Answers for June 2008

ANSWERS June 2008. Our WINNER exasperatingly submitted 6 correct answers on day 2 of the month. Imagine my despair. Many other good answers, though, in this quiz themed on British Politics. Well done –

Alan Needham

Alan has been following the quiz for more than 10 years, and nary a win till now! Maybe because he lives in Perth. Not much happens in Perth. Alan: print this page out and wave it under the nose of those who put you down (or tell you off for not getting exam papers marked in time)


Question 1

In the reign of Queen Elizabeth I, what happened to people who found a message in a bottle, washed up on a beach?

Answer

Death, probably. In an age when the rest of the world was being discovered, explored and conquered, any information on navigation was of such amazing strategic value as to be the highest state secret. An “Uncorker of Ocean Bottles” was officially appointed, and only he was allowed to open them.

Additional Answers

  • According to the Turks and Caicos museum, they were put to death – though I’ve never found a better source for this. Please don’t say that your source is a Daily Telegraph article, because I wrote that.
  • After they rubbed the bottle they were sucked into the bottle and they were told by the Genie in it that for the next thousand wishes they were the bitch.
  • Ambiguity again, Dr Bob. Tch. Was it the bottle or the people who were washed up? [I was waiting for that one. People in the time of QE1 were not only washed-up, but quite a few were totally laundered and hung out to dry. Some were additionally drawn, and quartered]
  • As long as they got it to the “Uncorker of the Ocean Bottles” they were fine. Otherwise they were put to death.
  • Depends if they opened the bottle or not. Leave the cork in the neck if you value your neck sort of thing.
  • Dey was put in dis bottle and chucked out.
  • If said person was the “opener of bottles” then they duly passed on the message. Anyone else could die a grisly death if they opened the bottle.
  • If they didn’t immediately pass it on to Mr Stelvin, the Uncorker of Bottles, it was off with their tops!
  • If they picked it up,they got done for treason,since the message could be from enemies. Even if they were illiterate. The people, not the messages. [Or the enemies, I mean, how could an illiterate enemy write a message?]
  • If they were not the official “Uncorker of Ocean Bottles”, it was a case (no pun) of ‘off with their heads’
  • If you opened it you were executed but if you took it to the official “Uncorker of Bottles” then you got rewarded.
  • In 16th century England Queen Elizabeth I appointed an official “Uncorker of Ocean Bottles” making it a capital crime for anyone else to open the bottles. This severe punishment was seen as necessary as it assumed that some might contain secret messages from spies as well as from the British fleet who sent messages about enemy positions ashore in bottles. Enemies were everywhere, evidently.
  • In 16th century England Queen Elizabeth I appointed an official “Uncorker of OceanBottles” making it a capital crime for anyone else to open the bottles. well you see, apparently the queen was worried about spies and shit — like anyone cares about england
  • It depends, if they opened it, they could be hanged! In Queen Elizabeth’s reign an official Uncorker of Ocean Bottles was appointed. This followed the discovery by a Dover fisherman of an important political secret, which had come bobbing across the ocean in a bottle. For long after, any unauthorised person opening a bottle message stood a fair chance of being hanged.
  • Nothing if they didn’t open it. The unfortunate outcome of death if they did.
  • Nothing, unless they opened them. Then they were humanely euthanised.
  • Nothing. They didn’t disappear in a puff of greasy smoke, nor did bells ring and lights flash. However, if they “*opened*” the bottle instead of handing it to the “Uncorker of Ocean Bottles” they were liable to be executed as it was a capital offence
  • Off with their heads! Unless they were the official ‘uncorker of ocean messages’
  • Queen Elizabeth I received messages in bottles from her fleet during hostilities with the Spanish. The messages were so important a special ‘opener’ was employed, called the “Uncorker of Bottles”. After this job was created, it was illegal for anyone else to open any bottle they found on the beach. This was punishable by death.
  • The bottle was not to be opened by anyone other than her official bottle opener on pain of death.
  • The same thing that happens now, bugger all.
  • they ate rabbit poo
  • They continued to live their pathetically short human lives. Depending on their actions, their pathetically short human lives may or may not have become shorter.
  • They faced the death penalty, because QE1 had created the official position of Uncorker of Ocean Bottles. This was due to the English Navy using bottles to send information on enemey positions
  • They had to give it to the “Un-corker of Ocean Bottles” or face capital punishment
  • They probably smashed it rather than pick it up. Liz the One was a bit barmy about those sorts of things… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Message_in_a_bottle
  • They were expected to pass the message to the official Uncorker of Ocean Bottles, and faced penalty of death if they opened it themselves.
  • They were forced to comply immediately with the instructions in the bottle, often with hilarious results.
  • Unless you were the official “Uncorker of Bottles” she knocked your block off.
  • Wasn’t there some guy who was mapping the ocean currents at that time? So you had to give up the note in the bottle and then recycle the bottle by giving it to the Queen filled with beer. [But how would you find out the right times i.e. when she was drunk?]
  • Well I wouldn’t call those things in England beaches, more like a place where rocks gather. But anyway, the bottle, well you see, no one could read so they went to the local priest to get it read and the priest told them it was another one of those “chain letters” and secretly went out later on and got the treasure so priests in those days cleaned up. As for the person who found the bottle, they wished they hadn’t – let’s just leave it at that.

