Answers for February 2003

Hmmm, a heterogeneous performance this month
Q1 100% disaster – everyone got this right
Q2 95% right
Q3 90% right, plus I left myself vulnerable to Freudian analysis concerning fart jokes
Q4 50% right answers, but that’s because I got the bloody question wrong
Q5 50% again … this is dismal…. but ….
Q6 0%!! Oh yes!!! And next month’s will be even more sadistic.
Shovelling through the many correct entries for a WINNER I feel motivated to award this most dubious honour to

Per Lundberg

of Skövde, Sweden – just outside the part of Sweden that once fell under the rule of a series of exasperating Danish kings. So Per need not worry about whether it was 1104 or whenever. But actually the king of Sweden 1125-1130 was a Prince of Denmark anyway (who was deposed and then in 1134 was neatly bumped off in the same battle of Fotevik won by Erik the Guess What). Remember, everyone: if you ever get this job, try and dispose immediately of all possible ex-monarchs, pseudo-monarchs, proto-monarchs, and everyone else.


Question 1

During the French Revolution, Tom Paine was arrested and sentenced to death. What with the guillotine being booked so far in advance, an “X” was chalked on the cell door of prisoners due for the chop. One can imagine Mr Paine’s disappointment when, one day, his cell door was so marked. However, as history shows, he was able to wag this event – how did this happen?

Answer

Oh shit! (literally). Everyone got this. What baffles Dr Bob is why, when the door was originally left open, Paine did not avail himself of this new opportunity to exit the cell using the time-honoured “walk out the door” method. Well, he was an American….

Other Answers

  • “As history shows…” you say, uh? Well, I almost never heard Tom Paine’s name, but I found out the book on the net! So, I can answer: for a momentary lapse of reason (this is a hint to understand how I try to learn English…), the men in charge to chalk the doors wrote the “4” (not the “X”: my book says they signed on the door the number of the prisoners in the cell to be executed, not just a “X”, and in Tom Paine’s cell they were four) while the cell door was totally open: that means that, when the door has been closed, the four prisoners found the terrible white chalk “4” on the internal side of the door. Without any respect for the law, the wiped it off. Vandals.
  • 3 reasons, apparently. 1. Rather like Shostakovich 2 months ago, the sudden and terminal demise of his principal accuser, Robespierre, caused his execution to be cancelled. 2. He was too sick to be executed. The executioner was obviously afraid of catching his cold. A likely story! 3. The “X” of death was marked in the centre of the open door which was then closed so that it was now on the inside and the executioner never saw it when he walked past trolling for victims.
  • A drunken guard spilt bouillabaisse over the door and covered the mark.
  • As with so many people in desperate situations like this, he agreed to have sex with a number of important people in return for his freedom.
  • Because he was so ill, the door was left open, hence the chalk mark couldn’t be seen. And he was being rogered by the Executioner. (I think death would be preferable)
  • Because, being the best of times and the worst of times, Tom was able to con one S.Carton, a gullible chap, to cop the froggy knife on his behalf. That freed Tom for further scribblings on deism and the rights of man, thus endearing him even more to his mates the Americans – who are notorious suckers for anything that promotes the notion of individual freedom while simultaneously and contradictorily claiming that God really runs everything.
  • By urinating and removing the chalk mark – after all it was only chalk
  • Dear Monsieur Executioner: My son Tom has a head cold. Please excuse him from any activity, sport, guillotine etc etc, that may make his cold worse. Yours Mrs Paine (mother) PS I’ve left his cell door open so he gets plenty of fresh air.
  • Diplomatic pressure from the United States’ minister James Monroe.
  • Even starting second with the O’s, he was able to beat the prison guard at tick-tack-toe.
  • Executioners strike due to poor working conditions
  • Good, old-fashioned lobbying. Pressure from the US embassy.
  • Having diarrhoea _can_ have its good sides now and then…
  • He convinced his jailers that he was Irish, and that the “X” was another way of representing the sound of “H”. Since the jailers didn’t know Irish, they couldn’t disprove this story. Bureaucracy being what it is, without regard to who’s in charge, you couldn’t execute anyone who didn’t have an “X”.
  • He escaped out his window, and to this day we still refer to the glass barriers in windows as window “Paines”.
  • He had a little help from one James Monroe an american of some standing. Next time Tommy boy when you are gonna be radical go all the way, don’t piss around with being a little radical (unless the little radical was named Napoleon)
  • He promised the gaoler a mention in his new book.
  • He sent out for a curry, with predictable results. Even those malodorous French guards took pity and allowed the door to remain open and voila – the X could not be seen.
  • He stood behind or “spidered” above in the Jackie Chan position, the afore mentioned door
  • He was cloned by the Raelian Sect and it was Tom Paine Version 2 that got the chop…..
