Answers for April 1999

Far more answers were received this month. Somewhere, somebody has been plugging this page – probably a conspiracy. Among the many witty answers it was difficult to select a WINNER this month, but here he is –

Dave Hawley


Question 1

In Pieter Bruegel’s painting Landscape with Fall of Icarus – what parts (if any) of Icarus are shown?

Correct Answers:

(refer http://metalab.unc.edu/wm/paint/auth/bruegel/icarus.jpg )

  • As in most of the Pieter Bruegel the Elder paintings, little tiny events can sometime be seen taking place in the background. So in this one, in the foreground, there’s a big turbulent blare of humanity, trying to put-shout each other, while way back there is a little splash in the water where Icarus fell. Or to say it with someone else’s words: [the 1946 poem by W.H.Auden]
  • His Fall
  • His feet, from the ankles up.
  • His right leg, and part of his left leg. He is taking a swan-dive into the sea in the bottom right of the painting, next to a Dutch sailing ship of the late 1500’s. It obviously took a VERY long time for Icarus to fall. There also seem to be the odd few feathers floating down in his re-entry trajectory, but these were technically not part of Icarus himself.
  • Only the c, a and u. The I, r,and s are out of the frame.

Additionally Annexed Are Any And All Answers Actually Attempting An Anachronistic Artistic Appreciation:

  • Although the picture is called LwFoI, the leg waving in the water in the lower right cannot possibly be Icarus. The ships, the costumes and the whole picture is an anachronism if Icarus is involved. I suspect that Breughel had painted his landscape already when he found that Greek mythology was all the rage, so he added a leg and a few feathers and called it Icarus, which probably upped the price by a few florins.
  • All of Icarus is shown … He is just spread over the entire landscape
  • Legs. His mum told him he couldn’t fly, but did he listen…
  • Maybe his legs, but not being familiar with Icarus’ legs, I can’t be sure.
  • None, just a big Icarus-shaped hole in the ground.
  • None. The fee demanded by Icarus for posing for the picture was beyond Pieter’s means. He only had enough money to hire a farmer and a bloke to stare into the sky.
  • The painting originally started as “Landscape with Shepherds and Farmer” which then went to “Landscape with Synchronised Swimmer” ….
  • The liver, the giblets and the kidneys
  • What’s the difference between Icarus and a bad golfer ? The bad golfer goes whack ! shit …….
  • Icarus not to answer this.

Question 2

What character (actual or fictional) has been portrayed the most times in cinema films?

Ironically and Unnecessarily Humble Correct Answer:

can’t now remember if it was Count Dracula or Sherlock Holmes, put this in the silly answers if it was neither.

Correct Answer

Most-portrayed character: Sherlock Holmes (75 actors, 211 movies) – http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/Field/3228/numbers.html·
Although Dracula has become the most-portrayed character in horror films (appearing in some 122 different variations) – http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Set/6281/Nosferatu.html·

Not Bad Attempts:

  • Dorian Grey [Groan]
  • Shirley MacLaine because with all of her re-incarnations/multi-lives
  • Man In Crowd
  • Fictional character – Jesus
  • I don’t know his name, but he wears an SS uniform and has a monocle.
  • Clueless Blonde American Chick
  • Macho and Muscly but Dumb American Guy.
  • Jesus. He’s even a Star Wars figure now (see http://www.trainupachild.com/trainupachild/), so he must be famous.
  • The entire cast of the “Police Academy” films
  • Police Officer who gets Killed the Day before he Retires
  • The upfront, honest, tough, forthright, no nonsense, all conquering, common sense, straight talking, non-devious all-American boy … appearing as cowboy, cop or hero. This may elp explain why Americans have difficulty in understanding reality.

Question 3

Did Hitler marry?(Whoops, an ambiguous question – ambiguous in two ways, ambiguously ambiguous. )

Correct Answers of Type 0:

  • Yes, and I await with interest to see those answers which are able to extract something humorous from this question.

Correct Answers of Type 1:

  • Yes, just before midnight, 28th april, 1945, he married his mistress, Eva Braun, in a brief civil ceremony. The next day, she committed suicide by swallowing poison, minutes before hubby hitler took his own life with a pistol. shortest marriage on record?
  • Yes … “Fräulein Braun, nehmen Sie den Führer als Ehemann?”.
  • Yes, married under the then current marriage laws of Germany, involving the exchange of copies of “Mein Kampf”.
  • Yes, and the wedding went off with a bang!
  • Well, he sure added a new meaning to a ‘shotgun wedding’
  • Yes, but it is unlikey the union was consummated, or that the appropriate papers were filed.

