Winner this month with the most accurate answers, not to mention the precise value for Q5 is, once again, our Aruban friend:
Which town hosts the World Championship for throwing dried cow pats?
- “When the chips are down” takes on a whole new meaning in Beaver, Oklahoma…
- Any town that can handle dowdiest crap* with good drying facilities, a decent bovine poo-disc calibration system, lots of surplus surgical gloves and a healthy reserve of air freshener.
- Beaver O where the cow wind comes sweeping down the plain methane GH gas
- Beaver Oklahoma – I suspect beaver pats are more difficult to obtain- otherwise we’d be having Beaver pat throwing competitions in Cow Creek Kansas.
- Beaver, Oklahoma
- Beaver, Oklahoma
- Beaver, Oklahoma
- Beaver, Oklahoma claims to be the Cow Chip Capital of the World
- Beaver, Oklahoma, Land of the Yanks
- Beaver, Oklahoma. It’s fair to say that a fair bit of bullshit emantes from Washington, too.
- Beaver, Oklahoma. These lamers should come to Samford Valley, Queensland, where, after many years of amateur competition, I am organising the World Championship for Manual Projection of Aqueous Bovine Excreta.
- Beaver, Colorado. Although as always with Americans they hold a World Championship and don’t invite any other countries.
- Beaverton, Oregon?(Didn’t google, just went with the theme.)
- Canberra – oh, no that’s wet cow pats. Not much else to do in Canberra of a weekend…
- Canberra. The politicians there provide plentiful supplies of the stuff.
- Dodge Center, Iowa
- I’m not completely sure, but having read through the whole exam paper, I’m guessing… a town called Beaver? And it has to be in the YouSay, because they’re the world champions at hurling shit around.
- Manly (that’s where the Beaver plays)
- May as well be this one.
- No idea, but it sounds like something either the Brits or us would do (maybe the Kiwis as well)
- OK, I Googled this. Thank you Dr Bob, I now know more about cow shit than I ever intended.
- Petersberg, Kentucky, USA, where Ken Ham’s creationism museum flings barrels of cow patties daily.
- Somewhere in Scotland
- Somewhere with a lot of cows. Rockhampton? [Phillip Island?]
- There’s such a championship?
- They throw ‘cow chips’ in Beaver… I believe that in Cow Chip, North Dakota they throw beavers…
- Who gives a shit? Oh wait, I guess they do. They give a lot of shits to the contestants.
Can beavers fell trees accurately?
Not really – there are instances of beavers being killed by the very tree they have felled
- Absolutely; beavers are just precision devices with unquestionable accuracy.
- As accurately as the incisors allow
- Did you here about the evil beaver matriarch? She was a damned dam dam.
- Having extensive experience in tree felling and forestry operations, I feel at home here. Most loggers can fell a tree accurately within an acceptable margin of error. Acceptable error meaning not causing danger to operators or damage to other timber/equipment. I do not believe that beavers understand these slightly abstract concepts. Come to think of it, I don’t believe that beavers fell trees either.
- If Darwin is right then inaccurate beavers would be selected against by nature (using the proxy of a tree to the head).If on the other hand the creationists are right than God would make the beavers perfect and thus accurate. By exhaustion of cases I’ve proven beavers accurate.
- Is the Pope a Nazi? [er, not any more; this is probably not a topic to raise in polite conversation in the tea rooms of the Vatican]
- It depends on whether the beaver had been drinking ethanol prior to attacking the tree; also on what you define as “accurately”.
- Mine can’t, well, at least I’m pretty sure mine can’t. I’ve never been quite that desperate.
- No, because they are usually distracted by violent anti-logging protesters in the process.
- No, but since trees around a beaver pond tend to lean toward the opening it doesn’t usually matter that they can’t. (until they get squashed)
- No, they splatter all over the place.
- No. specially when they’re not wearing their glasses
- No. They’re too short for ropes and ladders so it’s just pot luck. I wonder if they say oh shit when one lands badly?