Question 2

Before King George II gifted the building to Sir Robert Walpole in 1732, who was the last private resident of the house at 10 Downing Street?

Answer

A certain Mr Chicken, and it was 5 Downing Street until 1779

Additional Answers

  • “The last private resident of Downing’s terrace was one Mr Chicken. Little is known about him except that he moved out in the early 1730’s “http://www.number-10.gov.uk/output/Page178.asp Chicken Little! Ha ha ha! Ha ha… Ha. I’ll get my hat…
  • Count Bothmar, envoy from Hanover and advisor to George I and II was the last private resident
  • ’twas Gordon Beige, ancestor of the current pommy PM (who, incidentally, changed his name but unfortunately not his policies from Beige to Brown).
  • A bloke by the name of Sir Bob Rofcage. You see The King ordered all the men throughout the land to decide which was the better, most sensual, entertaining dancer. I suppose we got the answer; not that I necessarily agree with it. Anyway, he got the house and then the king reclaimed it after a bad experience- or so she said anyway!
  • A squatter bum. You see, the King couldn’t get rid of this bum as once you squatt a house for 12 months it’s yours after the king realised that he was never going to shift the bum from the place he decided that as long as a bum was going to live at 10 Downing street the people of england may as well decide who the bum was going to be, and so he made it the PM’s residence
  • Checked Wikipedia twice:Once it said , Johann Caspar von Bothmar and once it said Sherlock Holmes. I’ll have to check back tomorrow to see which is the preferred edit.
  • Count Bothmar, who complained about the rubbish state of the premises.
  • Depending on how you define “private resident”, Johann Caspar von Bothmar, Count Bothmar or else the Earl of Grantham
  • Gwouldithen Schrymtchardwythflth, Esqq.
  • Hillary Clinton
  • It was technically two houses back then. Regardless, I’d have to say Johann Caspar von Bothmar sounds like the most likely suspect.
  • Johann Caspar von Bothmar, who died complaining bitterly about the ruinous condition of his back passage.
  • Johann Casper von Bothmar(Count Bothmar)to 1773 or when first built it was the Cockpit lodgings for the Cock fighting ring that operated there
  • Mr Chicken
  • Mr Chicken, little, is known about him though. I did hear that he needed a bit of buttering up to agree to the handover, and when Sir Bob was moving in mr chicken copped a roasting because he was carrying on like an old boiler
  • Mr Chicken.
  • Mr Chicken. Can’t be his real name surely, I mean who (besides a sock puppet) would be called Mr Chicken??? pfft
  • Mr. Chicken
  • Oscar
  • Private Downing, of his majesty’s Coldstream Guards.
  • Resident? Hmm, good question, probably Count Bothmar, it was appinted for his use [=beer was provided?] and repairs were authorised. It isn’t clear if he lived there, he probably did so then it was him, if not the prior residents were Lord and Lady Overkirk.
  • Some old widow who didn’t even get compensation for this dispossession. Typical British Govt action. Just witness what they didn’t do for the inhabitants of Diego Garcia.
  • Some rats. Nothing much has changed.
  • Someone with a bloody stupid name.
  • That would have been Johann Caspar von Bothmar the Hanoverian envoy. He whined and complained about the place being in bad repair. Did you know that is was once known as the cockpit and that Walpole’s neighbour was a Mr Chicken. Now there’s some truly useless information for you.
  • The last private owners were Lord and Lady Overkirk. On their death in 1720 it was resumed by the Crown and appointed as the residence of Johann Caspar von Bothmar, Count Bothmar, envoy from Hanover and advisor to George I and II.
  • The last private resident of the house at 10 Downing Street was a Mr Chicken. There is little information about him, although it is known that he moved out in the early 1730s.
  • This appeared on a TV show that I researched, and he was called Mr Chicken.
  • Your question is important to me and I will answer it at the next available opportunity.

