Answers for December 1999

The first WINNER of the current millennium (i.e. 1000 years after some other moment of time that had an arbitrary numerological significance) is

Fred Kelley

From Newton, Massachusetts, Outer Mongolia USA. Have a nice millennium, Fred – when it finally comes to you. Don’t worry, the Y2K bug here has had no effe


Question 1

Did Hitler ever get to see Chaplin’s film “The Great Dictator”?

Answer

On hearing of the film’s content he banned it everywhere under the Reich’s control. However Adolf held frequent private screenings of films for himself and his mates (as did Stalin), and he saw the film in this way twice.

The People Next Door Tell Us That You Think This is True:

  • Yeah! A Hitler question! Apparently no Nazis were harmed during the making of this film. So what’s all the furore about?
  • No, he thought it was a Whermact sexual health movie about male genital tubers.
  • Young Adolf used the movie as a goad – i.e. he would capture each of the surrounding countries in the hope that a cinema was playing “The Great Dictator” and he could sneak in incognito. This plan worked – but only for a while.
  • He must have seen it, or he would never have thought that a moustache like that was a good fashion statement.
  • He went to the cinema with Eva. They got a back row seat and, well, kids will be kids I suppose.
  • Hitler organised a private screening of “The Great Dictator” in the summer of 1937. Shortly afterwards, he had Chaplin shot as a possible rival for ‘Supervisor of the World.’ Chaplin was replaced by Dustin Hoffman who is a 98-year-old testament to make-up and a monument to international appeasement.
  • I don’t know, but I saw him renting “Titanic” at the local video store.
  • I love 50/50 questions – I have a knack for getting the wrong 50. So: Yes. [Wrong – you’re right]
  • Yes of course – Hitler and Chaplin were one and the same person.
  • It was banned in Germany so Hitler had to sneak off to France or Belgium, shave off his mo, and sneak in to the movies with a bag of popcorn. He got fed up with this procedure – it was easier to invade instead.
  • It’s unlikely he ever saw the film … in any case, as this satirical film depicted Hitler as a buffoon, I think it even less likely that he would have sat through the whole thing. [But he did – probably foaming at the mouth]
  • No – he was distracted by that other famous satirical biopic, “Triumph of the Dill” (directed by Riefenstahl’s kid brother, Lenny.)
  • No, because he got fidgety waiting in queues, and he hated the smell of popcorn.
  • No, Hitler thought the prices at the cinema lolly shop were too steep and besides, last time he went to the cinema the doorman kicked him out. He got a bit carried away, instead of rolling Jaffas down the aisle he ordered the tanks to roll down the isle.
  • No, some woman with tall hair sat right in front of him. Tsk! Typical!
  • No, the plot was too complex for him to follow.
  • No. The young Adolf could only see the movie by getting a copy smuggled into Germany through Portugal. Unfortunately, he and Eva had back-row seats in the cinema and they were heavily into the snogging even before the newsreel had finished, so he never actually SAW the movie.
  • No. He meant to, but it seemed every Tuesday night he was bombing something or invading someone and he refused to pay full price to go and see some shitty Hollywood film that was an insult to his intelligence (literally). Before he knew it the cinema run ended and he didn’t think it would translate well onto video.
  • This is a 50/50 question, isn’t it? Who cares what the upshot of it is, you just want to know if one silly bugger saw another silly bugger’s film. Better odds than roulette, though. OK, here goes. YES. Or NO. Take your pick. [Ha! Ha! Double-zero. Rien ne va plus. New balls please]
  • Yes, and he failed to get the point. Thought it was a bit bewildering and ein hoot, ja?
  • Yes, he did. He liked it so much, he stayed for a second showing. Someone overheard him say as he was leaving, “That’s what I want to do! Be just like that!” And he did, he was.

Question 2

Which President of the United States is depicted on the American 1-cent coin?