- No…they are notoriously poor woodworkers and often will chew trees to the wrong length.
- Not completely, since one can frequently find beaver skeletons under felled trees. Timmmmberrr[splat]
- Of course. There has never been a tree felled inaccurately by a beaver. Whether beaver-felled trees come to the ground according to pre-determined linear expectations is another matter.
- Seriously Dr Bob, you do know what a “beaver” is don’t you?
- Sometimes yes,sometimes no. We all make mistakes from time to time. Beavers are only human,after all.
- That would depend on where the said beaver intended it to fall.
- The beaver is not very accurate when it comes to dropping a tree (beavers are sometimes found dead under fallen trees). Fortunately, trees around a beaver pond are heavier on the side facing the water (getting more sun).
- They can make them fall in the general direction they want it, but they’re not going to hit you between the eyes from 1km away with a tree.
- They claim they can.
- Well, let’s put it this way: They prefer to work where the prevailing winds blow towards the water. This increases the likelihood that the tree will fall towards the water. But let’s face it, without speaking Beaver, we can’t really be sure that’s an attempt at accuracy. Perhaps they just like a cool breeze while felling logs? Sounds like hot sweaty work to me. Now if we witnessed them getting a dumb beaver to stay in one spot and dropped a tree on his head, and followed that up with much laughter, I might be more persuaded.
- What do you mean by “accurately”? I wouldn’t be surprised if they can normally get within 45 degrees of their target
- Yes – for a given value of “accurately”. They are mostly capable of getting them from vertical-ish to horizontal enough, or the very first beavers would never have gotten past the whole “look, a gravity arch isn’t going to work if we can’t develop concrete and steel reinforcement, what about a crude sort of timber crib lash-up?” dilemma. (Unfortunately, beavers are unable to use complicated surveying equipment, due to a lack of opposable thumbs, although this anatomical deficiency does not stop aardvarks named Ethyl from doing so.)
- Yes, depending on what you define as accurate. They usually make 2 incisions, one below the other.
- Yes, they can according to my local arborist Castor Canadensis. Castor is a very intelligent and hardworking Tree Surgeon. He is always polite, happy to do the work cheaply. Although his method of tree felling while environmentally friendly is extremely off putting. No chainsaws and axes for him, no, young Castor gets stuck in with his teeth. An amazing set of choppers for a young man.
- Yes – they aim for the ground and succeed
What happens if you destroy a dam built by beavers?
Firstly, it’d be very hard work. Then, the beavers rebuild it, in about 1 day
- If you destroy the dam without eliminating the beaver they will rebuild, often starting the same day. When considering removing a dam that has been in place for more then a few years, you should be aware of the potential to violate a number of laws and liabilities. But you could call the officials dam liars (see Q4).
- $3000 damages fine.
- A beaver SWAT team will attack your home and gnaw all your wooden pieces into chips!
- Any damage to a beaver dam that affects the flow of water or creates vibrations will cause the beaver to file a Homeowner’s Insurance claim and rebuild. If the dam is completely destroyed, odds are, they will rebuild. If it is completely destroyed with the beavers inside, eventually, other beavers will come along and build there. Tenacious little buggers…
- Beavers attack you in the night when you least expect it.
- I would get dirty, wet and tired and I would retain bragging rights among environmentally challenged Canadians. The beavers, unperturbed, would repair or rebuild.
- It floods and they rebuild it
- It is usually rebuilt/repaired
- Ok, you’re just being witty. You DO know what a bloody “beaver” is.
- Run, Jed, sum dang fool jest dun bust up the beaver dam! SOOOOOOOEEEE!! Here pig, here piggy pig.
- The beavers build a dam destroyed by a damn built-by-beavers dam destroyer. And if you destroy that one then the beavers build a dam destroyed by a damn built-by-beavers-destroyed-by-a-damn-built-by-beavers-damn-destroyer dam destroyer. Do you want to know what happens if you destroy that one?
