Answers for February 2002

Our WINNER this month is better at maths than English:

Piero Fabbri

Question 1

What colour is the Universe?


  • Well, duckie … <purses lips> … it wouldn’t be MY choice
  • Apparently a ghastly shade between pale turquoise and medium aquamarine
  • “Your eyes are the eyes of a woman in love…”. Not impossible, especially if the girl is blonde. Turquoise, the astronomers say. With a bit of “aquamarina”. But the meaning of “Turquoise” is incredibly clearer than the meaning of “colour”, in this stuff. Mix up all the all wavelengths of the universe, and you get turquoise/aquamarina. What is my colour, Dr. Bob? Mix up all my wavelengths! Not even my mother will recognize me, after that. Astronomers, tsk!
  • A shade between aquamarine and pale turquoise (there is a swatch of this colour Is this like what colour is the inside of a dark room?
  • As the Universe contains everything, then the Universe must be white, as a big mix of every wavelength (colour) is white. But then there’s a great deal of nothing in the Universe, and it’s universally accepted that nothing is black. But as nothing really should make no contribution to the Universe, then it’s White.
  • As the Universe is composed mainly of empty space which we can see through, I’d say “transparent”
  • Baby poo green
  • Black – all this nonsense about blue is getting tiresome
  • Black (but that isn’t a color)
  • Black with white sparkley bits.
  • Blackish mostly with specks of various hues. Well when I last looked it was a just the divinest shade of purple. I suppose you’ll tell me it’s been privatised and Universe Inc. has got the painters in and it’ll be some appalling garish yellow.
  • Blue. No green! Oh shit I’ll skull anyway.
  • Brown, everything should be brown. Like when you were a kid and your mum gave you neapolitan icecream and you mixed it all together: brown.
  • Clear.
  • Cosmic green – on average, anyway. This appears to be the colour of thin leek soup, but without the interesting dark lumps. No croutons either. But this is only relevant to the present time – apparently the universe has followed Picasso’s example by going through a blue period in early life.
  • Dark grey.
  • From where I stand, black or blue, except when it’s raining then it’s grey.
  • Given that much of the universe is disappearing into black holes and also given that black is not a colour then the universe has to be orange.
  • Green.
  • I can’t believe it. I actually know this one. This is the first time I have looked at a Dr. Bob question and known the answer. Let the rejoicing begin. I’m not as stupid as I thought… Oh yeah, the answer. The universe is a pale green.
  • If you ask a goth, it’s black. Everything is black, my soul is black and spiralling towards an abyss, my heart is black the universe is black and spiraling. But scientifically it’s Teal or Light Blue.
  • If you were to take the square root of pi multiplied by six, factor that wall over there and add them, the result would be a light tangerine with flecks of vermilion. I’m not sure what this means, but if you can do a math problem that results in a color it MUST be the colour of the universe.
  • In the beginning, there was darkness and the darkness was without form, “Let there be light” and the light was good. (Reads to me like Earnest Hemmingway was the Author). Well my particular universe is Purple, I don’t know why it just seems like a nice colour. Not too harsh on the eyes and doesn’t keep you awake at night. Although those damn UFO’s passing in one ear and out the other can make a bit of noise. “Excuse me Mr. Dog, do you have a cigarette?” My submarine is a lovely shade of Red.
  • It’s dark. Very dark.
  • It depends on who you talk to, some say pale green, but Port Adelaide supporters say teal. [I’m rather surprised that they can articulate words at all. Unlike Essendon supporters who say CARN THE BOMBERS OI OI OI …ahem, excuse me – back to reality]
  • It’s got a red tinge to it, as though viewed through rose colored glasses
  • It’s sort of a turquoise, rather like Manchester City’s home kit.
  • Magenta
  • Mostly black, with little white sparkly bits and a tasteful sprinkling of other hues.
  • My first response is “A pretty shade of dark blue” but on reflection… a rather bland shade of veryveryveryveryinfrared
  • No colour at all – on average it’s black, very black
  • Off beige, leaning more towards ecru. With a neutral color like this, you can decorate with any other colors you wish.
  • Pale green, except in New Jersey where it is brown.
  • r,o,y,g,b,i,v
  • Red
  • Some astronomers have calculated that it’s “a shade between aquamarine and a pale turquoise”. They say the universe started out blue, is now turning green and will eventually go red. Onwards, comrades, for the future of the Universe is ours!
  • Something like the Windows desktop, a sort of pale, boring, non-descript turquoise.
  • Speaking for dichromatism sufferers everywhere, who cares?
  • The colour of money.
  • The universe is black, seeing that the vast majority of the known universe is in fact black and colourless. The colour of the known universe multiplied to the power of infinity would therefore make all other colour Not Applicable.
  • The universe is every colour.
  • This can only be determined by looking at it from another universe. The one I visit shows ours as a sort of shimmery bluey green with tinges of brown, but only during the day. At night it is puce.
  • Well, I was watching the Olympic Games and concluded that the Universe is colored red and white stripes with a blue background and white stars, but then I realized it was probably just the biased liberal media. So I ran down to the local Benetton shop as fast as I could. After all, who knows colours better? They said I was looking a little blue so after a bit of hot cocoa, I asked what the Universe’s colour is. “Definitely a meadow green, at least this spring”, was the answer. Hmmm… Not as definite as I’d hoped. So I ran back home. Approaching the speed of light, I glanced over my shoulder and, of course, everything was red.
  • Well, it all started in the very beginning, where God argued with Lucifer (who hadn’t fallen from grace yet at that time) about what the colour of the universe should be. Lucifer was all for red, while God had pink in mind, and otherwise green. [Because he was a Jealous God, oh yes]. God won the argument and the universe was initially pink. Then some aliens came along and despised pink, so they absorbed all the pink and dumped it in a black hole, leaving the universe the way it is now… no colour whatsoever. I hear there is a rumour however that some agency is converting cloudbusters to be used as paintguns to re-paint the universe. The colour has yet to be determined and is still subject of discussion.
  • Which uni, Dr Bob? Which verse? E.g., a UQ (Gatton Campus) poem would have a rustic tinge whereas a Monash rhyme would be a pleasantly ascetic shade of Bob Brown Green, as, naturally, would one from the Uni of Tasmania. Of course an Adelaide Uni verse would be pink and frothy, but that’s another story entirely.
  • Yeah, COOL, man! Chill out and sit back. Yeah… Like, it’s blue man, azure blue. The universe is all around you, moving with you, you are one with it. Man, I gotta go take a piss.
  • Who’s looking at it?

Question 2

How far does the average North American walk in a week?


