Answers for July 2004

It’s amazing how far someone can get that hasn’t heard of Capt Beefheart … my wife wishes she never had. WINNER for July 2004 is

Rod Shire

who supplied several unique correct or nearly-right answers. Except for the Beefheart one, which nobody got anyway. Have none of you seen the famous BBC documentary on this musical maverick? How I despair. The Melbourne Age newspaper today printed 3 reasons to see Tarkovsky’s masterpiece Andrei Rublev – but only 3 reasons? Anyway, well done, Rod. I presume you don’t know very much about the Titanic or Hitler either …. let’s see how far that gets you.


Question 1

If you visit the notorious Bates Motel, and you pass through the building and go into the backyard, what would you see?

Answer

Dinosaurs. The set of Jurassic Park is next to the set of Psycho

Other Answers

  • If you visit the notorious Bates Motel, and you pass through the building and go into the backyard, WHO would you see!
  • A big pile of casaba melons
  • A film crew setting up to make a remake of the remake of the remake of Psycho?
  • An old hills hoist with socks and bloomers, some dilapidated garden furniture, and a real old lady who looks like she could use a drink of water and a feed.
  • Check out the Bates Motel at http://www.swedesrealestate.com/batesm.htm. If you passed through that building, you might see someone taking a picture of the house from the backyard. I don’t know if that Bates Motel is notorious, though. [We’ll have to see what we can do]
  • Gideons
  • Iceland
  • Janet Leigh, naked wrapped in a shower curtain? [then she wouldn’t be naked would she?]
  • Since the Bates Motel is on a Universal Studios back lot, I suppose you’d see what’s keeping the motel from falling over.
  • That all depends on what you were smoking. In fact if you were whacked out enough to try and pass through a solid structure like the walls of the Bates Motel I’d say you’d see solid gold strumpets climbing up the Eiffel tower and Captain Beefheart clubbing his own ghost with Maxwell’s silver hammer.
  • The backyard of the Bates Motel. (It’s midnight – what do you expect?) [Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil?]
  • The backyard, containing a clothesline with his mother’s smalls drying in the warm, yet somehow chilling sunlight. The caw of an unseen crow shatters the solitude of this scene, and an un-oiled door hinge squeals in protest from the other side of the house as you look around uncertainly for the porter.
  • The house, and whatever else Universal Studios has back there.
  • The notorious Bates House. The notorious Bates Swamp. The rest of the back lot on the set.
  • The old casting couch laying in the bush there. She went and got herself respectable for the shower scene.
  • The psycho swimming pool. Depends. Looking up I guess the sky. Could have eyes shut, be blind or have broken glasses & might not see anything.
  • The woodsmans daughter (and you could hear her ringbark for miles).
  • This must be a trick question Dr Bob. The Bates Motel is a set on the back lot of Universal Studios. It is probably still there and can be seen on the studio tour. There is nothing through the building except possibly a nice view of the Hollywood Hills, if they are visible through the smog and there is nobody living there as Tony Perkins, Lee J. Cobb and Vera Miles are all dead. Or did you think that Psycho was a documentary about a real murder?
  • Will I see something different if I go into the backyard without passing through the building? If I climb the fence will I see Martians? [Only if the fence is high enough. Or if you are high enough]
  • You were expecting maybe the Paris Hilton? (the building, not the bottle blonde).
  • If you’re quick, you’ll see Alfred hitch cock while young Master Bates…

Question 2

The 1972 edition of Chambers’ Twentieth Century Dictionary contained many new words, but only one word in the 1952 edition was removed – which word?