- The farmer who lost his/her farm under the water is very happy. See recent discussions of reintroduction of beavers into Scandinavian countries
- The water behind it will escape and run away downstream. Later, you will have a writ served against you by a solicitor with enormous front teeth.
- The water is released into the ocean currents changing them so that no warm water makes its way to northern europe, causing it to freeze.
- The water runs faster.
- The water runs out
- The water runs out and a beaver bites you on the foot
- They build it again
- They can be rebuilt overnight.
- They chase you
- They knee-cap you then make you watch as they rape and kill your family. Then they rebuild it 27 times bigger and stronger
- They rebuild it to the same design
- They will get very upset and probably take you to court for destruction of private property… or you will cause a great flood downstream and the beavers won’t give a damn..hehe.. and rebuild it.
- They will hunt you down and belt the crap out of you (just ask Homer Simpson). Or get mightily miffed and leave, then another family moves in. Blimey, it’s a bit cut-throat being a beaver isn’t it?
- They will hunt you down and give you *such* a slapping, then rebuild it overnight.
- They will rebuild it. You can have a shit load of fun with this if you have a lot of time on you hands and a case of dynamite.
- Tsunami,followed by frantic rebuilding efforts and the sending out of a beaver-posse to lynch the offender.
- Water flows again
- You are beaver damned. (Get any other dam/damn puns this month?)
- You are left with a river.
- You get a whole load of anti-logging protesters sending you flowers, champagne and postcards (hypocrites!). They may even start worshipping you as a deity, kneeling on your doormat all night long and stinking your garage out with incense and sacrificial beavers. [Mine already stinks of incense and sacrificial beav …. Moving right along:]
- You get into trouble in some places if you don’t have a permit – and the little sods just rebuild it if you don’t trap them and remove them.
- You get wet
- You will increase flow downstream. You will also upset the beavers.
Do beavers require an official permit to build their dams?
Sometimes – see http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp
- Beavers can’t read, so it is a moot point.
- Dam right. You batter ( wall shape ) beaverlieve it. I work for the government, I know about paper work.
- Darn tootin’, otherwise you wouldn’ta asked it.
- How could they? Most of them won’t even reach legal adult age. So according to state law (Michigan laws), beaver dams cannot be built or maintained except by beavers. A human needs a permit to start this type of activity. In a famous dispute between a Mr. Tvedten and a Michigan department, the former was accused of maintaining a beaver dam without a permit. In response he called the observers “dam” liars.
- I got one of those stupid emails about this. So, along with my Nigerian next-of-kin-contractor-who-has-died-and-left-me-money email, I choose to believe it.
- In most ±normal countries, no. But in police states (we won’t be naming names) you need a permit for just about anything. Even building dams.
- It wouldn’t surprise me.
- No, but in Canada they and their dams may not be removed from Crown land; it’s otherwise illegal to disturb or molest a beaver.
- No,because the paper for those permits comes from timber felled by beavers, and you don’t bite the hand that feeds you!
- No. But humans do. What the hell is happening to basic human rights?!!
- Normally no – But i suspect in Tassie these days they would.
- Not if they bribe council officials
- Only if it starts to inconvenience humans downstream. Mostly they just do the paperwork online these days. http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp
- Only in dam Michigan. I couldn’t believe it until I checked it at Snopes. http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.asp
- Only in Punxsutawney on ground hog day. Any fool Know that SOOOOEEE. Dam hogs.
- Presumably not, but they are not welcome in Australia, according to Howard, because they are responsible for gang violence and other crimes.
- Properly, but given the current communication problems with the beaver this is always a grey area
- They do in Michigan – where the State tried to fine them $10,000 a day for unauthorised dam building.
- Well, that all depends on who you ask. The State of Michigan seems to think so. However, if you ask the dam beavers, PETA, or any rational thinking person, the answer would be no. Doesn’t it just figure that politicians fall into the “yes” category…?
- What’s an unofficial permit?
