Questions for June 2014

Questions for June … PLEASE HAVE A GO – by posting a comment, preferably sarcastic – as I know the answers anyway; I’ll put the real answers up in early July. As you see, I am trying to find a clearer layout for this blog page.

  1. The late Lady Diana Spencer was convinced that she suffered from (among other things) lead poisoning. What gave rise to that belief?
  2. What would a genuine signature of Jesus Christ be worth on eBay?
  3. What rhymes with POETRY?
  4. Shakespeare wrote plays, sonnets, narrative poems, and other soppy stuff. What was his best-selling work in his lifetime?
  5. Why did Major Digby Tatham-Warter carry an umbrella into battle?
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14 comments

  1. DR BOB’S LONG AWAITED REAL ANSWERS –

    1. From a stabbing at school with a pencil point. Never mind that pencil “lead” is carbon, not Pb …

    2. Extrapolating from actual sales of signatures with reference to scarcity and date, it would be about $3.6 million

    3. None, really (but some nice tries here)

    4. The poem Venus and Adonis (1593) … almost pornographic in content

    5. He had trouble remembering passwords – but everyone knew it was him, because he carried an umbrella. That, and it might rain. And you can jab an enemy soldier angrily, with the pointed end. Or get inside one of the enemy’s buildings and then open it, bringing bad luck. Handy for carrying secret messages too, if it’s not raining. Really, I should get one.

  2. 1. The late Lady Diana Spencer was convinced that she suffered from (among other things) lead poisoning. What gave rise to that belief?
    – It was because Prince Charles was hanging around Camilla too much – who is a bit of a lead balloon… Especially in the Queen’s eyes.

    2. What would a genuine signature of Jesus Christ be worth on eBay?
    – About $12.56. Just more expensive than one of those paperback fresh King James Bibles.

    3. What rhymes with POETRY?
    – Floetry. Just go with it.

    4. Shakespeare wrote plays, sonnets, narrative poems, and other soppy stuff. What was his best-selling work in his lifetime?
    – The biggest tear jerker that comes to mind is the bible.

    5. Why did Major Digby Tatham-Warter carry an umbrella into battle?
    – He thought that if you spin it fast enough it would disorientate the customers.

  3. Sorry guys I am deep in the forests of Estonia, will put up July questions on about July 12th.

  4. The earlier late Diana Spencer wasted away towards her death, recorded as caused by tuberculosis…
    but then, so did the later late Diana Spencer waste visibly long before her death by accelerating metal…
    I couldn’t be arsed to read any more of the absolutely mind-numbingly boring wittering available online about both these women, so tossed a 2 buck coin and came up with heads=first Lady Diana. Would the woman have recorded anything rational about her suspicions of symptoms? She doesn’t appear to have left any primary documents behind.

    There’s no English homophone for poetry.
    Nor is there a true rhyme.
    But there are plenty of imperfect ones; I like the artistry of chemistry where industry will find you all kinds of imagery. Rappers unite; you have only yourselves to blame for all that effing lazy rhyming.

    Jesus of the New Testament Gospels didn’t want to call himself Christ.
    Would he then have signed himself as such?
    eBay prohibits antiquities, relics, all that kind of old stuff, being auctioned on its servers unless the goods have provenance similar to that required by museums and art galleries… not that provenance is all too carefully looked at by most gallery and museum staff.
    TLDR: No sig ‘Jesus Christ’ would be genuine, so would fetch zero on eBay.

    That ace piece of Elizabethan porn – Venus and Adonis (via the fairly rude Metamorphoses of Ovid) – was entirely the best-seller of Shakespeare’s age.
    Full of stuff like “she pushed him as she would be thrust” and other graphic sex, why wouldn’t it sell best, not only of Shakespeare’s own stuff but against all comers.

    Major Digby Tatha…… Oh for crying down the sink, I fell asleep putting all those impossibly British words into the search engine of my choice, and here I go again zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
    I bet he needed it to keep discipline. His own. Per his batman, sorry, brellyman.

    Stumbled in here while resting a gashed leg.
    Please forgive me if I’ve not adopted a sufficiently acid tongue.

  5. Dr Bob mentions Prizes and Honours and Awards and you immediately go Chief Brown Nose. That stinks and is breathtaking. Try and be more Noble,Tony, or I will let Oscar loose and throw a Book ‘er two and an Orange at you. And if you are really, really bad, I will throw Batman’s Robin at you. He was also A Ward.

  6. Well, Dr Bob, I can’t think of any clever comments this time around, but I must say, of all the years I have been reading and attempting your quiz, this month has had, without a shadow of a doubt, the highest standard of replies yet.

