Answers for November 2011

ANSWERS for November 2011. Sorry a month late … WINNER is

Wen Di Mu Ni

Question 1

What animals would dine at Wilson’s Cafeteria?


E.O.Wilson set out various foods for ants, to see what foods they preferred.

Additional Answers

  • Do you mean Wilson Tuckey’s Cafeteria or Wilson’s Promontory Cafeteria? If the former, it’s peacocks and other howard-hating animals. If the latter, it’s smurfs and other blue skinned creatures. Bloody cold hole.
  • Eric Burdon, Chas Chandler, erm..Adam(?) Price. I’m out of names…
  • Humans was the most common I would assume, most places I go the animals Die not dine,
  • None; which animal could afford those prices nowadays?
  • Politicians

Question 2

In the 18th century when a cordial relationship had been agreed between some eastern states of the USA and the local Native Americans, the whites invited the hapless locals to send over some of their boys for “a classical education”. What was the reply?

Answer or

Additional Answers

  • “Sterculinum publicum! Hic sunt dracones!” Having demonstrated to the settlers that they already had a satisfactory classical education, the Native Americans executed a dignified withdrawal – to the Little Big Horn.
  • “Ouyay ustmay ebay okingjay…” (that’s in Pig Latin American…)
  • “We’ve already got one!”
  • Bugger off, religion, sorry we have enough with all these animal spirits cluttering up the place, you ever have a Buffalo Spirit in the tent, geez those things make a mess
  • No thanks, it’s all greek to us. I’ll let my self out…
  • ‘You can KEEP your classical education, AND your TB and syphilis, but we could train some of your savage white boys to be men.’

Question 3

What book was said by “Field and Stream” magazine to contain “many pages of extraneous material” and thus be inferior to J.R.Miller’s “Practical Gamekeeping”?


Lady Chatterley’s Lover – a book “discussed by millions of people who did not normally discuss books”

Additional Answers

  • “Although written many years ago, Lady Chatterley’s Lover has just been reissued by the Grove Press, and this pictorial account of the day-to-day life of an English gamekeeper is full of considerable interest to outdoor minded readers, as it contains many passages on pheasant-raising, the apprehending of poachers, ways to control vermin, and other chores and duties of the professional gamekeeper. Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade through many pages of extraneous material in order to discover and savour those sidelights on the management of a midland shooting estate, and in this reviewer’s opinion the book cannot take the place of J. R. Miller’s `Practical Gamekeeping.’” – Ed Zern, from “Field and Stream,” November, 1959
  • What book was said by “Field and Stream” magazine to contain “many pages of extraneous material” and thus be inferior to J.R.Miller’s Practical Gamekeeping? Ah, Mellors! ‘Anagrams include: ‘meek poser, large helmet’ and ‘male geek here, let’s romp’, and add Oliver to get: “premise: “Hello!” Make love. Regret.” The keeper, squatting beside her, was also watching with an amused face the bold little bird in her hands. Suddenly he saw a tear fall on to her wrist. And he stood up, and stood away, moving to the other coop. For suddenly he was aware of the old flame shooting and leaping up in his loins, that he had hoped was quiescent for ever. He fought against it, turning his back to her. But it leapt, and leapt downwards, circling in his knees.’ If that’s not an intro to practical bird-keeping, I don’t know what is.
  • Sounds like the Compleat Angler but it could be the Bible, which has much to say about killing things as well as containing extraneous material dealing with peace & love & mung beans. As a nearby Native American opined, “Homo multarum literarum, homo unius libri est.”
  • Impractical Gamekeeping.
  • The Boys’ Guide to not killing everything in sight

Question 4

What vessel sank the submarine USS Tang in 1944?


USS Tang

Additional Answers

  • I confess to googling this one, so I know that the real answer is itself from its own torpedo. But it is a little known fact that a nearby Native American said “Sic transit gloria mundi” as the gallant sub sank to the bottom.
  • “Tang was sunk during the last engagement by a circular run of her final torpedo.” First time I heard of a boomerang torpedo! In this case—BOOMerang…
  • A massive intake of water.
  • Itself, from a ‘circular torpedo path’. Whoopsies!
  • Knowing this quiz, i would hazard a guess at the USS Tang.
  • The USS Tang in an engagement fired upon the dastardly enemy submarine the USS Tang sinking it, alas the Tang in sinking the tang also took the same hit as the Tang and alas as they celebrated their victory over the evil Tang the crew of Tang sank. Ok ok they shot themselves with a circling torpedo

Question 5

The ten avatars of the Hindu god Vishnu are: fish, tortoise, hog, lion, dwarf, ram, Purushu ram, Krishna, horse, and finally “kalki avtara” (“another one yet to come”). Who was claimed to have been this tenth avatar?


(sorry) Some German bloke

Additional Answers

  • Easy. It’s the flame goddess herself, Pauline Gillard (or was that Julia Hanson??). As a passing Native American remarked, “Flamma Vishnu est proxima!”
  • “The next avatar of Vishnu will be Kalki, ‘the white horse’; it will appear at a moment during the coming 428 centuries of Kali Yuga, the present age of the world.”
  • James Cameron discovered him on some planet far far away where you search for the amazing substance known as “crappyscriptium”
  • JC.
  • Sean Connery in the Hunt for Red October.
  • Some big notin’ spiritualists i would think. Sai Baba comes to mind. Gives “magic” ash to the poor and gold necklaces to the rich. Wanker.

Question 6

What event is this?


Is Russian Army. Is Russian Army Beauty Competition for Female Soldiers.

Additional Answers

  • In short: “”Beauties in Shoulder Straps”: Miss Russian Army 2005”. Some more words: “In late June, the Russian army held a beauty contest, “Beauties in Shoulder Straps,” and picked Kseniya Agarkova out of 18 other soldiers to wear a crown along with her combat boots and Kalashnikov rifle.”
    The full story under “Russia: Army Puts On A Pretty Face” is in
  • It’s the closing ceremony of the very first G20 meeting, held in 17th century America. The assembled world leaders professed peace and love but their uniforms were a bit of a giveaway to the local Native Americans in the audience. One was heard to exclaim “Veni, vedi, ve don’t trust you bastards” as he strode from the meeting to go sharpen up his Caesar and his arrows.
  • A moonie wedding, russian style.
  • The annual mass-marriage of the mole-people.
  • The recreation of Volga, Volga, and soon all the brides will be chucked into the river
  • Ultimate x-factor, a reality show based on not only singing and dancing and basically giving washed up nobody judges a chance at a sliver of pseudo-celebrity but also on drill, dressing in very scratchy clothing and shooting other contestants. The Russian federation found that the popular vote for military x-factor often required they shoot judges as well as contestants. Of course Action-Putin put a stop to the show as he wasn’t asked to sing and dance and judge and basically show everyone how super he was.


Have a go!

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