Answer

“agene” (a flour whitener)

Other Answers

  • “Nineteen-Fifty-Two”, which was replaced with “Nineteen-Seventy-Two”.
  • “Morals”
  • “Removed” – yes I know you’ll get this in about 50% of entries, but honestly… what did you expect? [Yours was the only such answer 🙂 ]
  • Adolfhitlerisagoodbloke, a word originally inserted in the 1938 edition at the insistence of the Duke of Windsor and removed in the 1952 edition at the insistence of a W.S.Churchill.
  • Contrafibularities
  • Gadzooks
  • Sexykeith, n., colloq. (1) Editor of this dictionary (2) Person who finds gratification in slotting clever little self-serving nods into his work. This popular word was tragically removed after a 9th grader, asked why he used the word “spunkyjoe”, told his professor he was Sexykeithing.
  • “VAMP – a featherless bird of prey”, was dropped, but I don’t know if it was for the 1972 edition.
  • A word so obscene, profane, vile, and blasphemous that we dare not repeat it!
  • Agene – but they put it back in a later edition.
  • Agene, a flour whitening agent. A simple scan through the two editions would quickly have revealed this, Dr Bob, no need for Google.
  • Agene. Strictly it wasn’t removed. They just spelled it correctly as “agent” in the ’72 edition.
  • Alþingi
  • Bum!
  • Communist … McCarthy couldn’t stand having it in there.
  • Gullible
  • Gullible
  • Gullible
  • Hopefully more than just one word. blimey, cor & lumme spring to mind as good candidates for a shafting around that year.
  • I looked through the “A”s and half the “B”s in both editions at my local (American) library, but I simply ran out of time. So I will have to guess (don’t say it Dr Bob. I don’t guess all the time. Only most of it.) The word is probably ‘honesty’ which was no longer in popular currency. Nothing much has changed.
  • Iceland
  • Matriarchy. No one had needed it for a thousand years so it was given the shove.
  • Merdurinous – Composed of urine and dung [better is “composed of urine and rum do’s” … sorry I’ve been engaging in too much cruciverbalism lately]
  • Miss A M Macdonald was the chief editor of the 1972 edition. She didn’t like some of the older more flowery definitions. But I was thinking maybe “Gay” as about that time it may have been a bit hard to define it’s meaning. But I have heard that “identify” is missing from the new edition. I suppose I could have gone to the library and checked. Nah!
  • Perhaps you’re referring to the loss of the posessive in the title — Chambers’ Twentieth Century Dictionary became Chambers Twentieth Century Dictionary. So, “Chambers'” was removed. Or, do you mean some other “only one word?”
  • Realising that the word would not exist until 25 years hence, the lexicographers removed “Google” from the 1972 edition.
  • Sasquatch
  • Since Gardner’s “In the Name of Science” was also released in 1952 it was probably too late to keep flying saucer from making the cut. The word would have been later omitted, because, as Gardner said, interest in UFO’s would only last a decade or two…
  • The one at the bottom of page 783, it was removed and placed at the top of page 784
  • The word “vamp”? But I thought it’s commonly used even to this day! Seem to recall seeing this word in teens magazines…
  • Why was the dictionary question so hard to understand? Who cares about 1972 if all you wanted was ’52? Or Vice versa? I’m lost and confused like a stoned blind man.

Question 3

There was a severe outbreak of cholera in London 1848. How was it stopped?

Dr Bob’s Wrong Answer:

  • Removed the handle from the Broad St water pump

More Accurate Answers:

