Answers for June 2011

A pretty low response this month – we had e-mail formatting problems early in the month (but AFAIK those were quickly resolved) which would have put some people off bothering to send answers. I’ve just finished editing the answers for the whole of 2006, and in those days (with the old-style web page) we had 100+ answers a month – if the interest is as now, I won’t be able to justify the effort of maintaining the quiz. Anwyay, WINNER for this month is

Glenn Brady

Question 1

How were the winners determined in the first (1956) Eurovision Song Contest?


Nobody can remember

Additional Answers

  • All participating countries sent two jury members to Lugano to vote secretly on the songs, except for Luxembourg whose jury members could not make it to Lugano. The voting system at this Contest allowed juries to vote for any competing song, including those of their own country. Additionally, the Swiss jury was allowed by the EBU to vote on behalf of the Luxembourg delegation. This is a system which was not repeated, and is believed by some to have tipped the result in Lys Assia’s favour. The scores for this Contest have never been made public, which has also led to a number of rumours about other placings. Attempts to reconstruct the voting by interviewing jury members over the past five decades did not lead to any reliable outcome.
  • All the participants were locked into a squash court with only one jar of hair gel and one pot of eyeshadow. The last person standing was declared the winner.
  • Every participating country supplied two jurors. The Letzebuerg delegation couldn’t make it to Switzerland resulting in the Swiss hosts awarding their points instead. This of course had no impact whatsoever on the final results. Switzerland won.
  • First round, by Olympic-sized inter-country graft and corruption, with host Switzerland voting for, er, the Swiss song, AND getting Luxembourg’s voting privilege. Tie-breaker: Inversely to bra-cup size: double-D-cup: 4 points, A-cup: Un point, Manboob: nul pwang. For a recent rendition of Lys Assia’s ‘hit’: klicken Sie hier:
  • Soccer shoot-out, under the auspices of FIFA judges. Switzerland, East Germany and West Germany tied for first place, and through a terrible misunderstanding, brought on so it is rumoured, by the Swiss not understanding what “Donation to my junior football team” meant, and another about what “shoot-out” meant by both East and West Germany,… Well, let’s just say that the rules were changed next year.
  • The first Eurovision I ever saw was in 1974 while studying in England. ABBA won with ‘Waterloo’. Terrific. I remember that the blonde bird had bad teeth, but they were fixed faster than a Hollywood harlot’s as soon as the money started to roll in. Which it swiftly did. Oh, back to the question, yes, nothing to do with 1974 reminiscences, 1956, ok, er, something to do with voting by country and most countries voted for themselves, so the results sucked. As they would have to for wretched Switzerland to win the thing. Yodel-bloody-odelay.
  • This was the one and only year that they trailed giving prizes based on merit and talent. When it became obvious that this was never going to work for Eurovision they decided to get everyone around and sort it out with an all-in fight between the assembled judges armed only with Toblerones.

Question 2

When the Great Falls (Montana) High School building was built in the 1890’s, after the foundations were laid, how was the surrounding backfill compacted?


A flock of sheep was made to trample around it 100 times

Additional Answers

  • 100 sheep driven to circle the building 100 times. Alas, what they drove was not recorded: Dodge Rams?
  • A herd of sheep was driven around the structure 100 times.
  • A herd of students were driven around the building 100 times, ‘yard duty’ meaning something back in the Good Old Days.
  • Adolescent Peer pressure.
  • Compacting backfill costs money. It is a little known fact that the Great Falls backfill was compacted by disaffected angry Mormons who refused to accept Church President Wilford Woodruff’s 1890 renunciation of polygamy. The canny Great Falls HS Board let it be known that Woodruff was buried under the school foundations, and invited the seething sexists from nearby Utah to “come dance on the heretic’s grave”. Which they duly did, in large numbers, heavily, and for free.
  • Prospective students were run over the earthwork. Reportedly they felt a little sheepish.
  • Running dogs, disguised as sheep, were herded around to compress it.

Question 3

If boys playing cricket in the streets of Abbottabad happen to whack a six and the ball sailed over the wall of Osama bin Laden’s hideaway, did they get the ball back?


No, but they were given a generous amount of money for a new ball instead

Additional Answers

  • Definitely not. Mr bin Laden was vehemently opposed to cricket. See? If you try hard enough, you can find something nice to say about everybody.
  • No, even though ObL said he’d keep an eye out for it. Which, last month, he did.
  • No. If Ossama didn’t take it—it may have been burnt inside that compound.
  • Nope: they were paid hundreds of times its worth. Squirming little bodies on the barbed wire were apparently frowned upon by the local garden society.
  • Since cricket is quintessentially a wicket/wicked game he most certainly did not return the ball.
  • Well of course they did. Fired from a bowling machine set to 180km/h. Aimed through a small gap in the front door, located just so a ducking child could experience the pain of playing a Western Imperialist Capitalist Running Dog Game.
  • Yes (insert 10CC “Dreadlock Holiday” here). There are a range of other witty responses, but really difficult to make them funny in the situation…

Question 4

What is the town of Katamatite (NE Victoria, Australia) famous for?



“Welcome to Katamatite – Home of the Winner of the 1995 Stawell Gift”

Additional Answers

  • Burma…sorry I panicked, it is really for the farm fresh penguins, with albatross liver pate.
  • It’s famous for the combined golf course and cemetery, where you will find what remains of Tiger Woods’ career and fortune. You get to play around, sorry a round, for free if you’re young, blonde and female. Also, the famous annual Running Dog Stakes. Next run in mid July, get your bet on now for a long-shot called Ludwig.
  • Its Mud Brick Museum
  • Katamites, i.e. boys who are good with balls. The superfluous syllable results from the town founder’s speech impediment.
  • Katamites. That’s why all the local sheilas are so lonely.
  • Oh, Dr. Bob. As one of Michael Jackson’s private compounds.
  • The outstanding quality of its catamites. No, hang on, that’s Coober Pedy, isn’t it?