Correct Answers of Type 2:

  • Yes, to a Mrs Hitler, who gave birth to a son called Adolf. Unfortunately.
  • Alois Hitler (not Shickelgruber), did marry. So Adolf wasn’t a true bastard, as the WW2 allied leaders wanted their side to believe, being thus a bastard bastard. But since Adolf apparently had a highly unpleasant nature from the get-go, you could say he was a bastard in the sense of being an unpleasant character. That is, he was a bastard bastard bastard. Thus qualified, it’s no wonder he rose to the top in Nazism!

Correct Answers of Type 3:

  • No, he didn’t marry any other couples together. But he had trillions of copies of “Mein Kampf” printed so that plenty of young Germans could get married and get busy producing the Aryan master-race for him. Anyway, he was actively trying to stamp out religion, and he wasn’t a German marriage celebrant (or a Machenmittdasnükee).

Additional And Equally Correct Answers:

  • Hitler who?
  • That’s not the point. The scarier question is:”did he have any kids?”
  • Yes, but even then, marrying your mother was socially unacceptable, so he kept it all hush-hush…
  • yes, but it was never consummated, nor was he ever unfaithful

Question 4

What proportion of people in Western culture are left-handed?

Apprixmately Correct Answers

  • Nearly 100% – Anyone who actually possesses a left hand is “left-handed”, just like someone who has a tattoo can be said to be “tattooed”.
  • tnecrep 01 yltamixorppA 
  • 11% of americans and europeans. Long answer; between 10-30% influenced by age, culture, sex (not sure if that means “how often” or “which one”), genetic background, whether you live in the northern or southern hemisphere, what car you drive, if your grandmother’s name was mavis and whether you had McDonald’s the night before. (see http://watarts.uwaterloo.ca/~Ijelias/prevalence.htm)
  • 12.6% of men, 9.9% of women, 14% of young men, 12% of young women, 6% of elderly people, 9.3% of asians, 9.1% of hispanics…
  • About 12% – I don’t know the exact number, besides people keep being born and dying and anyway what is “Western Culture”?
  • 2%-30% depending on the definition of left-handedness
  • 20%
  • Latest thinking is that left-handedness is caused by a “switch” gene, which means that 12.5% of the population are left handed. This seems to be borne out by observation. Left handers are no longer forced to use their right hands for the most part so there are more obvious left handers today than there were 100 years ago.
  • L/(L + R)

Other Answers:

  • If they are left-handed they are by definition uncultured, so therefore none.
  • 98%….they’re all conspiring against us normal right-handers…..
  • A Handful
  • All the ones with their brains inserted backwards …as God said: “Cerebrum? Cerebellum? Schmerebellum? Which way does it go in?”
  • You can put to the left that which is right, and put to the right that which is left, and that which is left and right is rightly not left right.
  • Being a left hander I am tempted to say all the important people. Seriously, many people who are naturally left-handed go through life thinking they are right-handed (but still do things like throw stones or bat left-handed) because they were forced to use their right hand in infancy. Judging by the ever growing proportion of left handers attending my lectures, I predict that it will be 50/50 within two decades.
  • I am right-handed but nearly everyone I know is left-handed. How sinister! [Groan – if you understand the latin derivation of the word ‘sinister’]
  • Since the left side of your brain controls the right side of your body, and the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body, only left handed people are in their right mind.
  • No one is left handed, it`s a big con to sell left handed scissors and can-openers.

Question 5

What is/where might you find a Kleagle?