  • 1.4 miles, according to Bill Bryson and UCLA. Of course ten years ago it was much more – but since then, TV remote controls have become more common.
  • It’s about 30 feet from my refrigerator to my TV; (B) about that distance from the door to the car; and (C) from my office to the coffee bar is about 75 feet. I walk (A) about 3 times round trip per day, or 180 feet. I walk (B) twice round trip per day, or 120 feet. (C) is done twice per day, or about 300 feet. So average walking per day is 600 feet, or 4200 feet per week. So there you have it — less than a mile. Combine that with cheeseburger & fries and the results ain’t pretty.
  • 1 mile
  • 1.4 american miles (1500 imperial yards) just from car park to gym so they can exercise.
  • 1.4 miles. Americans can’t even be lazy in metric.
  • 3 km tops. Whoops misread the question – divide by 52. Walk? WALK? If Gard had meant seppos to walk she wouldn’t have invented Detroit. Legs are for operating pedals in cars.
  • 32 miles
  • 42 kilometres
  • 50 km
  • 62 and 1/16 quarter acres. And damn if they gonna metricate it.
  • 700 yards
  • A lot further than they swim
  • A North American cannot be “average”. The plot of the function “North American” is a Peano’s curve, everywhere full of angles. Anyway, domestic North-American dogs are driving their owners to a quite relaxing habit. They managed to convince humans to reduce to only two hours the weekly walks, instead of the standard two hours and half. Dogs hate non-integer numbers.
  • Aabout 150 feet – to the fridge, the car, the bed, the couch, the toilet, the shower and back again
  • About 200 yards. Well, it’s a long walk to the car
  • According to average belt size it’s probably about 2 miles.
  • Bill Bryson says it’s 2.2 kilometers. He also claims he has walked that distance in 20 minutes flat along the Appalachian trail. I walked a bit over that trail last year, and I can understand the average American. Damn rocks everywhere, and no decent pub along the way.
  • By North Americans, do you mean everyone north of the Darien Gap, or just the Anglo-phone, car-loving population of Canada and the USA? Results will vary. The average citizen of the USA walks from their house to their car and then will walk about five miles as they wander through the shopping malls.
  • Couch. Ice box. Couch. Ice box. Repeat. Given they are traveling at an average 50 meters per second(Americans tend to be deceptively quick!), one might wager a guess at 3 meters multiplied by the resiliancy of their carpet which often cannot maintain its composure under such terrible strain.
  • Counting all life forms in North America, probably close to nothing. Bacteria, plants, fungi, fish, etc. do not walk.
  • Distance from couch to chair 10 metres. Fifty trips per day = 500m. Times seven makes 3.5km.
  • From the carpark to the Mall, KFC (if no drive through) McDonalds, Wendy’s Burger King (or Queen, in San Francisco) and the local gun shop.
  • From the sofa to the fridge and back about two or three times per night, then from the bedroom to the sofa and return once per day, with the occasional trip to the bathroom. Total: bugger all. And what makes you think most of the “civilised” world is any different?
  • From what I’ve seen Americans hate to walk anywhere, they drive everywhere. If aliens (if they existed) were to fly over Los Angeles, or any other major American city, they would think the city was populated by mechanical vehicles.
  • Further than a lazy North American but less than a fit busy North American.
  • He/she doesn’t. An average North American waddles the distance between the easy chair and the car. And – sorry – do does an average Australian too. Remember Kyoto! Start walking!
  • Hmm, how far is it on average from any KFC to its nearest McDonalds? 10 metres? Multiply that by three visits per day times seven days in a week minus one Sunday visit by mainstream Christians and minus two Saturday visits by Adventists and Jews and you get err umm a weighted average of 183 metres per North American per week except for January because it’s too bloody cold to walk anywhere in winter in the whole godforsaken continent.
  • Hmm. To the car and back, five days a week, I’d say about a mile.
  • If the remote control is broken, 50KM to the TV and back to the couch.
  • In all fairness, who cares? A couple of miles?
  • North Americans don’t walk when they can sit, and they don’t sit when they can recline. “ How far does the average North American recline in a week?” is a better question.
  • Not far enough!
  • Nowhere unless they have to.
  • Oh, Dr. Bob – does anyone care? And where are they walking? To work, to home, to market, to market to buy a fat pig? To the loo? To find the remote control? What about sleep walking? Does that count? I’d say around 1/2 mile, according to the USA National Personal Transportation Study 1995 (
  • One mile, I guess, if even that far (sorry, I don’t know the metric equivalent of a mile, you British empire subjects will have to work out the conversion). I’m an average North American, and I have to say we’re rather sedentary and walk only short distances, from seat to seat.
  • Quite far actually, unless you want to talk about just the humans.
  • The average North American does not walk for a week, they usually do it in little bursts, up to a max of around 10 – 40 minutes per instance. There are no records of any North American, average or otherwise, having walked for a week.
  • This is a meaningless question. ‘The average North American’ is a statistical construct and not a living individual.
  • To his car and back 4 times a day = 10m x 4 x 7 = 280mTo check his gun is loaded 4 times a day = 5m x 4 x 7 = 140mTo the toilet and back 4 times a day = 10m x 4 x 7 = 280mMeandering around at work = 1km x 5 = 5kmTotal =5.7km
  • Walk? What, are you kidding? We have drive-up banks, drive-through fast-food places, and drive-through pharmacies, to name but a few, so that we NEVER have to walk. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
  • We don’t have a metric measurement as that would be unAmerican, however we do know that it is less than .62 kms
  • Well, as I have seen studies on the average weight of Americans, and based on their obesity, I would contend that they do not walk… they waddle.
  • There is no average North American. They are all odd.

Question 3

Why do crusty pies make a crunching sound when you bite into them?


Sonic booms: “At the first bite, an eater’s teeth shear the piecrust’s alternating layers of gluten and air. As each layer breaks, you hear a snap-essentially a microscopic sonic boom, as the breaking fragments move at the speed of sound…” (New Scientist 22.12.2001)

Nearly Right Answers:

  • For the same reason why computers make a crashing sound when you slam a hammer into them.
  • The breaking of the baked carbon compounds sets off vibrations in the atmosphere which register as sounds in our ears.
  • Because some of the work you are putting into it from your teeth is translated into sound energy
  • Breaking crust causes a sudden concussive displacement of surrounding air
  • It’s the sound made by the pastry as it fractures.

