Questions for November

Derrr, I was interstate, or in some other state – in an alternate reality? Belatedly, here are my Nov questions. Feel free to post sarcastic comments. December questions will be better (and on time)

  1. During the Napoleonic Wars the British Army administered terrible floggings to offending soldiers, but these were found to be ineffective, bad for morale and, for that matter, they required quite a bit of effort to administer. What punishment was substituted?
  2. In 1941 the inhabitants of Leningrad, fearing destruction by the invading Germans, took down and buried or hid all their statues except one statue – whose?
  3. When you make a speech, you stand on a platform sometimes called a rostrum – where does the word derive from?
  4. Cinderella’s shoe – was it really made of glass? Surely, the Prince would have easily spotted anyone hopping about in a glass slipper.
  5. What colour is the skin of a polar bear? (under the white fur)
Advertisements

7 comments

  1. Dr Bob’s real answers:

    1. They were sent to New South Wales. I’d rather be flogged!

    2. A statue of the god, Mars. Because it was “his time”. The statue remained undamaged despite heavy German shelling of the city.

    3. The front prow of a ship. Captured ones were used for adorning such platforms.

    4. Fur in French is “vair”, which sounds like “verre” meaning glass

    5. Black (at least, for black polar bears)

  2. Q1. During the Napoleonic Wars the British Army administered terrible floggings…
    A1. Whoa, Dr Bob! Ineffective floggings were administered not ‘in the Napoleonic Wars’ but by the Napoleonic whores who flourished contemporaneously. And they weren’t bad for morale at all. Floggings with French feathers can be quite good after a hard day on the battlefield.
    Q2. In 1941 the inhabitants of Leningrad…
    A2. Gotta be Lenin’s statue, although it didn’t get destroyed & is now in the park outside St. Petersburg’s Finland Station (Finlyandskiy Vokzal). Really.
    Q3. When you make a speech, you stand on a platform sometimes called a rostrum…
    A3. “Rostrum” is an anagram of the better known (in Roman times) slogan “Rum Rots”. Because Roman temperance speakers used platforms in the Forum when declaiming to the masses on the evils of rum, and because most members of the masses disagreed but did not want to hurt the speaker’s feelings by saying so openly, the euphemism “Rostrum” was created to mean “a platform from which speakers say silly things with which their audience disagrees”. The meaning endures today.
    Q4. Cinderella’s shoe…
    A4. Like most royals across the world, the Prince was inbred and suffered a myopia that matched his IQ. He wouldn’t have spotted Cinderella if she’d been in his face and ten feet tall and naked, let alone walking awkwardly in a glass slipper.
    Q5. What colour is the skin of a polar bear?
    A5. The real answer is black, which every trivia aficionado knows. But a better answer is pink, as asserted by Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mick and Ti(t)ch above.

  3. 1.During the Napoleonic Wars the British Army administered terrible floggings to offending soldiers, but these were found to be ineffective, bad for morale and, for that matter, they required quite a bit of effort to administer. What punishment was substituted?

    * Just think lads in a couple of hundred years MPs will be paying good money for this kind of thing.

    2.In 1941 the inhabitants of Leningrad, fearing destruction by the invading Germans, took down and buried or hid all their statues except one statue – whose?

    * The Venus De Milo. Even shellfire isn’t likely to damage it any more than it is already.

    3.When you make a speech, you stand on a platform sometimes called a rostrum – where does the word derive from?

    * Rostrum you said? I always thought it was rectum. No wonder I kept falling off.

    4.Cinderella’s shoe – was it really made of glass? Surely, the Prince would have easily spotted anyone hopping about in a glass slipper.

    * I said I wanted her in a see-through SLIP, not a see-through slipper you useless Fairy Godmother !

    5.What colour is the skin of a polar bear? (under the white fur)

    * Bright pink of course. You’d blush too if everyone could see you were “bear” (bare)……

  4. 1. a) put them in chains (if you can’t beat them….)
    b) made them eat limes
    2. a) I guess the statue belonged to the USSR, that’s whose it was.
    b) from the other questions it had something to do with marine victories?
    3. Friends Romans countrymen, lend me your beaks.
    4. Having glass slippers before bandaids (or safety glass) were invented would limit the amount of dancing you could do.
    How come the glass slipper didn’t turn back into whatever it was made from at midnight? Sorry, logic question
    5. Really hard to give a sarcastic reply to this question; was it set up as a challenge, Dr Bob?

  5. 1. They were thrown into the abyss and received political realignment training in a process known as the Younger Pitt of Despair.

    2. The statue of the lesser known Soviet sculptor Uro Lagnia depicting Mannekin Pis keeping a Den lille Havfrue hydrated was considered to be a pretty piss weak example of the art form and deserving of dumping.

    3. It comes from the planet Ironia and means instead of talking through you nose (rostrum) you usually talk through your arse. (murtsor).

    4. Alongside it was a tiny glass dildo and the Prince said “Forget the big hoofed slapper, find me the lass who fits this”.

    5. Dunno and can’t be arsed finding out. Could it be the Colour of One Hand Fapping?

  6. (4) Bob I think you’ve missed the point. Once you go into fantasyland all physical and reality and even common-sense rules disappear. If you can have a fairy godmother turn a pumpkin into a coach and mice into horses, then it’s absolutely no problem having glass slippers which despite being so stand-out and sexy at the ball, yet in which Cinderella can still disappear into obscurity afterwards.

  7. Question #1. Field punishment #1. Curiously the illustration in the punishment description shows how to tie the feet with the image looking very much like a rabbit.

Have a go!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s