  • Unlike the outbreak of 1854 which was stopped by Dr John Snow removing the pump handle from the Broad Street pump, thus finally convincing the powers that be cholera was spread by polluted water, not by a “miasma”, the 1848 epidemic faded away in time due to several things: reduced “miasma” spreading the disease; king tides and heavy rain flushing the Thames and streets; fewer people remained to die; moving the burial grounds so that drinking water was not so polluted by water flowing over the bodies of Cholera victims [Arrghh this was the answer I had in mind for the 1848 epidemic!!! That’s the great thing about this quiz, I get to learn so much. Thanks Stephen]
  • By the Poms realising that cholera is water-borne and hence adopting their habit, which has endured to this very day, of not washing.
  • 60,000 people died… um… <frantically reads webpage> They fixed the sewrage system [and all the seamstresses became much more placid]
  • Boiling water for drinking – the same way as how Sydneysiders should combat Cryptosporidium and Giardia instead of bottling water and providing astronomical profits for bottled water companies!
  • By creating a cleaner water supply.
  • By using the patented ‘Jeeves Rectal Plug’ … however this was only a stopgap solution and people started to explode if they left it in too long.
  • Compulsory Ass Corkage.
  • Easy. The press stopped reporting about it and the public accepted the deaths as natural.
  • Everybody died? This was probably mentioned in a recent television programme on the building of the London sewers, but unfortunately I missed 2/3rds of it so this is another question I am unable to answer. I do know that until the 1860’s, cholera was believed to be caused by a miasma (rather like malaria). To alleviate sufferers’ chronic dehydration, they were given lots of water, quite likely the water that had caused it in the first place. Thousands died quite unnecessarily. Nowadays, of course, one would give saline drips, or intravenous gin, no ice.
  • Everyone moved to Iceland
  • Everyone moved upstream. (Since smelly things caused the disease they could have just gotten rid of the dead bodies, the open sewage, . . .)
  • Flushing the underground sewers with a diverted waterway
  • It was stopped? Cholera hasn’t yet been eradicated (unlike smallpox, poor microbes never stood a chance), so one would assume that it has not yet been stopped.
  • John Snow took the handle off the water pump in Broad Street. The pump was believed to be the source of the infection. However, in a recent article in the Lancet, apparently Dr Snow had a good sense of timing as the epidemic was in a state of natural decline anyway.
  • Laxatives? The sewers weren’t for years after that. I think it was bureaucrats.
  • Londoners very cleverly stopped drinking their own effluent.
  • Morris dancing.
  • No one knows for sure. All the rich people locked themselves inside for the winter with provisions and truckloads of cocaine. When the spring came, their septums and cholera were gone forever.
  • Primitive statistical analysis of outbreaks compared to distribution of public water pumps.
  • That was the same year that they introduced “school milk”. The evil smelling and tasting canned milk prepared in back-alley canneries by the M.P.’s useless sons-in-law probably killed the cholera. [That would have been more rational than the excuse Thatcher gave when ending it in 1971]
  • The government did what governments do… they put forth a bill! Oh, and 10 years later they went about putting in sewers, to actually stop that sort of thing and make the Thames clean(er).
  • The maginot line – the poms used it against cholera and then sold it to france. Used lines are rarely any good!
  • The Public Health act helped clean up the act generally. (dead’n’s shit etc)
  • The source was traced to a contaminated water pump; lauded as the first use of GIS.
  • They built sewers to remove the miasma that cholera was thought to come from. In doing so they also removed the shit from the water supply. What we golfers call “a good miss” i.e. when your ball bounces off a tree and lands on the green.
  • They put up posters. Really they did. Not all the advice on the poster was particularly good. But it did warn about drinking certain water. It was known that water from the Thames was a likely cause of cholera. The Public Health Bill, passed in 1848 empowered a central authority to set up local boards whose duty was to see that new homes had proper drainage and that local water supplies were dependable. New sewers were installed etc. But it took quite a while to get it all right. It wasn’t until after the 1854 outbreak that John Snow really studied the London water supply.
  • Tins of fermented herrings? [Possible – they can certainly stop a party dead in its tracks]
  • An investigator plotted the outbreaks on a map and pinpointed it to a particular well, and simply removed the handle? This stopped the cholera – shame the locals all then died of dehydration…..
  • Pass [Wrong. I asked for how the epidemic was ended, not how it began]

Question 4

Residents of Mongolia have for centuries had only single names, but were recently required to adopt surnames. What happened?

Answer

  • They all took the same surname – Chingiz or variants. Actually this turns out to be quite reasonable as it has turned out that more than half the men are descended from Genghis Khan, who must have worked overtime on conquering the world in several different ways.