Almost Nearly Right:

  • Another pi question!
  • Because of all the tasty, crunchy little ants that have been incorporated into the dough.
  • Because of the bones.
  • Because once again, the wife left them in the oven for too long
  • Because since they can now contain less than 25% meat most companies have gone for the less expensive substitute of gravel.
  • Because the answer is so OBVIOUS to me, I will go on a completely different rant. Sometime later, though. I doubt I have the energy now.
  • Because the crunch is what makes the pie taste good. I have done some research and the crunching causes vibrations in the inner ear which effectively vibrates against the olfactory nerve which in turns heightens our taste receptors thus increasing the “wow this pie is yummy” factor.
  • Because they are burnt and there is little or no water in them.
  • Because they are hard and crusty.
  • Because they lack the vocal chords necessary to scream when they are bitten.
  • Because they’re crusty? Am I missing the point? Do you mean WHY are they crusty? [Because they would not be crusty pies if thy weren’t crusty].
  • Because years of insufficient brushing have caused my teeth to become hard and brittle, and to crack if undue pressure is exerted on them (such as caused by biting hard pastry). I suspect when other people bite into them its the sugar hardened pastry cracking that makes the crunching noise.
  • Because you’re compressing and releasing trapped air. So stop cracking your knuckles and go chew on a pie.
  • Cockroaches? (b) Mouse bones? (c) Perspex chips? (d) Breaking tooth enamel and fillings? Most of the pies I have eaten have been at the footy, and they were over the horizon they were so far from being anything even remotely resembling “crunchy”. A better adjectival phrase would have been “white bitumen with coagulated paste”.
  • Cos’ cockroaches are crunchy, cobber.
  • Due to patented “Crunch technology” that has been stolen from Mr. Christies. For legal reasons I can’t talk about it here, but what I can tell you is that people who bake pies that crunch (AKA “crusty pies”) are currently the target of a lawsuit from the cookie mannufacturer.
  • Due to the unboned, real dead cooked baby frogs. (Dew picked and flown in from Iraq)
  • Good Vibrations, Chum! Do you remember “Hot Patotie Bless My soul, I really loved that Rock and Roll?” RHPS, friend! Crusty pies and french fries are rockers, soups and salads are just country&western. They break the Mach number, like a guitar riff from Led Zeppelin…
  • Grit in the flour?
  • I guess they make them wrong where I come from, they don’t crunch at all.
  • Insect legs in the dough.
  • Is this question like the one about what sound does a falling tree make in a forest? Ar, well, at a guess I’d say that the burnt bones from the four and twenty black birds might make a crunchy sound?
  • It’s the noise made when you crush the CIA-planted bugs.
  • Long answer: Because the pasta componet of the pie is crusty. Short answer: *crunch*
  • Lots and lots of layers of crispy stuff cracking… excuse me, off to get a snack
  • Probably due to some ghastly chemical additive.
  • So that blind people can enjoy them too!
  • So you don’t hear the screams as the burning hot gravy (hmmm must think of a better name for it) blisters the inside of your mouth.
  • The “crunching” is the sound of the crust being crunched. When things are crunched, they make a crunching sound.
  • The crunchy sound is the pie equivalent of “ARRRRGHHH, you’re killing me, Stop, Police, Murder, farewell children”.
  • The little layers of greasy dough rub passionately against each other when disturbed.
  • They are screaming in pain. Learn to live off of air and water!
  • They don’t, in my experience. Does the Coriolis Effect have any effect on this?
  • They lack the vocal apparatus to SCREAM IN AGONY!!!!!!
  • What do you expect them to do; squeal like stuck pigs??
  • When you eat a crusty pie, the movement of your teeth through the pie causes vibration of the pie crust, and the air around it. If this vibration is somewhere between 100Hz and 20KHz, then you’ll probably hear it. Unless you’re deaf. [No – as it’s a vibration in the skull you’d still hear it if you’re deaf!]

Question 4

In the early 1800’s John Dalton pioneered the concept of atoms of chemical elements – what did he die of?


“Dalton … was convinced that atoms really existed – hence his violent objection to the terminology Berzelius was to introduce, in which an element was denoted by one or two letters of its name rather than its own iconic symbol. Dalton’s passionate opposition to Berzelius’s symbolism (which he felt concealed the actuality of atoms) lasted to the end of his life, and indeed when he died in 1844 it was from a sudden apoplexy, following a violent argument defending the realness of his atoms.” (Uncle Tungsten, by Oliver Sacks)

Other Answers

  • A shootout at the “not so OK” corral
  • A stroke, so what? What does this have to do with atoms?
  • A stroke. Shortly afterwards, he performed his last experiment, to determine the cause of colour-blindness.
  • A stroke. Unlikely to have been nominated for 1800’s equivalent of the Darwin Award.
  • Actually it is a little known fact that Dalton died in flagrante delicto after an enervating infatuation with an ancestor of the Bond bimbo made famous by Dalton’s descendant Timothy in the 1980s.
  • Boredom.
  • Boredom? Stress? The atoms in his head couldn’t compete anymore, so they imploded? Stroke actually, on 27th July 1844 (see after noting the weather conditions one more time (oh, dear was that a lightning bolt that came hither?).
  • Bunsen burner explosion.
  • Cancer
  • Cardiac arrest.
  • Colour blindness meant he crossed when the little man was red.
  • Death. Some people have tried to die of other things, but the 100% cause of people dying is death, complete cessation of brain function.
  • Element poisioning – the extraordinarily rare and deadly disease which occurs when one encounters too many molecules at one time. The molecules, disgusted by his hair, must have charged him and he, unaware of his certain doom, kept reading Pride and Prejudice. Therfore, to the untrained eye, it would appear to be a suicide from boredom, pure and simple.
  • He died of a Thursday
  • He died… of life. (Cue swelling violin music)
  • He fell out of bed.
  • He stopped breathing
  • He was just coming back from the gym via his steven screen when he was struck by an 1.4 mile diam’ american pi as it fell out of the green blue coloured sky. The sound of the breaking crust could be heard in Indiana. Talk about a *stroke* of bad luck
  • He was struck by an automobile. This was very surprising as Daimler would not have invented the car for another 50 years after Dalton’s death.
  • He’s still alive and making more Die Hard movies.
  • His atoms and chemical elements ceased co-operating with him.
  • I read he died of a stroke. Maybe he was sick of just being colour-blind and was engaged in an activity trying to become completely blind.
  • John Dalton died of a stroke. It was caused by his colour blindness which caused him to identify his opponents ball as his own in a stroke contest. His ensuing stroke won him the weekly medal.
  • John died on 27 July 1844 of a stroke, after noting the weather conditions for the day in his journal. He had requested an autopsy to determine the cause of his color-blindness. It was his final experiment and proved that the condition called Daltonism is not caused by the eye itself, but some deficient sensory power. Manchester buried John with kingly honors with his body lying in state and a funeral as for a monarch. John was viewed by more than 400,000 people while his body lay in state and the procession was over a mile long. This was in direct violation to the simple Quaker principles by which John had lived. Furthermore, the city has honored him with both a large monument and a statue.
  • Krone’s disease – he was punched out by the cat5 cable guy.
  • Lack of heartbeats…
  • Lawn Bowls!
  • Lead poisoning
  • Morphine overdose. There was a reason for his interest in chemical elements, he wanted to get high, man. Or was that someone else?
  • Mortality
  • natural causes
  • Not another “death takes a holiday” question, please! We seem to have exhausted all the more unusual reasons, egs: ruptured bladder (Tycho Brahe), tram (Gaudi), ear-ectomy (van Gogh), and Russia (A. Hitler). So I’m going to be original and say that Dalton died of boredom and lack of rumpy-pumpy, not chemical poisoning.
  • old age
  • Ooh, freebie! Hypoxemia.
  • Oooh – I know this one… In 1844 he fell out of bed and died.
  • Pneumonia after stuffing a chicken with ice in a cold river.
  • Poisoning as a result of too many chemical elements of the wrong kind?
  • Poor Johnny Dalton’s dead and gone / We won’t see him no more / For what he thought was H2O / Was H2SO4
  • Radiation
  • Same as everyone – his brain stopped. [Uh… wha … um…]
  • Some people say it was a stroke incurred after checking the weather and lawn bowling. In fact, he died of severe disappointment when he realized his colourblindness would always prevent him from knowing the true colour of the Universe.
  • The poor bloke / Died of a stroke / So the Quaker / Met his Maker
  • There is no actual record of his death. We think that Mr Dalton is one of the immortals who sneaks around decapitating rivals in order to become the one. One what, you ask, that means you could be one too!
  • What a sad story! The poor Dalton was daltonic, do you know? And in that tragic day it was raining a little, like is registered in his diary… well, it happened that the floor of his bedroom was made of red bricks, and on July 27 1844 his maid covered his bed with a blue sheet. Before going downstairs to have breakfast, Dalton raised on the bed to see the weather (he always registered meteo observations for first, looking from a small and high window over his bed), and, I said it, it was raining just a little. A damned raindrop fell in his right eye, so he lost the 3D vision, for a fatal while. Having to get off from bed, he couldn’t distinguish between bed and floor because of the colours, he couldn’t distinguish them because of the single-eye vision, so he stepped badly and fell from the bed. Should I remind you that in 1844 beds were about two meters tall? What a sad story….

