Questions for October 2014

Here, question for October, glorious revolutionary month – to these, is Russian theme. You write answer as comment. I cheerful feeling, therefore, I make special amnesty on wit and sarcasm, you not get sent to Siberia. I put real answers when committee approve.

  1. The days of the week, like all things in Russian, have gender. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday are masculine, whereas Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are feminine (and have feminine characteristics in reality – you’d clean the house, etc.) So far, so very egalitarian – but what gender is Sunday?
  2. And what is grammatically odd about the Russian word for a kangaroo?
  3. Ursula Andress’s costume when she came out of the water in Dr No. The belt (that stopped her shorts falling down) looked strangely familiar to Dr Bob, who was then a schoolboy. Where had he seen this before?
  4. Why was From Russia With Love, the 6th book, chosen as the second James Bond film?
  5. The standard Soviet cook book, The Book of Tasty and Healthy Food, was printed in 1939 and reprinted in 1953. What was one of the differences in the new edition?
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11 comments

  1. DR BOB’s ANSWERS –

    1. Sunday is neuter. Thus there are 3M, 3F, 1N days of the week demonstrating egalitarian fairness.

    2. They stole the word “kanguru” but it is unlike any other grammatical form for a Russian noun. So instead of inventing a whole new grammatical declension for it, they leave the word unchanged in all its grammatical forms.

    3. Dr Bob’s school ran a Combined Cadet Force, and the year 9 and 10 kids had to wear Army uniforms on Thursdays. An identical belt was holding Dr Bob’s trousers up (on Thursdays).

    4. President Kennedy said that From Russia With Love, was one of his favourite – woops, I meant favorite – novels.

    5. Most of the quotes from Stalin were taken out.

  2. 1. The days of the week, like all things in Russian, have gender. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday are masculine, whereas Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are feminine (and have feminine characteristics in reality – you’d clean the house, etc.) So far, so very egalitarian – but what gender is Sunday?

    What a country – the man’s surname ends in ‘OV’ but his wife’s / sister’s / mother’s ends ‘OVA’.
    God knows what they do with the days of the week.

    2. And what is grammatically odd about the Russian word for a kangaroo?

    Kangaroos are probably the equivalent of our ‘pink elephants’ seeing the amount of vodka they knock back.

    3. Ursula Andress’s costume when she came out of the water in Dr No. The belt (that stopped her shorts falling down) looked strangely familiar to Dr Bob, who was then a schoolboy. Where had he seen this before?

    Schoolboys never change – hoping the belt would come undone of course……!

    4. Why was From Russia With Love, the 6th book, chosen as the second James Bond film?

    Sean Connery had the serious hots for Daniela Bianci (his leading lady)

    5. The standard Soviet cook book, The Book of Tasty and Healthy Food, was printed in 1939 and reprinted in 1953. What was one of the differences in the new edition?

    Russian soldier: In the glorious Red Army we have 1500 calories of great food every day.
    British soldier: We get 2000 calories worth every day so we fight better
    American soldier: That’s nothing – we get 3000 calories a day – anything we like
    Russian soldier: Liars. How can one man eat so much cabbage?

  3. 1. On the first and third Sunday of the month, it is masculine in the morning and feminine in the evening, on the second and fourth Sunday, the opposite. This is in deference to equality.
    2. On the first and third Sunday of the month, it is masculine in the morning and feminine in the evening, on the second and fourth Sunday, the opposite. This is in deference to it jumping around.
    3. I assume that’s it’s only when you’re very young or elderly that you notice the belt. So, looking at it when old, you have a sense of deja vu.
    4. If in doubt… alphabetical order?
    5. No reference to Nasi Goering

  4. Actually my profile was still set to British time i.e. 11 hours BEHIND Melburnian reality. Honestly, living out here in the Colonies is so hard … it rained the other day, and there was a fly in my beer.

  5. Dr Bob, you seem to have adjusted your clock twice for daylight saving. Or are you just ahead of the rest of us?

  6. 1. It has to be neutral! The Russians, being such a fair-minded people as they are, wouldn’t want to tip the balance one way or the other, already having 3 masculine and 3 feminine days

    2.The pronounce it KANgaroo – i.e they have the empHASis on the wrong syllABLE

    3.In his wardrobe, next to that little black-off-the-shoulder-number, high heels and balaclava that he used to wear out on a Saturday night

    4. Because it was a good story and a great film

    5. No sauerkraut. Don’t mention the Great Patriotic War!!

  7. I shall desperately try to avoid this faux square-wheel Russian perpetuated by Hero of Soviet Union Dr Bob…….damn him!