Better Still:

  • Everyone wanted to be Borjigin again.
  • Khan-age.
  • It was the work of a bureaucratic Khan artist.
  • As a penalty to get the reluctant populace to adopt last names they forced all the people who didn’t have last names to do a lively dance when they requested government services. Soon they were all Borjigin.
  • Compilation of first phone directory.
  • Dr Bob really, centuries? The Soviets made them drop their last names about 80 years ago. They mostly forgot what they were supposed to be. But that’s OK they could just think of a new one. The problem is they all revere Genghis Khan so the most popular name is now Borjigin, the old Khan’s family name.
  • Either nothing. They ignored the request. Or they all chose the same name. Something like yak herder which would be the Mongolian equivalent of Smith or Patel. Or they simply used their existing name to make their surname, e.g. Gado Gado or Pago Pago or Lytton Bulwer Lytton. They should have followed the Icelandic precedent and named themselves after their father, like Magnus Magnusson, Snorri Snorrison or Kylie Gudmannsdottir or whatever.
  • Everyone wants the name Borjigin, as if they have some connection to Genghis Khan.
  • Failure to keep up with family lineages.
  • Have you left your precognition switched on? An hour ago, as I was listening to Radio Old Fart (aka Radio National) a a guest on “The Spirit of Things” was discussing Ghengis Khan and his self-declared godliness. [Well, many of the women he met said “Jesus Christ” when…] According to him, young Temujin got ideas about his importance in the world, and took a huge number of concubines. Molecular biologists have identified a genetic marker in his descendants, and estimate that just on one in two Mongolian males today are, somehow, related to him. So it’s no wonder they all want the same surname. And this the day after The Age newspaper reported that a Mongolian restaurant was offering a free meal to anyone who could prove by genetic testing that they were descended from G.K. If large tour groups from Mongolia start coming through, the business may well go bust. On top of this, I found some long-lost childhood photos on the weekend – photos of family pet, a cat who had an extremely high opinion of himself; his habits of brawling, bonking and spending the rest of his time atop high furniture (so that he could look down on all humans) led my my dad to christen him Genghis Khan…..
  • Prefixing the father’s name to the given name created a two part name where the given name became the surname.
  • Residents got fed up using roman numerals as part of their names.
  • They adopted bloody surnames, of course. Tch, Dr Bob, silly question.
  • They all had to go to the bank to change the names on their accounts, unfortunately they all chose Gengis-Khan as a surname and this caused a major overload of the bank abacuses and the yak price plummeted. Consequently they had to mortgage their yurts to be able to afford yak butter to rub all over themselves.
  • They all wanted to be called “Borjigin”, so they could talk about the good old days when Great Great Great etc. Uncle Ghengis went backpacking in Europe.
  • They applied for Mastercards
  • They nearly all chose the same surname (which I’ve temporarily forgotten). Sort of removes the point really.
  • They now have adopted names. As soon as they can, they will have biological names too.
  • They quit giving their sons/daughters names that made it sound like they had surnames when they didn’t, hence they needed proper surnames.
  • They ran out of first names. Originally, single letters were used; a practice that was discontinued after the birth of the 27th resident.
  • They used their first names as surnames. Like former lord mayor of Perth Michael Michaels. [Who was later elevated to sainthood … check the name tag in his underpants]
  • They wanted to apply for Mastercards. Either that, or they all saw those cute heartbreaking ads where one is compelled to adopt a starving Ethiopian surname for just a dollar a day.
  • Why do you ask, Two Dogs? It seems people were advised to “think of something they were born near, the name of a river, valley or mountain or their occupation.” Fortunately a large number of Mongolians decided to follow ancient traditions with lots of “Genghis Khans” – apparently over 500 of them in Ulan Bator and some opted for surnames like “Seven Drunk Men” that hint at Mongolia’s national pastime
  • They all picked the word that was taken out of the 1952 edition of the Chambers’ Twentieth Century Dictionary, and consequently, no one knew what it meant.

Question 5

Captain Beefheart when new to pop music in the 1960s was groomed by his record company to look like whom?