  • He was saved by the Scarlet Pimpernel.
  • His jailer, like my children, saw no point in closing doors, so the X was concealed. Apparently, the reason is that the cell had an aroma not unlike my children’s one.
  • http://www.utm.edu/research/iep/p/paine.htm. By being a sneaky little bastard. The cell door was open at the time so it got marked on the inside instead. But the gaolers didn’t notice because it was so dark and dingy in there. So when the door was closed the mark simply “disappeared”. Sounds like Melbourne in winter, doesn’t it…
  • I guess he probably stuck his arm out and erased it. Don’t s’pose the Scarlet Pimpernel would have bothered, what with his politics an’ all.
  • I went out drinking with Thomas Paine, He said “All chalk crosses are not the same. They’re as different as the door panels on which they glide, and if they’re on the inner bit you can’t see them from the outside” So much for Billy Bragg…
  • Jesus himself, though it wasn’t convincing enough for this pragmatic fellow.
  • Not only was he disappointed, he was crapping himself! Apparently, “Paine’s cell smelled so bad that the door was left open and the X was turned to the wall and Paine was spared until Jefferson and other friends could help him escape to America.” http://www.backwoodshome.com/articles/williams19.html
  • Paine was ill, and his cellmates gained permission from the turnkey to leave his cell door open to admit some fresh air. Because the door to Paine’s cell was open, the “X” was chalked on the inside of the door rather than the outside. When the cell door was subsequently closed, no mark showed, and his cell was passed over. This “Passover” is commemorated each year by a small but devoted group of Paine’s dead cellmates.
  • Paine was released after the American minister, James Monroe, put pressure on the French government.
  • Robespierre came rushing in, saying, “Mon Dieu, zees is le camarade who wrote “The Rights de Homme”, whe must releassse ‘im!”, tossed him a baguette and a bottle of pinot, and packed him on his way. Actually, what happened was that Tom was seeing a doctor at the time, so his cell door was open and the nong of a guard chalked the cross on the inside. When the door was closed, the mark magically disappeared.
  • Showing remarkable spatial ineptitude, the guard responsible for marking the “X”s mistook the inside of the open cell door for the outside of the door when closed. Which just goes to show that the ol’ escapee trick of pretending to be unwell is always worth a try.
  • Some guard apparently thought that sliding doors existed at that time, and marked the “X” on the side of the door facing outwards, even though the door was open. Paine, under pain of death, quickly applied elbow grease (and dirt and mud and whatever else he could get his hands on) and pardoned himself.
  • Surrounded the X with a grid and beat his gaolers at noughts and crosses – or whatever Francais is for that
  • The “X” was mistakenly chalked on the inside of his cell door since it opened outwards. So the guards walking around looking for X’s the next day missed him since his door was closed. You must be getting more than the usual digs at the French on this one.
  • The chalk mark was applied to only one side of his door, and when the “head delivery man” came about, the door was either open or closed, concealing the chalk mark. (But what became of the chalk mark? Was it eventually deliberately erased, or gradually wore off, or did the reign of terror end first rendering all the chalk marks irrelevant, or what?)
  • The door of his cell was open, so the cross wasn’t visible. Or he had a note from Mum. Maybe he forged a note from Mum. That always worked for me.
  • The Illuminati let him off?
  • The One Incompetent Guard decided to make the chalk mark on the inside of his cell door, and his One Incompetent Supervisor didn’t bother to look on the inside. And all this time I thought it was the old “feign sick, get the guard’s attention, steal his keys, knock him out, and slip out wearing his uniform” trick.
  • They didn’t think his neck would fit
  • Tom got lucky. The chalk mark was normally made on the outside of the doors of those to be given the chop, but because he was ill, Paine’s door was left open during the day and the chalk mark was made on the inside. Fortunately, Tom liked to sleep with his door shut, so the guards didn’t see the X in the morning when they were doing their rounds. Either that, or they’d had too much XXXX and couldn’t give a XXXX.
  • Typical of those who support capital punishment, the dimwit marking the doors had left the family brain cell at home and didn’t realise that Tom’s cell door, which opened into the corridor, was open. The “X” was inscribed (our man was probably told to sign each door) and then the door was shut – with the “x” on the inside. When the execution squad arrived the next morning, they saw no “x” so they left Tom alone.
  • Why, the scarlet pumpernickel saved him of course!
  • Zis monsieur Paine had been eeting les escargots or somezing det made him sieck, and becoz of hiz upset bowels he had a bad case of ze runs, so hiz cell was quite zmelly, so ze guarde let ze door open to let some vresh air in. Ze next morning wen ze executioner came he did not noteez ze cross becoz ze side of ze door ze cross was on was fazing ze wall. Why did msr. P. not run wiz ze door open? We will nevaire know….