    1. Clearly, the word “sun” rhymes” with “son”, indicating a masculine gender. But in Cyrillic, the word “son” is translated as “сын” pronounced “seen” or “sin”. So Sunday is sin-day, and what better sin than transgender sin! So it’s both masculine and feminine.
    2. The Russian word for a kangaroo translates to English as “crappy attempt at a cruise missile from the 1950’s”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kh-20
    3. It was a standard British army white webbed battledress belt, with a brass clasp. Usually worn by Military Police. So tentatively put…Dr B saw it smacking his bottom for being a naughty boy???
    4. Officially, according to Wikipedia anyway (always a reputable journal of record), JFK greatly admired the Fleming novel of the same name, leading to preferential selection by the producers. Unofficially, it was a barely concealed kick at the crotch of those pesky pinko atheist Russkies by the good guys and sons of light. Or should that be sins of light…
    5. In 1939 the Soviet cook book, The Book of Tasty and Healthy Food, contained recipes using Russian ingredients. In 1953, it contained recipes using Russian ingredients that were edible.

  8. 5. The later edition had two extra recipes> Please read these with Broken English accent, a la KAOS on Get Smart:

    Q: How you make Russian Omellete?
    A: First, steal two eggs.

    Q: How you make Russian Sandwich?
    A: Meat coupon between two bread coupons.

    Been waiting for a chance to sneak those in. Thanx, Dr Bob!

  9. Q1. The days of the week, like all things in Russian, have gender. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday are masculine, whereas Wednesday, Friday and Saturday are feminine (and have feminine characteristics in reality – you’d clean the house, etc.) So far, so very egalitarian – but what gender is Sunday?
    A1. One of the LGBTI choices, I imagine. You choose, Dr Bob – then I can’t be accused of discriminating against the ones not chosen.

    Q2. And what is grammatically odd about the Russian word for a kangaroo?
    A2. Everything in Russian is grammatically odd. Why single out the humble roo?

    Q3. Ursula Andress’s costume when she came out of the water in Dr No. The belt (that stopped her shorts falling down) looked strangely familiar to Dr Bob, who was then a schoolboy. Where had he seen this before?
    A3. In his father’s stash of ‘Playboy’ mags?

    Q4. Why was From Russia With Love, the 6th book, chosen as the second James Bond film?
    A4. Hmm, Mr Google tells me that ‘FRWL’ was the 5th book, while ‘Dr No’ was 6th. But one must not nitpick – Rosa Klebb was far and away the best Bond babe of them all and her early place in the Bond movie pantheon is well deserved.

    Q5. The standard Soviet cook book, The Book of Tasty and Healthy Food, was printed in 1939 and reprinted in 1953. What was one of the differences in the new edition?
    A5. The preface, written by the newly elevated Khrushchev, promoted borscht as the new world dish in a vain attempt to counter the evil capitalist hamburger’s insidious post-war advance across the planet. “Hamburger is a kroc”, trumpeted Khrushchev, without realising what would take place a mere two years later when Ray K first noticed Maccas.

  10. !. The Russian equivalent of Hermes is BOCK and Aphrodite is PeCeHbe. BOCKPeCeHbe is the Russian for sunday (note lower case) and coincidentally that day is also an hermaphrodite.

    2. Sounds like Kangaroo, spelling looks like sʞıppʎ.

    3. In the hand of a sociopathic, misopedic pedagogue of some fascio-religious persuasion.

    4. As part of the CIA’s Bay of Pigs invasion of Cuba in 1961, thousands of copies of the book were impregnated with toxins design to cause cigars to blow up and beards to fall out.
    As the books had been printed in Portuguese instead of Spanish they were largely ignored and proved less effective than some of the more brilliant ideas of that operation.

    5. The later edition had red cabbage as well as red potato. хорошо питаться.

    If by some strange chance any of this is vaguely true, ПростиTe I will pack for the gulag on the next gender specific noun day.

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