Questions for November 2013

Belated, sorry, here are the questions for November 2013.  PLEASE HAVE A GO – by posting a comment. I already know the answers, so post something witty or sarcastic! I have to moderate the postings, but I will try to do that quickly. The real answers will appear in December.

  1. Which President of the United States was good at ventriloquism?
  2. Convicts in the appalling prison colony of Norfolk Island managed to build a boat, circa 1788, and nearly escaped to Tahiti. What would probably have happened if they had succeeded?
  3. Why is there an unusually extensive anti-Nazi memorial at Khatyn (Cyrillic: Хаты́нь) just outside Minsk?
  4. What’s remarkable about the Biblical verse 7:21 …. oh OK, I’ll quote it for you: And I, even I Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily.
  5. Kelly Cahill, of Melbourne, was visited by UFO aliens in 1993; what was their message to her?
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7 comments

  1. DR BOB’S ANSEWERS (sic)

    1. JFK – among his many other talents, official and unofficial. Let me be sad now, 50 years ago and what a loss.
    2. On reaching Tahiti they would have met HMS Bounty, on its way out, and been recaptured and clapped in irons, but thereupon their first-hand tales of prison life would have discouraged the prospective mutineers from carrying out any Mutinies on the Bounty or suchlike, and Captain Bligh would get away yet again with being a complete bastard.
    3. Sorry, this is ghastly and then beyond ghastly. Yes, Khatyn, in (now) Belarus was one of thousands of villages obliterated by the invading Germans. Katyn however, without the guttural ‘h’ and down the road in Poland, was the site of the notorious Soviet massacre of Poles before the Germans got there … so post-war and until 1992, when people asked about Katyn, the Russians would say “Ah yes, you mean KHatyn” and take them there instead. It has thus been described as “an Orwellian memory hole”.
    4. You got it, old-wombat – it is panalphabetic, or at least the only such verse that can be found when “i” and “j” combined. Hey, give me a break (says god) it’s hard enough to divinely inspire a whole Bible without wanting gems like that implanted in it!
    5. Space aliens came here all the way from their planet to tell Kelly Cahill “Look under the car”. The muffler was working loose, so this was indeed good cosmic advice for the benefit of humanity, albeit somewhat lacking the broad scope and lofty tone which we humans have come to expect in such communications.

  2. 1: Bob, on this 50th anniversary of the event, are you trying to say that it was only a ventro’s dummy that was assassinated in Dallas? Man, that’s the best Kennedy conspiracy I have EVER heard !!!!

    2: Well it probably wouldn’t have been called Tahiti, that’s for sure. And what does “nearly escaped” mean? Is that like “slightly pregnant”?

    3: Not really prepared to give a funny answer for this one.

    4: It’s one of those verses to remember the digits of Pi. Let’s see…. 3.141 (so far so good)… 10 3 4. Ahh, no. What about …It’s got every letter of the alphabet in it. Let’s see….Nope, no ‘j’

    5: “Don’t tell anyone we were here”.

  3. Q1.Which President of the United States was good at ventriloquism?
    A1. Nixon tried hard but sullied his reputation by spitting the dummy.

    Q2.Convicts in the appalling prison colony of Norfolk Island managed to build a boat, circa 1788, and nearly escaped to Tahiti. What would probably have happened if they had succeeded?
    A2. They probably would have succeeded in escaping to Tahiti.

    Q3.Why is there an unusually extensive anti-Nazi memorial at Khatyn (Cyrillic: Хаты́нь) just outside Minsk?
    A3. To rewrite history as to who was responsible for the local massacre.

    Q4.What’s remarkable about the Biblical verse 7:21 …. oh OK, I’ll quote it for you: And I, even I Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily.
    A4. It’s the first written record of a king letting a priest spend whatever public monies he likes while leaving the treasurer responsible. All subsequent kings and most subsequent prime ministers have been equally irresponsible, whether the priest is from a traditional religion (Christianity; Islam; Jewish; Baha’i; Buddhist…) or a modern one (Warmist; Sexist; ABCist; Car Industryist…).

    Q5.Kelly Cahill, of Melbourne, was visited by UFO aliens in 1993; what was their message to her?
    A5. “Oooo Kelly, Kelly, join all the other nutcases and barrack for Collingwood…”

  4. • Which President of the United States was good at ventriloquism?

    The Magic prequel starring Lincoln and exonerating Booth was real?