Question 3

Who is, or was, the longest-serving leader of a British political party?

Answer

Screaming Lord Sutch – leader of the Monster Raving Loony Party, 1983-1999

Additional Answers

  • “The maverick politician Screaming Lord Sutch became Britain’s longest serving party leader after launching the Monster Raving Loonies in 1963” http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/371216.stm Seems his backers thought a lot more of him than backers of the leaders of other political parties did of them…
  • Ah, the man immortalised by Python’s Very Silly Party, yet who said there should be more than one Monopolies Commission: Screaming Lord Sutch
  • Borat
  • Clement Atlee 1935-55
  • David Edward “Screaming Lord Sutch” Sutch
  • Dennis Delderfield, of the New Britain Party
  • Devious question here. Longest serving PARTY leader (not necessarily Prime Minister (Gladstone). I’ll take a stab and assume it was the 14th Earl of Derby who wore that hat (sorry) for 24 years as leader of the Conservatives.
  • I’m going to go with Oswald Mosley because then I can claim a Hitler reference. Everyone drink. [Whoa, hold it! Wait a minute! Wait for q4!!]
  • Lord Derby was the first British statesman to become prime minister three times. He remains the longest serving party leader in modern British politics, heading the Conservative party for twenty-two years from 1846 to 1868.
  • Neil Kinnock was the longest-serving leader of a British political party. He served as the leader of the Labour Party from 1983 to 1992.
  • Satan
  • Screaming Lord Sutch
  • Screaming Lord Sutch formed his first party, the “Sod ‘Em All” party in 1961. After various name changes he finally settled on the “Official Monster Raving Loony Party” in 1983. Each word was carefully chosen, eg Official – No other party in Britain had the word ‘official’ in its name, so all the other parties were unofficial. Sounds just fine to me.
  • Screaming Lord Sutch, of the Monster Raving Loonie Party. Also possibly the least successful candidate.
  • Screaming Lord Sutch.
  • Sir Winston McAttlee-Wilson, I believe. Or Ian Paisley. [- so you don’t believe Ian Paisley?]
  • Something tells me that Cat Mandu is still officially the leader of the OMRLP, but perhaps not. If not, Lord Sutch was there for so long, I bet it’s him.
  • Thatcher. DAMN YOU, THATCHER!!!
  • The 14th Earl of Derby, BUT (and I think this more Dr Bob-ish and seeing as there is reference to him further down) Screaming Lord Sutch was mentioned elsewhere. [ yes Sutchie it is]
  • The 3rd Earl of Harrow, Mr S.L. Sutch esq., leader of the OMRLP from 1983 until he hung up his boots in 1999.
  • the spice girls.
  • Well it certainly wasn’t John Howard, was it?
  • well, going on the question above I am gonna say sir bob, but really, is that claim to fame? I dont really think so, I could also answer that it could be trusty old captain smithy. I change that now to David Sutch. Thats my final answer
  • Well, y’see it was either billy bob or billy joe
  • William Ewart Gladstone
  • Winston Churchill, of the Conservative Party.
  • You know, you can find all this stuff out from Google. [Yes I know. But I get it mostly from books and my travels. Lately I’ve found good material in Wikipedia, deep down in the articles, then I have to censor/alter it so you can’t look it up]

Question 4

How might the town of Bridgnorth, Shropshire have featured more prominently in British politics?