- Yeah, it’s handed out by the forest-planning office run by gnomes
- Yes – provide the Department of Irrigation, Water supply and Beaver licencing board.
- Yes they do…which is quite surprising because 99 out of 100 beavers are illiterate and speak very poor English.
- Yes, all beavers in certain states of the USA, will have to fill out, Form BDC1163 (Beaver Dam Construction). No dam can be built without the required form. Failure to do so will result in the dam being demolished.
- Yes, although in practice they never do. Such applications by smallish buck-toothed carnivorous damp mammals are seldom if ever granted.
- Yes, but if anyone tries to enforce their breach of planing authority refer to Q3
- Yes, there’s a huge beaver bureaucracy requiring forms in triplicate, with a huge backlog of applications.
- Yes. From FEMA.
The “Busy Beaver” problem – what is the maximum number of steps that an N-state 2-symbol Turing machine can make before it halts? For N = 1, 2, 3, 4 we have 1, 6, 21, 107, and for N=5 it is at least 47 million. What is the estimate for N=6?
- “Infinity and Beyond”.That’s very nice dear, now can you come off the roof and take your space helmet off. The Goldfish want to go to bed.
- 0. I rounded to the nearest 10^10,000,000.
- 10**865 which may be the same as my waist mx or IQ or 3rd arm? your turn for a question
- 3*10 to the power of 1730
- A big big number (ask Heiner Marxen and Jürgen Buntrock ) but more than 1 followed by 1730 zeros.
- A value of x to the power of y, approximately.
- About 10 raised to the 12th power
- An absolute shitload. I failed maths in Form 5.
- At least 47,000,001.
- Beavers that busy get very sore. Just ask Annabel Chong.
- Bugger, I knew I should’ve paid more attention in maths… I asked to phone a friend with big teeth for help, but she says she’s too busy. So my answer is, “an elephant”.
- Don’t know
- For Christ’ Sake Dr Bob, I’m a lawyer. 2+2=5. (or more accurately, 2+2= whatever you’re paying me to make it look like)
- Greater than 3*10^1730
- Hang on….I need 3 more glasses before that calculation is accurate.
- Hm, I presume a lot more than 47 million but a lot less than infinity. Right?
- I refuse to google “Turing machine”. That would be cheating. So my answer is, “I don’t know, but bloody big”
- It doesn’t matter, the resultant dam would constitute an illegal structure that I would be compelled to destroy in order to prove my answer to Q3.
- More than 47 million, at least.
- Oh forget it, numbers and letters just don’t go together in this lil old head. What on earth is an N-state 2-symbol Turing machine?
- OK Dr Bob… 3.0 x 10 to the the 1730th (I can’t do superscripts here)and if I typed out that many zeroes I don’t think it would fit
- over 10^1730 steps
- Pi r squared
- Really really big, 48 million.
- Something really really big…I mean REAL big with lots of zeroes on the end of it…or in keeping with the theme it could be BEAVER.
- SSSOOOOOOOEEEE!!! Dam them hogs! An’ dan that dang Turing feller fer bein’ so goshdarn big brained.
- The estimate at the moment is an infinite number of steps. There are currently N=6 machines running to see how far they go before stopping and thus far, they haven’t. Of course, if they do stop, does that mean that N=6 is has a finite number of steps, or that there really is a number attached to the infinite? In the immortal words of Keanu Reeves, “Whoa…”
- Who in the heck knows?!
This is an iceberg … but wait! Yes!! – it is THAT iceberg.
- After 90 years and $30 billion dollars the Irish finally raise the Iceberg that sank the Titanic.
- A beaver building a dam with a N-state 2-symbol Turing machine. Kinda rounds things off nicely.
- A dam built by a family of Arctic Beavers (Rodentus Coldarsius).
- A good way to stop a maiden voyage.
- A holiday snap moments before the Titanic incident. (possibly IR)
- A recently melted icefloe with an orca in it
- A very famous iceberg – responsible for causing a second rate film with Leonardo DiCaprio (a much superior version can be found at http://www.angryalien.com/0604/titanicbunnies.html ) If it had Beavers instead of rabbits it would be much better.
