women in swimsuits. Lets get back to the photos of the naked women and return the tone of the quiz back to the realm of naked titties, and knob and fart jokes.
  • Geez, I could answer all of these!
  • Great work Dr Bob! Remember me from netFM radio, 6pm Thursdays www.netfm.net? [Remember! Oh, the sleepless nights – how could I forget?]
  • Hrumph
  • I can’t thank you enough for your medical adcive, Dr. Bob. [I do spellign adcive too. Always glda to hlep. If you live in Denver then you are at more risk from dying from cosmic rays than in other places, unless they are equally high up. Here’s some homeopathic software: 1 I also sell homeopathic water, which works better when it is used to wash down a few morphine tablets]
  • I know that in Australia it’s summer, I know. It’s hot, I know. But please, Dr.Bob… tell me how much persons gave the right answer to the picture question. Gosh. Greetings from the lands below the italian Alps, minus twelve Celsius, today. Pic question, oh, damn it.
  • I think I’d better go sleep now.
  • If you had more picture questions like this month’s, I suspect your web traffic would increase dramatically.
  • I’m a virgin to you (and your quiz)…will you still respect me in the morning? [Uh? There’ll be a morning?]
  • It is not enough merely to succeed, others must be seen to fail.
  • Look, I TRIED to get Hitler back into the proceedings, but it was stretching the point a bit (something I don’t do often these days).
  • More bathing nymph photographs, please!
  • More porn! More porn!
  • My spelling’s appalling, but I can spell “haemorrhoids” without trying. What the hell does that mean? 🙂
  • Nice photo this month Dr. Bob. No really.
  • No comment.
  • Revenge is a dish best served cold, ja?!
  • Seriously, the only reason I do this quiz is for all the other stuff that turns up while searching for the answers… for example http://www.srv.net/~airpig/swim.html
  • Some push the envelope. Some just lick it. And some can’t find the flap.
  • The News-Journal of Mansfield, Ohio, USA, had an article (31 DEC 01) praising anti-creationist Dr. Tim Berra, emeritus prof. at the local branch of the Ohio State U., for his field work in the Adelaide River in Northern Territory, studying nurseryfish, while prepared to fight off crocodile attack. Dr. Bob, are you prepared to fight off crocodiles to advance natural history, as Dr. Berra is? [Well I have argued with creationists, which is much worse]
  • This is one weird site
  • This months quiz is a lot more fun than last months, I had nothing to work with.
  • Uncle Bob, I know that photo wasn’t taken outdoors, you can’t fool me! I also know the real formulas for Pi! Would you believe some crap website claimed Pi = the square root of 9.869604401089? That was a good laugh – sure just square pi why don’t you. I also know Vincent van Gogh died 6 weeks after the painting you asked about and that his first suicide attempt was a big failure! And I also know that it is not true he only sold one painting because his brother bought them all off him didn’t he? Since you are obviously dazzled by my incredible intellect I seriously suggest you consider making the time to write my name down as the winner, for I ALSO know that the moon is moving away from the earth faster then Australia is moving North! Bwahaha, I am so intelligent! I even spelt every word correctly for once!
  • While Titian was mixing rose madderHis model ascended a ladder.Her position, to Titian,Suggested coition,So he leapt up the ladder and had ‘er.
  • Whoops I did it again…
  • Why didn’t they decide to spell “palindrome” the same backwards and forwards?
  • Yeah, there was an election and John Howard is still PM.
  • You don’t happen to have the names and phone numbers of those bodacious babes, do you Dr Bob? [Actually, I do. On the left: Brunnhilde Organtwister, tel. Akureyri 37. In the middle: Helga Bjornsdottir, no phone but come to the farm 43 km north of Altaness and throw stones at the window. On the right: Muhammad Pashtanoglu, drag artist, Reykjavik 3579.]
  • You horrible man, I still have bad memories about going down [on?] a maths group for being unable to factorise in yr 10. Just as long as none of the other maths postgrads find out my secret…
  • You’ll have to dig up some less absurd questions
  • Your quiz is way tops
  • You’re a dirty perve, Dr Bob. Nekkid people one months, blondes in bathers a few months later- what’s the world coming to? Kiddies can access this site!