    • Convicts in the appalling prison colony of Norfolk Island managed to build a boat, circa 1788, and nearly escaped to Tahiti. What would probably have happened if they had succeeded?

    Metro-Goldwyn Mayer would have saved $19 million.

    • Why is there an unusually extensive anti-Nazi memorial at Khatyn (Cyrillic: Хаты́нь) just outside Minsk?

    The Belarusians were literally decimated by the war. Actually, they were decimated two and a half times. I don’t feel like being funnier here.

    • What’s remarkable about the Biblical verse 7:21 …. oh OK, I’ll quote it for you:And I, even I Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily.

    Persians encouraging Jews to build is remarkable by today’s standards, I guess.

    • Kelly Cahill, of Melbourne, was visited by UFO aliens in 1993; what was their message to her?
    Are you looking for a little extra money, a little extra time, or both? Rich DeVos and Jay Van Andel started Amway to help entrepreneurs like you do just that, by providing you a way to start your own business.

  5. 1.Which President of the United States was good at ventriloquism?

    Lyndon Johnson or Tricky Dicky (Richard Nixon not Dick Smith). I’m guessing the cold war was a big time for puppet governments.

    2.Convicts in the appalling prison colony of Norfolk Island managed to build a boat, circa 1788, and nearly escaped to Tahiti. What would probably have happened if they had succeeded?

    They probably would have run into Errol Flynn doing pre-production for his upcoming Mutiny on the Bounty film.

    3.Why is there an unusually extensive anti-Nazi memorial at Khatyn (Cyrillic: Хаты́нь) just outside Minsk?

    Poor people – the wole town was killed by Nazis. These days you’d just set up a licenced club with poker machines and cheap all-you-can-eat food and that would be just as effective in killing a whole town.

    4.What’s remarkable about the Biblical verse 7:21 …. oh OK, I’ll quote it for you: And I, even I Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily.

    It is the first known combined ethical pronouncement from the CPA/Charted Accountants. It also goes some way to explaining why so many christians are accountants or work in the tax office.

    5.Kelly Cahill, of Melbourne, was visited by UFO aliens in 1993; what was their message to her?

    Their message was not in English, so she thought it was fake. Everyone knows from countless movies and TV shows that aliens only speak in English to earthlings.

    I’m still trying to work out what your theme is this month, Bob.

  6. 1.Which President of the United States was good at ventriloquism?
    A: George W Bush, but he played the part of the dummy, not the ventriloquist
    2.Convicts in the appalling prison colony of Norfolk Island managed to build a boat, circa 1788, and nearly escaped to Tahiti. What would probably have happened if they had succeeded?
    A: Can’t improve on Dave Dee’s answer above
    3.Why is there an unusually extensive anti-Nazi memorial at Khatyn (Cyrillic: Хаты́нь) just outside Minsk?
    A: It’s the site of a massacre where both the victims and most of the perpetrators were Russians. However not being versed in Cyrillic I don’t know how well, if at all, this is explained at the memorial.
    4.What’s remarkable about the Biblical verse 7:21 …. oh OK, I’ll quote it for you: And I, even I Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily.
    A: A copy of Artaxerxes’ decree survives in a Babylonian Royal Archive accidentally uncovered during one of the bombings of the past decade or two
    5.Kelly Cahill, of Melbourne, was visited by UFO aliens in 1993; what was their message to her?
    A: We love it here in Dandenong. We think we might blend in without anyone really noticing…

  7. Which President of the United States was good at ventriloquism?
    A: Richard Nixon and George Bush. Both talked out of their arse.

    Convicts in the appalling prison colony of Norfolk Island managed to build a boat, circa 1788, and nearly escaped to Tahiti. What would probably have happened if they had succeeded?
    A: Duh – they would reached Tahiti?

    Why is there an unusually extensive anti-Nazi memorial at Khatyn (Cyrillic: Хаты́нь) just outside Minsk?
    A: Given that 20 million Russians perished during WW2, a pro-Nazi memorial might have been considered as being in somewhat bad taste.

    What’s remarkable about the Biblical verse 7:21 …. oh OK, I’ll quote it for you: And I, even I Artaxerxes the king, do make a decree to all the treasurers which are beyond the river, that whatsoever Ezra the priest, the scribe of the law of the God of heaven, shall require of you, it be done speedily.
    A: It’s Moronic Gibberish of the Year Award Time and you have just one first prize.

    Kelly Cahill, of Melbourne, was visited by UFO aliens in 1993; what was their message to her?
    A: Kelly baby. Drugs are really bad, man…….

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