Answer

Abraham Lincoln

Un-American Answers

  • The sixteenth President Abraham Lincoln. [No – they’ve only had one so far. Sadly, I find it very hard to imagine fifteen further Presidents of the calibre of Mr Lincoln]
  • Quote: If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? – Lincoln
  • I wonder if all the hat fitted in.
  • It’s the only U.S coin that shows the profile of a president facing to the right. He’s now sick of the view.
  • Abraham Lincoln. Can’t think of any jokes about this.
  • I don’t know, but it’s pretty nimble of that particular president to balance himself on the coin long enough for his picture to be taken.
  • It’s Abe Lincoln, honest it is.
  • Well, technically speaking, he isn’t a US president any more. He’s more like a pile of disassociated chemicals, including sulphurous gases…but you didn’t want to know that, right?
  • Lincoln. When you give him a penny for his thoughts there is a conveniently placed hole in his head so you can see them directly.
  • None. Although the band has made a fair impression in the global independent music scene, they don’t have the mainstream appeal in the US that could lead to one of their number being commemorated on a standard-issue coin. One of the band members (who wished to remain anonymous) was quoted as saying “I would be removed IN ALL COIN if it was my head on there – after all, it wouldn’t LOOK THE SAME WAY”.
  • One of the dead ones
  • President Zeppo – a little-known president who served only two days before assassinating himself in a theatre in Dallas near a book depository on a grassy knoll.
  • Ronald Reagan. He saw himself as the world’s policeman, so what better to commemorate him than a low value copper?
  • The early cents (1859-1909) had a picture of a native Indian on one side and ‘One Cent’ stamped on the other (see pictures at; http://www.pennies.org/history/one.html). Perhaps you mean the later inferior (according to the best numismatics) cents that have Lincoln on them.
  • The one with the goatee who never told a lie and walked 10 miles to return one penny to the man whose cherry tree he chopped down. I’m not sure about the goatee, though.
  • The original 1 cent coin minted in 1793 had the head of the goddess Liberty on it. 36,103 of them were minted. Lincoln is on most of the rest (the treasury destroying unrecognisable, defaced, or worn coins as they are returned to it), with the text “Liberty”, and “In God We Trust”. Interestingly, only 40 (approx) of these were minted in 1943 from copper (the rest were zinc coated steel). The current penny has the likeness of Lincoln on the obverse side. (Lincoln is actually a past president, but in keeping with US tradition, ex-presidents are still called Mr. President)
  • The other one. You know, the one with the hair.
  • The penny. That would be Abraham Lincoln. I read somewhere, some contest, I think, that this is the only American coin that shows the right side of the face. The reason for this, is that the other side has a bullet hole in it.
  • Who really cares 1-cent coins a obsolete anyway [like punctuation and the optional longer form of the word “are”]

Question 3

On which side of the road do they drive in Japan?

Answer

Left

Additional Answers

  • Both sides. To not allow vehicles to drive on both sides of a road would not only be a waste of the resources used to build one or the other sides, but would be dangerous (cars travelling in both directions would be confined to half the available space) even if Japanese drivers were to retain their current practise of keeping oncoming traffic to their right.
  • Both sides (due to overtaking, corners, driveways, shrines, immovable samurai, etc).
  • If on a sealed road, the bitumen side. Useless fact; when spelt phonetically, “ESSO” means “stalled car” in Japanese …
  • The reft side of the road.
  • Japan is a nation of fatalists. It doesn’t really matter.
  • Left side, if you’re lucky.
  • The left. How else could New Zealanders buy “Jap imports”?
  • The left. So, allegedly, do we.
  • The same as Australia. This is one of the few things that they didn’t copy the Americans. But how come the Americans copied the Communist Chinese on this one???
  • The same side as the aussies ie the left side which is the right side!
  • The side that causes them the least amount of grief.
  • The side where the ichiban is located, right under the konichiwa, but not too close to the bonsai.
  • The top side.
  • The web-cam showing a street in Sapporo, Hokkaido Island has them driving on the left. But I reckon they always swap to the other side at night just to fool people looking in on web-cams.
  • They usually drive on the top of the road, the flat part, not the side. I tried driving on the side last summer and did a lot of damage to my car. It’s hard to drive on the side of the road.
  • Right of centre.

Question 4

The planet Saturn is 120,000 km diameter – how thick are its rings?

Answer

Yes, and how beautiful in appearance.