Question 2

Apart from Iraq and Somalia, what other country has recently argued in favour of the death penalty for children?

Answer

The United States of America

Other Answers

  • All of them – simply because having a six-year old proves that they should come with warning labels. Give a six year old a hose, and they could invade a small country. Sorry the UN is on the phone ………
  • All of them, especially if it is the Von Trapp children – raindrops on roses indeed!!!
  • America, America / We love our children good / But if they’re not, We’ll shoot the lot / And use them up for food.
  • America, but only if the children live in another country such as, oh I dunno.. maybe Iraq.
  • France. They apparently have it in for the young American Bush, George W.
  • Gawd dang. Eetz th’ good ol U S of A son. An’ if’n you’s black an’ a child, eet’s au-to-matic guilt an’ man-dat-ory deeth.
  • Hmm. At least Iraq and the US have something in common…
  • Hmmmm. Probably an obvious one like some tin-pot African dictatorship, or a surprising one like Sweden. I’ll go with Saudi Arabia just because their regime are complete bastards.
  • http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/7595/crimebychildren.html. Texas, USA (they like to think they are a separate country in Texas). While we could easily exclaim “Only in America!” once again, I’m sure that the vast majorities of Americans are equally appalled and will have nothing to do with this fundamentalist ranting.
  • I don’t know but their children must be really naughty.
  • I was going to be facetious by saying most countries at some time or other, but this is rather too serious for that. In addition, Iran, Yemen, Bangladesh, Nigeria, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, though they recently abolished it and the “People’s Republic” of Congo who recently declared a moratorium on child executions. Most significantly, showing their usual moral superiority, the USA. Although most of those executed are well into their thirties by the time the sentence is carried out, the relevant crimes took place while those executed were under 18 in direct contravention of International moral, ethical and legal convention. Source: Amnesty International website.
  • If by children you mean persons who are not old enough to drink or vote, then the USA, or more accurately, the former Confederate States of America, places like Virginia and Florida. Here in Texas, we regularly have prosecutors stumping to try minors as adults, thus exposing them to the death penalty. No one here seems to think that this might be considered a human rights violation elsewhere.
  • It would have to be the YouSay. Or Mordor.
  • Japan? Timor? The Republic of Antarctica?
  • Lilliput and now they are in strife – the adults are mistakenly identified as children
  • New Zealand: stuck up, holier-than-thou, self-righteous bastards. They’re proposing the death penalty for anyone (including children) who sits on tables, speaks too loudly, smiles too much, is too Australian, or breaks any of the new PC tenets.
  • Ok, I wanna try without any research, for this. I bet on United States of America. I guess americans really could do that. Especially after the story of the sniper, that came out to be under law age (does “law age” mean anything, actually? Well I hope you understand what I mean…)
  • Once again that paragon of democracy and freedom the USA. USA, USA, USA, when will the americans realise that a campaign of retrospective abortion is not going to reduce the crime although if used against politicians might improve the world.
  • Our freedom-loving North American allies. Sigh.
  • Probably England but I have heard mention of it in this household from time to time when the teenage daughter has used the razor normally reserved for the chiselled features of my beloved.
  • Russia. The Russians also believe that they should be able to detain all children under 16 for up to 72 hours without official arrest or legal representation and that the should be able to interrogate them using any and all violent methods they deem necessary, including Russian Roulette.
  • Texas, Florida, and Virginia. For the most part, the rest of the states either do not have a death penalty, or they do not permit this to apply to children.
  • Texas. But only AFTER they are born.
  • That fourth country in the ‘Axis of Evil’ (didn’t you know) America
  • The good ol’ US of A? Following the recent arrest of the snipers, the prosecutors arranged for the case to be tried in a state where the death penalty can be given to under-18s.
  • The good ol’ US of bloody A, of course, and not before time! Just a damn shame they couldn’t have nipped ol’ W in the bud before he got ideas.
  • The Great Empire of Donuts! (The USA to those of you educated there)
  • The Great State of Texas, taking the sound advice of Bob Marley: kill it before it grows.
  • The Lone Star Republic of Texas, of course.
  • The United States of America, especially Texas and Florida.
  • The United States of America, which I’m sure comes as no surprise to anyone. One wonders why they bother – surely the current U.S. gun laws allow a far more efficient form of juvenile execution than any goverment body could ever provide.
  • The United States of America. Provided the kids being killed are in Iraq or Somalia.
  • The United States of America. Once we’ve established this as a proper means of punishing children, we’re going for stoning, tongue splaying, and hot poker-up-the-wazoo as effective, persuasive methods for controlling puerile crime.
  • The United States of America. Is anyone surprised?
  • The USA, as long as they’re Iraqi children.
  • The USA, Monty Python couldn’t write anything like this!
  • The USA. 22 of the 38 death penalty States allow the execution of people under 18 at the time of the offence. At least one State allows for the execution of 13 year-olds and this happened in the 1930s. Texas recently looked at legislation to allow the legal killing of children as young as 11.
  • USA of course, anyone would have guessed that. Ironically, in the same meeting good ole US also voted to “save unborn lives”.
  • Well, it can’t be Nigeria. They were waiting for a woman to give birth so they could stone her to death and orphan the child, but not kill it. The USA keeps trying teens as adults on murder cases where the death penalty is an option. Washington sniper is an example.
  • Zimbabwe – Mr Mugabe doesn’t believe they are hungry – and the USA for withholding monetary support for HIV prevention in African countries.
  • “Two thirds of the known executions of child offenders in the past decade were carried out in the USA” Amnesty International, 25/9/02 http://www.amnestyusa.org/news/2002/usa09252002.html
  • Those who are surprised by the USA’s presence in this list have obviously never visited an American junior high school.

Question 3

BBC TV’s puppets “Bill and Ben” spoke in a mysterious language called “flobbadob”, named after the typical sound of one of the words. Where did this word originally come from?

Answer

Hilda Brabban’s younger brothers were given to farting in the bath.