Answer

Favoured by some German bloke to become the administration base for a Nazi-governed Britain

Additional Answers

  • A Hitler question! Hoorah! “Some experts now believe that it was Hitler’s intention to make Bridgnorth the German headquarters in Britain, due to its central position in the UK, rural location, rail connections and now-disused airfield “http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridgnorth This describes the new T5 at Heathrow perfectly!
  • All I know about Bridgnorth is thatit used to be the largest inland port in England. Doubt that’s what you want.
  • Apples are nice with cream
  • At last! A Hitler question! It is rumoured that Adolf Hitler had plans to make it the Nazi HQ in England following a successful invasion circa 1940
  • Being renamed “Polieville” but who would want to live there?
  • Bridgnorth is quite central to England. It is only natural that it would provide a crucial sector in British politics. Plus, Hitler was interested in taking it. That says something. [Yes. Disappointment 🙂 ]
  • By having something noteworthy happen there, instead of being so wretchedly boring that half the population fled to Bridgsouth as soon as they left high school.
  • By not losing the castle to the roundheads.
  • By sending the Queen a Christmas card more often
  • Could have become German headquarters in England if Hitler’s Operation Sealion had been carried out and had been successful.
  • Gay parade every fortnight.
  • Ha ha! Sneaky Hitler question. It was going to be Nazi HQ in England.
  • Hitler had planned to make it his headquarters in the UK
  • Hitler question! Everyone drink.
  • If Hitler had managed to invade the UK, he planned on making Bridgnorth the German headquarters in Britain due to its central position, rural location, good train and air facilities
  • If it had had a more ridiculous name, like Brideshead?
  • If it worked a bit harder and was a bit more committed it just might have gone somewhere. But as it turned out it never did any good at skool, always went out on the cans and partied hard. So, as this town has learn’t, no-on remembers the year that he was cool.
  • if only the… err, I don’t know.
  • In 2005, German papers from 1941 were discovered outlining a possible Nazi invasion of the United Kingdom. Some experts believe that it was Hitler’s intention to make Bridgnorth his HQ in Britain, due to its central, but rural, location and its now disused airfield.
  • It could have been the capital – the original King Arthur (Artur) is said to have hailed from Bridgnorth.
  • It could have featured goose-stepping British MPs, with their bowler hats, umbrellas over their left arm and right arms raised in the nazi salute, had Hitler’s dreams come true.
  • It may well have been the capital of Gross Britannien had operation Sealion been successfully implemented.
  • It might have done any number of things, if it wanted to. But it probably didn’t want to.
  • It vas ze Headqvarters for ze Nazis in ze var numbering two. [Ach so Kathy mein liebchen, zis is so RIGHT!  Like us, ja?]
  • It would have been the home of the houses of parliament if it hadn’t had such a bloody stupid name.
  • It would have been the seat of German governance if the Nazis had their way
  • Some experts now believe that it was Hitler’s intention to make Bridgnorth the German headquarters in Britain, due to its central position in the UK, rural location, rail connections and now-disused airfield
  • Well, the unlucky sister city of Swimsouth, should have taken a couple of bigger hits, like an A bomb, H Bomb or even getting crap bombed out of it by the krauts in the early 40s, but instead it just whimped it out with a few petrol bombs in the local brothel, and now it want to be more famous well too bad, it to just deal with the fact that its a wimp
  • Well, you see there was one potential guest that really no town wanted visiting– a bit like the mother in law, but much worse. Ok, a little (no, not chicken) worse. Anyway– if poor old evil uncle Al had had his way, who knows?

Question 5

Why was the perennial parliamentary candidate Screaming Lord Sutch refused permission to change his name to “Mrs Thatcher”?