Question 5

During the soccer match “Ajax vs Helmond Sport” in 1983, the famous player Johan Cruijff took a most bizarre penalty kick. Instead of kicking the ball in the direction of the goal, he passed the ball to his left side where his colleague Jesper Olsen picked it up. What happened next?


Research shows that the following sequence of events occurred:

(a) Olsen immediately passed the ball thing back to Cruijff, using his feet and not his hands since this is a condition of the method of playing the game.
(b) Cruijff kicked the ball into a parabolic trajectory that caused it to pass between the two vertical posts at the edge of the playing area.
(c) The man whose duty it is to attempt to prevent such passage failed to do so, probably because he had positioned himself too far from the ball’s actual trajectory.
(d) The umpire who was supervising the game blew his whistle, signifying that he had recognised that the ball had passed correctly between the posts.
(e) Apparently to make the ball pass between the posts in this way is the object of the game. Consequently, those persons attending and observing the game expressed delight.
(f) However, this success did not end the game, as one might think.
(g) Presumably an officer of one of the teams volunteered, or was dispatched, to retrieve the ball from wherever it had rolled to, since without the ball it is not possible to continue the game.
(h) Grown men kicked a ball around a field.
(i) Everybody was happy.

Other Answers

  • “Aaargh!” cried Olsen “it is forbidden! I do not want to play this ball!” and kicked back the ball to Cruijff. “Really?” asked Johann “in this case, it’s better to give it to the enemy!” and kicked the ball toward the Helmond’s goalkeeper. “Do you think I am a stupid?” shouted Otto Versfeld “this ball is wicked, I’ll never touch it!”, and let the Ajaxian score. The referee started crying, the public decided that cricket was quite simpler than soccer, and, after some days, the Supreme Football Court decided that a goal is a goal is a goal.
  • A fool might quickly answer “He was shown the red card for handling the ball?” [and indeed, I have investigated this possibility] Well who am I kidding, that’s what I’d answer too.
  • A handball penalty. He picked up the ball, did he not?
  • A moment of confusion, followed by a sound pummelling by their team mates
  • A small team of Andean Alluvian Backpackers suddenly appeared out of his back passage. Much to his surprise and chagrin. The referees, upon seeing this immediately declared the entire side offside (well backside actually)
  • Ajax got a free kick (hands, in a soccer game!) which didn’t do them much good since it’s a cleaner.
  • And I quote “He was shown the red card for handling the ball?” see
  • Because the team’s corporate sponsor was a cleaning product, the team was required to clean the ball with a damp sponge before each penalty kick
  • Bloody hell, how obscure can you get? I’m not going to win this month, am I?
  • Both unfortunates reported immediately to the Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages and were each issued with correctly spelt pronounceable names. (Bloody hell, Dr Bob, what sort of name is Cruijff? Or Jesper, for Pete’s sake? Is this a fair dinkum question or are you again pissing yourself laughing at us poor mugs going mental trying to answer another of your contrived constructs?)
  • Collingwood signed him up, there and then
  • Everything since then.
  • Goal! Goal! Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!
  • He said to the opposition “if you’re not gunna play fair I’m taking my ball and going home”.
  • He was red carded for handball?
  • I don’t know, but I think its spelt “Cruyff” and not “Cruijff” (you did that deliberately to make it harder to search out the answer, didn’t you Bob?)
  • If he is so famous, why have I never heard of him? [Oh! Lucky you!] But anyway. Olsen made a touchdown! The crowd went wild. They poured out of the stands onto the field and killed Olsen and Cruijff.
  • I’ve seen this written up on a few sites across the Internet but it has always been in Dutch. Since it was written with exclamation marks, it was probably something truly bizarre (like, they ate the ball), or really funny in Dutch (like, they ate the ball). So I guess that they ate the ball.
  • Jeez, I don’t know and I can’t think of anything that even I find amusing, let alone others who may own a real sense of humour. Perhaps Jesper wrote a haiku poem to other unsuccessful penalty takers and tattooed it on Johan’s khyber?
  • Jesper introduced Johan to the concept of soccer ball enemas.
  • Jesper Olsen ran into the penalty area, collected it, and passed it back to Cruijff, who kicked the ball into an empty net while the opposition goalkeeper looked on in surprise.
  • Jesper Olson, the goalie, drop kicked it down the field. (the penalty shot was from next to the goal)
  • Jesper ran across the goal line and did a little touchdown dance.
  • Jesper spontaneously combusted, and after conferring with the judges, the officials determined that was an unfair maneuver. The other team got the ball, and it is said that if you look in the background on the television footage, as they announce this, you can see him flaming across the field.
  • Johan screamed at Jesper that he shouldn’t have picked up the ball. But because Jesper was a legless player (ie he ran around on his hands because he had no legs) the referee allowed the pass to Jesper who then dribbled it (no pun intended) toward the goal and with one last thud got it past the goalie and into the net. The crowd went wild.
  • kicked the goal. He picked it up with his feet.
  • Lightning struck next to Jesper. Because of the concussion the ball was blasted into the goal, and Jesper had a whole new hairdo, which incidentally has just recently become fashionable. Johan still wonders how Jesper caused this fluke-incident.
  • Naughty Dr. Bob. One swift hit of the enter key revealed that this question was asked in December 2001 by another skeptic. I think the answer given was “He was shown the red card for handling the ball”. [Yes but you shouldn’t believe all the stuff you read on the skeptics page]
  • Olsen actually picked it up with the top of his head and knocked it in that way (a guess)?
  • Olsen didn’t actually “pick it up”, that would be handball. He passed it back to Cruyff who scored. You can’t do that anymore though. [Yes, that’s what my wife says too]
  • Olsen didn’t pick it up. He kicked it back to Cruijff who slotted it past the confused goalie. Not very bizarre.
  • Olsen handballs it to Pele, Pele blind turns and drop kicks the ball to Keegan who takes a screamer. He is fifty out on a 60 degree angle. Slotted it right between the uprights.
  • Olsen kicked a goal, which was subsequently dismissed by the referee as a violation of rules. I am guessing, naturally.
  • Olsen passed the ball back to Cruijff, who easily scored a goal past the flabbergasted keeper Otto Versfeld. The audience and the referee were equally surprised. Nobody dared to cheer, and the referee took a couple of seconds before he approved the goal. Ever since this historic goal the ability of Dutch players to score from a penalty has spectacularly declined. Witness the untimely elimination from the world championship qualifications (insert sobs).
  • Olsen ran down the field and kicked a goal into their own net, thereby covering the point spread.
  • Olsen slipped the ball back to Cruijff who calmly tapped it into the net past an immobile one-legged pirate.
  • Olsen was given a red card and sent off for handling the ball.
  • Ricky Martin started signing “Cup of Life”
  • The crowd gasped in amazement.
  • The game ended and there was a common-place soccer fan riot.
  • The ref blew his whistle, because a player should not pick up the ball in soccer.
  • The spectators threw fairy dust all over the field and all the players were turned into the number 14.
  • The whistle blew for full time
  • They threw their children overboard, but John Howard didn’t know anything about it
  • Try to imagine how little I care. “Prats in shorts kicking a ball around in front of prats in scarves” Sgt. Bolton, The Bill c 1997
  • zzzzzzzzzzz boring