    With regard to your Q4, I do recall a great quote from Dr Who. The recent young Scottish one. He and his ladyfriend had gone to Shakeaspeare’s England.
    Ladyfriend (in awed voice): ” Are they men dressed as women?”
    The Doctor (gayly): “London never changes!!!”

    Ok, maybe “gayly” was not the best choice of adverbs there. But you know what I mean.

  7. 1.The late Lady Diana Spencer was convinced that she suffered from (among other things) lead poisoning. What gave rise to that belief?
    Lady Di was the Queen of Hearts at the Mad Hatter’s Tea Party and everyone knows the hatter was suffering from lead poisioning; or maybe it was mercury poisioning.

    2.What would a genuine signature of Jesus Christ be worth on eBay?
    I was in the rare book library at a Uni and I actually handled a medieval bible that was worth $100,000 or more, so I guess a signed copy by the author might be a few dollars more.

    3.What rhymes with POETRY?
    ORANGE

    4.Shakespeare wrote plays, sonnets, narrative poems, and other soppy stuff. What was his best-selling work in his lifetime?
    Did you know that in Shakespeare’s time the female roles were done by men? So using that as the base, I’d say his best seeling work would have been the Footy Show.

    5.Why did Major Digby Tatham-Warter carry an umbrella into battle?
    He wanted to provide a Broadway musical experience for those soldiers who did not want to partake of athletic pursuits like soccer during armisitce games. A visiting USO saw the act and eventually it was optioned for Hollywood and became Singing in the Rain. It was also the last case to be heard by the Commercial Division of the Nuremberg Trials, where he unsucessfuly sued for copyright infringement.

  8. “Nothing” could fit, but I’d probably give ten bob for a JC autograph. If it was under a useful statement like “The bearer of this note is permitted to sin as much as he or she likes” I’d give a bit more.

  9. If I didn’t not know you not better than I don’t know you, could not the answer “nothing” not fit into all the questions? I have not never learned nothing from no-one like Dr Bob!

  10. 1 The late Lady Diana Spencer was convinced that she suffered from (among other things) lead poisoning. What gave rise to that belief?
    Her steady decline in IQ, which lead ultimately to marrying a bloke who talked to the trees.

    2 What would a genuine signature of Jesus Christ be worth on eBay?
    If it was on his transcribed life story, ‘alf a dinari. ‘alf a shekel if it was on his alms.

    3 What rhymes with POETRY?
    License.

    4 Shakespeare wrote plays, sonnets, narrative poems, and other soppy stuff. What was his best-selling work in his lifetime?
    Tickets in the stalls.

    5 Why did Major Digby Tatham-Warter carry an umbrella into battle?
    As, on that day, it was cool in Goole, dry in Rhye, topping in Wapping, and the battle was in Lissing Down …

  11. 1. She had been putting on weight
    2. Which is the signature of Jesus Christ? Choose wisely. X (his mark), that’s the signature of a carpenter.
    3. It does? English is such a complex language.
    4. I made six pounds a day working from home
    5. More appropriate representation of England than a flag.

  12. Plum Bum. Damn, I wish I had thought of that..I am not worthy (bowing thingie)

  13. 1.The late Lady Diana Spencer was convinced that she suffered from (among other things) lead poisoning. What gave rise to that belief?
    A1. Because her sycophantic admirers told her she had an absolute plum of a bum.

    2.What would a genuine signature of Jesus Christ be worth on eBay?
    A2. Enough to pay out all compensation payments against his paedophilic priests.

    3.What rhymes with POETRY?
    A3. Antidisestablishmentarianism, but only if you say it quickly.

    4.Shakespeare wrote plays, sonnets, narrative poems, and other soppy stuff. What was his best-selling work in his lifetime?
    A4. A piece he wrote for a sellout edition of the ‘London Times’ called “Christopher Marlowe Didd Notte Write My Stuffe and Is a Compleat Arsehole.”

    5.Why did Major Digby Tatham-Warter carry an umbrella into battle?
    A5. To put as many spokes in the works of the enemy as possible.

  14. 1. In her youff, she went to a gig and got ‘it on ‘er ‘ead by a guitar. Coz it woznt the bass or rhythm, she got lead poisoning.
    2. Which Jesus Christ? The mythical biblical one or the many,many others of that name. You say potato I say zero.
    3. While attending a meeting of Rotary
    I bumped into our local town Notary
    His face was all broken
    “Hit a wall?’ I said jok’n
    He replied not a wall, no a tree.
    4. DIY Plumbing in Tudor Housing. Fings what I wrote as a Marlowe-Bacon Sandwich. Ye Yellowe Pages.
    5. The umbrella was plan B. Plan A, the giant helium balloon with the stenciled “Don’t Shoot
    Me, I Am Your Leader” didn’t survive the first volley of friendly fire.

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