Answer

It might have caused confusion if he actually got elected

Additional Answers

  • “Once, he said, he had tried to change his name to Mrs Thatcher, but was told it would be too confusing when he got to the Commons” http://elvispelvis.com/lordsutch.htm Confusing? Who for? I can just hear the Speaker giving the floor to “The Honourable Member for Phtang phtang phtang ole biscuit-barrel! Mrs Thatcher” and everyone thinking it was Maggie. On second thoughts, he had a point…
  • Allegedly on the grounds that it might cause confusion if he did make it to the House of Commons.
  • Apparently it could have caused confusion had he been elected to the house of the commoner. Well, the bloke stands 44 f’ing times and he never gets in, what were they thinking would happen??? a bloddy miracle?. Well I never saw anyone down on their knees praying like a demon so what the hell were they worried about??? But, I have to say of his last written words, oh how true, his actions though how sad
  • Because he was no lady
  • Because baggage handlers at airports were afraid he’d get the PM’s luggage.
  • because he was a guy and the question cleary states he was a man
  • Because his balls were deemed to be below an acceptable size to join that club
  • Because it would be too confusing when he got to the House of Commons.
  • Because it would have caused someone to climb to the top of big ben with an AK47 AKA Kalashnikov, sit on the big hand of the clock thus stopping the clock, and shooting people up thus causing the judge to sentence him/her to fry and when they test the chair power fails at buckingher palace thus causing the queen to not notice someone creeping around in her bedroom. If that wasnt the reason then they decided that there can never be another mrs thatcher in our lifetime
  • Because they already bloody had one Mrs Thatcher, he was a boy, and his hair was just all wrong, plus it would have gotten a bit confusing, I imagine, having two Mrs Thatchers.
  • Confusion on the ballot papers, should he get to a point where he was leading a party that could contest for the control of the parliament
  • For the perfectly sensible reason that it might cause confusion if he were elected. He would be very difficult to distinguish from the other Mrs Thatcher. This is why all sensible countries have introduced laws to prohibit anyone standing for election if they have a namesake already in parliament.
  • He was no woman.
  • He was told it would be too confusing if he got to the House of Commons. He ran for Parliament about 40 times but never gained more than 1000 votes.
  • He was told it would be too confusing when he got elected to the House of Commons. As if people might confuse someone with buffalo horns on their head, a lavatory seat around their neck, and their hair on fire with Maggie Thatcher. (although, on further reflection…)
  • He was told it would be too confusing when he got to the House of Commons
  • His screaming gave the judge a headache. How the hell else would he get a bloody stupid name like that? Also, he was a man.
  • I don’t know, but thanks for asking.
  • I think this question really answers itself, doesn’t it?
  • I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure another candidate did run as “john Major”, so presumably it is because he isn’t a “Mrs”
  • It would be too confusing if he made it to the House of Commons.
  • Lest the electors of Finchley be confused as to who was the real Mrs Thatcher.
  • Not mannish enough, all that screaming was a bit feminine unlike Mrs. Thatcher.
  • She was a living person & there was no first name given
  • Supposedly on the grounds that it might cause confusion if he finally was elected to the House of Commons. Also, he wasn’t married to someone called Denis and what hair he had left could not be swept up into a bouffant, so he couldn’t possibly be Mrs Thatcher
  • This can only be done post op.
  • Two reasons: 1. The name was already taken, and 2. The extant Maggie had bigger balls than did the applicant.
  • You cant have 2 Mrs Thatchers on the same poll
  • There already was a Mrs. Thatcher who was in the Official Monster Raving Loony Group.

Question 6

Although these are not exactly in Britain, two of these volcanoes are called Aryk and Korijakski – what is the name of the third one?