Answer

Quoting John Peel in the BBC biography: Mick Jagger

Other Answers

  • A beefeater
  • A cross between Frank Zappa and the Mad Hatter. [He did adopt such a look, didn’t you notice?]
  • A singer. [No. No way. Nahhh]
  • All the monkees – at once.
  • Another musician I have never heard of [splutter splutter]. You have some funny taste in music Dr Bob. I, therefore, looked him up. [But it appears that you did not find the page that says “Possibly the greatest rock musician of all times, and certainly one of the most original and influential geniuses of the 20th century … The distance between Captain Beefheart and the rest of rock music is the same distance that there was between Beethoven and the symphonists of his time … The greatest American rock critic of all times, Lester Bangs, wrote: “Captain Beefheart is the most important musician to rise in the Sixties, far more significant and far-reaching than the Beatles … At the end of the millennium it becomes more and more evident that Trout Mask Replica is the only record of rock music worth listening to.”] In some pictures he looks like Teddy Roosevelt, in others like General Custer (after the Little Big Horn. Why can’t the Americans make up their minds? Is it Little or Big? It cannot be both!) He, real name Don van Vliet, was also a friend or acquaintance of Frank Zappa, so I guess he was groomed to look like Tiny Tim.
  • Ásgeir Ásgeirsson
  • Captain Pugwash
  • “Captain Beefheart” was really a bowdlerised “Captain Beefart” (try saying it aloud) so it follows that he was groomed by a honey who was smelly. This narrows the field to women who are real honeys but are on the nose. Ipso facto, he must have been groomed by a Pommy honey (see Q3 above), perhaps Jayne Mansfield or Diana Dors, so one concludes he was groomed to look like a contemporary of theirs. Arthur Askey springs immediately and horrifyingly to mind. It’s no wonder the world has not heard of Captain Beefheart since.
  • Derek Smalls. Of course that was back when Spinal Tap was known as the Thamesmen. (Look at pictures of both and tell me I’m wrong!)
  • Dr Dre. He’s been cloning himself…I mean….producing stars for half a century already.
  • Dusty Springfield.
  • elton john? phillip glass? the bloke on the Fiji $2 note? me? luke skywalker? saddam hussein? genghis khan borjigin? frank spencer? buggered if i know!
  • Elvis? Michael Jackson? A piece of beef? I have no idea… Give me a break! It’s almost 30 years before I was born! [Wow, you are about to be born again!!!]
  • Every other 60s pop singer.
  • Fatcat.
  • Frank Zappa? Bob Dylan? Cliff Richard?
  • I gave up at this point. I started doing this quiz purely to write the comments.
  • I’d say George Harrison because of that trippy album cover in 4 different colours where he looks like the feller, but after a Google image search I’m tempted to say the love child of Stalin, Michael Caine and Willy Wonka’s Leprechaun Double.
  • Moses
  • Nina Simone. It didn’t work.
  • Queen Victoria – this explains their poor record sales.
  • Sam Houston Andrew of Janis Joplin’s band, “Big Brother And The Holding Company.”
  • Someone else, probably someone famous. Am I close at all?
  • The Mothers of Invention.
  • To me he looked like a Frank Zappa wannabee. Unfortunately he didn’t have the wonderful ability to name children like Frank did (Moon Unit, Diva, Ahmet, Dweezil and Gail … okay one had a normal sort of name) and the world lost interest in him by the mid ’70s. [well, most of the world]
  • Under immense pressure from the quizmaster, I have had another bash at Captain Beefheart. To me he looks like a total original, not modelled on anybody else at all. References to Delta blues and Howling Wolf notwithstanding I will still confess myself to be baffled. Then I stumbled on a website on cleaning LPs which was far more interesting and far more important. [Hey that’s an idea … I’ll go and get the wire brush. It will make the music louder. And probably improve it too. In fact, I’ll throw away the record and put the wire brush on the turntable instead].
  • Well knowing record companies as I don’t, I’ll make a wild guess. Sonny Bono, of Sonny and Cher. Why? I have my reasons.
  • Well lick my decals off, Dr Bob. I’m not sure that groomed is the right word here.
  • Groomed? He was groomed???