Question 5

In Blinman, South Australia what location “has much to commend it – good scenery, good company, hundreds of tales to tell”?


The cemetery

Additional Answers

  • Again, it’s the combined golf course and cemetery, and the rival (to Katamatites’ dog race) Running of the Sheep. So many tales of daring do. Oh, and there are no free rounds. They’re still angry that Katamatite got the Tiger Woods concession. Blinman is rumoured to be plotting a 1956 style EuroVision “tie breaker” against Katamatite.
  • Blinman’s pub is terrific and has “good company” but lousy scenery and only a few tales to tell. The nearby gorges have “good scenery” but lousy company and only a few dozen tales to tell. But the local Adnyamathanha tribe has “good company and hundreds of tales to tell”, so one assumes that the answer you seek, Dr Bob, is the gorges provided the local tribe is in situ.
  • Does it involve a hawk, a wind, and a cemetery?
  • I believe it’s Blinman Hotel Camp Oven Cook Off (Every Dish Tells A Story)…
  • I have no idea, but if the answer is ‘The Public Conveniences In The Middle Of Town’ I shall make certain never to visit there.
  • The sign as you leave town. Also the cemetery.
  • Wild guessing: the cricket pitch, the non-existing petrol station, the Blinman Hotel beds… ?

Question 6


(a) Was Ludwig van Beethoven somebody’s uncle? (b) What film is this?


(a) Yes (b) Volga, Volga (1938)

Additional Answers

    • Beethoven was uncle (and off and on guardian) of Karl. Karl attempted suicide in 1826. Suicide attempts are often regarded as cries for help. This cry, however, most likely fell on deaf ears.
    • Chooses Eisenstein movie at random; Benzin Meadow, such lovely scenery and wonderful use of quilting. It did however totally fail to capture the 3D cinema market And yes Luds had a nephew…but you knew that, didn’t you?
    • Uncle Ludwig had one nephew, Karl. Karl eschewed music for the new fashion of the time of Russian literature, changed his name to Anton Chekhov and wrote Uncle Vanya. Which, if you know the right code, is littered with references to his more famous uncle. This movie is the only version, made in 1954, to decode these references, and that text is a deliberate mistranslation by Western Imperialist Capitalist Running Dogs attempting to conceal the fact that Soviet authors wrote all of Ludwig’s music. Comrade.
    • Well, he certainly wasn’t somebody’s aunt so the answer is clearly “yes”.
    • While technically an uncle, he acted more like a Tiger Mother, forcing the kid into musical training for which he had no talent or inclination. Dear old Uncle Wiggy was in fact the inspiration for Noel Coward’s song, “Don’t Put Your Nephew On The Stage, Herr von Beethoven,” but he was forced to change it due to lingering resentment about anything German in the 1940s.
    • Yes, poor Karl vB, victim of a custody battle between his widowed mother and Uncle Ludwig. Karl invented the combover after he failed to commit suicide with not one, but TWO loaded pistols to his head.
    • Yes; Ludwig had two sisters, but they did not have any children, one of his four brothers had a child. The child was a boy, named Carl.
  • It’s one of the many Soviet ripoffs of the Pinewood Studios “Carry On” series of movies. This film is “Carry On Revolting”, in which an heroic female factory worker is determined to increase her output despite her odious male boss spending all his time leering at her ample chest (see pic) in the best Kenneth Williams tradition.
  • The movie: “Volga Volga” (1938). It’s Lyubov Orlova answer to: “We take to Moscow Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert, Wagner. And you?” […] “How can you compare Beethoven with some uncle?” (39 minutes into the film @ )
  • This is the Russian version of ‘Battlefield Earth’ remade on the grounds that it couldn’t possibly by any worse than John Travolta’s version.
  • ‘Volga Volga!’, starring Stalin’s Marilyn Monroe, Lyubov Orlova.


  • Yes, all we need along the world’s longest undefended border here in Canada are ninja traffic cones. hiiYAA!
  • Ah, Volga Volga has it all – Amateur folksingers vs. professional musicians in a musical contest, Lyubov doesn’t know who Beethoven is, boat-race to the competition, amateurs write their own music but it’s blown away on the river, all is lost, but WAIT, someone finds the music, so the proletariat band wins, Lyubov loves boy, the harvest comes in, the happy ending, and Stalin feels so good he murders the Sochi State Orchestra for being elitist.
  • At least you are posing a whole lot more questions about golf. If one is “a whole lot” … Reminds me of the time we played with old Bill. Poor bugger had a heart attack on the 7th green and died. Dreadful day. For 11 holes it was “play a shot, drag Bill, play a shot, drag Bill.”
  • e^(i * pi) = -1, and I think it summarizes it for all of us here…
  • Funny how the most boring music contest is so deeply intertwined with the most boring sport on the face of the planet, and how the second most boring game (golf) keeps showing up in this quiz.
  • If it is possible to die from over-consumption of cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, you may receive this after I’m dead. Know at least that I died happy. And sticky.
  • Thanks, Dr Bob, I do enjoy messing with your head as much as you mess with ours [dusts hands in a fait accomplit gesture], but pleeease don’t give up: your quiz gives one’s right brain an excellent workout and massage.
  • The poor ain’t so bad
  • This month I dutifully have to end with maritime greetings from the world’s biggest sailing event. Moind and Ahoi from Kiel week.

Have a go!

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