Question 6

<Parked cars and sign “Penis Enlargement Clinic”> – is this a picture genuine or a fake?


  • Let’s make some calculations. A car is about 150 cm tall. The shadow of the red car is about zero. The shadow of the doctor’s car could be, well… 30 cm? So, the sun it’s at zenith for the Ferrari and at (arctan 1/5) for the little car…. Uhm. If it is the same sun glittering on both the cars, then it should be quite near…. I guess that the metal of the cars could hardly be in the solid state, if the picture is genuine.
  • Absolutely true picture. All Porsche and Ferrari drivers are endowed like a gnat. I, on the other hand, have a Fiat 500. [Yes I had one too, but my dick kept getting caught in the steering wheel. I always enjoyed driving very much … they should put the windscreen wipers on the inside]
  • Clearly a fake. This building actually houses the more credible University of Creation Science and the Center for Perpetual Motion Studies. Besides, what kind of doctor drives a Renault?
  • Definitely genuine. I went out with the Doctor, and then realised that the owners of the cars in the carpark were onto a good thing – check out the fast cars. Now they have a drive-thru service…
  • Doctor Johnson … Penis Enlargement … Fancy sports cars for the patients … Hatchback for the doctor … That last statement proves it is fake! A doctor wouldn’t be driving that car.
  • Fake – doctors are always richer than their patients and drive better cars.
  • Fake, European Left-hand drive cars and English signs seem a bit dodgy.
  • Fake. No-one would hang out a brazen sign identifying a clinic as that kind of clinic.
  • Fake. The sun is on the left (shadow on bush, fence and yellow car) – the black car and the red car were added.
  • Genuine – all owners of porches and ferraris have small wedding tackle. The doctor has already undergone the enlargement therapy and therefore does not need an impressive car any more.
  • Genuine … hey that’s my car!
  • Genuine, of course. I recognize the black car as belonging to Dr. Bob.
  • Genuine. It’s a well known fact that men with small penises drive flashy cars and park them badly.
  • Genuine. The doctor doesn’t need a nice car to impress women. He obviously is a graduate of his own surgery.
  • Genuine… no, fake… wait – genuine. Yep – lock that answer in, Bob.
  • God, I hope it’s genuine.
  • How do you think I feel after checking out the full-sized image as you suggested? Bloody hell, Dr Bob – I’ve got a small car AND a small penis. Mortified, I am. [Then you must have rigor mortis by now … gosh]
  • I can tell you from personal experience that it is definitely *stroke*
  • If you believe that it’s genuine, you will believe anything. fake of course!
  • I’ll go for amusing fake. The architecture doesn’t scream “english speaking country” to me. The number plates on the LH drive cars don’t look like the ones I’ve seen in North America.
  • Is anything in this vale of tears real, or is it just an illusion. I asked this question, to the giant red lizard, as he passed me the splif.
  • It is a fake. No car could POSSIBLY be as repugnantly coloured as the one on the right.
  • It is a genuine picture, but whether it records a past event to any degree of accuracy I am unsure.
  • It is fake. You can tell by the way the shadow from the yellow car is angled in a slightly different direction than that of the red car. Plus no doctor would be caught dead in an ugly car like that one.
  • It is real! When I consider some of the limp d—s I’ve met from Toorak I just know it is real…
  • It looks contrived to me. At a guess I’d say it was a European magazine ad for Renault.
  • It looks mildly doctored, although jpeg compression does cause artifacts around writing and narrow lines. Irony makes me want to believe it’s genuine
  • It would be fake – the shadow of the tree does not fall on the penis enlargement sign.
  • It’s a fake! (You didn’t ask us to explain WHY, Dr. Bob…)
  • Its a fake. The patient cars are a porsche and a ferrari the doctors car is a barina. Try that on for size.
  • Its definitely a genuine picture. Doctors signs don’t generally look like that though…
  • It’s fake, because the shadow on the tan car shows the sun to be to the right side of the picture, while the shadows of the red and black cars show the sun to be in high noon, up overhead position.
  • It’s fake, much like the fake penises that dr. johnson offers up.
  • It’s fake. Eveyone knows those clinics don’t work. Trust me.
  • It’s quite genuinely a picture. “Dr. Johnson,” however, seems like too much of a pun for this picture to represent an actual scene which physically occurred.
  • No, the shadows should be at different angles, and the doctor would drive a much nicer car if his patients drove those kind of cars.
  • Obviously a fake. No right-thinking male would want to enlarge his penis AND drive a fancy sports car. (At least none that I’ve met.)
  • Ok. Now, the fact that Dr. Johnson is in the penis enlargement business is not reason to doubt this photo. After all, I have worked with physicians for lo, these many years and have come across similar coincidences of name and speciality. I even knew a Dr. Cox who was a urologist. But I can’t imagine that the Biggus Dickus clinic would advertise like this in public. Surely the sign out front would read “Urology Clinic” or “Dr. Johnson’s Clinic” or something like that. The license plates on the cars show that it is NOT Los Angeles, where a sign like that would probably be acceptable, so I think it has to be a fake sign.
  • The cars are real, the signs are not. They are obviously European cars with European registration plates (German? French?), and the building is also European style. The reflections on the cars seem to match each other and the building (although I agree they could have been put on digitally by clever software). However the signs are in English and have no decoration, which would be unexpected and highly unusual in Europe. They also look “digitised” from another picture. Anyway, the humour is not particularly riotous, or perhaps too far from my funny-bone. Maybe if the little car had a chainsaw in it…
  • The licence plates give it away. They do not come from an English-speaking country.
  • The picture is real, the contents are fake.
  • The picture must be genuine ‘cos I once saw Dr Johnson and his stupendous schlong in the shower and he told me that his life work would revolve, so to speak, around his conferring the same gift upon any sufficiently pecunious man who desired similar equipment. A saint, he is.)
  • The picture, apart from the clinic sign, is probably genuine. The clinic sign has been added later. There is no depth or shadow associated with the sign. The Porsche and the Ferrari are parked at a different angle from the Doctor’s car so they could have been added later.
  • This picture is true, but only before the operation of the two clients. Afterwards, it’ll be the doctor who’s driving the sport car, and the patients will be in the cute little Japanese. But as we all know it’s not the size that counts
  • Two things give this away. First, people who drive cars like that tend to park them across two spaces at the back of the lot so they don’t get scratched (look at how close they are). Second, with a car like that you don’t need a big penis.
  • Well the angle of the shadows looks a bit odd to me, so I’m guessing it’s a fake.
  • Well, if compensation-urge is anything to go by, I say it’s genuine. I miss some harley-davidsons in the picture though.
  • Yes it is because, well, they say that the size of a man’s penis is inversely proportionate to the size of his car. Oh, and only wankers drive sports cars….