Nicer Answers

  • “Flobbadob,” –which roughly translates to: “One way or another, I’m gonna getcha! Gonna getcha, getcha, gethcha!” –comes from Bodabbolf, a near-dead language that is spoken by a small but influential tribe of fearsome, blood-mongering warriors in and around Crawford, Texas.
  • A rip-off of Disney’s “Flubber”, after partaking of too much weed, they came up with flobbadob
  • Another of your deliberate typos, Dr Bob?? The language, correctly spelt “floggabob”, is spoken only by respondents to your monthly quiz as well, of course, as our mascots Bill and Ben. Floggabob originated because its proponents wanted to better express their singleminded desire to beat the living shit out of you for your uncanny ability to make them feel so desperately inadequate each and every month. English and all other extant languages are clearly inadequate. So is Latin. Hence “floggabob”. Hear it and weep, you bastard. [Why, thank you]
  • Australia, after the pubs have closed and a good Aussie bloke’s mind (or what passes for it) turns to rumpeh pumpeh but ….whoops, flobbadob.
  • Aw, come on Dr. Bob. Everyone knows this [Except you]
  • Bill and Ben are sitting in the garden one day. Bill says, “Flobbidy globglob oob glooble floob.” Ben replies, “Well if you loved me you’d swallow it.”
  • Bill: “Flobbadob. Dob dob flobboba dub” Ben: “Oh come off it. If you really loved me you’d swallow”
  • Bill: “flobbadob, flobbadob flobflob flobble flobbadob” Ben: “Bill, if you really loved me, you’d swallow” [Why is it always Bill and Ben in this order? When does Bill get to have a go? Was it Bill or was it Ben Flobbing it around just then Oh those naughty Flowerpot Men Was it Bill or was it Ben?But just then the man who works in the garden began to walk back along the garden path. Quick, said Ben – someone’s coming. Yes I know, said Bill, its me, why do you think they call this the tool shed, oh flobbaGod….]
  • Dandelion for “weed”
  • During the years I lived in Australia, I learned that three great cultural influences in that country are 1. Gilligan’s Island 2. Hogan’s Heroes, and 3. Abba. [All of which are normally located as far as possible from Australia] I became quite apt in answering trivia questions about them, without having watched or listened to them. But Bill and Ben?
  • Flatulent young boys in the tub of course, a paedophile’s spa bath fantasy. (sorry, that’s horrible!!) [Where’s the soap? Yes it does ….]
  • French…everything comes from French doesn’t it? Probably comes from holding a drowning Frenchman’s head under the bathwater.
  • From a T.V. writer who had ingested way too many drugs.
  • From an Australian slang term for American flaccid penises (since Australians, of course, never suffer from penile flaccidity).
  • From an old comedy sketch of The Glumms. “I slipped over and fell on my flobbadob”. Quaintarse (our national carrier) has been playing that on the comedy channel.
  • From the Dutch language. Just as the Dutch word “Schtoppemfloppem” means brassiere, “flobbadob” is the Dutch phrase for the action of a male at the latrines (in English, “flopitout”.
  • From the sound of farting in a bath, accurately predicting the major plot device of the Carry On movies many years before their production.
  • From the sound of Mrs. Hilda Duggan’s brothers, passing gas in the bath. That probably explains why the thing sold 300,000 copies, eh?
  • George W., face first in a horse trough.
  • Hilda Brabban got that when one of her younger brothers broke wind in the bath. But was it Bill or was it Ben? And by the way, it’s Oddle Poddle and not flobbadob.
  • Hilda Brabban originally wrote the stories for her younger brothers, William and Benjamin, who were always getting into mischief. If one of them had been naughty, their mother would shout: “Was it Bill or was it Ben?” – which became a catch phrase of the series. Bill and Ben’s companion, Little Weed, was Hilda’s youngest sister Phyllis; and the colloquial term for Bill and Ben’s strange language, “Flobadob”, was based on what the boys said when one of them broke wind in the bath.
  • Hilda Brabban wrote the stories for her young brothers, also named Bill & Ben. The word “flobbadob” came from the sound one of the boys made when he farted in the bath. The BBC should really promote the story, children world wide love fart stories.
  • http://www.sterlingtimes.org/flobadob_the_sequel.htm. Oh good work, Dr Bob! A “fart joke” as a question. Are these the depths to which this quiz has now sunk? Deeper than the Titanic, alas, or at least to the bottom of a flatulent child’s bath. Bravo. Oh yes, spelling…single “b” throughout: “flobadob” (OK, I’m a peddant) [Er, that’d be ‘pedant’ with one ‘d’]
  • I have only heard the word flobbadob spoken on the British series “Red Dwarf”. When all rational answers are exhausted then the irrational must be considered. So, obviously, someone saw Red Dwarf and travelled back in time to create Bill and Ben.
  • I hobavoboben’t thebob slobightobest ideboba.
  • Invented by Peter Hawkins, the voice of Bill and Ben. An invention that puts him right up there with Edison and Leonardo da Vinci.
  • Isn’t that why they invented Viagra?
  • It “crossed over”…
  • It is reverse for bodabbolf, a famous 18th century german opera tenor, who just happened to be a green thumb, especially in potted plants.
  • It sounds like the noise my wife makes when she sits in a warm bath. No, I didn’t really say that.
  • It was the noise when one of Hilda Brabban’s brothers broke wind in the bath. Yet another remarkable case of British anal fixation.
  • It’s ancient Greek for “If you really loved me, you’d swallow that” [As we have already been told]
  • It’s the sound of Hilda Brabban’s youngest child breaking wind. Funny, mine always goes “Phhblllt!” (the high-pressure, light ones) or “Phuuuuut…” (slowly, the low-pressure, Hydrogen Sulphide filled ones)
  • Joh Bjelke Peterson
  • Junior sib bathtime flatulence. The other sib “weeeed” in the bath. A famously original and creative team of script writers, F. Latus and Mic Turition.
  • My god, again? I already said that I never… well, ok, ok. I am not sure to have understood the question, anyway. If you’re asking for the original word, it probably could be “flowerpot”: but in this case the question could be hard only for poor Italians like me: I guess every English-speaking person can easily realize that. So, maybe you asked something else… don’t know, maybe the childish pronunciation of the author’s sons, or something similar. [Yes! But pronounced at the other end]
  • One of the producers children was suffering from gas and this is what it sounded like when the child threw up over him.
  • Shakespeare made it up (actually he didn’t intend to, it happened by accident when he had the flu and sneezed).
  • The sphincter… “‘flobadob’ was based on the sound when one of the boys (sons of Hilda Brabban) broke wind in the bath.” http://www.sterlingtimes.org/flobadob_the_sequel.htm
  • The William Tell Overture. “Flobbadob, flobbadob, flobbadob dob dob…”
  • Timothy Leary.
  • What is with the “Bill and Ben’ crap. Another example of lost childhood Dr Bob? Or just a misspent youth! Another farting joke apparently. It is supposed to be the sound made by the creator’s younger brothers passing wind in the bath. A wet fart. Do you really believe it. Everybody knows the British never take baths.

Question 4

Eric the Memorable was a King of Denmark who died in 1104. Why was he described as “the memorable?”

Dr Bob Stuffs It Up Again:

You see what happens if you pinch other people’s questions without checking them properly, especially Canadians …. That was really Erik I Eigod, who died in 1103, although I suppose he was equally dead in 1104. The really intended king was Erik II Emune, reigned 1134-1137. Look, if he’d been more memorable I might have got it right. Which leads me to the real answer, which is: Nobody has the faintest idea. Although I did manage to dig up the following non-memorable events for Erik II (Emune, i.e. “the memorable”):

  • Born c. 1090, the illegitimate son of Erik I and a commoner
  • Murdered by the magnate Blackplough 18 September 1137
  • Reigned 1134-37
  • c. 1130, he married Malmfred, the daughter of Duke Mstislav (Harold) of Russia and Duchess Christina, whose sister was married to Canute Lavard
  • One illegitimate child, the later king Sweyn III Grathe

And Dr Bob Gets Outclassed (not difficult)