Astronomically Accurate Answer

In 1999 they were believed to be 10 km thick, but now in 2012 the estimate is 20 m – yes 20 METRES

Astronomically Approximate Answers

  • Twice as thick as Hitler’s moustache
  • As thick as a brick shithouse
  • Best IQ reading so far was 12. This ranks the rings of Saturn on par with a box of hammers with no hammers in it, and well above the IQ of anyone who thinks any creationist “research scientist” is credible.
  • Darn thick. Thickest rings in the solar system. We’re talking seriously THICK here. But do you mean top to bottom, or inside to outside? Either way, they are still f’kin’ THICK!
  • I found so many answers to this one. One said the B ring was 1.1 km thick. Another said they were all under 200 metres. Yet another said something entirely different. The alien that abducts me said to go with the 200 m.
  • I thought the rings were ok, but the fries were really dumb. What made you think the rings were slow? By the way, what does this have to do with Saturn being 120000 km around? Put an onion ring around that and you’ld have some ring, huh? My Saturn, the one I crashed last summer, doesnt have any rings, outside, at least.
  • It is obvious that Saturn’s rings are not very thick at all. If they were thick, they could be seen with the naked eye and they can’t. Therefore they are as thin as anything. Any fool knows that. Really, really thin and that.
  • Much thicker than two planks of wood, specifically 1.5km, which is pretty thin considering they stretch about 190,000 km from the edge of the planet.
  • Not very thick, actually, but there’s lots of them. (Saturn gets a new ring each year, of course, so now must have some 4.6 billion of the things.)
  • One of them is so stupid it has rocks in its orbit, another is a game show host and a third is a fraction.
  • Really thick. Have you ever asked them a question? Actually the various rings have different thicknesses. The B and A rings are between 100m and 1Km in thickness. The G ring is between 100Km and 1000Km in thickness, and the E ring is about 15000Km in thickness [width]
  • Saturn’s rings are extraordinarily thin: though they’re 250,000 km or more in diameter, they’re no more than 200 meters thick. Useless fact 1; Saturn has a density lower than water (around 0.7) so if there was a bathtub of water large enough to hold it, Saturn would float [and freeze the water]. Useless fact 2; driving at 150 kph, it would take 258 days to drive around one of Saturn’s rings.
  • The distance that it takes a Japanese driver to brake and stop on an American penny (approximately 200 metres)
  • The largest ring is 10 km wide
  • The same length as a creationists yellow streak at an evolution convention (about a kilometer)
  • Very. They could have formed around a nice warm planet with good views, but these dummies chose a big, bland, cold planet to hang around. I just don’t understand what the attraction is! (But I think it is a matter of some gravity.)
  • Well, I have some new information on this. I gave the rings of Saturn an IQ test and they were very thick indeed, not a single correct answer on Raven’s Progressive Matrices or the Stanford-Binet scale.
  • Well, they wouldn’t win this trivia quiz, that’s for certain, but I hope that isn’t a particular sign of low intelligence, because then I… Oh! You mean physically? Oh well, in that case, about this thick *holds hands apart*

Ve Ask All Ze Qvestions!

  • How many indelicate answers are you going to get for this one?
  • How thick do you want them to be? Is this individually or all together?
  • Why didn’t you ask about the rings of Uranus…much more fun?
  • The local religious types of Rome in the time of Galileo thought that he was seeing artefacts created within the telescope. So I’m going to fall back on the same arguments now…. Rings? What rings?

Ha! Ha!

  • They are actually quite clever. (I bet NO-ONE will give you this answer!) [Bongg, thank you for playing]

Question 5

Which (if any) of the murder weapons are shown on the Cluedo box lid? (Revolver, lead pipe, rope, candlestick, shifting spanner, dagger)

What’s in the Little Brown Envelope

Well Dr Bob’s is the © 1983 Waddingtons board game, licensed to Parker Brothers, printed in NZ. And the lid shows only the candlestick, held by a servant. I thought this was very proper, since none of the other objects could reasonably be present in a bourgeois sitting room.

I Suspect Paul Bello, Under the Eiffel Tower, with Bicycle, Striped T-Shirt, Beret, and Bunches of Onions

  • Aie! Which box lid in particular?! The original Cluedo box lid released in 1949 had none of the weapons featured but had all the characters in the library pictured (see http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Chasm/9098/boardgame.html). Then updated versions were released for 1956, 1963, 1972, 1986, 1992 and 1996 (see http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Chasm/9098/boardgame.html). Not to mention that there were different box lids depending on the country of release (UK, FR, DE, IT, SP, SWE, BE, HO, AUS, US, PO, SC). For example, on the Swedish Cluedo version, only the weapons are present (see http://home.swipnet.se/game/eCluedo.htm) while an informant tells me that the current Australian Cluedo has the characters and all the weapons featured. Not to mention the box lids for the other Clue(US)/Cluedo products as you didn’t specify board game or otherwise. The US Clue box lid for the CD-ROM has the dagger (http://www.clue-mystery.com/clue/prod1.html) while the US limited gift edition, has the dagger and rope. Then there’s the different box lids for the editions of Cluedo Junior (none), the 50th anniversary pack (none), Cluedo Travel (none), Cluedo, The Movie (VHS, no weapons), Card Game (revolver) Scooby Doo Cluedo (no weapons), Pocket Cluedo, etc., etc., (see http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Realm/2995/index.html) which I didnt get time to look into.