Question 7

If Pi is written out accurately in binary 11.0010010000111111…. the first 4 bits after the point are 0,0,1,0 – what is the quadrillionth (10^15th) bit?

Correct answer


0, why not?

  • *flips coin* 0.
  • 0
  • 0 or maybe 1. One of the two I think.
  • 0, no, 1, wait……0…..1……no, 0
  • 1
  • 1 er hang on yeah 1 umm no oh yeah it is 1. Wait on. 0. ummm 1.
  • 1 (Technically, zero isn’t a number, and denotes “nothing” therefore can’t be considered as a “bit” of anything)
  • 1011
  • 7
  • And here is the useless fact of the day. If all bytes are 4 bit except before the dec point then the quadrillionth bit is… hey you can’t have a decimal point in binary! [Which is why I carefully did not call it a decimal point]
  • Are you suggesting that Victorians must now switch to a Four and Twenty^15th Pie and all they’ll get is just a tiny little bit?
  • At this point it forms a repeating pattern which translates into Hebrew “J-E-H-O-V-A-H-4-0-0-4-B-C”. The creationists were right.
  • But this depends on the value of pi used. If pi is 2.56, 3.2, or 3.14159… the quadrillionth digit is 0; if pi is 10/3 or 32/9 it is 1.
  • Either 0 or 1.
  • Either 1 or 0.
  • H.Q Holden, 2 months reg, white, fair cond.
  • I can’t remember – I fell asleep and missed it.
  • I thought this was supposed to be a skeptical quiz. Why should a skeptical person be expected to know about binary numbers and pi? I have mathematical friends I can ask if I need help in these areas. Are you on a diet Dr Bob? A question about crunchy pies and five questions about pi lead me to imagine you have a food fixation at the moment.
  • I’m going to wild a guess and say 1.
  • I’m with Lena Lovitch. My lucky number is one.
  • Is this the crunchy Pi of question 3?
  • I’ve a 50:50 chance of being right so… I guess 0.
  • No
  • Oh, I forgot
  • The beginning of the perfect circle described in the Carl Sagan novel and Jody Foster movie Contact.
  • The bit after the ((10^15)-1) bit.
  • There isn’t anywhere NEAR a quadrillion bits in 11.0010010000111111…. its less than 30 characters!
  • This is a bluff question! Or maybe a pluff one! Or the right spelling is plouff? Plouffe? Bah… Why don’t you ask to us why pi is called pi, instead?
  • Um, zero?
  • What? who wrote these questions??? doesn’t he realise that calculators don’t count that high?
  • XIV
  • Yes
  • You can’t write it out. There isn’t enough ink in the universe.
  • Zero, or not zero, or perhaps that state of being between zero and one

Question 8

If you write out the 1,000 increasing numbers using the decimal digits from the start of pi: 3, 31, 314, 3141, 31415, etc (so the last number has 1000 digits) – how many of these numbers are prime?


Only four (3, 31, 314159, and 31415926535897932384626433832795028841). Actually there are no more primes for the first 5,000 numbers like this. Gosh, how interesting.

Even Duller Answers

  • 246
  • 3
  • 3.1415. Yeah, I didn’t expect that either.
  • 4: 3, 31, 314159 and a longer one. [Oh YES!!]
  • 42
  • 122 (Stab in the dark)
  • 500
  • 666
  • 999
  • Absolutely no idea.
  • Again? Why don’t you ask us why phi (the gold section, 1.618…) is called phi, instead? (A bit more difficult, this one, uh?)
  • All of them are in their prime. Unlike roman numerals, our number system is not in any danger of being replaced.
  • Amazingly, just about as many as the number of games in which Otto Versfeld defended the goal of Helmond Sport.
  • Fillet, and scotch are considered Prime
  • Hmm, I hope you’re going to prove the answer to this because unless I see 1,000 numbers marked “prime” and “non-prime” I don’t accept your answer Uncle Bob.
  • I thought a prime number was one that looked sort of young and tanned and healthy but none of yours look like that at all. Neither do you, for that matter.
  • I’d guess 314.
  • If I wrote down a thousand numbers, I probably wouldn’t care.
  • Less than half. With Pi being irrational, the chances of the last digit being odd or even are pretty much 0.5 each. Even numbers can’t be primes. Go on, prove me wrong!
  • None
  • None of the even ones, quite a few of the odd ones.
  • Prime as in first? Obviously only one. See answer to the John Dalton question. There can be only one.
  • Prime rib, Prime Minister, what sort of prime do you mean?
  • Primed? Hmm..are they Telstra numbers? They get pretty jumpy. Oh, prime, sorry – I’d say at a big guess, oh, 7 -(just for good luck).
  • some or none or all of them or something or other.
  • Somewhere between 1 and 998.
  • Suprisingly few..but then again prime numbes are not all that common so I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised. The world is full of surprises. It’s great to be alive.
  • There is a gentleman called Adam Spencer who is available 6am – 9am Monday to Friday on the Triple J radio station – ask him, he’ll know. [Ha! It was me who told him]
  • This is getting very unfunny
  • What’s a prime?

