Questions for February 2014

OK guys and gals, here are the February questions.  HAVE A GO at none or more of them, by posting a comment. I already know the answers, so please post something witty or sarcastic! I have to moderate the postings, but I will do that quickly and I will post the real answers in early March.

  1. Betty and Barney Hill were abducted and probed by space aliens in 1961; what part of Barney’s body were the aliens most interested in?
  2. Gypsies are said to be cheerful when it is raining, because they know that eventually the rain will cease and the sun will shine. How do they feel when the sun does shine?
  3. The Simpsons character Apu Nahasapeemapetilon claimed that he was known in India as Mr Memory, and had starred in 400 films; name one of them.
  4. Genghis Khan wrote a cordial letter to greet the (then) Pope; what nationality was that pope?
  5. Is it safe to drink beer that has been within the, er, scope of an atomic bomb explosion?
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12 comments

  1. DR BOB’s REAL ANSWERS –
    1. His false teeth!
    2. Sunshine makes them gloomy, because they know it will eventually rain
    3. “Here Comes Mr.Memory”
    4. Genghis’ letter confirmed that the Pope was Mongolian. (And thus subject to edicts, hordes etc like everybody else).
    5. It would be perfectly safe to drink. The Americans actually did an experiment! They got some beer, and an atom bomb, let the bomb off and then the beer was analysed, and presumably consumed by volunteers who were probably dissected afterwards. (They drank themselves legless?) Well what would rather they spent their money on doing?

  2. 1) His wallet.
    2) Philosophical, because at least if you’re digging the caravan out of the mud after all that damned rain, you won’t get wet doing it.
    3) I can’t remember.
    4) I googled pictures of the pope from that time, and have come to the conclusion that he was a Conehead. He probably got a lift to this planet with the same species of aliens that came to probe the Hills.
    5) What does it matter? If you’re close enough to ground zero for the beer to have been irradiated, you’re going to die anyway, so just drink the damned beer. Hell, drink the anti-freeze, it’s not going to make anything worse at that point.

    Furthermore… now I can’t get get past the idea that, not only is there somebody who wants to know how many chickens it would take to fill the Grand Canyon, there’s a site that will calculate it for you. Are there even 400 trillion chickens on the planet? Would it be possible to get all those chickens together in one place? Would it even be a good idea? Why would the chickens assemble like that? Why the Grand Canyon? WHAT DO THEY WANT???

  3. 1. Easy. His “back passage” as it is euphemistically called. I think it is also known as a “wormhole” – hence link to interstellar travel
    2.Round our way they watch SKY TV in the 200ft caravan, rain or shine
    3. “Leper in the Backfield” Or was that Troy McLure?
    4. Dalmation: it was Eastern Orthodox?
    5. Quite safe only if it was contained in a refridgerator. After all Indiana Jones survived the atom blast within one?

  4. 1. Bollocks. They are, after all, central to this story.
    2. So Romani-tic they are about to de-sinti-grate.
    3. Short Circuit.
    4. Canadian. Not even Genghis Khan can be mean to a Canadian.
    5. You just walked inside the scope of an atomic bomb explosion, you moron! One beer is not going to make any difference, so drink up.

  5. 1) Barney, much like Krusty the Clown, has a vestigial 3rd nipple. Even BEM’s like a v3n.
    2) Probed. They got the question wrong.
    3) How Green was my Valium.
    4) I’m guessing Egyptian, presumably coptic. Nigerian would be funnier, but less likely.
    5) Its probably as safe to drink beer as it is to do anything else, and significantly more comforting.

  6. (a) Why is what how?
    (b) Why not?
    (c) Why on earth not?
    (d) Science does not ask why, only how.
    (e) How!

  7. 1.Betty and Barney Hill were abducted and probed by space aliens in 1961; what part of Barney’s body were the aliens most interested in?
    A. If Barney’s telling the story, it’ll be his winky dinky; if Betty is telling the story, it’ll be anything but that. I’ll guess his belly button. It was an inny and he didn’t clean it regularly and it was proper gross.

    2.Gypsies are said to be cheerful when it is raining, because they know that eventually the rain will cease and the sun will shine. How do they feel when the sun does shine?
    A. Vindicated. Or persecuted as racists only come out when it’s not raining.

    3.The Simpsons character Apu Nahasapeemapetilon claimed that he was known in India as Mr Memory, and had starred in 400 films; name one of them.
    A. The 39 Steps (maybe not Alfred Hitchcock’s original version though as there were no yellow men in that one, it being in black and white).

    4.Genghis Khan wrote a cordial letter to greet the (then) Pope; what nationality was that pope?
    A. I can’t get past reading ‘cordial’ as the drink rather than being polite. If he was a pope when it was written, then surely he was omniscient or whatever it is that God’s reps are on earth.

    5.Is it safe to drink beer that has been within the, er, scope of an atomic bomb explosion?
    A. If you’ve been with the beer during the explosion, then I’d say you’ve got no worries. And probably yes even if you weren’t. It’s beer. You don’t waste it.

  8. By the way, you can also type things like how many chickens would it take to fill the Grand Canyon and get answers from Wolframalpha. The bad news for me is that I don’t have 400 trillion chickens.

  9. 1. Betty and Barney Hill were abducted and probed by space aliens in 1961; what part of Barney’s body were the aliens most interested in?

    A. I know which part of the aliens Benny Hill was most interested in.

    2. Gypsies are said to be cheerful when it is raining, because they know that eventually the rain will cease and the sun will shine. How do they feel when the sun does shine?

    A. Warm.

    3. The Simpsons character Apu Nahasapeemapetilon claimed that he was known in India as Mr Memory, and had starred in 400 films; name one of them.

    A. Whatever. I started googling the answer and ended up more interested in the base 8 expansion of pi. You can even type things like convert pi^2 to base 8 in Wolframalpha if you are procrastinating in taking a quiz that you are taking to procrastinate from your real work.

    4. Genghis Khan wrote a cordial letter to greet the (then) Pope; what nationality was that pope?

    A: Vaticanish.

    5. Is it safe to drink beer that has been within the, er, scope of an atomic bomb explosion?

    A: Wouldn’t stop me if it weren’t.

  10. Betty and Barney Hill were abducted and probed by space aliens in 1961; what part of Barney’s body were the aliens most interested in?
    A: His anal sphincter – where his head must have been inserted to spout such bollocks.

    Gypsies are said to be cheerful when it is raining, because they know that eventually the rain will cease and the sun will shine. How do they feel when the sun does shine?
    A: DRY !

    The Simpsons character Apu Nahasapeemapetilon claimed that he was known in India as Mr Memory, and had starred in 400 films; name one of them.
    A: Doctor doctor I think I’m losing my hearing. What are the symptoms? It’s a TV show about this little yellow family……

    Genghis Khan wrote a cordial letter to greet the (then) Pope; what nationality was that pope?
    A: American of course. As that famous Texan senator was wont to say when objecting to the teaching of foreign languages in schools “If English was good enough for our Lord Jesus Christ then it’s good enough for me”

    Is it safe to drink beer that has been within the, er, scope of an atomic bomb explosion?
    A: Warm beer? Yuk!

  11. 1. His Rubble and his Flintstones.

    2. Hot, thirsty and light fingered.

    3. Night of the Day of the Dawn of the Son of the Bridge of the Return of the Revenge of the Terror of the Attack of the Evil, Mutant, Alien, Flesh Eating, Hellbound, Zombified Living Dead Part 2:

    4. If the letter was written in cordial, was the Pope Cordialian?

    5. Probably safer than the water. Just don’t drink it ’till you fallout of the Black Rain Hotel.

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