  • You’ve got the year wrong, Bob, and apparently you’ve mixed up Erik I (1095-1103, with the cognomen “Ejegod” = The Kind) and Erik II (1134-1137, with the cognomen “Emune” = The Memorable). As to what it was about him that was so memorable, the answer is: nobody knows. All that is remembered is that somebody thought he was memorable enough to stick that cognomen on him. Bonus info: In 1135, Erik II wrote a letter granting certain holdings to the Archbishopric at Lund (then in Denmark, now in Sweden). This is the oldest existing original manuscript in Denmark. Yes, I’m Danish. Yes, I’m an historian.
  • **Dr Bob Trick Question Alert** the king Erik who died in 1104 was Erik I, whereas Eric the Memorable (Erik II) died in 1137. Unfortunately, today nobody can remember why he was called memorable. (My best efforts with the ouija board failed to turn up much, except someone claiming to be a maid named Erika, and she reckoned that he had a really hilariously amusing birthmark, but the connection dropped out before she could describe it. I should probably upgrade to broadband.)
  • “No one knows why” seems to be the standard answer on the web. I managed to track down his sister Agatha the One With The Really Good Memory and she couldn’t remember either.
  • Although all the references I can find say that no-one can remember they have to be wrong. We remember him, after all we are still talking about him 900 years after is death. Who was King of England in 1104? Who succeeded Eric the Memorable to the Danish throne? You can’t remember those, but Eric springs instantly to mind when you talk of “the Memorable”. Eric is not only memorable, he is almost immortal.
  • Apparently it’s a little known secret that he was cloned by our beloved Raelian sect and is actually selling his body to the highest bidder.
  • Because despite dying in 1104, he managed to be King of Denmark from 1134 to 1137. He also managed to off most of his rivals, including his brother and 11 of his brother’s children. Those still left around to remember any of it no doubt found it most memorable.
  • Because he was a complete cunt
  • Because he was memorable.
  • Because historians say so, and what historians say, goes!
  • Because of his fantastic memory! He knew the dates of every important event in Denmark’s history and the phone number of every Dane in the world. Alas, he didn’t notice that the trap door to the alligator pit was open one day and that was the end of that!
  • Can’t remember. He did make Scandinavia an archbishopric, though.
  • Cruel sarcasm from the Danes
  • Danish irony apparently. He can’t have been so bloody memorable, because no-one remembers.
  • For the cologne he wore, eau de blind gay Icelandic guitarist (or was it harp player?)
  • Funnily enough I can’t remember. (Possibly the LEAST original answer to this question)
  • Gee. I forgot. What a trick question, Dr. Bob!
  • He did not have Alzheimer’s.
  • He passed a law making the establishment of McDonalds, Wendy’s, Pizza Hut and Burger King illegal in the country. The man had foresight and wisdom (refer answer to Question 2)
  • He was able to remember details of obsolete TV shows such as Bill and Ben.
  • He was described as “memorable” so you wouldn’t forget him. This strategy clearly worked. How many other twelfth century Erics do you know? [Oh, lots. There’s Eric Penisfeatures, Eric Sheepshagger, Eric the Half a Bee, Eric the Obscure, Sir Eric Notappearinginthisquiz, and Eric and Clive]
  • He was soooooooooooooo memorable that no-one even remembered WHY he was memorable just that he WAS memorable
  • He was the only member of his family not to suffer amnesia, although shortly after this descriptive title became popularised, he developed Alzheimers disease. No-one really remembers what happened after that.
  • He wasn’t
  • I don’t know, and you don’t either! [Correct]
  • I forget.
  • I know this! I know this! Just give me a minute…its..its…nope I cant remember.
  • I guess you’ll get a lot of answers about ‘no one remembers anymore’ but actually there were no danish King named Eric that died in 1104. Eric I (Ejegod) died in 1103 on his way to Jerusalem. His son Eric II (Emune) died in 1137. He was later called ‘the memorable’. Maybe he was called that because of the fact that he was born 1 year after his father _and_ mother had died (according to http://users.legacyfamilytree.com/NorthernEurope/f295.htm) But the truth is probably that noone really knows why any more…
  • I was going to say Eric the Memorable was memorable for not being memorable just as a joke. Except it is not a joke. Nobody does remember why Eric was memorable. It is still funny. One of the funniest things I have ever heard in my life.
  • I wonder if it was something to do with the then nascent but burgeoning porn industry in Denmark… Perhaps that’s how he died, going instead of coming.
  • In the immortal words of Carmen Lawrence “I cannot recall”.
  • Lets see Eric the Good died in 1103, so I would say it was because Eric the Memorable’s reign was so short.
  • Maybe it was because he was, unlike his father Eric the Evergood, quite a bad man and kicked the hell out of his nephew, since then known as Eric the Lame. Or maybe it was because he died again in 1137.
  • No one remembers. Oh, wait, wait. Was it because he had a very large and memorable…no, no, I’m sorry, no. That was Magnus the Priapic I [or possibly Eric Penisfeatures]
  • Nobody knows it. Well-well-well… we need a more complete answer, to say the truth. During the XII century, probably a lot of persons (at least in Denmark) knew why Eric was so memorable, but right now nobody knows why. So, today Eric the Memorable is memorable because he is no more memorable. Better, he’s memorable just for his nickname, that is obviously a contradiction; but, being a strange contradiction, it becomes again “memorable”, so the contradiction disappears; and that also means that the question is no more remarkable (or memorable?). It sounds quite similar to some ancient greek logic paradoxes, isn’t it?
  • Unfortunately, reviewing old tapes of “Gillette presents Eric the Memorable’s Memorable Moments” failed to shed any light on his memorable deeds. Probably because nobody knows what they were.
  • Who. Naaah I think I met him once, can’t really remember him much. No one I know can remember him. He did tell me once that he was a member of the Mornington Country Race Course. I said, but you live in the city. He said to me, “I’m a country member”. “Ok” I said “I’ll remember”
  • Yair well, youse’d think he’d of preferred “Notable”, “Remarkable”, “Outstanding” or even “Special” to being merely “Memorable”. What a crappy title for a king, even a king of bloody unremarkable and unspecial Denmark. Meself, I only like their big dogs and their backpacking blondes. Yep – great danes and great dames. Memorable, eh? Bewdy.
  • You got this one coming, nasty nasty man. Bwahahaha! Erik II Emune actually died in 1137, and was memorable because he won the battle of Fotevik against his uncle Niels. [Cripes I did not know this! And neither did anyone else, by the look of it – including his uncle Niels, at least not before the battle]

Question 5

In the 1890’s Monsieur D- who explored the ruins of Susa was elected to the French Academie des Inscriptions. Mme D- who helped in the work not only received the Legion of Honour, but what other privilege?