Question 9

What is unusual about the paper The Computation of Pi to 10,000,000 Digits published by Academia Sinica Computer Centre, Peking – authored by Wei Gong-yi, Yang Zi-quiang, Sun Jia-chang, Li Jia-kia?

Answer, from Pi Unleashed (Springer-Verlag, 2001):

The article made clear the trouble which the four authors had had with their calculation and how they had finally overcome the problems. The article naturally contains a list of references. One of these is another article which sounds familiar, The Computation of Pi to 29,360,000 Decimal Digits by David Bailey, 1988. It would seem that the direction of progress is not always forwards.

Other Answers

  • A spell check wasn’t required. Also the pages weren’t numbered
  • Apparently someone read it once.
  • Best seller
  • Calculated by hand. What China needs is a good work for the dole program. Or did they always have one? Too many idle hands either way.
  • First one in human history ever published with that title.
  • It consists of only 10,000,000 digits presented without comment.
  • It didn’t win the prize for the most pointless scientific paper of the year
  • It doesn’t live up to it’s title.
  • It is exceptionally dull.
  • It is only 2 pages long.
  • It is unusually boring reading, even for a scientific paper.
  • It seems pretty odd that anyone would go to the extent of wasting time on such a computation.
  • It strongly depends from the meaning of the word “unusual”. And why e is called e?
  • It was authored by Wei Gong-yi, Yang Zi-quiang, Sun Jia-chang, and Li Jia-kia. Not many papers are.
  • It was done in binary.
  • It was the only book ever published in the PRC that was not first sent to a government censor, so on page 347 you can clearly see “24721MA015AD1CKHED”.
  • It’s surprisingly short, consisting of “Some people have computed Pi to 10,000,000 Digits. We have spent some time discussing it and can’t figure out why. If YOU can figure it out, please let us know.”
  • It’s the only paper entitled ‘The Computation of Pi to 10,000,000 Digits’.
  • It’s the only paper in recent years which does not have any references to it on the internet? They got their address wrong in the paper (ASCC is in Taiwan)? [Only if Peking is in Taiwan. I must have missed some news lately]
  • It’s written in chinese?
  • It’s wrong? It’s NOT in Chinese? It was computed by hand using a wind-up calculator? I wouldn’t be surprised…
  • None of them have a “b” in their name.
  • Somebody, somewhere would have read it – and enjoyed it?
  • That they used one of Dr. Goodwin’s formulae for Pi?
  • The fact that anyone read it?
  • The paper was made of bamboo?
  • Their paper was a poorly produced copy of a high quality Japanese original. Same as pirated Chinese Sonys and Panasonics, really.
  • There’s a coffee mug stain on the first page.
  • They all have chinese sounding names
  • They did it by hand/included all of the numbers they found
  • They did it in Roman numerals.
  • They did it on an abacus?
  • They got it wrong.
  • They miscounted. It was 10,000,027 digits
  • They tried to copyright it.
  • They were all Irish.
  • This was the only scientific publication in China with a critical note which successfully escaped the communist censorship. The mathematicians had put between the 5.984.857th and 5.984.858th digit a complaint about the quality of the Dim Sum served at the Academia Sinica.
  • What’s a paper?
  • Yes

Question 10

Dr Goodwin drafted the ill-fated Indiana legislation of 1897 which would have set pi equal to five different values 2.56, 3.2, 10/3, 32/9, and 4. Where did he get these values from?


By supernatural means, in the first weeks of March 1888. (A good example of how supernatural sources often give you several answers, even if none of them is correct)

Other Answers

  • A bad book
  • A caculator with flat batteries.
  • A good Christian upbringing?
  • A tree
  • Different circles
  • Dr Goodwin was attempting to ‘square the circle’. Each of the clauses in the bill, if computed properly would have given a different value for pi.
  • Dragged them from “PI for Dummies”.
  • From a passing party of five itinerant phrenologists whose abilities at mathematics were akin to their abilities as diagnosticians.
  • From that font of mathematical wisdom, the Bible. I’ve been to Indiana once, and that sort of idiotic legislation is unsurprising.
  • From the bottom of a barrel of Jack Daniels, by the looks of the text of the legislation! But don’t think this kind of political / legal nonsense is restricted to the mid-west USA – a little browse through such tomes as the Australian Family Law Act is equally, ummm, “entertaining”.
  • He didn’t – they are consequences of the error-ridden gibberish he proposed in the bill, which seems to be based on the idea that a quadrant chord is 7/8ths of a quadrant arc, which would be bad enough by itself, but there are also scriptos in his calculations…
  • He saw them on the wall at the penis enlargement clinic.
  • His arse.
  • His IQ, the average IQ of his colleagues, odds on horse 5 running in race 2 that day, England’s score at lunch on day 1 of the Lords test match, how many daiquiris he had with lunch.
  • This URL is much more succinct on this subject than I could ever hope to be.
  • I don’t know, but I wonder at setting a number to be equal to 5 different things. Would students be expected to answer geometry problems 5 times?
  • I don’t know, but I’m rather interested to find out.
  • I don’t know, but my aunt thought 22/7 was an exact computation of Pi and I had to tell her otherwise last year!!
  • If a man is called Goodwin there must be a faithful affaire inside, isn’t it? Only by faith you can believe that Good wins against Evil. The Bible should be involved. The noblest book… btw, why the nobles are said to have “blue blood”? No, wait, maybe this is a good question only in italian…. or not? Mah…
  • Incorrect advice.
  • Indiana……suggests to me…the bible, not much good as a maths text.
  • Indiana? 1897? Must be the Bible.
  • It would seem he pulled them out of his ass, or perhaps while up late one night surfing the internet he decided to use some obscure values from a page that google couldn’t find
  • Like I used to make my math exams. Trisect triangles, duplicate cubes, square circles and root plants and generally divide anything and everything. If the outcome is more or less a round figure, it might be correct.
  • Mrs Hardakers old fashioned pie shop
  • Noddy and Big Ears go to the Casino.
  • Random number generator? Not the Old Testament, it says 3. Five monkeys with a numerical keypad each? Back of a Weeties packet?
  • Some divine inspiration. I wonder if we could get this one through an Australian parliament. Let’s try?
  • Some guardian angel whispered them in his ear.
  • Sounds like he plucked them from his um….
  • Talk-back radio… it’s important for politicians to stay in touch with the people by listening to talk-back radio.
  • The Bible
  • The inside base of a gin bottle, by the sounds of it.
  • The Planets, which are of course, not perfectly circular. I guess.
  • They were the number of floor tiles relative to the number of windows in each room of his mothers house in Idaho.
  • They were the product of one of his transcendental but irrational meditations.
  • This sounds like an urban legend, which says that the Indiana legislature said that pi is an even three, because the bible says Solomon had a vessel three times its diameter. Actually, a legislator offered to the assembly a mathematician’s offer to the state of Indiana the rights, royalty-free, of his mathematical “discovery” regarding pi. The Indiana legislature referred it to committee where it hasn’t emerged since.
  • Uri Geller

Question 11

If you write out the first 1,000 digits of pi – does anything non-random appear?