Correct Answers Showing a Certain Bias:

  • Where would you find one? Preferably, nowhere.
  • A Kleagle is some sort of organiser for the Ku Klux Klan. And you’d find one where ignorance and stupidity abound.
  • In the company of the Grand Goblin, the Exalted Cyclops and the Imperial Wizard, and other assorted wierdos in pointy white hoods.
  • A really stupid word like that could only be part of a cryptic crossword. I can just imagine the clue; ‘kkk legal eagle defends corrupt bird’
  • If you were signing up for the local Klu Klux Klan Koven. (In Australia the red hair is a dead giveaway)
  • Kusually in the Klaundry trying on their Kwhite Ksheets before their Klan Kmeeting.
  • Queensland

Answers Not Good To Say in Alabama:

  • You might find a Kleagle at the Martin Luther King memorial rally
  • It’s a short haired Russian dog

Other Answers:

  • In the gluten-free bagel section, between the eggels and the soygels.
  • Hangin’ out with Roger Ramjet and his mates, E.H. Eagle, F.J. Eagle & H.R. Eagle.
  • In a German orchestra – it’s that yummy glazed bun that the players eat during song breaks.
  • It is a badly assembled beagle, a “kludge-beagle”. You find them in any beagle-breeder’s yard that has very low fences and randy Irish Setters next door.
  • At the law firm Legal, Beagle and Kleagle who have 4 partners, 8 associates, 2 admin workers and an independent contractor (Look at their web page – I’m serious! Though I dunno whether they are)
  • You would find it in its Kleyrie on a Klcliff face, Klsoaring in the Klair or, in the case of a Klsea Kleagle, on a footy ground.
  • A Kleagle is a small green leafy vegetable found in parts of southern Ecuador
  • It’s an abbreviation for “Killer Legal Eagle”. They can be found at the bottom of the ocean as, being a lawyer, they are lower than whale shit.
  • Frankenstein’s laboratory, where he experimented with crossing a kelpie and an eagle. Later on he also cross bred a cricket and a bat.
  • It’s a Malaysian bird (get it?)

And Ever More Comments Continue to Flow In:

  • As a left handed Novocastrian treasurer, I am having serious doubts about doing this quiz after this and last months questions [Damn! There’s always one …]
  • Your optional comments for Dr. Bob regarding the quiz.
  • What?
  • I’m sorry for these answers Dr Bob. Your questions deserve much more sensible answers than these. [No!]
  • Bob, I am worried about the subtle (?) undertones of this month’s quiz. References to the nazi’s/hitler, KKK, suppressed and discriminated left-handers … are these the “danger signs” of something more sinister? Are you okay? [Sorry, it was my gloom and doom month. And as to whether I’m OK, you’ll have to ask my friends]
  • Great fun, Dr B! [please be more specific … me or the quiz?]
  • I find myself taking the time to do this quiz instead of doing other (actually important) things. Why? [We ask ze questions]
  • I think you should repeat previous questions so I have a better chance of winning (but don’t tell anyone else).
  • I’m a doctor Bob too – a retired pathologist. I just accidently discovered this site. I’m a hard-core atheist. [I bet you believed in a benevolent and providential God, until you came across this site by accident]
  • Is Bob your last name? [Yes, very nearly]
  • Could you please let us know where the winners “live”, as in geography – this would be interesting to see… [OK I will get around to this]
  • Keep it up we all need to lighten up [I cannot add to that]
  • Sir, You are a great and noble man. [I cannot add to that either]
  • Anagram of “This Is A Pointless Endeavour” => “Need Various Spanish Toilets”
  • In the final answer for Feb re ‘ostrich’, I did not know the answer and thought I was making a phonetic joke. [John – maybe this miracle will drive away your atheism and bring you back into the arms of a providential God. Does anyone know of a providential God for this purpose please?]
  • This mind left intentionally blank. [ ]
  • This quiz wasn’t as much fun as the last couple [Sorry – sometimes the more average questions sort of clump together]
  • Is it true that everyone you know refuses to play trivial pursuit with you anymore? [Actually I am not very good at that. However I do have the Swedish Culture subset, which is easy since all the questions have one of only 3 answers – (a) Ingmar Bergman (b) Ingrid Bergman (c) No]
  • Wow, I actually THINK I knew some of this stuff, boy am I deluded.
  • Where do you get your questions from (or is that a trade secret)? [OK here goes. Mainly from just reading stuff, or following up events or personages to the Nth degree in an obsession with knowing ALL about it/them … which explains the obsession with Hitler, the Titanic, etc etc. On coming across a really useless, obscure fact, whereas most people would think “Gosh, what a useless and obscure fact”, in my case it tends to clutter the old grey cells until it is liberated by being included in a trivia quiz … what a waste of neurones]