Answer

Mme Dieulafoy – The right to wear men’s clothes in public

Also:

  • I’d tell you, but it would be a drag.
  • A warm inner glow.
  • Aaaaaaye… can someone translate this question to English please?
  • Allowed to wear socks to bed and wasn’t forced to eat brussel sprouts.
  • America gave her the privilege of singing “The Stars and Stripes Forever” at full volume at any hour of the day or night she chose, without fear of retribution from sleepless neighbours or pesky foreigners. The “John Philip” award, as it is known, was bestowed upon Mme D for her Susa work by a grateful US president whose only fault was an inability to spell.
  • An entire last name.
  • An offer to spend the night with Alfred Dreyfus and a pocket version of Hammurabi’s code of laws. She politely declined.
  • Cleaning up the site and washing the shards
  • He became the first person to shoot a French military rifle and kill somebody
  • He was up graded to Monsieur C-
  • I’m trying for something witty but I can’t so what about the Legion of …nope not working. Next question.
  • Is wearing trousers really a privilege?
  • Jane Dieulafoy received the Legion d’Honneur, but you already knew that. How about election to the Academie Francaise? The Shah’s harem? Curses, I will have to keep trying and re answer all the questions [No if you re-submit, just put an X to skip over the earlier answers].
  • Madame Dieulafoy earned the right to wear men’s clothes in public, and to get her name abbreviated in Australian quizzes.
  • Madame Dieulafoy was allowed to wear men’s clothing in public. Cross dressing was usually frowned on in France and persistent offenders ended up with an “X” marked on their doors.
  • Mme Dieulafoy won the right to wear men’s clothes in public – and you thought leaving out the last name would mean we couldn’t find it on Google.
  • More letters in her last name.
  • Perhaps to show her learning in any place outside the bedroom, finally.
  • Recognition of the fact that she wore the trousers in that marriage.
  • She became the first French woman legally protected from the catcalls and slimy chat-up attempts of the average Frenchman.
  • She got to have a full last name.
  • She got to explore the ruins of the Maginot Line.
  • She had a lesion named after her.
  • She was allowed to be his wife. What greater privilege, nay honour, can a woman ask for?
  • She was allowed to stand in the foyer of the Academie even though she was a woman who would not normally have got inside the front door.
  • She was also voted “Madame of the Year” by the French S&M Research Institute for her pioneering work on whiplash. No, hang on, that was someone else. Mme Dieulafoy received the Cross of the Order of the Legion of Honour for being real good at getting down and dirty. The French, being as sexist as we are, don’t give many high awards to women, so she must have made a real contribution in her field. Mme D’s work with the guillotine was also “a cut above the rest”.
  • She was given the honour of being immortalised in High Tea with Madame D, that piece of Victorian literature so popular with capping magazine editors.
  • She was granted the privilege of wearing mens clothes in public. I wonder if this extended to being able to scratch her nether regions in public too.
  • She was inducted into the Ordre Antique des Humpers Français de Fantôme.
  • That of writing endless inscriptions (graffiti) on French bathroom walls about her frustration with Monsieur D, without legal punishment.
  • That would be Mr Marcel & Mrs Jane Dieulafoy. Jane also got to wear men’s clothes in public, something the usually nude Marcel had been doing for a number of weeks.
  • The girl was a bit of a pants man, well actually more like anything in pants, or a skirt. It gets very lonely in the desert. Alright she was given the right to wear the pants in the family
  • The right to cross-dress in public. If only J. Edgar Hoover had been there….
  • The right to wear mens clothes in public! (Even the Y fronts?)
  • The ruins of John Philip Susa, composer of annoying American military music? Something tells me it isn’t THAT Susa. I forgot the question.
  • To cross-dress, of course. It was THE fashionable thing to do for French women in the 1890’s.
  • To wear men’s clothing in public. Oooooh, scandalous, Neddy!!!
  • Uh. I am almost sure you’re talking about Jane Dieulafoy, but my web-engine (not to mention my brain) is too weak to find out the “privilege”.
  • Was asked to be a signature witness on the first patent application for the invention of the Susaphone.
  • Was made a godparent of Pablo Picasso?
  • When you disturb biblical sites you can expect the privilege of being beset by plagues and incurable sores.
  • She was allowed to wear men’s clothes in public. Presumably, in the spirit of ‘egalite’, Monsieur D was also allowed to wear women’s clothes in public (after all, the French invented Mardi Gras).

Question 6

Whose house was this?

Answer

In this house lived the young Richard P.Feynman. His father illustrated the size of dinosaurs by pointing to the upper floor windows.