There is a sequence of six 9’s around the 760th place. But this is not significant unless you define your criteria very carefully so as to pick it out.


Well if they’re the digits of Pi, they can’t be random can they?

Wrong, or Right, Answers:

  • Absolutely not. (At least that’s what Paul Davies says.)
  • Aha, I know this one! No. There is a run of, I think 7s, but they are just as random as all the other numbers. Oh wait a minute, maybe it’s yes. The first thousand digits are completely non-random because they happen to be the first thousand digits of pi. Co-incidence? I think not!
  • Anything? In the sense that it represents an exact value, the entire digital sequence of pi is non-random
  • Bugger me! The handwriting is the same. How did you do that Bob?
  • Dots in front of your eyes.
  • I gave up after writing out 386 digits so I’ll take a guess. No.
  • I think that the fact that they are the digits of pi makes them inherently non-random.
  • If my apple-cheeked high school maths teacher of fond memory is to be believed, no. “Good source of random numbers” he said.
  • It strongly depends from the meaning of the word “non-random”. I discovered my birthday inside. I know that it is a simple sign that I am predestinated to immortality, but I wonder how YOU discovered the fact.
  • It’s a (or one of several) mathematic equation(s). Of course it isn’t random.
  • Kyo no tenki wa, do?
  • My boss might non-randomly appear.
  • No! Of course not. Pi is a perfectly nice number, and he can’t help it that he just isn’t quite the same as most other figures. So why is it that you always leave him out when you’re forming teams? Nobody wears Pi on his shirt!
  • No, but if you go far enough in base 11, a 10*10 circle appears.
  • No, unless you are an anti-evolutionist who says nothing is random, everything has some “intelligent design” behind it . . .
  • No…..that’s why people feel the need to keep figuring out more digits.
  • None of the digits are random, as they all appear in pi consecutively.
  • Nothing random at all. The first 1,000 digits are always the same no matter how many times I calculate them.
  • Repetitititititition strain injury
  • Sometimes the letters “a” and “q” and the Japanese symbol for “spider” (or “bridge”) reappear, but no-one has considered this significant…yet.
  • That’s what we’re all trying to figure out.
  • The words “Bugger this.” Which is surprising, coming in the middle of a string of numbers.
  • Well, you get the first 1000 digits of pi, which aren’t random. There’s also a string …999999… but that’s also random, just earlier than you’d expect it.
  • Yeah, 1 (not 000).
  • Yes, I get a very non-random pain in my wrist.
  • Yes, if you look carefully you can see an alien spacecraft in the top left corner
  • Yes, I start to see spots in front of my eyes.
  • Yes, the pattern from the grip on the pen is indented in your fingers.
  • Yes, there’s only one decimal point
  • Yes, writers’ cramp.
  • Yes. There are 333 in a row.


  • “If you find the supplementary Pi questions 7-11 too difficult, just skip them.” Thank You!!!
  • A word of profound appreciation for the outstanding quality of question number five. On behalf of the numerous fans of Helmond Sport, nay the entire city of Helmond, we thank you Dr Bob.
  • Am I allowed to make a comment against Dr. Bob instead?
  • And Jesus said unto them: “Who do you say that I am?” And they replied, “You are the eschatological manifestation of the ground of our being, the kerygma of which we find the ultimate meaning in our interpersonal relationships.” And Jesus said unto them, “WHAT???!!”
  • And two time runner up Olav tries again!
  • Bleeehhhh..
  • Dear Dr. Bob: I have admired this site from afar [which is probably the best way to do so] … funnily enough I found it while doing a trivia competition. I nearly put in a response last month, but missed out (that damn Icelander girls question was too tricky). I feel like I’m an alien and I’ve found my own kind. I have never laughed so much as when I’m reading the ludicrous questions and answers on your website … I’m converted. Long live Dr. Bob and his followers shall we start a cult?). As long as I don’t have to promise my first born or give you all my worldly goods!
  • Do I get a prize for not having one correct answer?
  • Every cloud has a silver lining. Therefore, turn your cloud about, and always wear it inside out.
  • Here in Ohio, we’ve got some local anti-evolutionists who are trying to do a “Kansas” on Ohio; they’re trying to get the official state public education standards changed to weaken evolution education. One big difference, though: in Kansas, evolution was removed from the official standards. In Ohio, they’re trying to get the standards changed to allow “equal time” for “intelligent design.” Science supporters in Ohio like me are scrambling to stop this attempt to hurt science education in Ohio as it was in Kansas. We in Ohio would appreciate the moral support of science supporters around the world.
  • Hi Dr Bob. You have been so helpful with the homeopathic medicine advice and spelling instruction. I have been selling tap water as a “Genuine Australian Homeopathic Pain Reduction Compound” for $50 a bottle to everyone I know. I may hook up with the guy who sells oxygen pills except he is a little weird ( I wish I had thought of selling capsules filled with air.
  • How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon! (Poke him on!)
  • Hurrah for palindromic dates: 20/02/2002!
  • I wanted to be a water diviner but I could think of lots of fluids diviner than water. (Apologies to Lenny Lower)
  • If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of your nose.
  • I’m going to prove that these comments are optional by not writing anything.
  • I’m just making these up as I go along.
  • In Whitehorse Rd in Ringwood there is a sign that says “Dr Walters Vasectomy Centres”. Has anyone tried these Chocolates I prefer Caramello myself
  • Kermit the Frog for president.
  • My new medication appears to be working. The world is a much stabler place and everything seems happy. I can almost not hear all the voices in my head. Now there is one voice just chanting “Kill, Kill, Kill”.
  • Remember, it’s not stalking, it’s amateur surveillance.
  • Seeing as my answers are usually lambasted I tried to be a little more serious this time. Well a little anyway.
  • Six pi questions? Saucy devil!
  • The pi questions sucked a big one, Dr Bob. Like I’m going to work them out!!
  • Too many maths problems! Some of us are trying to AVOID maths by going on the internet.
  • Two hundred and fifteen minutes on this form, this month (researches included). I guess I’m taking it a bit too seriously….
  • u are excelent
  • U R STUPID AND FAKE [Can my readers see how the critical comments are always louder than the complementary ones?]
  • What’s my prize? Better be a good one or I’ll sue for emotional distress.
  • What’s the obsession with Pi this month? You must have been hungry. “Mmmmmmmmmm…. pie”.
  • Wonderful questions, dr Bob. Just where does this obsession with Pi come from?
  • Yet again I try to answer the questions but instead find lots of very weird fun-filled facts…
  • You have a palindromic first name. [And a palindromic personal pronoun]
  • Your quiz is either getting harder or I’m getting stupider. [Ah – this suggests another question that I can steal for a future quiz]