Questions for June 2017

AS READERS MIGHT DETECT, I am scraping the bottom of the barrel in which I store my future quiz questions; also I am going overseas yet again in July, so there may not be more of these for a while. But here goes.

  1. The Old Bedford River had a six-mile drainage canal that was so long and straight that you would not be able to see a boat at the other end because of the Earth’s curvature. So, why was this place often visited by flat-earth believers?
  2. When Brunel had completed the construction of the mighty iron ship SS Great Britain and had launched it, what major problem was encountered?
  3. Big Ben is the hour bell of the clock in the Palace of Westminster; the clock’s clockwork mechanism is wound up 3 times a week; how long does it take a man to wind it up?
  4. Complete this quote: “Inviting the object of your desire back to your place for the first time, pouring some drinks, dimming the lights, then switching on the stereo and playing [one of Captain Beefheart’s records] would surely be the precursor to …”
  5. In 1915 the Melbourne Police organised dozens of simultaneous raids on illegal alcohol establishments in Fitzroy.  The raids were synchronised to happen when the Fitzroy Town Hall clock struck midnight. What happened at midnight?

 

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5 comments

  1. I’d better put the real answers before I go overseas YET AGAIN. I’ve been O/S twice since the flaming questions were put up …

    (1) Earth’s curvature along a six-mile drainage canal
    – Due to atmospheric refraction you could see the objects at the other end quite clearly. You’d think someone would open a cafe for flat-earthers, with hamburgers, pancakes, biscuits and other flat foodstuffs (and conspiracies) likelty to sell to flat earthers.?

    (2) When Brunel had completed the construction of the mighty iron ship SS Great Britain and had launched it, what major problem was encountered?
    – It was too big to get out of the dockyard.

    (3) Big Ben is the hour bell of the clock in the Palace of Westminster; the clock’s clockwork mechanism is wound up 3 times a week; how long does it take a man to wind it up?
    – 90 minutes. Unless he’s on strike of course, which has happened and the famous bell that Hitler failed to silence was silenced by a trade union. Oh, hello Mr Godwin …

    (4) “Inviting the object of your desire back to your place for the first time, pouring some drinks, dimming the lights, then switching on the stereo and playing [one of Captain Beefheart’s records] would surely be the precursor to …”
    – An evening spent alone

    (5) In 1915 the Melbourne Police organised dozens of simultaneous raids on illegal alcohol establishments in Fitzroy. The raids were synchronised to happen when the Fitzroy Town Hall clock struck midnight. What happened at midnight?
    – The villains, having got word of this scheme (from the mayor and the police) got into the Town Hall clock tower and stopped the bell from striking. And then life continued as normal.

    Must do more Q’s …. Happy Xmas and new year …

  2. — The Old Bedford River had a six-mile drainage canal that was so long and straight that you would not be able to see a boat at the other end because of the Earth’s curvature. So, why was this place often visited by flat-earth believers?

    They swore they could see boats floating at the other end of the canal, even though their calculations said they should not be able to. What they didn’t know was the meniscus curve of the water at each end of the canal compensated for the curve of the Earth. That and the bending of light rays through the water vapour above the canal.

    — When Brunel had completed the construction of the mighty iron ship SS Great Britain and had launched it, what major problem was encountered?

    The biggest problem was the stinking one-star Agoda review by Scientific American for the new propeller. They didn’t like it.

    — Big Ben is the hour bell of the clock in the Palace of Westminster; the clock’s clockwork mechanism is wound up 3 times a week; how long does it take a man to wind it up?

    Wind up what? Big Ben? Depends on how much sleep he didn’t have the night before. But some of my sick-puppy jokes will wind up eben the happiest of people!

    — Complete this quote: “Inviting the object of your desire back to your place for the first time, pouring some drinks, dimming the lights, then switching on the stereo and playing [one of Captain Beefheart’s records] would surely be the precursor to …”

    …A night at Dr Bob’s Palaise de Astrolabe?

    — In 1915 the Melbourne Police organised dozens of simultaneous raids on illegal alcohol establishments in Fitzroy. The raids were synchronised to happen when the Fitzroy Town Hall clock struck midnight. What happened at midnight?

    The cops were so thoroughly maggoty-moldy pissed in the gin-joints and red-light houses that they never heard the chimes. Or just couldn’t give a fuck anyway.

  3. (Scraping the bottom of the barrel? Beneath the barrel more like)

    The Old Bedford River had a six-mile drainage canal that was so long and straight that you would not be able to see a boat at the other end because of the Earth’s curvature. So, why was this place often visited by flat-earth believers?

    SIX MILES (10 kilometers away?). You’d be lucky to spot the Queen Mary at that distance, let alone a canal boat. So didn’t affect their beliefs in the slightest.

    When Brunel had completed the construction of the mighty iron ship SS Great Britain and had launched it, what major problem was encountered?

    Up until that time his background was building wooden ships. To his horror he discovered steel “wooden” float…..

    Big Ben is the hour bell of the clock in the Palace of Westminster; the clock’s clockwork mechanism is wound up 3 times a week; how long does it take a man to wind it up?

    German watchmaker: “Vee haff vays und means of making you tock!”
    Big Ben: “Very funny Hans. Yet another one your stupid wind-ups?”

    Complete this quote: “Inviting the object of your desire back to your place for the first time, pouring some drinks, dimming the lights, then switching on the stereo and playing [one of Captain Beefheart’s records] would surely be the precursor to …”

    Or the New Zealand / Welsh version your invite her back to the shearing shed, put some sheep dip behind your ears, look for a soft hedge and play some “Baaaa -ch” instead.

    In 1915 the Melbourne Police organised dozens of simultaneous raids on illegal alcohol establishments in Fitzroy. The raids were synchronised to happen when the Fitzroy Town Hall clock struck midnight. What happened at midnight?

    Be reasonable now. How do you expect Plod to find enough time to first get away from the knocking shops in St Kilda which close at midnight?

  4. 1. The angle of incidence = the angle of distraction. What you see ain’t necessarily what you get.

    2. The water displaced caused major flooding in Bangladesh. The major major problem was Bangladesh didn’t exist at the time and the water was lost in an ocean gyre. (Double word bonus for gyre).

    3. Not too long. After a few lagers and the taunt “Call yourself a bell?” it’s pretty easy to wind it up.

    4. Compulsory detention under the Mental Health Act.

    5. Cinderella’s pumpkin turned back into her genitalia. But as she had been at the Ball with Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater, she was rather glad to escape his constant tongue-lashing.

  5. 1. “Maybe this time I’ll see the ship all the way to the end. Last time I couldn’t because of fog, and the time before that it was….”
    2. The iron ship, being highly magnetised, could only travel north/south
    3. “But I am no man”
    4. a great episode of the Simpsons
    5. a) daylight saving
    b) a strike over Sunday penalty rates
    c) the establishments gave themselves up, saying “it’s a fair cop”

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