Other Answers

  • … Dr. Bob, are you trying to sell YOUR OWN house, maybe?
  • 007 Bond Street. It’s where James Bond lives.
  • A better question would be “Whose house will this become?”. Just think, for a moment, of the opportunity for witty answers a question like this offers. Endless…. Eric the Neighbour (he was always a quiet chap, kept to himself…would never of guessed he was a King of Denmark…who was that again?)
  • Albert Einstein’s, before it decayed.
  • Bill and Ben’s! Bill’s on the left, and Ben’s on the other left.
  • DAMN THIS FREAKING QUESTION – I STILL HAVEN”T FOUND THE ANSWER – SCREW YOU DR. BOB (comment: Please ignore the answer to the last question as I am just about to finish work for the day, and, well, you know how it is!)
  • Defeo, in Amityville.
  • Dr. Evil’s, after he managed to kill Austin Powers and dominate the world.
  • Ed..Ri..Ch..Bo..Sa.. This would be much easier if I could see your reaction! [Try Ri..Ch..Ed.. ]
  • Einstein’s. I don’t know why I said that it just reminded me of the house Uncle Albert used to take me to. We would play for hours with the small nuclear pile in the garage. Well he told me it was a nuclear pile.
  • Either an American ex president or Billy Joe Rutabaga, a redneck from Podunk, Indiana.
  • Either Bill or Ben. The other one lived next door at number 96.
  • Eric the Memorable, but now it belongs to Tom Paine.
  • Frank Lloyd Wrong
  • Freddy Krueger’s. Great basement, tools are included!
  • Hmm, Dr Bob says ‘whose house WAS this’ so the former occupant is either dead or has sold up and moved out, so that makes it hard. It looks like a Yank house so it can’t be John Howard’s lodge in Canberra or Cherie Blair’s foster home in London. Yep, must be George Dubya’s birthplace, ‘cos it’s a white house with trees that’ve clearly copped a bit too much of the good ole Agent Orange.
  • Hmmm… It’s fall or winter but no snow, plus there are 2 visible window AC units, suggesting a southern US city. Too green for Midland, TX (George W.), but possibly Hope, Ark. So — Bill Clinton?
  • How are we supposed to know that? Who? Thomas Edison’s? It looks like some bugger’s off-the-plan colonial inspired mansionesque monstrosity beachhouse just out of Bateman’s Bay. I mean, heck, who doesn’t have 500 grand to toss at a beach house??
  • I have no idea. It cannot be Australian as the house lacks a protective fence.
  • I’m pretty sure that Bill and Ben lived in the shed at the end of the driveway. Dunno who lived in the house. Andy Pandy and Looby Loo, maybe?
  • It certainly isn’t MINE!!! I’m too poor to ever even hope to own a house. And my retirement money is down the old drain, too.
  • It was mine until someone took this photo of it…..
  • It WAS mine…until that s******* b****of an ex-wife took the thing from me.
  • It’s number 668 – The Neighbour Of The Beast.
  • Looks a bit like Schmidt’s house in About Schmidt
  • Looks rather like the boyhood home of rap star Nelly, which is now for sale on E-Bay. I always knew Dr. Bob was down with the crew in the hood.
  • Mine – I should never have sold it
  • Mine until recently when I realised it was riddled with termites. Mind you, don’t tell the tenants, they’re paying a fortune to live there.
  • Mine, please
  • Mine. OK, well I’d like it to be mine. It looks pretty good.
  • My house. Have you been stalking me Dr Bob?
  • No one’s–it’s a facade wired to the tree closest to the front, for the purpose of misleading us in this quiz.
  • No. Even with the clues I can’t find it. Not Einstein’s Princeton pad, but it does kind of look Princeton. Can’t find a picture of Von Neumann’s house, but surely you wouldn’t be taking a picture of that, now.
  • Not mine
  • Not mine, and I don’t want it. It would be far too drafty and cold for me and would cost a fortune to heat. Whose house “was” this? You mean no-one owns it now? It looks reasonably well kept – someone has swept all the leaves off the driveway.
  • NOT: Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Alva Edison, George C Patton, George Washington, Theodore Roosevelt, Harry S Truman, the Lindberg house, Albert Einstein in Princeton, John Nash, Amelia Earhart, or the dozen or so others I checked… It’s probably some American academic from the early 20th century (although the house is early 19th century.)
  • Obviously impossible question. That means that the question pic has to be related in some way with the other questions. So… it can hardly be Eric the Memorable’s house, mabye Tom Paine’s? Nah… so, what else? Jane Dieulafoy’s Museum? No… It has to be Bill’s and Ben’s House. Yes, yes, it has to be that.
  • Oh Who knows but it was in a movie with a sick kid in it, all morbid and stuff. [Well it was not a movie, it was real life and someone did die of TB, but there were more exciting episodes than that, culminating in 1986. Oh the drama!! the pathos!! the science!!]
  • Once upon a time, there was a little house and all round the house was a beautiful garden and down at the bottom of the garden was a place where the man who worked in the garden left his things while he went in the house to have his dinner…
  • Snow White’s – the dwarves lived in the garage.
  • Someone who lived in a white stucco, arts-and-crafts house with two gable. Howzefugshudeyenow?
  • Ted Bundy’s.
  • The Addams family. Pictures are hard to find on the web. George W. Bush. Jeffrey Dahmer. Monsieur D. Augustine, the Bishop of Hippo.
  • The childhood home of Bill & Ben. You can see them lounging there on the stoop [and at might the shadows on the curtains show them stooping in the lounge]
  • The inventor of the “Dormer” window. My god, look at the design of that monstrosity. Looks like autumn or winter, possibly North American. Oh, I really don’t know, just trying to stretch it out to see if comes to me — nope don’t know … damn!
  • The man that created Hewlett Packard, or something similar. [There is nothing similar to Hewlett Packard … even their tape drives go the other way round]
  • This was the house owned by Dick and Fanny Hooze of Theyitchalotta, Kansas. It is now a national monument because it was here, at the Hooze Home where Dick and Fanny founded the Society of Mallemaroking Samurais Who Swap Wives With Men Wearing Radishes In Their Butts While Throwing Oranges at Anal Spanish Ninjas. They couldn’t fit this all on a sign, so there is none on the house.
  • Timmy the cat. His owners though it belonged to them, but of course Timmy knew better.
  • Tough one. Presumably someone well known. Looks sort of fifties/sixties (driveway down the side of the house), possibly in the north of the Northern Hemisphere (from the trees). Not short of a quid, but not super rich either. That’s narrowed it down to a few hundred million. From the word “was”, they have sold it or died. Roald Dahl?
  • Warren G. Harding
  • Well, all I know is that it wasn’t mine. But that doesn’t matter.