- A whale
- Aaagh! It’s an iceberg! It is a sign of Antarctica breaking apart due to undoubtedly anthropomorphic (sick(sic)) global warming. Quick, quick! Let’s buy a solar panel each from Ware, Love & Owrmunni Pty. Ltd. and hope for the best!
- An anti-titanic device.
- An ice berg
- An Icelandic beaver
- An Icelandic Beaver looking suspiciously like a gumboot or a map of Italy in part.
- Either an iceberg, or the rare and endangered albino Loch Ness monster
- frozen water!???? (Pure water)
- Iceberg or snow covered beaver dam. (pure guesses)
- It’s a fading two-tone electronic pictorial representation of a melting iceberg, something that, despite Dr. Bob’s assertions, has never known beaver or cow.
- Judging from the poor-resolution picture, it is the Tip of an Iceberg
- Kevin Rudd (left of picture) circling and observing the demise of Little Johnny.
- loch ness monster’s arctic cousin, fred.
- Looks like giant mammoth bone sticking out of the water. Or, for creationists, some more irrefutable entirely scientifically accurate evidence for a worldwide flood exactly 4015 years ago (though in what way, don’t ask me).
- Since I can’t come up with any witty “Beaver Iceburg” quips, I’ll go with the old stand-by: The iceburg that the Titanic hit!
- The flying nun’s hat? Oh my stars, has she drowned? Actually it looks a bit like a bit off the SS Enterprise too, just frozen.
- The iceberg damaged by the Titanic.
- The iceberg that sank the Titanic … or Migallo the white whale on a bad fin day… or a beaver navy ship disguised as an iceberg (they’re treacherous little buggers).
- The iceberg that sunk the Titanic.
- The prototype of the Acme company’s patented Anti-Titanic Device (TM), completely successful in sea trials.
- The real star of the “Big Boat Movie” The iceberg who sank the Titanic.
- The world’s most obvious picture question! It’s an x-ray of Barry William’s artificial knee, isn’t it? No? Told you I was sick! No? Okay, right then, it’s the iceberg most likely to have sunk the Titanic. (PS didn’t even Google).
- This is a scanned copy of the photographic print of the iceberg with which the RMS TITANIC supposedly collided on April 14, 1912 at latitude 41-46N, longitude 50-14W.
- This is what was left of the iceberg that sunk the Titanic taken several years later. Or a bit of packing material left over after they launched the Loch Ness Monster mark ii from its box (marked ‘made in Finland’).
- This is the piece of frozen H2O that was unfortunately in the way of a certain “unsinkable” ship. You can even see the streak of black paint! Eerie, really. [Well no, Newfoundland actually. Lake Erie does freeze over but the ice doesn’t come out. Cripes! – here’s an extra question: What happened to the Erie tribe in 1655?]
- “Dowdiest Crap” is an anagram for “dried cow pats”.
- 167626 this month. Can anyone beat three of a kind? (I may not be able to win the quiz, but I can sure win entry code poker. Say that’s a good quiz question. If 200 people enter the quiz what is the probability that three sixes would be the winning code?
- Ah, a return to the nostalgia of the Titanicesque questions – Hitler and Iceland can only be a quiz or two away…
- Beavers, turds, ice and theoretical computing. Must have been a hell of a convention, huh Dr. Bob?
- Desperate to pick a winner again were ya? You were a bit harsh about Coolgardie though Dr Bob. Was that absolutely necessary? This place goes off! [I can imagine ,what with the fierce summer heat, etc] At least twice a year. Some years three times. Mwah to you. The place really is booming, every house is full, everyone who wants one has a job, and it turns out there are still big mobs of gold in the ground. Boom and bust, rain and dust. It will pass though, some European country will sell off half its gold reserves and the price will plummet and everyone will go home again. It’s a funny little town.