I Suspect Steve Hodges, in Perth, with “Fire Chief” Helmet and Garden Hose

  • Hmmm, which Cluedo box? Boardgames (Original Cluedo, Pocket Cluedo, Travel Cluedo, Super Cluedo Challenge, Cluedo Master Detective, Cluedo Super Sleuth, Junior Cluedo, Clue Junior, Clue: The Great Museum Caper, Clue: The Collector’s Edition, Clue Limited Gift Edition, Cluedo 50th Anniversary Edition, Clue Alfred Hitchcock Edition, Clue Scooby Doo Edition, Clue Jr. Mickey Mouse Edition, or even Cluedo “Death By Indulgence” – The After Dinner Mint Edition). Or could you be referring to Jigsaws & Card Games (Cluedo Jigsaws (Series 1), Cluedo Jigsaws (Series 2), Clue Mystery Puzzles (American Jigsaws), or the Cluedo Card Game). Perhaps you mean Computer Games (Cluedo Master Detective Computer Game, Cluedo CDi, Cluedo: The Mysteries Continue CDi, Cluedo CD Rom Computer Game, Cluedo: Murder at Blackwell Grange / Clue: Murder at Boddy Mansion Computer Game, E-m@il Games Cluedo, Cluedo Chronicles Episode 1: Fatal Illusion / The Fatal Masque, Clue Jr. CD Rom, or perhaps the Super NES Clue). Maybe even Books (which might come in a box) (Cluedo Detect-It-Yourself Mysteries, Clue books, or even Clue The Movie Storybook). Perhaps you meant Entertainment – Videos of these almost certainly come in a box (Clue VCR Mystery Game, Clue: Murder In Disguise VCR Game, British Cluedo Television Series, Australian Television Series, Clue – The Movie, or even Clue – The Musical). Personally, I prefer the limited gift edition which has the dagger and the rope on the uppermost face of the box.

Mrs White, with the Flame Thrower, in the Dunny

  • All of them…I’ve really no idea… it’s not very skeptical to have a guess is it?
  • All but the shifting spanner which is sometimes there, sometimes at other places. *Shrug*
  • All of them, plus a choke-pear. The choke-pear is used if you just want to extort some money, but don’t want to kill anyone.
  • All of the above, plus the atom bomb, AIDS virus, chainsaw, pointed stick, sabre tooth tiger and Mercedes with drunk driver and no seat belts.
  • One (since only one is THE murder weapon).
  • “Cluedo” is so murderously negative for today’s sensitive kiddies … I prefer the new game, “Cluedon’t”, which celebrates saving life (E.g. Doctor Mustard in the Operating Theatre with the Defibrillator; or Health Professional Plum in the Ambulance with the Sphygmomanometer.) So much nicer.
  • By definition, a murder weapon is something that has killed someone. If no-one is dead, then there are no murder weapons. And really, you would think that SOMEONE would have noticed the lifeless corpse SOMEWHERE, rather than “there is a dead body secreted somewhere on the premises, guess what made it that way?”
  • Depends on the year of production. The latest version shows a revolver in a dog’s mouth, a man holding a piece of lead pipe and a candlestick. My friendly sales assistant tells me that her earlier version has a completely different cover.
  • I cannot speak for earlier versions of Cluedo, but on the box lid for the 1999 version, which I bought my wife for Christmas, only the revolver appears.
  • I haven’t a Cluedo.
  • If I had a copy of the game in front of me I could answer this, but I don’t so I can’t.
  • It seems that some things have changed since the first edition of Cluedo was sold. In those gentler times, to feature something as uncouth as a potential murder weapon on the cover of a board game would have been committing marketing suicide. The pillars of society would have been shocked. Today you can’t sell a board game to young boys (the major buyers/intended recipients of these types of games) without blood and gore on the cover – and the promise of more within. This is called progress.
  • It’s in the cupboard somewhere, I’m sure. My false memory regression (which apparently would stand up in court) says all weapons are on the cover. My girl-friend, with whom I share a credit card, refused to let me in a toy store to check.
  • Magnifying glass (actually dropped as a murder weapon during the final development, due to the difficulty in getting the victim to stand still long enough to catch fire)
  • Miss Scarlet’s sneer – could kill anyone at 20 paces.
  • None of the murder weapons, unless you count the possibility of being battered to death by a large magnifying glass. And MY Cluedo game didn’t have a SHIFTING spanner, it had an ordinary CRESCENT spanner. I’m jealous.
  • None of them are burning! Erm…..Did you say lit?
  • None of them, as they are unnecessary. The heavy cardboard box is quite sufficient to kill the person in front of you who has 16 items in the 8-or-less lane
  • Oh good grief. It depends on which issue of the game you’re talking about. Last time I looked they were all disturbing little cardboard heads on top of coloured player pieces.
  • Since you are a chemist, Dr Bob, the answer is probably the arsenic, or some highly complex and toxic compound like 2-4 toluene di-isocyanate.
  • The chainsaw.
  • The falling safe, the incriminating answering machine with a little tape thingy in it, and the crossbow shooting a bolt (or quarrel) made of ice. Which reminds me, one day I MUST learn how to play this game.
  • They all are, except the spanner was not a shifter. Wasn’t it a normal double ended spanner?
  • They were all shown around the side of the box lid on the game I had 45 years ago. Bet you can’t prove they weren’t.
  • A board I’ve seen in Sweden has all 6 weapons shown [Well everyone says that the Swedes are such psychopaths – I should know, I am married to one … Oh hello dear]