Comments:

  • A couple of crappy questions… literally!
  • As per usual here is my question for you Uncle Bob, one question that is so challenging it’ll be sure to keep you up all night searching for the answer. What is the question? I should mention that in your answer you can’t quote the question or use the word question anywhere. [But I have to quote it to give the answer!]
  • Dr Bob, your wit honestly leaves me speechless with mirth. “Hawl of Fame” for me indeed! Oh how I laughed. Heh heh heh! Heh heh. Heh. Ummm… [I found the concept pretty funny too, actually.] Struth, you’re serious, aren’t you. [Yes it’s to keep you away from the other winners] OK then… What about if I suddenly revealed that I submitted all my entries under a pseudonym, and that my real name was Poppy Cock? Yes?? Won’t go for that one? OK, drastic action needed… What’s the phone number for the Witness Protection Program, somebody? Anybody??!!
  • Crikey it took ages to find the answer to Q5, but at least I learnt something in the process. And really, we can’t ask for more than that, can we.
  • Curse your expletive deleted picture questions, Bob.
  • Doesn’t it help if you actually know the answers Dr. Bob? (that’s your house, isn’t it? Be advised you live only two blocks from my house, and from now on, every morning, your lawn sprinklers will be turned on, year round, forever. WEEEEEEEEEDS!!!)
  • Don’t fake the funk on a nasty dunk
  • Dr Bob, you are a smarty goanna-bum.
  • Dr. Bob. Hmmm…Any relation to the infamous Rev Bob?
  • Haven’t done this before Bob, but very amusing. [That won’t sound like much of an excuse in the morning] I’ll have to come up with a different theme for the next set. But I’m sure you’ll have even more wonderful questions for us. I toast you. [Thanks – when you’ve finished with the blowtorch, pass it along – there is a queue waiting]
  • HEEELLLLPPPP!!!!
  • How do you save the answers so one can go away and search for the remainder?
  • I hate bloody beaches, bloody sunburn and blisters, bloody sand rash in the bloody crotch, bloody oyster shells embedded in the bloody feet, and those bastard mosquitoes and flies! Not to mention broken glass. Just thought you needed to know that. [So we won’t be seeing you in Melbourne then?]
  • I haven’t got a clue but I thought it would be fun to send something in. [Yes but NOT a ticking alarm clock buried in white powder next time please]
  • I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. — Shirley Temple
  • I’d never heard of Tom Paine until I looked him up for the first question. I’m glad I did: quite a character.
  • Is there any thing more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo flying in front of a beautiful, beautiful sunset, carrying a beautiful pink rose in its beak and holding a beautiful enchilada in his feet—and also you’re high?
  • Its friday the 28th of Feb.. Last day of the quiz – cant find the answer to the picture quiz AGAIN!!!!! Stupid picture quiz…..harumph!
  • Just because I like to put it out that I’m moderately smart doesn’t mean I know anything at all. Good questions mate! [Yes, but if you throw a bucket of water over them they stop it.]
  • Keep those questions from http://www.doorbell.net/tlr coming! Also, I find your fascination with bowel movements worrying. Do you ever get out? [Yes I do – the back door is often open]
  • Maybe I should adopt an epithet for myself. “Michael the Memorable” sounds kinda silly – how about “Michael the Awesome”? [Try “St Michael”, then you can get clothes with your name already sewn in]
  • Perhaps I should attempt these questions before 9:30pm, which is when my brain usually shuts off for the evening [so you can watch television]
  • Pick me! [As Trotsky once said – but only once]
  • Polecats, Bob. Invest in polecats. They’re the next big thing.
  • Somehow I missed the entire month of January Dr. Bob. [Wow, your New Year’s Eve party must have been pretty amazing] I hope you didn’t think I had offed myself. No, I am still among the living.
  • Sorry Dr. Bob after winning for a second time previously I have been in shock for a few months.
  • Sorry my answers are a bit lame. I am young and short on trivia. Love reading others answers though!
  • Thank you and goodnight.
  • That “Clear” button is a bit of mis-labelling. It does not make things clear, it just erases my answers. [Silly you. That button’s only for Scientologists]
  • That was fun [Yes I’m sure it was, but did you enjoy doing the quiz?]
  • The rank (not really I use deodorant here particularly when minimum temperatures are 30*C) beginner is back. I have got it now (hope it is not catching). Much more fun inventing answers than using Google and all my reference books for the right solutions. Look forward to being corrected if not chastised. I am still amazed that Dr Bob exists [So am I – at least I get a shock every time I look in the mirror] and replies to inane messages like this. I will wear my Skeptics cap and T shirt with pride (and sweat).
  • The jew and hindu aboard space shuttle Columbia are now roasting and screaming in eternal damnation and hellfire, and so are any of the other five who didn’t grovel to that megalomanic avatar jesus christ and his self-appointed spokespersons on earth. [Oh Andrew!! Such passion]
  • This comment field has been intentionally left blank.
  • Two months away with eclipses, Christmas, funerals and moving house and I come back to what? The death penalty, farts in the bath, non-memorable kings and dykes in suits. [More fun I hope than funerals or moving house] Glad to see the standards have not risen at all :o)
  • Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!
  • Well done, Dr Bob (except for that 1104 year)
  • Well, another month goes by and still I try to be creative, if not somewhat funny. It never works, I should really give up……well maybe next month.
  • What’s with the cross-dressing ?? 😛
  • Why am I doing this at midnight? I should be in bed asleep.
  • Yah Di Buckety!
  • What’s the obsession with the pot people??? Wee-eeed!! [There was an advert for Optrex eye drops on a tram in about 1986 – “One day Bill and Ben were in the garden – Bill said to Ben, my eyes are watering, what should I do” And just before the line where Ben said “Use Optrex eye drops” someone had written “Stop Smoking Weed”]