Answer

A’ag

Additional Answers

  • “47”. The locals tired of using the full names – too hard to pronounce – so abbreviated them to “A”, “K” and, of course, “47”.
  • Aag
  • Aah! I exclaimed when I saw the give way markings on the wrong side of the road. It’s not in Britain! A tiny petulant voice in my mind said NO, it’s “Aag”, or “Aak”, but I don’t know what that meant.
  • Assuming you mean Avachinsky (though I don’t know where Aryk comes from) and Koryaksky (Koryaksky–Korijakski… that ones obvious), the third would be Kozelsky.
  • Avachinsky
  • Belinda Neal.
  • Cant name the third one cause i cant even find the first two. Google has failed me or your spelling is crook! [The spelling is deliberately wrong so you can’t Google on it and get straight to the picture]
  • Cotapaxi should do the trick, if not, poppacattapetal
  • Have you done a Bolton question yet? Maybe this is the one?
  • I can’t spell it – it’s in Cyrillic on my map. They are in Kazakhstan, that’s all you need to know. Move on.
  • I have no idea!
  • Kilimanjaro, which is not a bloody stupid name.
  • Kozelski.
  • Kozelsky – I meant Kozelsky. Presume Aryk is a nickname for Avachinsky. [No, Aryk is a deliberate mis-spelling of Arik (likewise mis-spelled “koryakski”) because if I spelt these right you could Google the answer …. oh damn, now I’ll have to kill you … and as you die, you’ll say the answer ….]
  • left right out. thats how it feels anyway, bob, you could have named him and asked a question about the mountains but now he is too shy to be named
  • Lenin. Must be Russia. Isn’t it?
  • Lets see – there’s Aag, Arik (Aryk), Korjakskij (Korijakski), Avachinskaja and Kozelskij in this range, so I guess the third one is Avachinskaja (Avachinsky).
  • Mount Keumgang
  • Mt. Bluish Indigo With A Tinge Of Grey And A Bit Of White On Top Cow.
  • noyellentooloud– you see this mountain was one that when someone spoke too loudly it caused an avalancey thingy and snow slidy downy the mountainy killing youey
  • Probably Aag, since it’s part of the Avacha-Korjakskij complex in Kamchatka. The hot springs in Nalychevo valley are good for taking a rest after climbs.
  • Sounds like an Iceland question: CHUG!!! (If it is not an Iceland question let me know and I’ll take a bong penalty). BTW the Volcano’s name is Fyershervillburnyuraszggurjoll which translates loosely as Steve.
  • The guppy
  • The only reference I could find to “Aryk” on Wikipedia was; sadly, in Russian. As my grasp on this language is a bit dusty I will guess the third one is called “Munku” because it sounds humourous.
  • This is tough Dr Bob, all that cloud in the way and all. I reckon the answer just might be Kozelsky, in the Kamchatka peninsula
  • Tyumen
  • Weirdname.
  • What third one? [The one behind the cloud] There is only two – Koryaksky (nice trick with the spelling Dr Bob you tricker you) and Avachinski. I cannot find mention of a third anywhere. Or on the other hand I have it totally arse about and have no bloody idea in that case. [Yup, totally arse about.  The pic shows two big ones and a tiddler on the left.  Avachinski is a third big one, out of the picture off to the right.  The left-hand biggie is correctly spelt Arik, yeah I had to change the spelling or people would just google it in.]
  • You should get your camera checked out, I can only see two snow covered mountains here, even if these two were volcanoes the heat would melt the snow silly
  • You should go to the toilet and it will tell you

Comments

  • 1. This quiz shows you to be an atheist. Are you an atheist? 2. You are not wellcome in my house ok. 3. You have weird hair growing out your ears. 4. I love my food and you don’t, do you. [Not your food, no. I prefer my own]
  • Dear Sir, I agree fully with your views on child pornography and would like to subscribe to your monthly pictorial magazine. Please send me my first copy, plus bonus gift, in an anonymous cardboard tube. Yours sincerely, Sir Humphrey Woblye-Bittes.
  • Do you know Dr Phil?
  • Either I’m getting smarter or Dr Bob is getting slacker with his questions? (cue smart retort from DB) but this weeks weren’t too bad – except for bloody Bridgport. You could at least have had a question about proper Shropshire lads like Darwin or Housman.
  • He was a bit of a handful that Lord Sutch hey? I think I would have liked him though. 🙂 […. and you could have found out why they called him “screaming” … but we don’t go there do we.]
  • Hi Dr B. I’d love to get a handle on the “message in a bottle” question – if you have a good source, please post it in your answers.
  • Hillarious has just conceded defeat in the US Dem primaries. Seems she now barracks for Obama.
  • How do you keep a n idiot in suspense? (Watch for the answer in next month’s comments).
  • I’m a bit worried about those volcanoes. I don’t think they’re in Iceland, and that worries me
  • I’m not making any lame political statements this month.
  • I’m quite astounded that I found answers for all of these. Of course, they may be completely incorrect…
  • I’ve tried to work “bloody stupid name” into all the questions, but it didn’t always work. Dr. Bob is not a bloody stupid name.
  • Interesting except the picture!
  • It’s the 2nd June and I’ve got to wait a month for the answers! Oh, the sleepless nights ahead.
  • mm, No need to go to google for this one, what a pushover these questions were!!
  • no comment
  • No more political questions, please.
  • Still waiting for your comments about your PM’s subservient behavior toward our “King George the Second.” [OK … if I am liable for Kevin Rudd’s behaviour then you are liable for GWB’s actions … nyah nyah]
  • Thanks for another fun-filled quiz Doc!
  • This sentence is false.
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