Questions for January 2014

Happy New Year to all my readers!! Voici, les questions pour Januaire deux-mille quatorze.  PLEASE HAVE A GO – by posting a comment. I already know the answers, so post something witty or sarcastic! I have to moderate the postings, but I will do that quickly and I will post the real answers in early February.

  1. Who was the the only major classical painter known to have murdered someone?
  2. Who was Exapno Mapcase better known as? (extra points if you get this without Googling it)
  3. Did Harpo Marx ever speak in a movie?
  4. Accommodation is not exactly plentiful on Pitcairn Island, but many lawyers arrived for the child abuse trials – where did they sleep?
  5. Canada Post processes a lot of letters to Santa Claus at the North Pole, and they had to assign a Canadian postcode (6 characters, alternating letters and numbers) to the North Pole. What was it?
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12 comments

  1. DR BOB’s EFFORT –

    1. Caravaggio (but not on the plane)
    2. Harpo Marx, written in Cyrillic – XАРПО МAРКС
    3. Yes, he spoke one line but it was in a silent movie – the audience saw his lips move but had to read the words on a title card. He also snoze an audible sneeze in At the Circus (1939)
    4. In the jail – what better place?
    5. H0H0H0
  2. 1. Ásgrímur Jónsson. (Rule 1: When in doubt pick something Icelandic.)
    2. Obviously an anagram: Expose a Pac Man. Pac Man.
    3. [Flips coin]. No.
    4. They slept with the defendants. Well, they didn’t SLEEP with the defendants, except when they did.
    5. I wanted to make an Old MacDonald joke. E1E1O is short a character though. I could try to work V4G1N4 into a wise crack, but I don’t want to work blue.

  3. Hi Dr Bob. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Looks like I’ve missed a few easy ones!

    1. Caravaggio was a nasty, nasty man. Very low tolerance for critics. Set the profession back for several decades.
    2. I cheated, BUT I do have the book and have read it, though many years ago and didn’t recognise the reference until I retrieved the book from a box in the attic, along with other treasures like Goon show scripts, Adolf Hitler, My part in his Downfall etc etc. Picked a good box to open. Honkski Honkski!.
    3) Vocally no, but there is some evidence that a voice card appeared in a silent movie “Too Many Kisses” with him saying to a man with both legs amputated and his hands chained to the wall “You sure you can’t move?”. it seems he might have also sneezed in “At the Circus”, but it could have been a harp string breaking.
    4) Hmmmm. All sorts of answers spring to mind here Dr Bob. The Dunrootin Retirement Village, The Leo Otway Home for the Bewildered, The Thieves and Other Miscreants Aged Care Facility etc etc. Not sure if any of them have branches on Pitcairn, so it was probably just the local prison, although the Leo Otway home is a personal favourite of long standing.
    5) H0H0H0 Dr Bob! You Jolly Joker! Everyone knows Santa Claus’s postcode. No need for me to tell you or somewhere north of 400,000,000 kids will line up to garrote me.

  4. Dear george, Alas, no saints in my family tree, or, as I like to call it, my family cactus (because it has so many pricks).

  5. Dear Eulalia, an uncommon moniker. Are you related to Saint Penguinstretcher perchance?

  6. Q: Who was the the only major classical painter known to have murdered someone?
    A: Hitler. A ‘classically awful painter’.

    Q: Who was Exapno Mapcase better known as? (extra points if you get this without Googling it)
    A: An anagram of “SPACEMAN POX” (OK plus a couple of ‘A’s for the picky.

    Q: Did Harpo Marx ever speak in a movie?
    A: ‘Who farted?’. When all three were locked in the cupboard “Room Service” (1938)

    Q: Accommodation is not exactly plentiful on Pitcairn Island, but many lawyers arrived for the child abuse trials – where did they sleep?
    A: Lawyers are perfectly capable of sleeping underwater (with the rest of the scum-sucking bottom-feeders.

    Q: Canada Post processes a lot of letters to Santa Claus at the North Pole, and they had to assign a Canadian postcode (6 characters, alternating letters and numbers) to the North Pole. What was it?
    A: No idea apart from that the last character would have to be ‘A’. Ever heard a Canadian speak without ending a sentence ending in ‘eh’? [Dr Bob, him say – That’s how the first settlers named the country-
    “What shall we call this place? John, you’ve got a Scrabble set, get out the bag of letters”
    “OK Ken, but a moose has eaten all the vowels.”
    “Well, go ahead anyway, we’re desperate”
    “OK here goes ‘C’, eh! ‘N’, eh! ‘D’, eh!” …. ]

  7. 1) It was Caravaggio, but he was desperate: he was baroque, and he needed the Monet.

    2) This question is giving me a headache – I need a Mop Sex Panacea…

    3) Only to those who could lip-read. HONK HONK!

    4) They selected a building where they could keep their wallets under lock and key, and their backs to a very solid wall.

    5) This task was, unfortunately, assigned to an employee who had been hiding his dyslexia for many years, which is why so many Canadian children sent their letters postcoded to 4S4T4N. Strangely enough, there weren’t many puppies or kittens as Christmas presents that year, but an unusually high number of black goats.

    Further ramblings: It is my New Year’s resolution to do more of Dr Bob’s Quizzes this year. That, or start a refuge for black goats who are dumped when people realise that sacrificing them will leave terrible stains on the carpet. Hell, maybe I’ll do both.

  8. 1. The John McEnroe of the Renaissance , Mich da Car took a tennis temper tantrum a bit far.
    2. Having read his book, I do know this one. I will keep shtum for the duration.
    3. Yes. No. Maybe?
    4. At the Christian Brothers Child Minding Centre and Hoosegow.
    5. 0h0h0h!!!

  9. Dear Doctor Bob, … I have read Harpo Marx’s autobiography – Harpo Speaks – in the unlikely event that you haven’t read the book, I can thoroughly recommend it as a great read. It provides a wonderful insight into life in the tenements of New York at the turn of the 20th century, on the vaudeville circuit at its peak, the Broadway of the 1920s, and the Hollywood of the 30s and 40s. (As a sidebar It’s just occurred to me that you remind me a bit of Oscar Levant – the polymath part – but I don’t know if you play the piano. Oscar lived in Harpo’s house at one stage.) I found particularly memorable the chapters on Harpo’s tour of the Soviet Union in the 1930s and his transit through Hitler’s Germany. I have a memory of reading somewhere – not sure if it was in this book – that there was a piece filmed of Harpo doing a Patsy Brannigan-like spiel (a vaudeville persona) for the end of one of the movies – no idea which one – but the decision was made not to include it.

  10. 1. Manetslaughter
    2. A sex-cop ape-man (I didn’t google this, extra point please)
    3. Yes. Inconsiderate Tosser. I threw popcorn at him.
    4. ‘Child Abuse Trials’? Are they like horse trials or the Rainhill Trials? Am I alone at thinking this is not the kind of thing lawyers should be involved in? 😦
    5. It was tiresomely trite.

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