Question 6

Y2K currency has been issued by Fiji – this is the $2 banknote. What is remarkable about the $5 note?

Answer

By the time they got around to issuing these banknotes, the rest of the world had got as far as 2003. As for the $5 notes … well they are said to be ready to go, but have not quite been issued yet so nobody has seen one.

Other Answers

  • At last, a picture question I can answer. Fiji did not issue the $5 note. Probably because Y2K was confusing and Y5K looked wrong, but they didn’t know why.
  • Dr Bob, don’t you know that it is a Federal crime in pretty well all countries to copy currency? [Hey gimme a chance – I cut the serial number out] And I note that it has “2000 where the Millenium begins”, whereas we all now know that the Millenium began in 2001. Which reminds me: what about those NSW licence plates that say “towards 2000”. Do the cars that wear those plates go backwards, too?
  • I believe the $5 note was withdrawn from circulation because many of the locals objected to its image being not of Ratu Sir Penaia Ganilau but rather the late Ratu Sir Kamikaze Marinara swapping sulus with coup coordinator Sitivenal Rambutan under a stylised sun which looked for all the world like George Speight’s skull.
  • If you look at the $2 note’s angry Fijian guy in reverse held up to a black light, he has a speech bubble proclaiming “I want to eat that little Kaka bird” whilst the fiver’s angry Fijian guy says “Captain Beefheart Forever!”
  • It doesn’t exist.
  • It doesn’t have the number five on it.
  • It fits in the breast pocket of Alexander Downer’s oriental style silk smoking jacket.
  • It got the queen on it.
  • It has a picture of barney the dinosaur on it
  • It has the mugshot of ex-coup-leader, Sitiveni Rambuka
  • It has Y5K printed on it.
  • It is counterfeit.
  • It is NOT legal tender in Iceland
  • It is unlike any other banknote anywhere in the world.
  • It isn’t worth $5 Canadian.
  • It was much smaller in size, thicker and heavier … which isn’t surprising as it was actually a coin. Unfortunately for the Fijian public, due to a military coup in the coin factory, it wasn’t made Y2K compliant and many Fijians were injured at 00:01 on January 1st 2000 when the coins spontaneously erupted in purses and wallets all over the country.
  • It’s a coin. It also looks nothing like your picture.
  • It’s just as worthless as the $2 note.
  • It’s made of rice paper.
  • It’s not Australian Legal Tender, unlike most New Zealand 10¢ coins. Also it says it’s commemorating the year 2000 where the millenium begins, even though that’s open to debate….
  • It’s still wont buy you a cup of coffee in London.
  • Owing to being printed on a non Y2K compliant machine, the ink all faded away on 1/1/2000 and people were left with almost worthless blank paper.
  • Please don’t tell me it has Y5K on it.
  • The note says two dollars.
  • There is no $5 note — there’s a $5 Y2K silver coin.
  • There is only one $5 in the entire country.
  • Well I can find plenty of pictures of the 2 dollar one. But the five? Nope, anyway see that big 2 in the y2k. That means two dollars. [Or $2,000?] So logically they would have to have a y5k note. One would think they wouldn’t bother. But then why would Dr Bob ask?
  • The millennium did not begin in 2000 – it ended.

Comments and Sage Advice:

  • A word of advice for young players. It is not what you know that matters. You can answer every question wrong, not that I did, I answered the two everybody else answered, it is how you treat the Bobster that matters. Some quite blatant and unbecoming grovelling got me over the line last month, not my brilliance. I do not feel proud of what I did, but at least I can die knowing that I made Dr Bob’s winners’ list. What is it about Iceland that excites you Dr Bob? It looks a cold, bleak and miserable country and apart from the sagas can have little to recommend it. I did see an Icelandic film once, with nubile, naked ladies frolicking in the hot springs [and, you still need to ask what it is about Iceland …..!?]
  • An accountant is someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing, while an auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets the wounded. Meanwhile, a statistician is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be either an accountant or an auditor. (Thank you, o internet, for these words of wisdom.)
  • Any bonus points for doing this in a mad rush cos it’s the last evening of the month, while pissing off old friends who keep ringing up and aren’t interested in Fijian notes, iceland or Mongolians?
  • Have you seen the tattoo of an evil clown on that guy from D12’s stomach!!?? Dr. Bob needs one if he wants to keep up with times. Contemporize man.
  • Hey! It’s tomorrow there. It’s today here! My on-time entry today is late down under! How do you treat that? [With derision]. I couldn’t have taken the test yesterday — I just found your site a few hours ago!!! ARRRGH! [Well, the webmaster does not put the new questions up until late in the day on the 1st, for exactly this reason. A lot of people rush in at the last minute (and some seem to have spent the whole month researching the answers – I must be ruining a lot of people’s lives) and we have to be fair to the US/Canada/etc people who are 15 hours behind us!]
  • Hhhmmmmmm…….
  • Hi Bob, Hows it going? I’m well and so are the family. The cat is pregnant again [<Dr Bob blushes> <coughs> <looks at ceiling>] but this time we aren’t going to keep the kitt… oops sorry, I thought I was writing to my Uncle Harry in Boggabilla.
  • Hi. I’m a 16 year old with no life. I’ve just proven that by doing your quiz. 🙂 [But on the contrary – your life BEGINS now! Well, the rest of it, anyway]
  • Hope you never get tired of smug nerds making crap jokes! Like this feeble attempt…
  • I just found your site today. I love some of the “answers”. Next month I’ll have time to be more creative. [Ahem. I see you have made no similar comment about the “questions”. This is not a good start to becoming a winner.]
  • I know all my answers are wrong but I couldn’t resist the pun.
  • I know I should take this more seriously – maybe next time!
  • I now know why last month’s questions were comparatively easy. This month’s are ball tearers, but no mathematics, no Philip Glass and no Flowerpot Men. For something, at least, we can be grateful.
  • If Dr Bob stayed at the Bates,Next door to G Khan and his mates,Would sewers be rank?Would he meet the new Frank,And pay at Fijian bank rates?
  • If you were blind, and got stoned, would you see enormous yellow waves of Steve Burns in Braille?
  • In early yet again. Did I get any right? Well yeah but surely everyone will get the Mongolian one right. What about Sonny Bono? I reckon that’s one wild, inspired guess that answer. I mean how many pop stars of the sixties and long hair and a mo? Oh, that many? I see.
  • More please, Bob.
  • Nothing to say this month.
  • Okay, I winged it without consulting my best friend, Mr Google. But it was fun.
  • Rather hard this month. I hope you employ scaling to give me a pass. [Some people evidently believe that I have employed scaling for some years, since they claim that I am now covered in them]
  • The movie Fahrenheit 911 (sorry, we’re still not metric in the USA; Celsius 488 down under?) gives a lot of details the mainstream press in the USA isn’t giving to the American people (you Australians probably knew it all already). A good, skeptical treatment of George the Second’s presidency. [You could compare him to George the Third]
  • Today is the 6th of July and there is still no sign of last month’s answers. This is getting more and more anxiety-inducing. Dr Bob, please hurry! I am suffocating in a sea of gormlessness and mediocrity and slowly dying… [And so was I once – and here’s how to stop it – turn the TV off]
  • Trying the old Icelandic-themed answers trick. One hopes it’s worth the effort! [Well it worked for Rod Shire last month]
  • What’s a battle?
  • When South Africa ended apartheid and Europe lifted its embargos on trade and travel one of the first ballet troupes to visit South Africa sent a pair of costumes to the president. To be fair they wanted to send a couple costumes to a black leader, also. So, they sent two tutus to Tutu, too.
  • Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my powers are largely ceremonial.
  • ^&I tyyyped thqwis w*Ith my feeeeeet!@~@!!! [and I type with one finger …. bbbuuuttt nnnooowww III aaammm tttyyypppiiinnnggg wwwiiittthhh …..]