- Did I have a go last month? I did think it to be Spike Milligan’s headstone, if I didn’t send it in then “I’m an idiot” “fine fine fine”. Extra points ’cause roctober is my birth month?
- Did you realize Dr Bob, that in America, when a local says you have a nice fanny, they mean you have an attractive bottom? If they say you have a nice Beaver, it can mean one of two things.1) You own one of natures clever carpenters, or 2) You have a nice beaver.
- Dr Bob, I know that August is finished, dead, lost, gone, done for, and over with, but I missed the quiz, and I find that I just have to take issue with your art question:”Other than in Europe, where is the biggest collection of French art of the renaissance period?”This may have been a trick question, and I’m not sure of the answer, but my guess would be America. That’s not my problem: my problem is your claim that there were ‘no French artists of the Renaissance period’. Not even a little bit true. What about Jean Colombe, Simon Marmion and Nicholas Froment? All painters of the C14th and 15th, the High Renaissance. What’s more, France had a renaissance book illustration industry that beggars the imagination with its size, productivity and export industry. This was as much ‘renaissance art’ as boring old Italian Mannerist altarpieces of the C16th. Anyhow, I guess the USA would have the biggest illustrated book collections outside Europe: the Pierpont Morgan and Getty collections alone probably ensure that. There now, I’m done. And I promise not to complain about your questions months later ever again (probably).
- Have there been lots of media stories in Australia about Ken Ham’s creationism museum here in Kentucky? [Not really. There were stories about it when it started up, copying reports from US newspapers and noting the existence of it. But no mention of it recently. The Skeptics reckon that it will go for some years, start to lose money and eventually collapse in an ugly mess with a lot of creationist money going down the drain. Meanwhile the recriminations between Ken Ham & Carl Wieland are very amusing, and have led to a lot of damaging gossip and other things coming out of the woodwork. John Mackay and Andrew Snelling have reappeared, and sided with Ken Ham. Looking on the bright side, I think the museum is a Good Thing, as it brings the creationist belief-set into sharp relief in public view; when this happened with the UFO movement in 1997 (50th anniversary of Roswell) the topic got dragged into the clear light of day and thereby widely discredited, and has remained such ever since. So hang in there, Andrew, and one day you won’t be the only skeptic in Kentucky.]
- I just love Beaver question and the great images you can Google. The boss isn’t too impressed though.
- I put a lot of thought into the pix and know my answer is probably wrong. I look forward to the answer.
- i tried
- I want to be a Lumbarjack [Is that a new word for a chiropractor?]. “When you are a Lumbarjack you are up to your eyebrows in Beaver”. (Ren and Stimpy episode in which a very small (stereotypical Quebecois) Lumbarjack stands next to a statuesque Blond, strangely enough he only comes up to her waist.
- I want to go the cow pat throwing championship, cause I would win.
- If I may quote a celebrated mentor of our times……… “Lovely Job Bob”. Sod Thomas the Tank Engine!
- Interesting, but not terribly applicable to anything particular. Fun, nevertheless
- Isn’t it a bitter irony of fate that the Newcastle meeting of Skeptics was held on the same day that we were leaving for the Blue Mts? Boohoo!
- Keep on the good beaver work and take the number on Q5 as more or less….
- Make the questions harder
- So Bob..have you been travelling in beaver country by any chance? I couldn’t be bothered Googling for answers so I made them up, mostly, hard to believe hey.
- This set of answers is a Google-free zone. Does that improve them?
- What is it with Q5? I don’t get it.
- You appear to have a beaver fixation this month Doctor Bob… Did you know that in 1638 the English Parliament passed a law prohibiting the use of any material other than beaver fur for making hats?
- You are the Champion my friend / And you’ll keep on quizzing til the end / Cause you are the quiz king, you are the Bob thing / No time for losers, no time for non-Icelanders / Cause you are the CHAMPION DR Bob
- You seem to have neglected the colloquial application of the word beaver.