I Accuse Professor Plum, in the Garden Shed, with the Rev. Green

  • Dr Bob, you dear soul. You must be older than you look. Do you read old Beano comics too? [Yes I do, and I was a member of the learned Beano Appreciation Society at my uni. I saw the other day that somebody was denied the grant of a patent because the invention had been depicted in Dennis the Menace – what a funny old world we live in]

Pre-Millenial Comments

  • Best wishes to all for the pre-Armageddon celebrations. See you all in hell!!
  • Despite the fact that 25 December is actually a pagan anniversary of some sort subsumed by the early Christian church, and not actually that of Christ’s birth; I wish you the compliments of the season, Dr Bob!
  • For you Dr. Bob… a. coments b. komments c. commense d. kharmenz. Give my regards to the quiz [Certainly – Quiz, consider yourself regarded by Mr Tony Eales. Here’s lookin’ at ya, quiz.]
  • Have I missed something – seemed like easier questions than usual Dr Bob – are you running out? [No, it’s condensation on my boots]
  • Here is my optional comment. Thorny.
  • I didn’t waste time this time…… YAH! Once again obscure facts are very common. [Then how can they be obscure?]
  • I doubt you will read this as any sensible person should be down in their bunker waiting for the end of the world. If you are reading this then you will burn in the fires of hell for not reading your religious texts, Ma Shiptons Diary, Nostros scribbles and your tea leaves from breakfast.
  • I look forward to the questions next year (the year that the ignorant think is the first of the new millennium but we educated folk know is in fact the last year of the millennium). Happy Millennium.
  • I’ve killed more than one afternoon showing the quiz to friends. [Glad it was only the afternoon] We all think you should go back to the 22 question format so we can waste an entire week.
  • Jerusalem Artichoke… I dunno… It was meant to be a joke on Adam’s Apple, see? Sheesh. [Sheesh indeed … that one went right over the top of my poor little head. Aarghh!!]
  • Keep up the good work Dr Bob. Haven’t seen any questions on Mongolia for a while. [Go back there and look just outside the yak shed] Very sorry I couldn’t make it to the quiz night.
  • Never tire of your marvelous quiz, and the wonderfully intelligent and quirky responses. Consider my funnybone tickled again. Have a great festive season and new year!
  • Since when is a complex mathematical equation trivia?????? (last months hole in Earth question). Monash Uni calls that a science degree. Grrrr
  • This is hard yet again, obviously targeted at nerds instead of funky spunky cool worldly gals like me. >_< But I like other people’s answers!!! (Ok, so I am weird)
  • Well done good and faithful, keep up the magnum opus into the new millennium (ok, and next year too) and as of the 15th you owe me a beer.
  • Will you be holding a pre-millennium quiz in December 2000? [Yes if the Y2001 bug doesn’t prevent it]